Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 27, 2012 - 7:17pm

I'm self-conscious and young.

I've been a member of Chuck Palahniuk's website since I was thirteen and had a monthly pass to the Writer's Workshop over there once when I was maybe fourteen. I never used it. I thought I'd try again so I came here.

I have no idea what's important enough about me to mention. I'm eighteen. My biggest accomplishment to date is being in the 99th percentile of the SAT writing section while living in a hotel at seventeen. I wrote about Jersey Shore. I've never seen it.

I speak decent Spanish and a little French, but I'm just a working-poor white kid from the outskirts of the suburbs. I was supposed to go to a private university in January but I resisted because of an abusive relationship I was in at the time. I'm waiting to go to IUPUI, the public university in Indiana, because my financial aid will basically give me a full-ride scholarship. I'm fairly unremarkable.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 27, 2012 - 7:24pm

Welcome!

I'm self-conscious as well.

I speak fluent Spanish, but not French.

Seems like an interesting history to call yourself unremarkable.

Either way hello!

I hope you enjoy the site. You learn a lot here and the people are great.

I suggest you visit the New People thread on my page. There's also a Facebook thread if you care to add any of the other writers on here.

If you have any questions feel free to ask me.

What do you write about?

.'s picture
. February 27, 2012 - 7:27pm

I suggest you visit the New People thread on my page.

Yeah I love that page.

Welcome. Wow, it's been awhile since I actually read someone was reading a Palahniuk book.  I guess everyone has read them all 7 or 8 times. 

Well, you can read our sex stories or we can give you book suggestions. Or anything in between I suppose. Enjoy.

 

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 27, 2012 - 7:46pm

@PandaMask First, is that what I should call you? I used my name as my username because I like personalization, so I wanted to give you the same benefit. I suppose I call myself unremarkable because I tend to over-analyze everything so the impressive aspects of my life (house fires, SAT scores) seem like such insignificant events after examining them a million times. I'm not fluent yet, but I'm working on it! I have a tendency to identify as Hispanic even though I'm pure white. I'll definitely visit the thread, but I actually got rid of my Facebook a few months ago. I almost forget it exists. I write mostly transgressive and self-devouring memoirs. Have you read Dave Eggers' memoir? It reads a lot like that. I don't pretend to be on the level of Pulitzer Prize winners, but I try to emulate him subconsciously. Mostly, I write about the strange guilt of being so normal (from middle-class to working-poor, being white, being a female, etc). I test off the charts but I get stuck in loops in my mind that fragment my intelligence, so it's easier to vacate my guilt on paper than attempt fiction.

@jacks_username A Palahniuk reference! I haven't read Rant in a long time and it's my favorite. I tend to open books I've already read at random parts and reread sections I don't remember well, and Rant's getting that treatment at the moment. I've been reading different discussions partially and skipping around, but I'm assuming you meant that thread? It's been hilarious. I thought about adding to it, but my self-consciousness got in the way so I came here instead.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 27, 2012 - 7:58pm

I overanalyze everything. Every aspect. It drives me nuts. I usually have to distract myself.
I'm hispanic, but I usually get confused for persian.
You can call me Panda if you want or add the Mask. If you want to know my real identity just go on the Facebook thread.
I haven't read Dave Eggers but I'll look him up. Is the middle-class to working poor-class in the memoir you submitted?

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 27, 2012 - 8:26pm

Welcome to the house of delinquents. 

We all have some back story that is full of shitty things that have happened. There isn't much that I could do to help, but give you honest reviews on your stories in the hopes that they are helpful in making you a better writer. I believe that is why most of us are here. 

Check your emotions at the door. No one here is going to attack you and make you feel horrible. We will help you along your journey and maybe pick and poke at something that you said. Just remember everyone here is here for fun and to get better at writing. 

Congrats on your SAT's and I hope the best for you. I look forward to reading your writing and hope that you will be an active member of this ragtag bunch. 

Very respectfully,

Jose F. Diaz aka Joseph Day aka That Guy aka The One With The Bad Attitude aka The Navy Guy

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz February 27, 2012 - 8:31pm

Salut Courtney.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 27, 2012 - 8:35pm

@Joseph
You have a bad attitude?

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 27, 2012 - 8:39pm

I can. Because this is a nice community I haven't had to break out the caps lock on anyone. But trust me, it is there. I don't try to be funny and cute when I'm mad. I'm Puerto Rican and when I get mad I seek blood. I want tears. I want to inflict emotional pain upon you until you start considering suicide.

