Top 10 Words That Need To Die, Immediately
Header image by Pieter Joost Lemmens
The English language is full of beautiful words. Like effervescent, and skullduggery, and defenestrate.
And then there are these. These blights. Affectations that are completely devoid of meaning. Crimes against the English language that, just by saying them, you can lower any IQ within earshot.
You may look at some of the words and say, "Those are portmanteaus and acronyms and memes! Onomatopoeias and slang terms! Surely they do not count as words!"
But, these are all things I have personally heard people say out loud. Not to mention their constant, unending appearances in every corner of the internet. These are things ingrained in our language so deeply that, no matter where you say them, no matter who you say them to, these things will be understood. That makes them words.
Words that need to die.
10. Bromance
Origin: A portmanteau of the words brother and romance, created in the 1990s by Dave Carnie (editor of the skateboard magazine Big Brother) to describe the relationships that develop between male skaters.
Why it sucks: The word bromance exists so two guys can be friends without being accused of wanting to touch each other's junk. It's not homophobia, but it's close. Maybe I'm a little European in my thinking, but two guys should be able to be friends without having to create some sort of no-homo shield around it. Also, portmanteaus are generally obnoxious. Putting two words together to create a new word is not a unique, creative skill. It's lazy kitsch.
9. Man-cave
Origin: The origin of this phrase is not entirely clear. Some say it was born of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray. In the book, Gray discusses the propensity of men to "retreat" to their caves, or safe havens, to sort out their problems.
Why it sucks: Man-cave is less a word and more a marketing term, created to sell pool tables and sports memorabilia to guys who feel they need a masculine refuge from their nagging wives. Here's a fun statistic: 90 percent of people who see my home office call it my man-cave. It being in an attic and full of vintage paperbacks and computer equipment, I don't know what makes it a cave, or manly. Here's another statistic: I don't live in a damn cave.
8. Awesomesauce
Origin: Unclear, though some people attribute it to Strong Bad, a character from the Homestar Runner series of Flash web cartoons, who refers to a cleaning product with the trade name of Awesome Sauce.
Why it sucks: I don't know why someone thought the addition of the word "sauce" to "awesome" would give it more impact. Maybe because awesome used to be a big, grand word meant to describe the beauty of the universe, not the nachos you had at the bar last night. And again, portmanteaus. They are terrible.
7. Foodie
Origin: The word was created in 1981 by Paul Levy and Ann Barr, who used it in the title of their book The Official Foodie Handbook. A foodie is different from a gourmet; while a gourmet is considered an expert on food, a foodie is an amateur striving to be an expert.
Why it sucks: Oh, you're a foodie? So you like food? Guess what? So does everyone else on the planet. People assign fancy titles to the things they do because it makes them feel better (than you). I'm a writer, but what would you say if I started calling myself a wordsmith? Foodies should choke on their locally-sourced organic chicken.
6. Irregardless
Origin: Unknown, but many believe it's a portmanteau of irrespective and regardless. Most dictionaries list it as nonstandard or incorrect.
Why it sucks: This is not a word! It bothers me that I even need to put this on the list, but I still hear people say it, all the time, and not even ironically. They say it because they think it's a real word. But even on the face of it, it doesn't work, because it's a double-negative. The ir- and the -less essentially cancel each other out. This is a jumble of stupid.
5. Fail
Origin: Unknown. Fail has appeared as an interjection in Urban Dictionary as far back as 2003. Google Trends indicates that internet users began exchanging and searching for pictures labeled with FAIL in 2004.
Why it sucks: This word needs to be put out to pasture, and not just because my mom used it in a text. It might have been clever the first couple of times it was used, because don't we all love laughing at the misfortune of others? But like any joke, by the 9 trillionth time it's been told, it's just not funny anymore. This word, by the way, is rendered even more dangerous by the addition of the word epic.
4. Nom
Origin: A derivative of om-nom-nom, which was first used by Cookie Monster in Sesame Street, and later made popular by brain-numbing web travesty, the lolcat. Technically an onomatopoeia, or a word that suggests the source of the sound it describes.
Why it sucks: More kitsch, and the worst kind. It's a cutesy, childish sound, nearly on the same level of babytalk, but adults use it. Adults! Who are talking to other adults! It's like saying wah when you're upset. Is this what we've come to, America? Babytalking each other?!?
3. Totes
Origin: Unknown. Some believe the word was coined in 2009 by Paul Rudd in the film I Love You, Man. Totes actually appears in Urban Dictionary as far back as 2003.
Why it sucks: Every time I hear totes I think of tote bags, so the usage is a stumbling block on my path to understanding whatever idiotic thing was just said. It forces me into a hate-spiral of twisted logic: "Oh, this person meant to say 'totally,' but substituted an abbreviation, because shaving off two letters saves time, except for the fact that it took me longer to process what they meant, and then I started thinking about this... and now it's all gone to hell."
