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Crappy, Ben-Cooper-Style Literary Costumes
October 17th, 2019
Ben Cooper, Collegeville, Halco — these names meant Halloween for decades. The costumes they made were crappy. In terms of materials, looks, fit, really any objective measure, these companies made shitty getups. But they were also super fun, and besides, getting a crappy costume had a hidden advantage: If your costume from last year barely held up for one night of trick-or-treating, you HAD to get a new one for next year. Sure, you might want to be He-Man this year, but next year? That's for babies.
Read Column →Women Are Reclaiming and Perfecting The Rape Revenge Narrative
October 16th, 2019
Triggering Content
Read Column →How Lit Witchcraft Can Help Your Writing
October 15th, 2019
I don’t always write when I witch, but I always witch when I write. This was not always the case. I began writing poetry when I was a teenager, as most people who write poetry do. I did not take it particularly seriously. In my 20’s I began to explore various mind altering techniques, ranging from meditation, yoga, ecstatic dancing to tarot card reading. Through the process of putting my mind and body through the paces of a psychic workout, I was able to become more grounded in my life, and to become more aware of myself and my feelings as they occurred.
Read Column →Ask Nick: Publishing 201 - Why Do Some Writers Get To Fail More Than Once?
October 14th, 2019
Hello, and welcome back to Publishing 201—an occasional column in which I'll answer your questions about writing and publishing, so long as they haven't been asked and answered a million times already. There is plenty of 101-level advice out there, and thousands of writers who can repeat it, but very little has been written for writers further along in their careers or aesthetic development. If you have a 201-level question you'd like me to answer, reach out!
Read Column →My Literary Tattoo Isn't a Book: It's a Pen
October 14th, 2019
Photo courtesy of the author I’m a big fan of tattoos. I haven’t always been, but it’s like I woke up one day halfway through college with this idea in my head of the tattoo I wanted, and once I got that one, I couldn’t stop. I now have four—three on my right arm, and the original on my left. My third tattoo, which I got at a little shop in Mexico City, is my literary tattoo.
Read Column →What's With Stephen King and Farts?
October 11th, 2019
Farts. Flatulence. Toots. Breaking Wind. Blowing Ass. Cropdusting. I’d just like to point out that writing this column is technically a job for me. And by writing it, I’ve confirmed the saying is true: “Do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Beef walk, brown belch, cornhole crack, trouser cough, bumsen burner. I got a late start on Stephen King, but since I got rolling I’ve been plowing through his books faster than a heinous fart wrecks a nice Sunday morning in bed.
Read Column →The Maligned History Of "It Was A Dark And Stormy Night"
October 10th, 2019
"Swamped Swallow" by DigitalEpicness / Public Domain "It was a dark and stormy night..."
Read Column →The Thing Holding You Back from Being a Better Writer
October 10th, 2019
This was originally going to be a nice article that analyzed other successful writer's habits and routines, and how you could then apply said lessons to your own writing discipline. I would talk about people like Hemingway, Stephen King, Faulkner, and Murakami, then analyze the trends that appeared in their routines and show the common threads that ran amongst them so that you could apply that to your own routine. I got 80% through writing that article, and then realized it was kind of bullshit and threw it in the trash.
Read Column →Dying on the Mountain: How Goals Will Kill You and How to Focus on the Process
October 9th, 2019
In an old and underrated Robert Redford movie, The Last Castle, he plays a disgraced general in a military prison, toiling under the oppression of a sniveling warden played by the late, great James Gandolfini. The prisoners are stripped of rank and not allowed to salute, and as punishment, the warden has them rebuild one of the ancient prison's stone walls, by hand. When they lament the punishment and put the mildest of efforts into the construction of the wall, the Stoic General Eugene Irwin replies simply, "But it's your wall."
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