But it takes a lot to get me to that point. I only have a few buttons and no one has come close to pushing them. God help you if you do.

AND I protect my friends. I'm die hard loyal. Most of you are safe. 

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 27, 2012 - 8:43pm

Welcome Courtney!  As the (Un)Official Official LitReactor Greeter, you've earned

 

As has been said, we goof off a lot in the forums.  Nothing mean sprited, just blowing steam and having fun.  We work in the workshop, nothing personal in there, you will get an honest assessment of your submission.  I see you've submitted somehting already, I'll give it a read in a few hours after I get to work. Dont be afraid to participate in our insanity, we're happy to have you!

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 27, 2012 - 8:43pm

I always thought you had a good attitude and were friendly.
But I would be afraid of you if you're angry.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 27, 2012 - 8:49pm

I've never had to bring it out anywhere other than Iraq. You should be safe.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 27, 2012 - 9:00pm

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 27, 2012 - 9:00pm

@Panda I have a weird affinity for everything Spanish. It's part of my guilt complex; Catholicism is appealing to me because of that and I love the way Hispanics practice it. Dave Eggers is fantastic; I didn't talk about the middle class aspect in what I posted. It focuses more on my abusive relationship.

@FNG I really appreciate what you said. I'm always defensive when I first enter a community. I'm trying to avoid that, so I like that you saw that. I'd love any and all feedback; I need it!

@Chester Salut! For the record, I can't pronounce French to save my life. Spanish ruined me.

@Dave Thanks so much! I'm looking forward to it.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 27, 2012 - 9:19pm

I want a meme.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 27, 2012 - 9:29pm

I'm interested if you're willing to share. Either here or through somewhere else.
Catholicism is really cool. Went to their schools for 12 years and it wasn't up until the last year where I understood it.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 27, 2012 - 9:56pm

Thanks Dave. I needed that.

.'s picture
. February 28, 2012 - 12:49am

I want to ask Dave for one of those awesome posters but I'll wait another day...

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 28, 2012 - 1:03am

You gotta earn 'em boys, but rest assured, I've got my eye out for any potential material.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 28, 2012 - 4:32am

Welcome! I don't even know what the running jokes are....it's a good thing. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 6:03am

Welcome!  Have fun and try to say something witty.  Everyone else does.  (tries I mean)

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 28, 2012 - 6:18am

Zing!

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 28, 2012 - 6:36am

My biggest fear is performing naked in front of a live studio audience.

Bill Tucker's picture
Bill Tucker from Austin, Texas is reading Grimm's Fairy Tales (1st Edition) February 28, 2012 - 10:24am

Welcome to the board!  As a fellow newbie, I too am looking to either a) get myself a wicked cool nickname or b) try to think of witty things to say in posts like this one.  Sadly, I am failing at both endevours, but hey, I'm still new.  Hope to see you in the Workshop!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 10:28am

Bill....Billerino, the Billster, Billorama, Bill-a-dill-a-ding-dong

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 10:30am

Billatola...

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews February 28, 2012 - 10:36am

What about Bill-miester?

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 28, 2012 - 10:49am

Billiards

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 28, 2012 - 10:50am

@Panda Catholicism is really fascinating. I love the methodology and rationality of the practice. My grandparents were Catholic, but they were drunks so I didn't learn much from them.

@Matt Thanks! I'm still finding my way around here.

@Avery I'm not the funniest, but I try. Hard.

@Vertigo I think I might actually be more comfortable doing that than being put on the spot. I'm comfortable in my fat. It's a security blanket.

@Bill I'm not sure how well I can help with either of those things, because the most creative nickname I've ever come up with is "Emmy" for "Marina". I used to be known by Kourtnie, though. Dollar-Bill?

@Chris I just wanted to point out that you're from Indiana and reading a Dexter novel. Why are we all so obsessed with him? Everyone I know either watches the show or reads the books.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 28, 2012 - 11:00am

Dolla Dolla Bill Yall

@Courtney

Have you looked up Zen Buddhism? That's a really cool religion.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 28, 2012 - 12:10pm

I actually have! I read Siddartha and Franny and Zooey at the same time, so I was on a Hinduism/Buddhism kick for a while. I ran a club at my high school for philosophy nerds and headed the religion section of it. Siddartha is typically cliche for the following sentence, but I mean it when I say it jump-started an epiphany for me. I love it when I get a religious awakening from a novel. I couldn't hold to it since I like sex and cigarettes, but I love the idea of it and Hinduism.

