Columns > Published on May 7th, 2012

Guess The Plot, Episode II: Plumb Away!

Guys, we did it. We really did it. Last month, in Guess The Plot's debut, I offered up four classic science-fiction covers and asked for LitReactor's help figuring out what the novels inside could possibly be about. And you all didn't just show up, you killed it. Go back and check out the hilarious comment section in that link. Gold, people, hot bubbling gold!

So I'm back, with just one cover this time. One amazing cover. 

Here's How To Play: Come up with a short description of the following book’s plot. This theoretical summary should be the logical extension of the artwork and text on the covers, although wild-ass extrapolation is certainly encouraged. And no checking with Google for plot information, I want pure originality! Then post your work in the comment section below.

And now I present to you...

'Into Plutonian Depths'

Into Plutonian Depths 

Hello Nurse! Our buddy Señor Coblentz is really putting the 'fantasy' in 'Avon Fantasy Novels,' right? From her sassy golden-snake sandals, to that striking pearl/enormous green orb headpiece, this young woman is positively bedecked! No wonder all those dudes are chasing her - they need to know where on Pluto they can get a quality mani-pedi. As for her companion: yawn! It's just sad that Avon would spring for an icon of fashion like Timothy Dalton and then dress him in business casual. At least the editors have seen fit to release Coblentz's masterpiece unabridged, so readers can finally appreciate just how 'faraway' Pluto actually is. Moving on, let's see if we can't break down the 'three sexes' teased in the headline:

1) Former James Bonds. (Is it Jameses Bond? I can never remember.) 

2) Hurdy-Gurdy Girls with impeccable taste and their insatiable, shirtless Fanboys. 

3) Super Horny Stalagmites.

All right, have at it! And make 'em great, because now I have expectations. So make Papa Johnny proud!

[As always, please send me covers for future episodes on Twitter @Kornlock.]

About the author

Originally from Concord, Massachusetts, Jon Korn spent a decade in Los Angeles trying to get warm. He now lives in Oakland, where he works as a writer and film festival programmer. Over the past 10 years, Jon has watched tens of thousands of movies for the Sundance Film Festival, AFI FEST, Outfest, and CineVegas, among others. Not all of them were good, but it is still a wonderful job. Jon is the co-creator of the Echo Park Time Travel Mart and a Jeopardy! champion. His hobbies include cooking, being sad about baseball, and not answering the phone.

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