Columns > Published on October 30th, 2012

Guess The Plot Episode V: Thrills, Chills, and Me-ows!

There is just no possible way that I could let the ghastliest, grossest, most ghoulish month pass by without a special installment of Guess The Plot. Because nothing says "Halloween" like trying to figure out what in the name of Frederick Krueger is going on within a classic horror novel based only on the insanity on its cover.

Here's How To Play: Come up with a short description of the following book’s plot. Your theoretical summary should be the logical extension of the cover, although wild-ass extrapolation is certainly encouraged. And no checking with Google for plot information, I want pure originality! Post your work in the comment section below and bask in the praise and respect that's sure to follow. (Check out the previous installments for inspiration: Episode I, Episode II, Episode III, Episode IV.)

So turn down the lights, stick your hand in some cold spaghetti, and prepare yourself for the ultimate terror of...


Good golly! Like, all the hair on my goose bumps just turned white! And that's only natural, when faced with as haunting a vision of the macabre as this masterpiece. What we have here is nothing less than life and death itself, wrapped up in one horrendously unflattering gown. I mean, Caly is a fit and beautiful woman who happens to have a Skull Head, but that dress isn't doing her any favors. (Plus it clashes terribly with her Skull Head, which - come on - I'm sure she's trying not to call too much more attention to.) Maybe Maine isn't exactly a sartorial hot spot, but I have to imagine that there are some kind of chic bridal options in the greater Kennebunkport area. Or just go with a rustic theme - maybe the groom could wear a plaid shirt? Have fun with it! Take it from me - you will never find a dream house when that thing is haunting your closet.

Want to join in the spooky fun? Maybe you've got a catty fashion zinger of your own? Let's hear 'em all in the comments!

About the author

Originally from Concord, Massachusetts, Jon Korn spent a decade in Los Angeles trying to get warm. He now lives in Oakland, where he works as a writer and film festival programmer. Over the past 10 years, Jon has watched tens of thousands of movies for the Sundance Film Festival, AFI FEST, Outfest, and CineVegas, among others. Not all of them were good, but it is still a wonderful job. Jon is the co-creator of the Echo Park Time Travel Mart and a Jeopardy! champion. His hobbies include cooking, being sad about baseball, and not answering the phone.

Similar Columns

Explore other columns from across the blog.

Book Brawl: Geek Love vs. Water for Elephants

In Book Brawl, two books that are somehow related will get in the ring and fight it out for the coveted honor of being declared literary champion. Two books enter. One book leaves. This month,...

The 10 Best Sci-Fi Books That Should Be Box Office Blockbusters

It seems as if Hollywood is entirely bereft of fresh material. Next year, three different live-action Snow White films will be released in the States. Disney is still terrorizing audiences with t...

Books Without Borders: Life after Liquidation

Though many true book enthusiasts, particularly in the Northwest where locally owned retailers are more common than paperback novels with Fabio on the cover, would never have set foot in a mega-c...

From Silk Purses to Sows’ Ears

Photo via Moviegoers whose taste in cinema consists entirely of keeping up with the Joneses, or if they’re confident in their ignorance, being the Joneses - the middlebrow, the ...

Cliche, the Literary Default

Original Photo by Gerhard Lipold As writers, we’re constantly told to avoid the cliché. MFA programs in particular indoctrinate an almost Pavlovian shock response against it; workshops in...

A Recap Of... The Wicked Universe

Out of Oz marks Gregory Maguire’s fourth and final book in the series beginning with his brilliant, beloved Wicked. Maguire’s Wicked universe is richly complex, politically contentious, and fille...

Learning | Free Lesson — LitReactor | 2024-05

Try Reedsy's novel writing masterclass — 100% free

Sign up for a free video lesson and learn how to make readers care about your main character.

Reedsy Marketplace UI

1 million authors trust the professionals on Reedsy. Come meet them.