2. Winning
Origin: Charlie Sheen.
Why it sucks: Charlie Sheen.
1. LOL
Origin: The oldest written record of LOL was from a message typed by Wayne Pearson in the 1980s on Usenet. On March 24, 2011, LOL was formally recognized in an update of the Oxford English Dictionary.
Why it sucks: This is a bane on language. It is barren of meaning. It's barely a punctuation mark. Whenever someone types LOL in conversation, I want to hold them to that: Really? Did your epiglottis actually just constrict your larynx, producing the sound of laughter? Or did you just type it, to take up space, because, why not?
I think it's the lack of authenticity that bothers me about LOL. To type it is to say that you're expressing a basic understanding of amusement, and nothing more. It's fodder. What um is to public speaking, LOL is to typing.
And the people who say it out loud. Oh, the people who say it out loud. They are damned.
Those are mine. Now show me yours. What words do you think need to be eliminated from the English language...
Column by Rob Hart
Rob Hart is the class director at LitReactor. He also wrote The Warehouse, which sold in more than 20 languages and was optioned for film by Ron Howard. Other titles include the Ash McKenna crime series, and Scott Free with James Patterson. His next novel, Paradox Hotel, is due from Ballantine. Find more at www.robwhart.com.
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Comments
I will not give up awesomesauce. No. You can't make me!
If I say any of these, it is in pure sarcasm.
Totes for real, bruh.
Swag.
This used to refer to free things given away at conventions and other gatherings. Somehow it has evolved into an ambiguous expression. No one knows what "I've got swag" actually means; though, some argue it is the same as saying "I've got style." But it is also used as a response, as an introduction, as a closing statement. It just doesn't make sense... swag.
I always cringe when I hear people actually saying LOL, whats wrong with just laughing?
"Chillax" chill out and relax SUCKS!
I hate all the merging of couples names and first name/ surnames of celebs.
The only good "made up word" I have heard recently is "Bieberphile" to refer to grown ups who love Justin Bieber. It so funny I could say LOL at it (not really...)
On the heels of FAIL and, as you already alluded to, I nominate "epic." Gilgamesh was epic. The Odyssey was epic. Beowulf was epic. Making an ass out of yourself at the bar the other night was not epic. Not even close.
"nice" - see George Carlin's rant
"get" - as a substitute for about a hundred other perfectly descriptive verbs.
I hate the word "guesstimate".
Deets. Gods, the loathing "Deets" inspires. It is supposed to be short for "details." Much like the Totes example above, hearing it drops a girder smack in front of my train of thought.
And now, to use all ten words in one absolutely terrible sentence (with the addition of "umami" because, ugh.):
While sitting with his good friend in “The Land of Winning!”, a particularly atrocious name for a man-cave, the self-declared foodie nommed away at an umami-filled delicacy, and said “Irregradless of our bromance, I just wanna say that your lady friend is awesomesauce and I would totes make out with her. J/K! LOL!”, which all agreed was an epic fail.
lol
Man cave brings to mind male to female post op transsexuals, at least to me.
This is snobby faux literary elitist nonsense. Relaxing a bit, exhaling that breath you've been holding since college and going with the flow will allow you to either enjoy ridiculous memes or not be angry enough to write a post discouraging all of humanity from enjoying them. Posts like this are the English equivalent of angry atheists.
Exceptions: Bromance and irregardless, which I doubt people use as jokes. :) LOL.
I would like to rid the world of the words "Fashionista" and "Shopportunistic" Every time I hear these words uttered on TV Ads, I cringe. Now they have begun to spread to every day lingo. Please people do not repeat these words, they are horrid! I also agree that bromance and irregardless are putrid, but, I must admit that awesomesauce I have used on occasion.
This one will probably make the writer of this post insane, but I love to use this word to describe people that I have no respect for and truly dislike. The word is.... Turdnugget. As in,"That person (insert name here) is a Turdnugget". It brings a little bit of joy and definitely a smile to my face every time I speak it.
I cannot stand the word "webinar". It's ugly to say and it's ugly to look at but I guess in some ways it accurately prepares you for sitting in front of a glitchy webcast* at some ridiculous hour. You just know nothing good will come from attending a webinar.
*Yes, I know.
"My bad." A phrase that makes me want to stab the speaker.
!!!!!!! yes, yes, and yes!!!! let them all die... my bit of kindling?
*oh, and N.L. Vaught... it's actually "schwag" and it should, most definitely, die among the rest. I think "swag" is derivative of "swagger" which alludes to a certain type of style or the way an individual carries oneself.
I wonder if "dude" will ever make its way onto one of these "lists of the loathed"...hmmmmm.
