Author Humiliates Lazy Student Online, Creates Great Buzz
Trying to get out of required summer reading is, for some, as time-honored a back-to-school tradition as any. While the Internet may offer lazy students a simple method by which to outsource their work, it’s also given them a lot of exposure and allowed everyone, as with everything on the Internet, an opportunity to respond. Even, in the case of ♥ Idiot America ~ ϟƘƦІןן∑x ♥ (catchy name, bro!), the author whose very work he was attempting to avoid.
The above-mentioned future Rhodes Scholar took to a Yahoo! Message board earlier this week in an attempt to get out of doing his homework: reading The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep And Never Had To by DC Pierson. In his original post, the student offered a dubious explanation as to why he couldn’t read and summarize a modest 240 pages, and then asked the online community if anyone could do it for him. He probably didn’t think the second reply would be from the author himself.
Pierson, whose novel (his first) is being published by Vintage Contemporaries, wrote a rather amusing response that was part editorial, part educational. It read, in part:
First off, I'm really excited that my book is being suggested for summer reading. On the other hand, I'm bummed out that you don't want to try and finish it, and not even because you think it's bad, but just because it seems like work instead of like fun. I'm not going to sit here and act like I didn't sometimes not read assigned books for class in high school. Even though it's referenced once in my book, the book you're avoiding reading, I've never actually read "The Scarlet Letter." So I'm sympathetic to your plight. But I think you'll find there's a ton more sex, swearing, and drugs in my book than anything else you have been or will be assigned in high school, and I don't mean in the way your teacher will tell you "You know, Shakespeare has more sex and violence than an R-rated movie!" I mean it's all there, in terms you will readily understand without having to Google them. Plus not once to I refer to anything as a "bare bodkin" or anything like that.
The post and Pierson’s reply have turned out to be a great move for word-of-mouth relating to The Boy Who Couldn’t Sleep and Never Had To, as the entire thread has gone semi-viral, sweeping across tumblr and other blogs in a matter of hours.
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