The Wild West World of eBook Only Erotica (NSFW)

EDITOR'S NOTE: All links in this article should be considered armed and dangerous, and are to be approached with caution in the workplace.


Where to begin?

It was while doing research for my Dennis Cooper interview that I tumbled head-first down the rabbit hole of eBook only erotica (henceforth to be known as eRotica). I was familiarizing myself with Cooper's back catalog and had innocently typed The Sluts into the Amazon search bar when BLAMMO! I was eyeball deep in the stuff. Cooper's novel was the first result returned, but the rest of the list was populated by such catchy titles as Daddy's Little Slut, Confessions of A Slut, Demon Slut, Santa's Slut, The Big Book of Sluts, and Tramp Stamp Club: My Slut Wife Training. Naturally, being the bastion of journalistic integrity that I am, I felt it was my duty to investigate further.

The majority of the books seem to have been written by one Kelly Haven, CEO and founder of Sweet Nothings, "an electronic publisher dedicated to bringing you erotic fiction so hot that it'll melt your eReader." As if that wasn't tantalizing enough, the bio on her blog assures us, "Oh, and she loves sex!"

Of course she does.

Her Amazon profile is quick to add, "She's a confessed nymphomaniac, chocoholic, and loves a cold beer after a sweaty day of fun." An accompanying footnote reads, "This bio was provided by the author or their representative." Hm...

A quick search of the internet turned up only one picture- a snapshot of porcelain skin, wisps of yellow hair, and pouty pink lips. That was enough evidence for me. There is no proof that Haven is anything other than what she claims to be- a hot chick who loves kinky sex- and most definitely NOT a dirty old business man masquerading as male fantasy. I mean, does this sound like something a man would write*?

I write hardcore, explicit smut that has one purpose and one purpose only: to get you off.

My eBooks feature lots of tight young girls, horny older guys, barely legal babysitters, taboo subjects, licking lesbians, and loads of pornographic action that will leave you in a hot mess on the floor by the time you’ve finished reading one. They’re short, to the point, and rest assure[d]…there’s none of that nasty plot stuff to get in your way.

You want sex? I’ll give you sex.

And I won’t even ask you to cuddle afterward…promise :)

And she ain't joking about the taboo subject matter. A large number of her eBooks seem to center around the sweetest of taboos** (Sade knows what I'm talking about), and usually contain the word "daddy" in the title. She even claims to have indulged in it:

So if you know anything about me at all, it's that I grew up in my later teen years with a Step Dad. He's always been really good to me, and we share a special bond that goes beyond mere hugs and kisses...

Incest not your thing? Haven's got two sexy friends looking to put the yowzers in your trousers. Rachel Boleyn, the other other Boleyn girl, whose old website features full-on porn pics; and Miranda Ashby, a mother of two who loves to bake and specializes in hot dude-on-dude action. (I guess gay men prefer their eRotica to be written by middle-aged housewives. Go figure.)

Together they are the Holy Trinity of Trash (could it be they are one as well as three?), and they are making BANK. Porn has always been a lucrative business, as well as an early adopter of new technology, so this should come as no surprise. ePublishing is just the latest frontier for the business savvy pervert to conquer. It's like the wild west out there- no laws and little competition- and a few intrepid settlers are earning their fortune and making their mark.

Interested? Then hitch up your wagon and check out this blog post by Sleep Over With Daddy author, Angel Wild, about the secrets of her eSuccess. She claims to have made over $2500 in the first month with only 7 short stories. Seeing how most of these stories are priced at $0.99 to $2.99, that's pretty impressive. It just goes to show- sex will always sell, no matter what the medium.

But who's buying? Oddly enough, most of the reviews on Amazon seem to have been written by- GASP!- Women! Earlier I posited that these books were being written by men under feminom de plumes. Could the same be true of the reviews? Is this yet another marketing ploy to appeal to the sexual fantasies of men? Or are there women out there who actually appreciate porn? ( <= Also a male fantasy. This is getting complicated.)


