Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 8:55am

@h.i. - A little from column A, a little from B. 

H.I.Marcuson's picture
H.I.Marcuson from Toulouse is reading a book on spelling November 27, 2012 - 9:02am

Fer gods sake J Y follow the thread!

must stop drinking.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like November 27, 2012 - 9:05am

Who said that? Is that a fox or a mouse?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 9:16am

I feel like CCR was ruined by the countless Vietnam, or 'Nam' movies out there. Fucking Hollywood. 

 

Totally unrelated side note to a totally unrelated post, this is what I'm listening to now. I think his best work is about being constipated. 

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 9:36am

I may write a new story. It may be the nicotine withdraw, but I don't know......

H.I.Marcuson's picture
H.I.Marcuson from Toulouse is reading a book on spelling November 27, 2012 - 9:38am

Its a rat! A badass rat!  Damn you J Y...  I now have avatar insecurity.

I thought of a game. You post, you do a shot... Or perhaps I should stop posting from the pub.

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines November 27, 2012 - 9:45am

Let me get this straight: H.I. Marcuson is a black scottish jew living in France? That is the eHarmony jackpot right there. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 27, 2012 - 9:48am

H.I., we'd like you to tell us a little bit about the most influential person in your life.  Who are they?  Why are they?

H.I.Marcuson's picture
H.I.Marcuson from Toulouse is reading a book on spelling November 27, 2012 - 9:55am

2 outta 3 aint bad baby.  :)   And thats easy. Joey Tribiani and Forrest Gump. Without a doubt the two people I admire most in the world, even if they are fictional. Why should be obvious. And all of you?....

 

Damn, battery dyin just when it was getting interesting.

Sound's picture
Sound from Azusa, CA is reading Greener Pastures by Michael Wehunt November 27, 2012 - 9:57am

My story has morphed two times. If I keep it as is it, it will be completely different from my round one..

wickedvoodoo's picture
wickedvoodoo from Mansfield, England is reading stuff. November 27, 2012 - 10:04am

HEY - all you guys singing Duotropes praises.

Buy this. Seriously. You should buy it. It is full of authors that are in WAR, and we are going to donate to duotrope out of the proceeds.

wickedvoodoo's picture
wickedvoodoo from Mansfield, England is reading stuff. November 27, 2012 - 10:04am

It's only $3. You cannot lose.

TomorrowHill's picture
TomorrowHill from Newfoundland, Canada is reading your mind. You like Castlevania, don't you? November 27, 2012 - 10:48am

True enough, Nova Parade is a fantastic collection, and it features some of the best short fiction I've read all year. Three bucks is practically stealing. STEALING!  

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters November 27, 2012 - 10:50am

I already bought it!!  :D 

I'm a helper!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 27, 2012 - 10:51am

The reason TomorrowHill (Chris Carter) is even in WAR is his amazing story in Nova Parade.  Seriously.  It's fucking cool and is the first scary short I've read in years.

You heard me.  Chris Carter's shorts are scary.

I have pictures.

PM if interested.

TomorrowHill's picture
TomorrowHill from Newfoundland, Canada is reading your mind. You like Castlevania, don't you? November 27, 2012 - 11:07am

Haha, thanks, Utah. The secret is the strategically-cut holes. They leave nothing to the imagination.

Nothing. 

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter November 27, 2012 - 11:39am

@Utah: Pictures of the bricks you shat out?

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 27, 2012 - 12:15pm

Don't be silly.  Nobody would buy pictures of bricks.

Unless they look like this:

 

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore November 27, 2012 - 1:59pm

What, no one's gonna jump on the easy "bricklayer" joke??

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 27, 2012 - 1:59pm

You can lead a horse to water...

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore November 27, 2012 - 2:12pm

You can lead a horticulture … but you can't make her think.

*ducks flying tomatoes*

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters November 27, 2012 - 2:14pm

Dorothy Parker! 

right?

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 27, 2012 - 2:29pm

I read that on in this huge collection of jokes by Isaac Asimov.  Classic and wonderful.  Thank you, Mr. Highland.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters November 27, 2012 - 2:32pm

Isaac Asimov

My gram-gram loved him.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig November 27, 2012 - 3:17pm

Part of me is crestfallen that my only contribution to the world is a vague blasphemous simile. It is pretty good though.

My contribution was...

 

 

SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The other day we saw a trailer for Hotel Transylvania, and I said "I didn't know Steve Buscemi was in that!" and HusBANG (because he is awesome) shouted SURPRISE!!!

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig November 27, 2012 - 3:17pm

And yes, that is a twofer. Surprise Steve Buscemi and a Buscemi face palm. Together. Where they belong.

R.Moon's picture
R.Moon from The City of Champions is reading The Last Thing He Wanted by Joan Didion; Story Structure Architect by Victoria Lynn Schimdt PH.D; Creating Characters by the editors of Writer's Digest November 27, 2012 - 3:24pm

Mr. Pink rocks!

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 3:36pm

@Renee- you know I heart you. 

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 3:41pm

I had an idea about my story. Actually I stole it. Actually I didn't steal it, it was more...'Oh Ok' Actually it was more like, yes, YES, YES! That's what I need. The only caveat is, I have to rewrite the whole thing. Which means it'll be done in two hours. 

 

It will be brilliant. @Mat

 

 

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies November 27, 2012 - 3:47pm

somebody send me some literary viagra. i've got nothing. still.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 3:58pm

@Richard- start writing by using your prompt as the first sentence, then write whatever sentence you think would sequentially follow it and so on. Also try some simple breathing exercising before beginning to clear the critical part of the mind. It helps, believe me. 