I would love nothing more than for OMG to die. And everyone that says OMG instead of Oh My God will die with it.
you would think the word 'gourmand' would adequtely replace "foodie", but i suppose it just appears too epicurean for practical speaking lay-folks to start abusing...
I agree with man cave. What springs to mind most is a gentleman's anal region. I would rather not have my boyfriend hang out with some guys in his man cave. Thanks.
Totes ma-gotes makes me giggle 'irregardless' of its current overuse.
I love this list, and will continue to secretly enjoy "nom."
However, the word "literally" makes me cringe.
SWAG is free stuff, sometimes that fell off a truck, or was Stolen Without A Gun.
Random. "That was random." Was it? Really?
Real instead of the adverb.
Literally. Chuck knows what I mean about this one.
Foodie should be eliminated from the lexicon. These are the same people that tend to term themselves connoiseurs, experts, or mavens. You're none of these. You are a fan, perhaps. An enthusiast, certainly. Please make it stop.
Any verb that is now used as a noun: install, invite, etc.
That said, I have used the term libationist to describe what I do part-time.
I can't believe nobody has brought up "nother", as in "a whole nother". Like "irregardless", it's simply NOT A WORD. I like "quotation marks".
I had an argument with someone over the word (NON-word) irregardless. They kept telling me it was in the dictionary so it was a word. But even in the dictionary, it says it is incorrect.
I don't know that I have much to contribute, but I'd like to throw my weight behind the crusade against "random" and "epic." People very seldom use "random" appropriately, and unless your drunken night involved a sword, it was not "epic."
On a related note, I loathe when people misuse "literally." I've heard someone say that she literally laughed her ass off. I spent thirty minutes asking how she could sit and offering first aid before she caught on.
I'd add "weird" to the list. It's not a word that needs to die, but a word that needs to stop being abused. I'm all for the evolution of language; I think it's absolutely integral to language as it is. I'm just bothered when people ignore words that have precise definitions in favor of watered-down bollocks that means almost literally nothing.
I don't have a particular problem with portmanteaus (I've been known to combine atrocious and horrendous into horrocious), but I tend to use them only toward comedic ends.
Ah. How about "ironic?" Poor word is misused more frequently than hand lotion.
I fail to understand how "disingenuous"is a proper word? I was always under the impression you cannot use double negatives in words. Someone please either explain how that freaking word works or take it out back and shoot the damn thing.
Side note: Portmanteau is quickly becoming my favourite word.
How about we all retire "Woo Hoo" said mostly by women describing their emotions following a pleasant event. Its now common place to say this phrase in both hopes to rise to some occasion or as a ready-made reaction to something perceived as fun.
I agree with Renee , AwesomeSauce is great and I am not ready to give it up.
I have,recently been bugged by the word contrived...the statement "it's just so contrived" is just so contrived!
Literally has been coming up and yet,still people misuse it....literally!!
"Disingenuous" is a proper word because the prefix "in-" does not always mean "un-" or "not." It has a second distinct and historically rooted sense where it means "into, in, on, or upon."
The word "inquire," for example, does not mean "not to query, not to question," but means precisely "to ask a question." The version that passed to us more directly from Old French ("enquire") means exactly the same as the more Latin-influenced version, "inquire." Notice that with these words there is no sense of negation or "the opposite of" implied, because it's a sound-alike prefix with a completely different chain of etymology. By the same token, you wouldn't think of "enlightened" as meaning the opposite of having a light turned on in your mind or the burden of ignorance lifted. Quite the contrary. So, the answer could be stated like this: sometimes "in-" equals "en-" and other times it means "un-" or opposite.
It isn't used nearly as often these days, but "ingenuous" is a perfectly good and historically anchored word meaning "candid" or "upright" or "of noble character." Disingenuous is the opposite of ingenuous and works just like "unenlightened."
I signed up just to say that the most overused, misused and improperly used word on the Internet is troll and I kindly ask it stops. Remove it from your vocabulary. Criticize your friends for using it. Kill it dead.
Add "no-homo" to that list as well...
nother
This is not a word. End of story.
As a verb "disrespect" can leave anytime, along with "diss". "yo" is another one that tires me.
Can someone please explain to me what "bwahaha" is! I don't know if im supposed to be offended or if this is a more genuine way of saying LOL...
Can someone please explain to me what "bwahaha" is! I don't know if im supposed to be offended or if this is a more genuine way of saying LOL...
Maybe we should hold a funeral for them like Rick Rubin did for the word def?
Even though I agree with the ridiculousness of these words, despise abuse of the English language, and readily admit to an bit of loftiness in my own manner concerning certain subjects... the author really seems like he's got a stick up his butt. Just calm down, alright? There's no need to be so virulently angry and cynical about the subject. You declare "foodies" to be snobs who all think they are better-than-thou - yet this entire post is a vindictive peroration...
