Hector Acosta's picture
Hector Acosta from Dallas is reading Fletch July 2, 2012 - 7:30pm

Or I guess nowadays, a better way to say that would be "dictionary.com defines.."

Anyways, hi, I'm Hector, I write, but not as much as I really should.

I been on the lookout of a good critique group/site for a while now, and from what I seen here, I'm hopeful for this place here.

I generally tend to write hardboiled stuff, but I'm making a concentrated effort to branch out of that, hopefully you guys will get to read those branches.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig July 2, 2012 - 7:52pm

Hello and welcome. There's a whole process, there will be graphics posted, and odd welcomes, and eventually the thread will devolve into dirty jokes.

CuriousityAndTheCat's picture
CuriousityAndTheCat from a town much further south than where I live now is reading everything I can get my hands on July 2, 2012 - 9:18pm

What she said...and welcome :)

odysseusonthestyx's picture
odysseusonthestyx from The land down-under... is reading The Illuminatus Trilogy - Robert Shea & Robert Anton Wilson July 2, 2012 - 11:49pm

Ooh, being new myself I look forward to the inevitable decent into smutty tomfoolery!  :D

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 4:39am

Welcome.  I've arrived, let the decent begin.

But really.  You'll like it here.  Join the workshop, if you haven't already, and you'll get all the advice you never wanted.  At first, you'll get mad about it.  Because you'll assume we are all assholes and lunatics who know nothing.  Then, as you let it sink in, the advice will start to make sense.  The final step involves some voodoo. 

 

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 4:46am

Hey Hector, get ready to feel our welcomes all over your face.  You have found the right place for a group that will critique you, lets start now.  I love the name Hector Acosta, it just sounds manly. There, you're critiqued, and you're welcome.

Matt will be here soon to leave you a funny picture.  What this picture means is that you have taken the first step in a long journey.  You will need to print a copy of that picture and use it to get in to our Thursday night Zumba class/trust falls seminar.  There will be punch and pie.

Hopefully, after that, if we get our shit together, you will get an official welcome pic.  I wish I had more to say about that but I don't know who does that anymore. Somebody, anybody, step up here.

Last one to welcome has to eat the cookie.

Sincerely

Dr. Christopher Meloni Maltisante Columbus Kristopherson Davis

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 4:50am

LOL Zumba. I also like how your name is getting more elaborate. 

 

 

Here's a two-for-Tuesday bonus picture! 

 

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that July 3, 2012 - 5:11am

Thursday night Zumba class/trust falls seminar

You know the first rule: no one talks about Thursday night Zumba.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 6:11am

"Hopefully, after that, if we get our shit together, you will get an official welcome pic.  I wish I had more to say about that but I don't know who does that anymore. Somebody, anybody, step up here."

The history of the welcome meme:

Once, long ago, in this very forum, there was a mysterious user known as "Dave".  He seemed to only show up in introduction threads, however, if you talked about him in a different thread, he would occasionally show up there as if summoned.  It was mostly creepy. 

One day, I think it was around the time was scared off (or annoyed) the infamous Linton Robinson, Dave created what is now known as the "official welcome meme".  It was pretty crappy, but Kirk was kind enough to supply a high resolution version of the LitReactor logo and the image you see today was born.  Dave was now our official greeter and the town's folk rejoiced. 

Then, because I'm so cute, I decided to swipe the meme and post it myself.  But being the kind and benevolent greeter that Dave is, he allowed it.  This created an issue for me, because I didn't actually much like greeting people.  But it seemed to work out.

Alas, nothing lasts forever.  Our official greeter is MIA at the moment and I feel a little guilty stealing his job while he's gone.  Also, I don't like doing it. I have to log into photobucket, find the picture, it's a whole thing. 

I was going to post it here at the end, but see, I'm so lazy I don't even want to go find it, even though I had planned on doing it.  So, see? 

The point is...well...I forget.  Goodnight and good luck.

Hector Acosta's picture
Hector Acosta from Dallas is reading Fletch July 3, 2012 - 8:39am

Thanks everyone for the warm and picture filled welcome.

And I find myself fascinated by the welcome picture meme. Perhaps I'll write a story about it that'll be turned into a movie starring Nic Cage. Cause really, as writers, isn't that all our goal?

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from El Cerrito, CA (originally), now Fort Worth, TX is reading The San Veneficio Canon - Michael Cisco, The Croning - Laird Barron, By the Time We Leave Here, We'll Be Friends - J. David Osborne July 3, 2012 - 8:40am

You forget the part where Dave never welcomed me, pissed me off, and became my nemesis.

So I was thinking, you know, screw Davery, I'll just post the pic myself, but even after finding the address for it, I can't get it to load. So instead I'll just say "Welcome!" to Hector Acosta, who does indeed have such a manly name that I offer him this picture of not one but two cylindrical objects spewing white stuff.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 8:44am

The point is...well...I forget.  Goodnight and good luck."