For those of you balking at the interchangeable use of the words "erotica" and "porn" in this article, you've got a valid point. There is definitely a difference. Based on the covers, titles, and quality of the writing, most of these books fall into the latter category. They lack a certain... art. We're not talking Lady Chatterley's Lover or The Story of O, here. Hell, we're not even talking the bodice-ripping pirate rape of your mother's Harlequin Romance. This is unabashed, down and dirty fuck fiction, made specifically to put money in pockets and a rocket in yours.

Check out this example from the modern classic, Little Virgin Sister's Webcam Show:

SYNOPSIS:

Reese is young, smart and sexy, and she has a plan for paying her way through college; she's going to host her own webcam sex show. However, she's missing a critical ingredient - a man to perform with her. When her smoking hot stepbrother loses his job and is forced to move back home she realizes her potential co-star is sleeping in the next room. But will he be willing to take her virginity and perform on webcam?

'Oh ya baby, oh ya. Fuck me harder! You stallion!' the slim blonde woman on the computer monitor screamed out. Positioned on her hands and knees in front of her partner - a large, rugged-looking dark-haired man - the blonde moaned and cried out as her partner pounded his monster-sized cock into her ass.

Reese winced as she watched him relentlessly hammer into the blonde. Damn, that must hurt, she mused. Her own bottom ached just watching[...]

[...]she heard the sound of faint chuckling from the doorway. Looking over she saw Luke. He'd just come out of the shower and had a white towel tied low on his hips. His lean, muscular body gleamed as droplets of water made their way down his broad chest and flat stomach, disappearing under the towel.

Her eyes traveled down, and then up the length of his body. Luke was extremely sexy. If he wasn't her stepbrother, she'd be all over him. But he was her stepbrother, so any inappropriate thoughts that ran through her head from time to time about him - he was hot, she couldn't help it - got tightly sealed in the back of her mind in a vault titled: Forbidden and Off-limits.

Such elegant prose, ya? What was that girl, Swedish? If nothing else, the utilitarian wordsmithery achieves the unintentional silliness of a porn scenario.

I'm tempted to throw my hat into the ring, but hesitate because the proverbial "ring" is more of a circle jerk, and I don't want my hat to get soiled. If anything, I'd love to bring a little class to the table. Some olde tyme chivalry and flowery language. Take back the eStreets (sorry, Bruce) and make them eRotic again. Here's a little something I've been working on. Let me know if you guys think I have what it takes:

The undergrowth of her undercarriage shimmered with the sheen of her musk. Glistening liquid orbs trickled down the shaft of her pubic fronds, breaking up into even smaller droplets, ejected in an arc like seed as they met the pliant flesh of her quivering pussy cheeks. These satellite droplets fell like tears, splashing off the porcelain cliffs of her inner thighs, and ran down in rivulets to fill the basin of her cleft like some geological formation at the dawn of time.

“Be gentle, Sir Knight. It is my first time.”

She didn’t say it- she breathed it. The plea tumbled out in a whisper, the word “time” barely avoiding being sucked back in on a sharp intake of air as a finger dipped into her honey-pot.

“That makes this a first for me as well," The Knight cooed like an over-confident pigeon. "For I have only known the hospitality of a lady by force.”

Her body stiffened, eliciting a smile.

“But you are different, my lady. You are the first I have wanted to give of herself… willingly.”

He hovered over her body, the proof of his words bouncing like a diving board moments after its athlete has gracefully floated towards the watery depths.

“My warrior is yours to command.”

She followed the motion of his fleshy plank with her eyes; it wagged as if attached to a disapproving nun’s hand.

“Your warrior,” she stammered. “Why doth he wear his gorget?

The Knight is taken aback.

“My lady, I thought thee a maid… how would you know of such a difference?” 

“I do have brothers, you know.”

His mouth became a lewd gesture.

“Oh? And how often have you defended yourself against your brothers' warriors?”  

“Often enough to recognize when a warrior is adorned with extraneous armor.”

Frowning, The Knight leaned in with intent, putting his mouth over hers as much to silence her as anything else. His purple fist gently tapped her stomach, as if a kitten’s errant paw. A tide of lust rushed in only to be pulled back by the undercurrent of hesitation as she pushed him away.

