The Amazing Spider-Man's Amazing Aunt: The Movie?

Aunt May Movie?

I'm not the first to cry out against gender-based sleights. Even so, it's impossible to ignore the fact that there's a dearth of lady-led comic book movies. Where's Wonder Woman already? Can Black Widow get a James Bond kind of thing going? Is the world ready for Dazzler, or the real question, can the world get ready for Dazzler? Because I want a Dazzler movie, in no small part because I want the Dazzler movie soundtrack.

All of this, all of these great options, makes it even more baffling that Sony is rumored to be considering a feature film based on Spider-Man's Aunt May.

In full disclosure, the rumored reason Sony is considering Aunt May: AuntMayGeddon (my suggested title) is that they have to make another Spider-Man movie, otherwise the film licensing will revert back to Marvel. After Amazing Spider-Man 2 didn't hit home the way they'd hoped, Sony started looking through some other possibilities. There was talk of a Venom movie, a Sinister Six, and even "a female lead Spider-Man movie" of uncertain origin or content.

After looking over these options, Aunt May was thrown on the table. (Ouch!)

Aunt May was recently one of the subjects of Trouble, a series penned by Mark Millar designed to re-work the origin of Peter Parker. Trouble is a bit like an Archie book with more sex and...well, with more sex. No need to spoil exactly what happens here, but some Spider-timeline changes resulted. However the story was quickly categorized as non-canonical.

There was also, famously, an Aunt May story in which Aunt May was granted power by Galactus, he of the world-eating and weird purple hats. May was transformed into (I swear, I'm not making this up) Golden Oldie. A lot of weird plot ensued, mostly involving Golden Oldie rounding up enough Twinkies to feed Galactus' hunger and stop him from chowing down on Earth. Golden Oldie eventually found a gigantic space Twinkie that was protected by a cosmic...you know what? I can't keep summarizing this. It was insane. You can read it all here.

My guess, as a Spider-Man superfan, is that the Aunt May movie is less about sexiness or cosmic baked goods, and it's more a way for Sony to hold onto the Spider-Man franchise without spending the Spider-Man cash. Which is a shame because, let's face it, "this is a cheap and easy way to manage legal rights" is a terrible premise for a movie.

Could an Aunt May movie be awesome? It's possible. It's totally possible. Does it feel like Sony's purpose is to make an awesome Aunt May movie? Not in the slightest.

Image of Trouble
Author: Mark Millar
Price: $5.07
Publisher: Marvel (2011)
Binding: Hardcover, 120 pages
Image of Essential Dazzler, Vol. 1 (Marvel Essentials) (v. 1)
Author: Chris Claremont, Marv Wolfman, Tom Defalco, Danny Fingeroth
Price:
Publisher: Marvel (2007)
Binding: Paperback, 552 pages

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