Publisher To Release Sexier Versions Of Classic Books

Publisher To Release Sexier Versions Of Classic Books

via Huffington Post

An adult-fiction publisher is planning to take literary classics like Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice and Sherlock Holmes, and sexy them up for new audiences. Call it the Fifty Shades of Grey effect. 

Claire Siemaszkiewicz, founder of Total-E-Bound Publishing, which is releasing the titles digitally on July 30, said:

We're not rewriting the classics. We're keeping the original prose and the author's voice. We're not changing any of that... But we want to enhance the novels by adding the 'missing' scenes for readers to enjoy.

Expect to see Jane Eyre have "explosive sex" with Mr. Rochester, and Sherlock get busy with his trusty sidekick, Dr. Watson. 

Sherlock and Watson. It's a move that's not only completely contrary to the characters (Holmes is essentially asexual and there's no undertones of romance between the two in Doyle's work), but it completely disregards the wishes of the Doyle estate

I've always sort of disliked people taking public domain works and remixing them. Sticking robots into Anna Karenina, in my opinion, cheapens the work, and it's not funny or clever, it's just kitsch. In fairness though, I've never read Android Karenina, so my opinion isn't entirely informed. Maybe it's good. 

But this. I can't even. If I get started I'm never going to stop. 

So let's hear from the peanut gallery. What do you think? 

Image of Jane Eyre (Dover Thrift Editions)
Author: Charlotte Brontë
Price: $5.50
Publisher: Dover Publications (2003)
Binding: Paperback, 448 pages
Image of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Author: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Price: $6.00
Publisher: Dover Publications (2009)
Binding: Paperback, 240 pages
Image of Pride and Prejudice
Author: Jane Austen
Price: $9.99
Publisher: Tribeca Books (2011)
Binding: Paperback, 256 pages

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Comments

Walden's picture
Walden from Modesto, CA is reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle July 18, 2012 - 9:36am

"But we want to enhance the novels by adding the 'missing' scenes for readers to enjoy." Sure, but I have a feeling that most of the readers will never have read the original work. I say that because, from personal experience, many readers of "Fifty Shades" or "Twilight" had never read anything prior to that. So, is it a good thing that people, mainly young girls and women, are picking up books for the first time even though they are passing up on a chance to read the original classic? I don't know. My wife and I have had this discussion several times.

Jennifer Rubio's picture
Jennifer Rubio July 18, 2012 - 10:08am

Somewhere in my house growing up was a treasury of National Lampoon humor. One of the best articles was an anthology of "If Classic Literature Included Gratuitous Sex Scenes." We all know comedy equals tragedy plus time: apparently reality is comedy plus time, too.

Joan Defers's picture
Joan Defers from United States July 18, 2012 - 10:48am

These better have awesome titles. That's all I've got.

Pretty Spry for a Dead Guy's picture
Pretty Spry for... from I'd prefer it if you didn't know. So would you, only you don't know it. is reading whatever he makes time for this week July 18, 2012 - 11:15am

The whole Holmes/Watson thing is just weird. Apparently Holmes and Watson are both bisexual? I thought Irene Adler was the great unfulfilled love of Holmes's life, and didn't Watson have two wives (in separate marriages at different times, of course)?

I honestly just don't care too much. I've got the original classics on my book shelves. These versions' existences will not change that. I've a feeling these won't prove as popular as the originals, anyway.

lspieller's picture
lspieller from Los Angeles July 18, 2012 - 11:22am

it irritates me that they're calling these "missing scenes." It makes it sound like they have found original material that was removed, and are adding it back in. 

sillygirl's picture
sillygirl from Georgia is reading Infinite Jest, The Chronology of Water July 18, 2012 - 11:35am

Why pay good money for this when you can get all the hot, Regency/ Victorian smut you could ever possibly want for free right over on fanfiction.net? Or even livejournal? I'm just sayin'....

JEFFREY GRANT BARR's picture
JEFFREY GRANT BARR from Central OR is reading Nothing but fucking Shakespeare, for the rest of my life July 18, 2012 - 11:48am

Jesus jumped-up Christ on a pogo stick. The publishing industry is on its way to becoming as morally, ethically and intellectually bankrupt as Hollywood. Publish something new, you fucks.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like July 18, 2012 - 12:16pm

I think it's just easier than having a whole new book written: "We'll take a pulic domain book with a name people might have heard before, put some sex in it and sell it."  Altogether less work than writing a whole new erotic book, right?

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer July 18, 2012 - 12:39pm

I'm with JGB on this one. Can't anyone come up with something new? Hell, what you have here is erotic fiction derived from same idea that created Pride and Prejudice and Zombies combined with the eroticism currently on the market from 50 Shades of Grey, which itself was a bastardization of Twilight.

These books will be so derivitive, that I am pretty sure if you open one, the universe will collapse. Better off just not reading them. You wouldn't want the universe to collapse.

Gypsy-Maria Lorimer's picture
Gypsy-Maria Lorimer from Minnesota is reading Men At Arms by Terry Pratchett July 18, 2012 - 2:04pm

What, seriously?  Is this actually happening?  Okay, I understand maybe using new cover art as a marketing ploy, but to actually insert brand new scenes in classic literature?  Just... I can't even...

And this coming from a Sherlock Holmes/John Watson slash fan.  If I want to read it, I'll go find some fanfiction, thanks.  There's honestly no need to tamper with the original canon.

Mary Naiad Lopez's picture
Mary Naiad Lopez from Miami Fl is reading Lables in the bathroom July 19, 2012 - 1:36pm

I couldn’t agree more with Jeffrey Grant Barr and J. Y. Hopkins.
It is outrageously disappointing that the book industry is morphing into Hollywood for $$$$$$