“No, I can't. It is not to be...”

A flash of anger. “You bloody cock tease.“

“I am royalty, and you are a commoner.”

“I thought that’s what you liked about me?”

"I am a Republican, and you are a Democrat."

"I don't vote."

“I am a Capulet, and you are a Montague.”

“Huh? My surname is Jefferson.”

“That is another problem. You are black, and my father is Italian. He will only alow a fellow countryman’s picture to adorn the walls of his daughter’s pizzeria, if you catch my drift.”

Aaaaaaand... scene.

I don't know about you, but I think I've got literary gold on my hands, so I'll stop right there. Don't want to give it all away for free. Keep an eye out for my Amazon author's page, cumming soon. Oh, and watch your back, Kelly Haven. If that is your real name.

Think you can do better, ClitReactors? Film critics are failed filmmakers. Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't write eRotica, jerk off. So put up in the comments, people. 


*If you are interested in eRotica written by a man, might I suggest Lactating Step Daughter by Billy Corey? My Step Daughter has all this extra milk and doesn't know what to do with it!

**See also: the Psuedo Incest Series by Gia Blue.

Jacey Cockrobin

Column by Joshua Chaplinsky

Joshua Chaplinsky is the Managing Editor of LitReactor.com. He has also written for the popular film site Screen Anarchy and for ChuckPalahniuk.net, the official website of 'Fight Club' author Chuck Palahniuk. He is the author of 'Kanye West—Reanimator.' His short fiction has appeared in Zetetic, Motherboard, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, Thuglit, Dark Moon Digest, Pantheon Magazine, and multiple print anthologies. More info at joshuachaplinsky.com.

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Comments

Rob's picture
Class Director
Rob from New York City is reading at a fast enough pace it would be cumbersome to update this December 19, 2011 - 9:55am

Brilliant. 

But not nearly as brilliant as the one, single Amazon review for Lactating Step Daughter

So much more could have been done with this story. It was short, like a chapter, not a decent story.

Right? Because there are SO MANY narrative possibilities when it comes to lactating step daughters!

Hetch Litman's picture
Hetch Litman from Ojai, Ca. is reading Father and Son by Larry Brown December 19, 2011 - 9:56am

Seems like I have three options:
1. Teach
2. Jerk off
3. Find the girl n the cover of "Lactating Step Daughter" and marry her.

Think I'll do all three while I drink scotch as a test of strength.

Meredith's picture
Meredith from Houston, Texas is reading Career of Evil by Robert Galbraith December 19, 2011 - 10:21am

The other other Boleyn girl, hah!

Joshua Chaplinsky's picture
Joshua Chaplinsky from New York is reading A lot of Brian Evenson December 19, 2011 - 10:41am

Didn't realize the Lactating Step Daughter was going to be so popular. I downloaded the story for research. What's your excuse, Rob?

Jason Van Horn's picture
Jason Van Horn from North Carolina is reading A Feast For Crows December 19, 2011 - 11:09am

This is a sick and disgusting article that should never have been published!

:slinks away to go download a few of them now:

amongthegoblins's picture
amongthegoblins from North Carolina is reading Among Others, The Three Musketeers, Bindoff's Tudor England, and Les Sortceliers December 19, 2011 - 11:21am

Your sample sounds more like a clip from a romance novel, at least towards the beginning. There's a reason those things are so popular, you know.

Actually it's a big myth that women aren't into porn. I would agree that the Kelly Haven ones are mostly aimed at men, but have you ever been on Fanfiction.net? A big chunk of slash fiction is basically hot male-on-male sex written (primarily) by women, (primarily) for women. I'd guess that a lot of the erotica on Amazon is the same.

Rob's picture
Class Director
Rob from New York City is reading at a fast enough pace it would be cumbersome to update this December 19, 2011 - 11:21am

Right Josh. Research. Is that what you're calling it now?

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz December 19, 2011 - 11:48am

Salacious, libidinous, lubricious venery. 

Joshua Chaplinsky's picture
Joshua Chaplinsky from New York is reading A lot of Brian Evenson December 19, 2011 - 12:17pm

@Rob: That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

@amongthegoblins: Are you yourself a lady? If not, I'll take your comment with a grain of male fantasy salt.