 

Ta- da! There's your story. Although, I'm not sure why you need help! If it wasn't for the help you've given me in the past I wouldn't even have stuff in print! 

 

I literally just started a complete rewrite of mine and I am....2 pages in. Be worried Mat. Be worried. I am actually excited about it now. 

SConley's picture
SConley from Texas is reading Coin Locker Babies November 27, 2012 - 4:09pm

I'm struggling with my story but the resolutions to my problems come to me in time. I've almost written myself into a corner a couple of times. It's all in the execution though.

Sound's picture
Sound from Azusa, CA is reading Greener Pastures by Michael Wehunt November 27, 2012 - 4:10pm

I'm not really worried. Do I need to show you what your slow death will look like? Again?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 4:16pm

I swear to GOD if I go through another tie scenario I will kill....somebody. I mean you have misplace your anger somehow. I started at 5:41 EST. 

 

Pages 5
Words 929

Stratton's picture
Stratton from Phoenix November 27, 2012 - 4:20pm

This is awesome. How do I get in the next WAR? Or is it still possible to sneak into this one?

JEFFREY GRANT BARR's picture
JEFFREY GRANT BARR from Central OR is reading Nothing but fucking Shakespeare, for the rest of my life November 27, 2012 - 4:21pm

If you have to destroy something to redirect your anger, might I suggest a Mat*? There are hundreds of them running around here, and quite frankly, it's becoming a problem.

It's a Matfestation!

SConley's picture
SConley from Texas is reading Coin Locker Babies November 27, 2012 - 4:26pm

I'm not really worried. Do I need to show you what your slow death will look like? Again?

I definitely don't want to go through that again. My girlfriend was getting mad at me, i was checking our poll so often.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner November 27, 2012 - 4:37pm

And done. I think there are four Mat(t)s at last count. 

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines November 27, 2012 - 6:06pm

@stratton: There is still hope! People drop out and we need alternates; Utah or Avery can hook you up with the details of the next opening.

 

ps if your first name is Matt, you're a shoe in. 

 

Bill Tucker's picture
Bill Tucker from Austin, Texas is reading Grimm's Fairy Tales (1st Edition) November 27, 2012 - 6:18pm

Belated congrats to Fritz!  Publication stories like that make what to try and do so.  My problem is nothing is ever "done enough".  Either that or I'm a weenie.  Probably the latter.

Also, I do belive TomorrowHill's avatar is a Fallout reference.  If so, well played.  I'm five hours into Fallout 3 and it's an ungodly time sink from which I'll never rise from.  And it's brilliant.

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons November 27, 2012 - 8:19pm

So who is Otis the Bulldog up against? I don't see a name.

Jonathan Riley's picture
Jonathan Riley from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland November 28, 2012 - 11:05am

@Cove J.Y. stepped in as an alternate against Otis.

*edit*

OtisTheBulldog's picture
OtisTheBulldog from Somerville, MA is reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz November 27, 2012 - 9:09pm

Yep, J.Y. stepped up. And I have my first draft done. Beating the guy at his own game - I'm also writing a story about a family with kids and no conflict and an even happier ending.

Check and mate.

I'm guessing round these parts, we'll split the matchup vote and probably tie for BAS.

Liana's picture
Liana from Romania and Texas is reading Naked Lunch November 27, 2012 - 10:16pm

I got 300 words! Can I submit it as is?

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks November 28, 2012 - 12:06am

I was thinking the other day about how cool it would be to see a battle where someone did a normal-length story and another submitted a crazy short flash. Do it!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry November 28, 2012 - 6:40am

That's kinda the Chester way to roll.  So we could have seen several matchups like that (because he's a monster at it and would have gone an easy three rounds in the Northern Bracket and then dominated in The Pit).  But Chester is a weenie and quit on us.  Actually, Chester had very important life things to take care of.  But I'll still call him a weenie.

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies November 28, 2012 - 8:25am

thanks, @mattattack. yeah, we all get blocked. i'll try your exercise. i'm starting to get desperate, freaking out. i'm sure i'll find it, but dammit, it's frustrating.

TomorrowHill's picture
TomorrowHill from Newfoundland, Canada is reading your mind. You like Castlevania, don't you? November 28, 2012 - 8:30am

@Bill: You nailed it :) Fallout 3 is my favorite game of all-time, and I've been using Vault Boy as my avatar for years. To this day, I find myself humming songs from the soundtrack. It's not perfect by any means, but it's such an immersive setting and experience that I couldn't stop playing until I'd seen everything.

In other news, I've just finished my Round 2 story. Dino, imagine the worst thing anyone has ever said to you, and pretend I'm saying it to you right now. Boom. Trash-talking, complete.

TomorrowHill's picture
TomorrowHill from Newfoundland, Canada is reading your mind. You like Castlevania, don't you? November 28, 2012 - 8:35am

@Richard: I've always assumed you have an entire filing cabinet full of finished stories that can fit any potential prompt. "Let's see... a child is possessed by the devil... a chimpanzee is possessed by the devil... a chimpanzee is possessed by a child... A-ha! The devil is possessed by a chimpanzee! Perfect!" :) 

H.I.Marcuson's picture
H.I.Marcuson from Toulouse is reading a book on spelling November 28, 2012 - 9:15am

You stole my chimp idea. You kick my ass into the pit, and now you steal my idea! You are an evil banana peel man TomorrowHill Get out of my head.