Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series October 4, 2011 - 7:01pm

Anyone have super a super short story to share? I'm having a great time reading all the stuff you guys/gals have up here, and I just found a story I wrote many years ago while skipping work to do emergency laundry when not one, but TWO cats pissed on my brand new duvet. It has nothing to do with the story, but I can't read this again without thinking about how annoying that morning was.

Anyway, it's not going to win any Nobel prize, but it makes me smirk.

 

A Short (Somewhat Erotic) Story

 


She was the kind of girl who'd make you buy her dinner before she'd even kiss you.

He knew how to fuck.

First impressions can be deceiving.

On leaving the bar, she put on a long tartan coat with a fake fur collar, and a scarf that dragged on the ground even after being looped around twice. Her nose was sharp, well defined, especially for an asian girl, and a little too big for her face.

He didn't mind though, she was taking him home.

They walked about 3 feet apart, each on opposite sides of the sidewalk. They didn't speak, just walked, smoking cigarettes. He wondered how she managed to smoke with both her hands jammed in her pockets. She wondered how he left the house with his hair looking like that.

Her black eyes stared out at him from between her bangs and  the tops of her plastic eyeglass frames. A smile passed quickly on her thin pink lips and she grabbed his hand, pulling him into a nondescript apartment block.

Upstairs she disappeared into a tiny bathroom, leaving him trying to keep his hands busy rolling up her ridiculous scarf. When she emerged (still, disappointingly, wearing the same yellow dress shirt and brown trousers) she opened another door and told him to follow.

She lay on the bed and smiled at him. He thought this was a bit creepy, but nonetheless, a girl's a girl, creepy or not.

He unbuttoned her blouse, and was happy to find that regardless of her outward fashion sense, she was housing a good rack in a gorgeous red brassiere. Upon removing the bra, he found she had what could have easily passed for the best tits he'd ever seen. She unbuckled his belt with a single motion. He reciprocated.

Plain white cotton panties were his favourite, and she wore them well. She slid out of them and he paused to look her over. That was when he saw it. a small tattoo, just below where her pubic hair should have been. He leaned in to read it. "L'Ordinateur". This was, he was hoping some foreign equivalent of a welcome mat. Sometimes assumption is a beautiful thing.

"What's this?" He made the first mistake.

"It's a tattoo."

"But what does it say?"

"L'Ordinateur."

"In English?"

"It means "The Computer."

"Computer? are you serious?"

"Yes."

"I don't get it, why would you have the word "computer" tattooed on your twat?"

"You know, its not only men that think with their genitals."

By this stage, he'd nearly forgotten she was naked.

She rolled her eyes and kissed him. He stared at her crotch, brow furrowed, but tried to forget about it.

She mumbled something in his ear.

"What did you say?" Second mistake.

"I said I want you to ram me.... Ram me with your big hard drive!"

"What the fuck?"

"Reboot me!! Oh God please Reboot me!"

"You want me to put my shoe in there?"

Around this time she asked him to leave. He did. Without question.

She stayed in bed and finished her system upgrades with a high powered high tech man-replacement, and wondered whatever happened to the good men.

 

Anthony David Jacques's picture
Anthony David J... from The Internet is reading two or three books at once. October 4, 2011 - 7:03pm

My favorite very short story by, I believe, Hemmingway.

For sale. Baby shoes. Never used. 

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore October 4, 2011 - 7:25pm

I tweet these whenever I come up with one (hashtag #vss). Microfiction, hint fiction, whatever you want to call it. Anyway, I compiled a bunch of them in a page on my site, and here are a few of my faves:

 

Being born again proved a death sentence for the former child actor who portrayed Jesus.

 

As the machine breathed on his behalf, she kissed his stitched brow and straightened her tube top for another night’s work.

 

He spent the entire morning in his cubicle wondering how secure those knots had really been.

 

And the most succint story anyone could ever write: "Shit happened."

 

Mike Mckay's picture
Mike Mckay is reading God's Ashtray October 5, 2011 - 12:28am

Wrote this when I was a wee lad. It was around Halloween.

She waits-

Deep within the forest you can hear her whimper,
Out in the darkness you can see her gleam,
She wanders beneath the pale moonlight,
Shadowed by her fellow trees,
When the hour comes it's time to run,
She's watching you now,
You're soon to come,
Avoid looking in her eyes when it's time,
Just pray she has gone away,
Don’t fret against her will,
Her breath calls your name,
What will you do,
When her steps get closer,
And the air turns frozen,
What will you do,
When she comes for you.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books October 10, 2011 - 9:07pm

That Hemingway one is my favorite short-short as well. So few words, but so incredibly moving in a hundred different ways. I just participated in Esquire's short short fiction contest, and I think what I wrote was pretty awesome, but I am waiting to hear about finalists. When I find out I didn't make it, I will be sure to post it here. ;)