To read this story or to participate in this writing event, you only need a free account.
You can Login with Facebook or create regular account
To find out what this event is about click here

Grant Matthew Frazier's picture


By Grant Matthew F... in Scare Us

How It Rates

Voting for this event has ended
Once you have read this story, please make sure you rate it by clicking the thumbs above. Then take a few minutes to give the author a helpful critique! We're all here for fun but let's try to help each other too.


The creature only wants to get home. Its faverite possession under arm, chased by the pesky humans upset with the creatures last meal. Oh, how mother will be furious.


Emma C's picture
Class Facilitator
Emma C from Los Angeles is reading Black Spire by Delilah Dawson July 18, 2012 - 9:44pm

I'm a huge fan of Beowulf and this definitely had that vibe while remaining its own unique story. I love the concept of the monster's mother, and this mother was a nice surprise. The anthropomorphism of Dolly was a sweet and funny touch, as were your descriptions of her decay and the monster's very childlike qualities. 

Now I know what it's like to eat an eyeball, too.

You have some spelling issues to address, but nothing major.


Jane Wiseman's picture
Jane Wiseman from living outside of Albuquerque/in Minneapolis is reading Look to Windward by Iain M. Banks July 19, 2012 - 7:59am

I love this story. As a reader encountering phrase after wonderful phrase, I felt like a kid unwrapping presents. The teeth like icicles on a ledge, the furry little animals there to keep all the children of the world warm, and on and on, too many to mention. For once, the gore was part of the story, used to characterize, and not just tacked on for shock value. I second what the preceding commenter said about Beowulf, too. Grendel, call your agent! Loved it.

Ian's picture
Ian from Texas is reading Low Down Death Right Easy by J. David Osborne July 20, 2012 - 12:59pm

I can't get the link to work. Just a page full of gibberish. Would love to read this.

Grant Matthew Frazier's picture
Grant Matthew F... from Boulder,Co is reading The Great and Secret Show July 20, 2012 - 11:50pm

Im sorry to hear that. I have contacted the site.


Ethan Cooper's picture
Ethan Cooper from Longview, TX is reading The Kill Room, Heart-Shaped Box, Dr. Sleep July 20, 2012 - 9:46pm

Well, I'm certainly not hungry anymore.

This story reads like a nightmare. The most grotesque and disturbing I've read of these so far. If your goal was to gross out your reader and leave them with a feeling of ickiness, then mission accomplished!

I think I wanted to see more of a point/plot to the story. It really feels like the introduction to a much longer novel, so when it was done, I felt a little incomplete. Certainly disgusted though. :)

Casey Whitlatch-Carter's picture
Casey Whitlatch... July 21, 2012 - 1:13am

Ah, the imagery.  I have to agree with Jane, the whole story is peppered with lovely descriptions and phrasing, each very vivid and memorable.  The concept of a child (beast) preying on children for their companionship, but succumbing to its monstrous tendencies even in relation to its beloved toy, adds a piquancy that I quite enjoy.  Thanks for sharing.  :D

franniebeanus's picture
franniebeanus July 24, 2012 - 2:58pm

It seems, to some degree, that you opened the door for the Roald Dahl's BFG to let loose and get down.  However, unlike Dahl, the author uses adjectives to pull the reader into the murky myriad of a gruesome journey instead of childlike prose.  This story reflects the careful eye and observant nature of an author with an unyeilding desire to explore the grit and gristle of horror to the fullest! Keep it coming!

Ian's picture
Ian from Texas is reading Low Down Death Right Easy by J. David Osborne July 25, 2012 - 10:26pm

Great job with this. Dark, dark, dark and truly disgusting. You're descriptions are well crafted and terribly effective. As someone has already pointed out, the gore and the detail used actually add something to the story, as opposed to using the same for shock value or just to create cheap gross out scenes. As a reader who's never cared much for gore, I think it worked really well here.

The story itself did feel like it was a part of something larger or maybe even an introduction to something else you're working on. But this only occurred to me after I finished. I didn't really care while reading the story. 

And then there's Dolly... Creepy and yet completely relatable. Dolly is horrifying and the way what's left of her is used is equally disturbing. And yet you end up feeling for the monster. Perfect.