 

We need a new greeter AND meme dropper. I nominate Chris. His greatness is obvious to all alike. Not to mention stroking my ego consistently in welcomes. Among other things. 

 

WHO WILL SECOND! 

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that July 3, 2012 - 8:46am

Since Davery are "having a little come apart now" I went ahead and made you a welcome meme. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 8:46am

YES! We have a winner. Fuck off Chris. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 8:49am

@Gary - that made me smile. 

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from El Cerrito, CA (originally), now Fort Worth, TX is reading The San Veneficio Canon - Michael Cisco, The Croning - Laird Barron, By the Time We Leave Here, We'll Be Friends - J. David Osborne July 3, 2012 - 8:50am

Yeah, that's a winner. Gary's got my vote. As if this thing was a democracy.

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that July 3, 2012 - 8:58am

I've already forgotten what we were talking about.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:01am

Well if Gary isn't the official greeter. Fuck off Chris  We love Chris! 

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that July 3, 2012 - 9:07am

Fuck YAY Chris!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:15am

@Hector - see how this is no longer about you?  Sorry.

 

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 9:34am

I can never get the picture to load properly.

Besides, if I'm posting the picture I can't very well pre-warn about said picture.  This would cut out the welcome post that strokes Matt's ego.  We need a separate meme dropper who knows not to post until after I have given the rundown. 

We need to have rules, this isn't 'nam.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:34am

Fuck  It's cool Chris! 

 

Well who else? 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:34am

Just let it die, friends. 

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 9:35am

Check with Jacks, he's done it before.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:36am

I could get down with Dakota. I REFUSE TO LET THIS DIE! To give up on this, is to give up on Dave. NEVER! 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:38am

But if you replace him, isn't that the same as giving up on him?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:39am

No. The person replacing will sit on the welcome throne until he returns. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:40am

This is dumb.  I'm going to get angry and post mean hate-filled welcome memes again. 

Look, if someone has to do it, I'll do it.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:42am

Use the new one. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:44am

No, fuck off.  If I'm going to do it, I'll do it properly.  Now just everyone be cool and shut up about it.

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 9:47am

Thank you Avery

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:48am

I hate every single one of you. 

You're welcome.

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:47am

LOL @ Chris. Oh c'mon Jessica! 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:49am

Guess who died? I'm kind of sad now. 

 

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 9:49am

How do you do the edit where the line goes through the original words?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:53am

Look at the tool bar.  Where you can make text bold, underlined, and crossed out is next to that. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:53am

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that July 3, 2012 - 9:53am

Why does it taste like hate in here?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 9:54am

We have totally ruined this thread. 

 

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 9:56am

I was using the right button for pictures, it just wouldn't stop giving me an error.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 9:56am

If I get in trouble over this I'm going to throw a rage fit like the world has never seen.  The papers clearly stated that I get the forums, and he gets the memes.  Which in hindsight doesn't make a lot of sense, but whatever.  It is what it is. 

Okay, back to work.

underpurplemoon's picture
underpurplemoon from PDX July 3, 2012 - 9:58am

Chris, there's and "abc" button with a line through them.

See?

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 3, 2012 - 9:58am

I think its fine that we ruined a welcome thread trying to figure out how to welcome people.

Hector doesn't mind, do you Hector?

See, Hectors cool like that.

underpurplemoon's picture
underpurplemoon from PDX July 3, 2012 - 10:00am

Hector! Welcome! Sorry for the late welcome. I was very amused starting with the title of this introduction.

Yes, I think Hector is cool with all this.

Hector Acosta's picture
Hector Acosta from Dallas is reading Fletch July 3, 2012 - 11:06am

I'll be honest, I'm sort of scared by this thread and have been contemplating setting it on fire. You're all just lucky I can't get my zippo to fit through my internet tube.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 11:10am

contemplating setting it on fire."

You're perfect. 

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that July 3, 2012 - 11:17am

I think this is one our more successful threads.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 11:18am

I have seen intro threads way worse than this. It's on par though. 

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from El Cerrito, CA (originally), now Fort Worth, TX is reading The San Veneficio Canon - Michael Cisco, The Croning - Laird Barron, By the Time We Leave Here, We'll Be Friends - J. David Osborne July 3, 2012 - 11:21am

Just don't set the turkeys on fire. They're flammable.

... why do I reference that so much? I'm not even sure I posted in the fucking thread.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 3, 2012 - 12:23pm

Because it was beautiful.  It was a beautiful, beautiful thing and everyone should think about it.

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 3, 2012 - 12:25pm

Because it was beautiful.  It was a beautiful, beautiful thing and everyone should think about it."

He'll be back. There will be other pointless debates.