Columns

John Swartzwelder Is The Funniest Writer You're Not Reading

June 27th, 2016

As my exciting story opens, I am being punched in the stomach. And thus begins the career of Frank Burly, and thus begins The Time-Traveling Detective, the first novel by John Swartzwelder.

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What A $5 Book Cover Looks Like

June 24th, 2016

Self-publishing isn't the scarlet letter it once was. Okay, there's still some stigma. But I'll admit, some of that stigma is earned by people like me who crank out some weird, stupid garbage and slap it onto the Kindle store. You can't write 3 Ninjas fanfic and feel like you're free of guilt there.

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10 Mistakes (Almost) Every Rookie Writer Makes — Part Two

June 24th, 2016

You've taken classes and workshops. You've worked and reworked your fiction, revising from feedback, honing your craft. And now, at long last, you're ready to send your fiction out for consideration by agents, editors, and publications. But whether you're a bright young thing with the world on a string or a worldwise elder with stories to tell, these ten craft issues will make you look like a rookie—and they'll keep you stuck in the slush pile. 

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How Harlan Ellison's 'Watching' Predicted Film Twitter, or Why Film Criticism Will Save the World

June 24th, 2016

Known for novels, short stories and screenplays, Harlan Ellison also worked as a film critic. Writing for Cinema Magazine, the Los Angeles Free Press, Starlog and The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, he built a contrarian reputation, panning such classics as 2001: A Space Odyssey and Star Wars while propping up novelties like Big Trouble in Little China. His writings over two decades, collected in 1989 as Watching, presciently anticipate “Film Twitter”.

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Storyville: What Literary Fiction Can Teach You About Genre Fiction

June 22nd, 2016

I just got back from teaching at the University of Iowa at their Summer Writing Festival, which is always a great time. My classes—Dark Fiction: Writing Horror and How to Write a Popular, Successful Genre Novel—both went over well. And I feel like so much of this topic, where genre fiction meets literary fiction, is fresh in my head, so let’s sit down and talk about this. More specifically, how can literary fiction teach you about genre fiction?

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The Medicated Writer

June 21st, 2016

The first suicide was the hardest, but by the third, I began to realize that if I was to be a writer, I had to learn to let people go.

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All of the Articles I Didn't Want to Write

June 20th, 2016

One of my favorite quotes about writing is by Don DeLillo, and it refers to the draft as a “hideously defective, hydrocephalic and noseless” infant. That is exactly how I've felt about certain pieces I've been commissioned to write over the years, not just when they were drafts, but when they were grown adults as well.

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What Works & What Doesn't: 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'

June 20th, 2016

Welcome back to What Works & What Doesn't. If you've been following this series of columns, you'll know we're poised to examine the dynamics of Act III, which occupies anywhere from 20 to 30 pages of your script and wraps the story up, even if—and this is important—the audience isn't necessarily "happy" with the results.

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The Desert Island Bands of 13 of Your Favorite Writers

June 17th, 2016

One of the best movies of 2016 is without a doubt Jeremy Saulnier's Green Room, which tells the classic story of a punk band fighting a bunch of Neo-Nazi scumbags in the woods. It’s intense as hell and unforgiving in its violence. Around the beginning of the film, the band is being interviewed, and one of the questions is: “What’s your desert island band?” Meaning, if you were trapped on an island, and you could only pick one band to listen to for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

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Storyville: Contemporary Superheroes Through the Eyes of a Pre-Teen

June 13th, 2016

I was never into comic books as a child. I can remember getting up early on Saturday mornings though, to watch Johnny Quest. I can remember rushing home from school to catch Speed Racer. And there are some foggy memories of Ultraman as well as Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot. There was the original live-action Batman, with Adam West, of course, and then later, the animated Super Friends, my introduction to the Justice League of America.

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