Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts October 25, 2013 - 10:34am

If everyone starts holding it against people for acting like twats every once in a while then I am really screwed.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 25, 2013 - 10:37am

lol@Utah

The sandy expanses of the landlocked west become my cruel purview.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 10:38am

@AD:  YES!  I would like you to scold JY Hopkins for making statements that could be construed as demeaning to myself and Sean for our redundantly-labeled assless chaps bonding experience (yet to happen but crossing my fingers!), and for not couching those demeaning remarks in an appropriately subtle and plausibly deniable way.

I EXPECT BETTER FROM YOU, JYH!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 10:41am

The sandy expanses of the landlocked west become my cruel purview. 

Much better.  More what I expect from a man of your abilities. 

I HAD TO LOOK UP "PURVIEW"!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 25, 2013 - 10:43am

If I can't mock this thread then what shall I mock?!  I feel like my hands are being tied.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 10:44am

I feel like my hands are being tied.

Is Sean wearing the chaps without me?

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 25, 2013 - 10:47am

@utah - I misspelled it at first.

@AD - I'm couching, I'm couching.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 25, 2013 - 1:04pm

"Is Sean wearing the chaps without me?"

I'm not at liberty to say.  

HOWEVER!  That has nothing to do with you trying to stop me from causing chaos within a community I love so dearly!  

 

All shall love me and despair!

#TeamAvery

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 1:06pm

I'm not trying to stop you from doing anything!  You've taken me all wrong!

In fact, if I might pseudo-quote an incredibly wise man:  "Who, me?  No, I wasn't being a jerk to [you].  I was trying to help [you].  I mean, not really; even though on other threads I get all preachy about ... internet conflict...well...I secretly like [it]."

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 25, 2013 - 1:13pm

So what you're saying is, you've been using this site the entire time JUST TO GET LAID?!  

Jesus Christ, dude.  Uncool.  

 

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff October 25, 2013 - 1:15pm

I had to look up 'chaps'. My avatar popped out. And that has nothing to do with Utah's gifting habits.

They were full-assed pants before I started with the swords. My first twirls were awkward, okay?
And nope, they won't get any awkwarder. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 1:19pm

you've been using this site the entire time JUST TO GET LAID?!

And it was working pretty well, too, until you meddling kids showed up on this thread and started hatin!  In fact, I'm pretty sure Fyhl gave me some kind of rash, and JGB might be pregnant with my baby. 

So.

Yeah.

@Flaminia:  Your avatar totally popped out because of my gifting habits.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 25, 2013 - 1:19pm

That's the trouble with sword play.  You start with pants.  And then all of a sudden everyone can see your ass.  

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 1:21pm

Holy shit, where's the "Like" button?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 25, 2013 - 1:21pm

Fyhl's a CAT!  That's just disgusting.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 1:22pm

Fyhl's a CAT!

And, as it turns out, I am allergic.

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff October 25, 2013 - 1:23pm

Yeah, it just took so long to realize..

I HAD A PURVIEWANCE!!!

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 25, 2013 - 2:27pm

Utah, you should be thanking me for the only remotely clever thing on your profile

 

My goal as a writer
I'm pretty sure my goals as a writer are basically the same as everyone else's goals as writers:  to be successful enough at it to move to Bar Harbor.  At this stage of my life I realize that I've wasted a lot of time not pursuing that (writing, not Bar Harbor; Bar Harbor is an island, it's not going anywhere and I could catch it at a walk), but I fortunately now have (I think) the work ethic and discipline to make it happen.  And if I'm wrong about that, then I will retroactively refer to my other goal as a writer, which is to use it to pick up chicks.  Don't tell my wife.

 

You're welcome

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 25, 2013 - 2:38pm

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL ALL YOU FUCKERS!

 

Although, I will say this:  That entire profile is clever, witty, and fantastic.  If you disagree, I'm going to have a field day editing all your posts to talk about how awesome I am.

JEFFREY GRANT BARR's picture
JEFFREY GRANT BARR from Central OR is reading Nothing but fucking Shakespeare, for the rest of my life October 25, 2013 - 2:51pm

What do you mean, might be?

You bastard! You fertile, magnificent BASTARD!

I'll just tell little Utey jr. that his daddy died in the war. Riding a mastadon. Taking on a whole battalion of space bugs. WIth a lightsaber in each hand. And wearing assless chaps.

He died like he lived!

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres October 25, 2013 - 3:42pm

Nevermind...My cat jumped on my keyboard again. Sorry for the confusion.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts October 25, 2013 - 4:26pm

So you're telling me now, Sotd, that instead of you writing stories to lure pussy by. . . you've got the pussy doing the writing for you.

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 26, 2013 - 11:48am

Utah, I figured that you were too old to be influenced by me. I'm glad to know you are already better off for having interacted with me. 

 

#TeamUtah

OtisTheBulldog's picture
OtisTheBulldog from Somerville, MA is reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz October 26, 2013 - 10:29am

70 virgins in paradise? That seems like a lot of work and a lot of tentative sex and way too much missionary. No, I want to write the words that gains me access or at least allows me to be able to afford 70 straight up coked out nymphos who will use me until my carcass becomes a deep November corn husk disregarded and awaiting the frost. That's noble writing, my friends. The rest of you are just misogynist pigs with less than altruistic motives. You better check yourselves before you wreck yourselves. Word(s). 