Also, romance novel is what I was going for.

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines December 19, 2011 - 4:56pm

Okeee dokee.  

I'd sooner rub one out with a razor blade than equate this crap with sexy.  Actually, I'd sooner start a foundation to raise money for the distribution of thesauruses to porn stars.  Serious. 

Great article, Josh. 

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz December 19, 2011 - 5:23pm

Ouch. Now that is a mental image and sensation. Sanguinary.

Arkadia's picture
Arkadia from Australia is reading Selected Poems by W.H. Auden December 20, 2011 - 4:16am

While it's possible Haven is a creepy male with daddy-daughter fantasies, I have no problem believing a female is indeed writing this stuff (although the chances of the author being a sexy blonde nymph with luscious pink lips and all that are negligible to say the least). I'd probably put my money on a team of ghost-writers though, depending on the length of the works.

I've explored the 'fetish world' quite a bit, simply out of curiosity (although there's nothing with indulging, I guess, I ain't judgin!) and it seems there are almost as many girls into the daddydaughter fetish as men. That's one fetish that certainly does creep me out, I will admit.

Anyway, I really just wanted to comment on this:

 

A flash of anger. “You bloody cock tease.“

“I am royalty, and you are a commoner.”

“I thought that’s what you liked about me?”

"I am a Republican, and you are a Democrat."

"I don't vote."

“I am a Capulet, and you are a Montague.”

“Huh? My surname is Jefferson.”

~

Seriously, this is golden. I am still giggling.

Delilah Fawkes's picture
Delilah Fawkes from Portland, OR is reading Snow Crash December 20, 2011 - 8:34am

Haha! Love this article :).

I'm one of Kelly Haven's fellow smut slingin' writers, and actually blog with her over at www.onehandedwriters.com. My avatar on Amazon is actually my real eyeballs, so I'm either a very fem guy, or a For Reals Woman: YOU be the judge! ;)

I was as surprised as you guys are that a lot of women actually are reading this stuff. I get emails from women and have professional contact with a lot of other lady authors on a private forum where we talk about our actual, boring non-pornarific lives and know there are a lot of dirty-minded housewives and career gals.

And there are also a lot of guys posing as lady authors!

I'd be happy to field questions if anyone has em, but great article! I love your prose, sir!

Delilah Fawkes

Joshua Chaplinsky's picture
Joshua Chaplinsky from New York is reading A lot of Brian Evenson December 20, 2011 - 9:01am

Thanks for chiming in, Delilah. Nice to hear from an actual erotic author on the subject. I appreciate the insight.

@Arkadia: Yeah, the daddy/daughter thing. I'm not ashamed to say I've plumbed the depths of the internet, and yes, there do seem to be a lot of ladies into that scene. Who am I to judge? I have a Ukrainian coal miner toe nail clipping fetish. I import bags of the stuff at great expense.

Thanks for reading, guys.

Hetch Litman's picture
Hetch Litman from Ojai, Ca. is reading Father and Son by Larry Brown December 20, 2011 - 9:18am

@amongthegoblins said: "basically hot male-on-male sex written (primarily) by women, (primarily) for women."

 

I never thought about this. Are you saying that women are turned on by gay man-sex like we are turned on by lesbian sex? This, I never knew. 

Hetch Litman's picture
Hetch Litman from Ojai, Ca. is reading Father and Son by Larry Brown December 20, 2011 - 9:19am

@drea said: "Actually, I'd sooner start a foundation to raise money for the distribution of thesauruses to porn stars."

 

Don't do that. I prefer my dumb sluts, well, dumb.

Delilah Fawkes's picture
Delilah Fawkes from Portland, OR is reading Snow Crash December 20, 2011 - 11:03am

@Hetch Litman "I never thought about this. Are you saying that women are turned on by gay man-sex like we are turned on by lesbian sex? This, I never knew."

 

Hell yes, they are! :)  Man-on-man erotica and erotic romance have been eating up the charts on romance sites especially catering to women. It's exactly like guys wanting to watch naked co-eds pillow fight, only the lady version.

