Preacher Tom

You were very close to a thumbs down after that ending, but the strength of the opening saved you.  You did a good job building atmosphere and characterization, but it ended with a whimper.  I wanted more of a fight with preacher Tom.  More description of how he escaped.  More of a reaction from the community.  You build up how important he is to the town, but there's no fallout.  No residual fear that he might come back and fill the hole he left.  Still, great build-up.  Just try to follow through on it.

I was on the fence here to be honest. What I most liked was the kind of "Goonies" feel going with the kids being very proactive in the mystery. I liked a lot of your descriptions about the town and some of the things you said, esp. about how as a kid, you'd think it was the same thing people going to church out of obligation vs. them going because they had to. Really good unspoken truth there. Where the problems seem to arise are in the end, and with the revelation of the monster. You did start to hint at his motivation, which had an intriguing, sinister quality--the thing about wanting the girl not for who she is, but what she's to become. I think exploring more of that would give the monster a scope and dimension and evil that's beyond a kind of boogie-man thing. The ending also feels a bit abrupt, though I'm sure on a next draft you could flesh that out. I like the relationship the two kids have. The monster needs a little beefing up. I certainly dug the effort.