To read this story or to participate in this writing event, you only need a free account.
You can Login with Facebook or create regular account
To find out what this event is about click here

Hector Acosta's picture

Whores

By Hector Acosta in Scare Us

How It Rates

Voting for this event has ended
Once you have read this story, please make sure you rate it by clicking the thumbs above. Then take a few minutes to give the author a helpful critique! We're all here for fun but let's try to help each other too.

Description

A story about a man and his whores.

Comments

Jane Wiseman's picture
Jane Wiseman from Danville Virginia--now living outside of Albuquerque/in Minneapolis is reading Kindred, by Octavia Butler July 8, 2012 - 8:24am

Sick and funny. Just hilarious, and a fascinating metaphor/fable for the times, too. But mostly, just hilarious. "First the spanking, and then the oral sex!"

Janae Green's picture
Janae Green from the Pacific Northwest is reading Liberty's Excess by Lidia Yuknavitch July 8, 2012 - 11:16am

What a brilliant idea! I love this zombiesque satire. Maybe this suggestion says something about me in relation to your monsters, but I would love to this story taken to "bloodier" lengths. More gross-outs! I would love to see it redder. All of that sex would make a person a bit raw and possibly itchy. Show us these visuals, let us smell the stench of sex in the air. . .

Great idea, great idea, great idea. Bravo on your creativity, Hector!

Andrew Kelly's picture
Andrew Kelly from Florida is reading Kiss the Dead by Laurell K. Hamilton July 8, 2012 - 1:49pm

Yes, very good. I loved that you were able to keep it near the minimum length. There were one or two extra/duplicate-type words that paused me for a second. And, of course, I'm a sucker for background and info-dump related things, so I'd like to know how all the women came to be whores; you have plenty of space to include it. Also, what other abilities do they have...the woman took a bullet and it didn't even phase her.

Caleb Aaron Dobbs's picture
Caleb Aaron Dobbs from Sallisaw, Oklahoma is reading A Game of Thrones July 9, 2012 - 1:58pm

"Whores" relies on graphic sexual shock value, which is not my cup of tea. I can respect the concept and pace however, even if I wouldn't recommend it to my reading circle. This type of genre is not my typical focus, so to be fair my oppinion may be an obscure one.

The women could use backgrounds like Andrew Kelly was saying. It might make the 'dirty' parts more relatable to someone who prefers a slightly more character driven piece.

Jane Wiseman's picture
Jane Wiseman from Danville Virginia--now living outside of Albuquerque/in Minneapolis is reading Kindred, by Octavia Butler July 9, 2012 - 5:21pm

You know, I really don't think the whores need any background. They are metaphorical whores.

Andrew Kelly's picture
Andrew Kelly from Florida is reading Kiss the Dead by Laurell K. Hamilton July 9, 2012 - 6:27pm

Are they? I couldn't tell. I thought that might be the case, but then that would make some scenes make even less sense.

Jane Wiseman's picture
Jane Wiseman from Danville Virginia--now living outside of Albuquerque/in Minneapolis is reading Kindred, by Octavia Butler July 9, 2012 - 7:30pm

I don't know if this is true--Hector can speak to this. But have you ever read "American Psycho"? There are reams of really brutal violent acts, pages and pages of it, and I'm reading it thinking "ugh," but then around p. 180 or so, there's a statement that makes you realize, "oh, this is all a symptom or even a metaphor for the soulless materialistic culture this guy represents." It suddenly all falls into place as satire-- although whether you want to read pages of the bloodiest, most disturbing violence to get there is another thing. I'm thinking this story is a bit like that--except I'm finding it really funny and over-the-top. Here's a guy whose fondest dream has probably always been to find himself beseiged by whores, to have unlimited raunchy sex. Then, when he gets his heart's desire, at first it's great, but the whores just keep coming, wave after relentless wave of them. It becomes not a dream come true, but a nightmare, and they won't stop. You can't kill them! You shoot them, but when you riddle them full of bullet holes, these nightmare whores are not discouraged--they're encouraged. More orifi to fill! Hurray! I find that a really funny way of characterizing a certain type of guy. Anyway, as a result, I think making the whores more like well-rounded characters would be a mistake.

But Hector can call bs on me. I could be totally wrong.

Andrew Kelly's picture
Andrew Kelly from Florida is reading Kiss the Dead by Laurell K. Hamilton July 9, 2012 - 7:43pm

What you're saying makes sense, but in American Psycho there was that line you mentioned that wasn't included here. Also, by your further explanation, they're no longer a metaphor. They are actual 'whores'. Even so, I can agree with your assessment that more well-roundedness isn't necessary, at least with regards to their personalities and character development. However, I would still like to know how they became 'whores', if in fact they are actual 'whores' and not a metaphor.

Jane Wiseman's picture
Jane Wiseman from Danville Virginia--now living outside of Albuquerque/in Minneapolis is reading Kindred, by Octavia Butler July 9, 2012 - 7:52pm

I don't think they're actual whores. All the descriptions seem to be of walking, talking, stereotyped whores. Fantasies of whores that have come alive. But you're right, there's no "satiric norm" the way there is in "American Psycho."

Max Crozier's picture
Max Crozier from Palm Springs is reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice July 10, 2012 - 10:04am

I'll admit i was unsure about the Whores when i first started reading it but you deffinitely made it worth reading. There's something charming in the terrible raunchiness that you described. I think you captured the narrators voice which is what drove it home for me.

I like the reference of the apocalypse. It felt zombie apocalypse but with a twist which were the whores.

I personally feel that i liked the narrator but i didn't truly care when he was meeting his fate (reeping what he'd sewn). But in this case, which to me the story seemed more satirical, you didn't really need it.

Great job!

Jdt672's picture
Jdt672 August 1, 2012 - 11:16pm

Very creative! Love the satire.

Sancho LeStache's picture
Sancho LeStache from El Paso is reading Hunger August 7, 2012 - 9:53am

It was like Charles Bukowski wrote and episode of the Twighlight Zone for David Lynch to direct. I don't even care if you didn't follow the death or hometown criteria thing, this was super fun.

Robert Blake's picture
Robert Blake from Glasgow originally, last wee while Manchester is reading The Sea Hawk (Rafael Sabatini) August 9, 2012 - 12:02am

Well, that was different. Too much of a good thing. depending on your opinions about sex workers, but these were definitely "fantasy" characters as opposed to real working girls.

You missed one opportunity there, with the air conditioner. I know you used it for the break down of blunt sexual metaphor, but air conditioner --- cold  --- effects on body parts?

The story did take a different direction from that I initially expected, I enjoyed it and it's definitely a weird plague.

OK, I had better go now and explain to my wife why I was reading a story called "Whores"

TigersMS's picture
TigersMS from Australia is reading House of Leaves August 14, 2012 - 7:58pm

Trying to stifle the laughs sitting at my desk at work whilst I read this is nigh on impossible, this is so very funny.

A horror satire from beginning to end, a pile up of the sexualised society we live in. Like the Futurama episode - Death by Snoo Snoo!

I throughly enjoyed this. A pitch (black) perfect satire all tied up within 1600 words! Awesome.