Women really are just as perverted as guys, which should be very good news to husbands/boyfriends everywhere!

Joshua Chaplinsky's picture
Joshua Chaplinsky from New York is reading A lot of Brian Evenson December 20, 2011 - 11:09am

@Hetch

Haven't you ever watched Sex and the City? Or at least been forced to watch it by a girlfriend?

Kirk's picture
Admin
Kirk from Pingree Grove, IL is reading The Book Of The New Sun December 20, 2011 - 8:12pm

I was just going through analytics and started down the rabbit-hole of referral traffic. Anyhow, as I made it to Amazon, I noticed something that many readers might find of value.

If you are an Amazon Prime member, many of these books are FREE for you to read on the Kindle platform.

So there you go, you don't even have to pay for your smut.

Delilah Fawkes's picture
Delilah Fawkes from Portland, OR is reading Snow Crash December 20, 2011 - 8:37pm

The Kindle Select program was actually flooded with erotica writers on Day 1 putting their stories up in the lending library :). The only downside to readers is that they can only borrow 1 book per month if they have Amazon Prime.

My prediction is that a lot more people will use that borrow for a $9.99 e-book they've been eyeing than a .99 cent or $2.99 smut story. Only time will tell, though.

Joshua Chaplinsky's picture
Joshua Chaplinsky from New York is reading A lot of Brian Evenson January 26, 2012 - 7:01am

What the hell happened to Lactating Step Daughter?!?!? Amazon took the link down!

amongthegoblins's picture
amongthegoblins from North Carolina is reading Among Others, The Three Musketeers, Bindoff's Tudor England, and Les Sortceliers March 5, 2012 - 10:17am

This is way belated, but there was a question so I'll answer it: 

@Josh: "Lady" is a subjective standard, but I am definitely female, as my profile page indicates.

Joshua Chaplinsky's picture
Joshua Chaplinsky from New York is reading A lot of Brian Evenson March 11, 2012 - 11:09am

Haha, fair enough.

Renee Quattromani's picture
Renee Quattromani May 27, 2012 - 8:04am

@Josh-Hilarious. Your article topic is always ripe for fun. Your take on writing your own porn/romance was excellent. They are often one and the same, despite some writer's insistence on the difference. LOL.

@Delilah Fawkes- We should hook up! I'm in Portland too. There is smut, erotica, and romance writing... :-)

@Hetch- Hell yes, women like to read about sex, any sex. At least women who are comfortable with their sexuality. I read, write, or talk about sex easily. M/M, menage, whatever....My friends not so much, and until Shades of Grey no one around me ever even considered reading erotica. Hilarious! But they are out there. With the lights out, reading on their eReaders, under the covers.

Cheers on this gray Sunday from Portland!

Miranda Moth's picture
Miranda Moth from Guelph, Ontario, Canada is reading The Maze Runner by James Dashner May 28, 2012 - 6:32am

This article is amazing! I've been telling a male writer friend that he should give this a try, but as @josh says there is a fear of one's hat becoming soiled in such a circle jerk (in this case your hat being your name and reputation). As fun and lucrative as it would be to dive into this world as a temporary confidence builder, I think if you want to be serious about writing you should stick to some more respected genres... or at least use a pseudonym... This pursuit definitely seems either for perverts or people who've abandoned their higher literary dreams due to the state of the publishing industry. One could compare this development to actual adult relationships; you can put in the time and effort  involved in wooing that perfect ten (your masterpiece literary novel) until she comes quivering to your bed, begging you to take her, and then giving you the best night of your life... OR you could pick up ten of those blonde sluts at the bar, or wherever you pick up your local blonde sluts, the kind that have slept with at least five of your friends, and have them quick and dirty in an alley or dumpster only to wonder the next few days if you've contracted herpes (selling out your literary soul with cheap and dirty ebook erotica). Maybe the answer to that decision lies in how much you value yourself and your work. If you feel you're good enough for the 10, then you'll keep trying, whereas if you feel you're good enough to get that 4 to blow you in the alley... get it?