Bill Tucker's picture
Bill Tucker from Austin, Texas is reading Grimm's Fairy Tales (1st Edition) February 28, 2012 - 12:15pm

I was thinking totally off the map like, "Bill the Thread Killer" as it seems like every thread I've commented on thus far had died a horrible death, but that trend seems to have reversed itself. Praise Odin.

As far as the suggestions, they are all pretty bad ass but so long as it's not "Bilbo Baggins", I'm satisfied with what the majority thinks.  Too linked to the bad Irish stereotype of the Hobbits in Lord of the Rings. 

"How are ya, ma boy!  We're wee people with giant feet and social drinkin' problems!  Go get that ring, Frodo!"

On a side note, I do have a hockey nickname, "Bulletproof" but being this is a literary forum, I think a clever play on words is in order.  I do like the name Billiards, mostly because I suck at pool.  Billatola is also quite clever!

Edit: Oh, and Dolla Dolla Bill Ya'll is quite appropriate being I grew up outside Newark, NJ, the home of many members of the Wu Tang Clan.  Brick City up in here.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 28, 2012 - 12:17pm

Billiards sounds classy.

I don't think you're a thread killer. Most threads just die out. I try and bring mine back from the dead every so often.

◕ ‿ ◕

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 1:13pm

Just to be clear, did anyone get what I was doing there?  I realize the 90's were awhile ago, but I sort of thought that Rob Schneider transcended time.  Or was it too much to ecpect everyone to join in?  Is that the problem?

Never mind.

Avery the Thread Killer

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 28, 2012 - 1:40pm

I vote for Billiards, personally. My dad played on pool tournaments on a team called The Happy Hours.

Avery, I completely missed your reference. I didn't have TV throughout most of the nineties... if I had, I probably wouldn't remember it since I turned seven in 2000. I'm a fucking youngster.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 1:47pm

It was a thing.  A dumb thing, but a thing.

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 28, 2012 - 1:48pm

I am ashamed to admit this, but I do that with one of my supervisors at work....sigh...

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 28, 2012 - 2:10pm

I got it Avery...Rob Schneider when he was still funny.  The good ol' days of SNL.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 2:17pm

Thank you, Dave.  Will you teach a class on how to smirk?

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 28, 2012 - 8:26pm

Forget the smirk-teaching for now Dave - first, how about a workshop teaching us how to come across less creepy and insane on the discussion boards?!?

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 28, 2012 - 2:19pm

Yeah, I'll make a workshop out of it.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 28, 2012 - 2:25pm

Fantastic!  I think people will have more confidence in me if I can master that. 

 

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 28, 2012 - 2:33pm

To smirk, you must only use one side of your mouth.  Also, on the same side of your face, squint that eye ever so slightly.  Finally, raise the eyebrow of your squinty eye between 1/4 and 3/4 of an inch.  Too high and it's theatric.

 

$577.00 please, payable to Dave, Inc.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 28, 2012 - 2:48pm

Billiards.
18 huh? Fuck that is young. All you can buy is porn, cigarettes, and scratchers. Maybe that's all you need.

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 28, 2012 - 8:27pm

Welcome Courtney!

I took a Venezuelan woman to the Department of Health today for immunizations - she was bitten by rats. So, today's biggest fear is being gnawed upon by rats. This may turn out to be this week's, if not this month's, biggest fear...
 

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks February 28, 2012 - 9:05pm

I'm just a baby. It's weird, though, I didn't get carded until the day I turned eighteen; I've been smoking and buying my own since I was thirteen. I went in on my eighteenth birthday and they requested ID. I was shitty, considering I don't have an ID, since I don't have a license.

Boone, that sounds horrendous. I called an ambulance for a kid bitten by a black widow four days before I saw him. His family sucked. His arm looked disgusting. I was terrified of spiders for years after that. Rats, not so much. I used to hiss at them (I'm part cat) and they'd run away. Try it next time you're confronted with one.

Also, I used to have a wonderful smirk, but I lost it. I have no idea how that's possible.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 29, 2012 - 10:15pm

I'm anti-smoking, but mostly because I see what it does to people. All I see is hair in your picture it might be the culprit hiding the smirk.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts February 29, 2012 - 9:39pm

My biggest fear is rape.

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz February 29, 2012 - 9:43pm

@Boone: That sounds like Liana's Psychosis story.

@Rennie: Deliverance.

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 29, 2012 - 10:13pm

^i wanna read liana"s story

(poor ned beatty - i'm still symathy-sore for him) 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 1, 2012 - 2:26am

I don't think I actually have any fears......like none.....and that scares me.