I like LOL because hahahahha is overdone but I guess I could hahahhahah more. It's important to actually say when you are joking though online because otherwise people will just think you are an asshole. So I do LOL a lot. I am the worst LOL'er you have ever seen. I always took bromance as meaning possibly bisexual if he gets drunk. There is hope in that word. I agree with "winning" though, Charlie Sheen should just fucking die already. I hate his goddamn face.
I absolutely go crazy when people say " I go, he goes, she goes" instead of " I said, he said, she said." Unfortunately this speech pattern is now ubiquitous that I fear the word 'said' is becoming extinct. WTF?
I hate man-cave, omg, and lol, whatever, and that awful shiz. Just say shit for god's sake.
Working in the entertainment industry, "swag" was always promotional items and crew clothing. (I'm down to 52 "swag" t-shirts!). Never heard it called "Schwag", that word meant something else, usually unrelated to the industry, unless it was August and you only had "local crew" to deal with.
As a reaction to "lol", I instead say"llo", meaning "loudly laugh out", best said in a bad Russian accent. I'm sure most think I've mis-typed!
"Cray". As in, "Oh shit, son, that was craaaaay!" Really? You're removing one letter from a word and using it like it's new. Fuck (hypothetical) you.
"Cool beans" needs to go away and die. But 'psych' is immortalized in the annals of my vocab.
I would say the tone of the article is playfully contentious and provocative--an exaggeration of the author's real sentiment carried out to deliberate rhetorical effect. But then, I know Rob, and he's never vindictive or seething. The pet peeves, I'm sure, are sincere, but the personality behind them is not a venomous one. There's a payoff for this well-manicured anger in entertainment value to the reader who enjoys it. And who doesn't enjoy an erudite and well-reasoned rant, at least once in a while? Judging by the page views and sheer number of people creating accounts under provocation of making a first post in this thread, the tone of the article is as effective as the list format and the subject matter.
It's a regionalism. Growing up, the only time I ever heard "I go," "he goes," and "she goes" used as a substitute for "said" was when my cousins from Northern Indiana were visiting. For everything you might object to in the speech patterns of southerners, we do not substitute "goes" for "said." So, if the main fear is ubiquity, the world is safe. Move to anywhere in the southeastern U.S., from Kentucky to Florida, and you'll never hear this almost Canadian or Fargo-sounding expression.
ive got a few that oddly noone has said,
1.whatevs.
2.ginormous.
3.pwned
4.LIKE (she was like omg, and i was like oh no you dint.)
Ironically (LOL and heeheehee), a word that needs to die is the word "sucks," which the author of this post used at least ten times (each time making me cringe). Funny that he was so exercised by all of those terrible words and yet was oblivious to one of the worst of them. I am about as sick of this word as I am of the word "awesome." Sucks is such a vulgar and profane word, which nobody realizes anymore since its original meaning has been so completely (or should I say totes?) stripped by its out-of-context overuse. My mother was appalled every time she heard it being repeated regularly in conversation starting in the 1980s and explained to my little child mind how it had been used in conversation previous to that time. After her explanation, I vowed to never use the word and it always bothers me when I hear it...so crude. Couldn't the author have used something a little less trendy to express his displeasure about each of his top ten words? But even if it didn't have a horrible original meaning, the fact that sucks is so overused in conversation is reason enough to kill it dead. Please. Oh, and the word "dude" as well.
Here's mine: "Really?"
I can't stand this word and everyone uses it as a sentence. I don't know what's worse, how unoriginal "Really?" is or how mindlessly people repeat the question everywhere. The author of this blog asks, "Really?" People commenting on the blog ask, "Really?"
By saying "Really?" it's as if you're saying, "I'm so smart or from New York or European or whatever that what you are doing is unbelievable to me. In fact, I am questioning whether you exist or are instead a figmant of a retarded hallucinatory experience that sucks."
Well since you're so smart can you construct a creative alternative question? Can you come up with something funny to say that isn't stolen from Saturday Night Live?
Yes, really.
Amazeballs
It is just as bad as its first cousin, awesomesauce. They'll never make decent food together.
I'd go along with most of these, although I have never heard of "awesomesauce".
Fathergetdown - I remember my siblings and I using "ginormous" as rural British kids in the eighties. That's not to say you shouldn't hate it, but it's not an internet-related Johnny-come-lately like the other words you mention (which I agree with).
"Literally" is my favourite.
"I literally died laughing!"
"She had legs literally up to her armpits!"
It does give rise to some great mental images.
The practice of shortening words needs to be gotten rid of! Like "schedge" instead of "schedule." It bugs me to no end!