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines November 4, 2013 - 11:59am

@Otis, remember that time we were drinking at the late night hot dog joint and the most earnest loser in all of Portland went home with someone and we all went our separate solo ways?

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres November 4, 2013 - 5:39pm

@ Drea & Otis: I want to drink with both of you at a late night hot dog joint in Portland. Invite the most earnest loser in all of Portland too, if that's what it'll take to make this magical night happen.

OtisTheBulldog's picture
OtisTheBulldog from Somerville, MA is reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz November 4, 2013 - 11:27pm

Yeah - that was kinda bullshit. Dude did have a pretty sweet truck and he was 19th generation Portland, so, who are we to judge? 

Carly Berg's picture
Carly Berg from USA is reading Story Prompts That Work by Carly Berg is now available at Amazon November 5, 2013 - 2:41am

Wouldn't it be funny if guys started being stingy with it and we women were the ones who had to "try to get laid?" You know, like you'd be groping around, begging for sausage while he smacked your hands and blabbed on about being in a relationship first. Wait. That's strangely kinda hot. *wanders off, confused*

 

 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 5, 2013 - 6:20am

@Carly:  I do that all the time.  It confuses the hell out of my wife.

Carly Berg's picture
Carly Berg from USA is reading Story Prompts That Work by Carly Berg is now available at Amazon November 5, 2013 - 7:19am

ROFL!

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines November 7, 2013 - 8:33am

@sean of the dead -- 2014, baby. Bring your PBR drinkin' woman. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters November 7, 2013 - 10:07am

 your PBR drinkin' woman

That's me!!!!!!  :D

 

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On November 7, 2013 - 11:34am

What is going on in Portland and how does one get invited to this?

JEFFREY GRANT BARR's picture
JEFFREY GRANT BARR from Central OR is reading Nothing but fucking Shakespeare, for the rest of my life November 7, 2013 - 1:54pm

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles November 7, 2013 - 4:11pm

I was just in Portland. The broads weren't the best. They don't know how to wear makeup like a Jer-Zee girl. 

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines November 8, 2013 - 4:11pm

Who said it had to be in Portland?! 

Jonathan Riley's picture
Jonathan Riley from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland November 8, 2013 - 9:45pm

I want to go. I want burritos. Just make sure it's in a city where I can write and everyone will have sex with me. You know. Because I write.  

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore November 9, 2013 - 8:21am

I wonder how much worse artists' work would be if they were getting laid as often as they'd like (and/or by the people they'd like).

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles November 9, 2013 - 10:40am

Burritos are massively overrated. No one has ever had a great burrito while sober.

OtisTheBulldog's picture
OtisTheBulldog from Somerville, MA is reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz November 9, 2013 - 11:17am

Ahhh, Eddie, now I'm just starting to feel sorry for you. You don't have women beating down your writer's door and you're eating subpar burritos. It's ok, man. We can work on this. 

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter November 9, 2013 - 11:23am

@Gordon: That sounds like a great new thread topic...

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On November 9, 2013 - 12:15pm

@Gordon: I'd be writing Mitch Albom fan lit while shopping for Thomas Kincade lithographs--that is if I had the time from all that nookie.

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore November 9, 2013 - 2:04pm

Sounds about right. "Sorry, babe, it's not a fear of commitment, but a financial consideration for the inevitability of my art suffering. You just make me too happy."   *face slap, tears*

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig November 9, 2013 - 3:21pm

I cannot believe I missed this thread up until now. I don't know where to start responding, so I won't, except to this:

I write to get paid.

Fyhl, that is even more ridiculous than writing to get laid! I mean, if you write certain things, you might endear yourself to someone enough to make them want to sleep with you, but writing for money? That's such a quaint and antiquated idea, it's almost cute... oh. I see what you did there...

 

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres November 9, 2013 - 4:23pm

Burritos are massively overrated. No one has ever had a great burrito while sober.

I, too, feel bad for you. Maybe it's a New York thing? Maybe the ones they serve up there in Brooklyn are causing you to discriminate against an otherwise amazing food. If I had grown up where I currently live, I might agree that burritos aren't very good, as the Mexican food here is pretty bland and weak. Luckily, my earliest burrito experiences came from places that were heavily populated by Mexican restaurants. 

 

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter November 9, 2013 - 4:40pm

I dunno, my mom made pretty good burritos. She wasn't even Mexican. :S

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated November 9, 2013 - 6:01pm

Eddie is just too cool too like anything in the place he lives and too cool to move.  Brunch, burritos, girls, whatever.  Must be horrible.

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On November 9, 2013 - 6:16pm

We've all had bad examples of __________(fill in your food of choice), but there are also great examples of it in other places. I've had some fucking to-die-for burritos in LA and Austin. 

TomMartinArt's picture
TomMartinArt from Amherst, MA November 9, 2013 - 6:27pm

My songwriting, yes, multiple times. My writing writing, no.

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles November 10, 2013 - 9:39am

You can't get a bad burrito in San Diego even if you try, Austin has giant burritos, L.A. is a great burrito city. For some reason NYC has the absolute worst Mexican food.