50 Signs You’re In Love With A Writer

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When I came up with a Jeff-Foxworthy-style “Signs You’re in Love with a Writer” post for LitReactor, I knew one thing for sure: infinite internet brains would be better than mine alone. So I took to the social media streets (Facebook and Twitter) asking writers and lovers of writers to offer their own one-liners using the hashtag #InLoveWithAWriter.

The examples I gave of signs you’re in love with a writer:

  • You think wrist braces are sexy
  • Dates always turn into brainstorming sessions

I was delighted by how many people decided to play. They were funny, snarky, heartfelt, or simply true. I went through and picked out my favorites for your amusement. (Some of them I altered slightly to fit the setup wording.) Behold!

50 Signs You’re In Love With A Writer:

Mid-conversation, their eyes spontaneously glaze over and you realize they've just left your world —Jennifer Nielsen‏ 

You think the musky, unshowered for days smell is sexy (eau de deadline) —Jess Capelle

The only time the kitchen gets cleaned is when they have writer's block —Sarah L. Blair

Their perfect murder in the game of Clue would be the editor in the library with a large red Sharpie —Tonya Murphy Mitchell

The smell of keyboard dust/printer ink turns you on —Alex Langley

Books seem to reproduce in your house like bunnies —Christopher Shultz

Instead of love notes, you send texts back and forth about the best fantasy swear words to use —Cynthia Barnes‏ 

You spend more time discussing fictional characters than real people —Daniel Moss

You have resigned yourself to the fact that twitter *might* actually count as work...sometimes —Darci Cole‏

You can never be sure WHO that person is today —Del Cain

Attending an author signing has the same religious-like significance as a church service —Tonya Murphy Mitchell

You're in a three-way relationship —Derek Chivers

The phrase "What's on draft" has nothing to do with beer —Lisa Bubert

Your suggestion of a great opening line becomes a moment that bonds your relationship forever —Jennifer Nielsen

Foreplay involves reading favorite sexy bits from books you both love ;) —Jenny Bhatt

You enjoy acting out scenes so your writer can accurately describe body movement —Jess Capelle

You can't visit a new city without hitting up a bookstore —Christopher Shultz

She gets up at 4:30. Cuz seriously. Who does that? —Karrie Zylstra Myton

Your house is filled with pens, pencils, sticky notes, notebooks and lots of sugar and caffeine —Katherine K‏ 

All your fights are recorded for late night session playback #inspiration —katiuska brigian

When they write a love poem for you but then you later realize they wrote it for THEM —Alessia M‏ 

You're no longer concerned when the police/fire/federal agencies call —Jennifer August

You celebrate more writing milestones than you do anniversaries —Cynthia Barnes

You're fully prepared for the just-be-quiet-and-occasionally-slide-crackers-under-the-office-door phase of revisions —Kelsey Macke‏

You like being ignored for hours (or days, or even months. Years? Did someone says years?) on end —Kristen Stevens

You don't find it weird they start brainstorming ways to murder & get away with it —Krystle Kwiatkowski‏ 

You're not alarmed that your SO's search history includes poisons, weapons, and rare diseases —Laurel Gale‏ 

You understand that deadlines mean it's your month to cook —Liana Brooks

You suddenly find yourself inspired to write —Lindsay Ryan‏

Seeing "Plot the murder" on the To Do list raises no cause for alarm (you think) —Lisa Bubert‏

You secretly provide ALL the best plot points but your name never makes the cover —Kelsey Macke‏

Not being all that concerned with how often she showers —Megan Whitmer‏

You don't blink when asked seemingly random questions out of the blue... worse yet you answer them not expecting to get any context. He just leaves the room —Maaike Linton

Your house is covered in post-it notes with scribble on them —Marc Nash

When calling someone a pantser isn't foreplay —Mark Benson

You love every book he or she has written —Monique Aimee Dyer

You're completely blasé about it when you discover their search history —Regina Richards

You're a simple country kid and yet you find yourself using five dollar words like blasé —Regina Richards

They go into a spasmodic fit when they spot typographical errors on public signs and billboards —Tonya Murphy Mitchell

If you've ever had to buy them chocolate to recover from a bad case of Cover Art Blues —Liana Brooks

The arguments you've been having make their way into their WiP —Rob Kristoffersen

You listen to many versions of a query letter/synopsis/outline & appreciate the small changes to perfection —Sarah Bale‏ 

All the pens are missing and you find them stashed in the nightstand —Sarah L. Blair

You let him hang a giant whiteboard in your living room for all his brainstorming notes —Maaike Linton

When you piss her off then end up the side character who gets killed off in her next story —Carey Torgesen

You don't mind being stared at like a vulture while you're reading a manuscript —Saundra Mitchell 

Scrabble is an Olympic sport —Tonya Murphy Mitchell

Your pen budget goes up exponentially —Christopher Shultz

The endless cycle of self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-aggrandizement is simply irresistible —Kelsey Macke‏


Thank you so much to all who played along! Want more? Just hop on Twitter and check out the hashtag #InLoveWithAWriter or visit my Facebook thread for even more than I could fit in one list. And feel free to add your own; it’s never too late to poke fun of and/or celebrate the weirdest people on Earth. ;)

Annie Neugebauer

Column by Annie Neugebauer

Annie Neugebauer likes to make things as challenging as possible for herself by writing horror, poetry, literary, and speculative fiction—often blended together in ways ye olde publishing gods have strictly forbidden. She has work appearing in over fifty venues, including Black Static, Apex Magazine, and Fireside. She’s the webmaster for the Poetry Society of Texas, an active member of the Horror Writers Association, and in addition to LitReactor, a columnist for Writer Unboxed. She’s represented by Alec Shane of Writers House. She needs to make new friends because her current ones are tired of hearing about House of Leaves. You can visit her at www.AnnieNeugebauer.com for discussions, poems, organizational tools for writers, and more.

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Comments

Sirery's picture
Sirery April 26, 2017 - 11:09pm

Thanks for such big love to writers, Annie Neugebauer! I also have very many books in my home library and sometimes I'm creating my owm poems and little stories about my life. And I'm a member of amazing team of very professional essay writers! You can visit our website and leave us you reply too.