I'm writing a book called This Priest is Hot! Its about a priest called Father MacMurphy whose got a big schlong. He gets into a fight with a preacher whose got a littler schlong and they both have a fight in a mud pit.
The book will be like Snuff like Chuck mixed ina blender with Kickass.
Is it bizarro
no its a normal book
Do you plan to use punctuation and proper spelling, or is it all about the dicks?
Spelling and punctuation is for the nerds. Im all about the storie. The storie is whats important to the minimalist technician.
Nice try, Bradley Sands!
Too much detail is a detraction. Thats why my stories are set in bars and train stations and diners cause everybody knows what those places look like. I want the reader to do the work. I dont want to put in detail and I want the reader to do more work then me.
Can we see a sample?
Let me put on a sample from THE JISM OF GOD, my book 2. Im starting a new thread on THE JISM OF GOD.
NOT ME
Edit
Dude seems to be trolling Tietz. Possibly the same guy Tietz called out before.
^^ Ahh. I knew it was trolling, but had no context for it. Makes sense now.
Wow that's a really shitty troll being that Brandon's book is really, really good. It's one of the few novels I read this year (beta) that I have personally championed. And I didn't "get" this "joke".
Reading the other thread I can see that "Jacob" has read The Fashion of The Christ, which is honestly the best troll ever, since that means he paid for it.
Sorry, it's not me either. I don't have a clue who it could be.
Oh! Do we get a Holy Procrastination Season troll? Nice!
So, holding on till next year for something original again.
I want to read both This Priest Is Hot! and The Jism of God. Jacob C appears to be an up and cumming writer, and I look forward to his continued trolling posting. It's these posts that make LitReactor fun.
@Jacob C - will these be released any time soon?
It's these posts that make LitReactor fun.
True. But I was hoping not to find real distraction here before next week. I still have a couple scenes to write, and it's nasty ones so I was sort of looking for distraction but not really LOOKING for distraction. More like a short, temporary form of distraction before the official, socially accepted, global procrastination time distraction.
Priests with schlongs can quickly escalate and become overwhelming distraction.
Sex is just like pizza: You can have it delivered, order it to-go, or eat it right in the fucking restaurant, dude.
Wait, I just found out this thing and I am amazed. Conley? Fo' real?
Dude, Egmont was my favorite character I've read so far on this site! He's even better that the Rosie ODonnell version of me, and (s)he's pretty friggin awesome.
I'm telling you, it's not me. I had a couple of alts a few years ago and they weren't even in the thread Brandon made and they weren't at Litreactor. There were several people doing it too, not just me. That's why i have no clue who this could be and i don't really care. I don't like taking all of the blame for the actions of several people but they're my friends so i'm not naming any names from those days. I don't feel like having Brandon harrassing me and my girlfriend again, she got pretty mad at me about this whole thing. It's not me.
Okay - for the record:
There is no evidence at all connecting Conley to this person. So let's not burn him or anything.
Go about your business, folks.
If you don't like the thread keep your noses somewhere else. If you do like the thread, enjoy it!
Word, yo. This is unfortunate, because I only just now found out about all the previous hoopla, so I didn't get the chance to see the other thing before it was disappeared. And so my comment was based solely on hints and rumors from elsewhere, and in my sudden curiosity about the identity of our mysterious Mr. C.
Of course, if it's not the artist formerly known as Egmont, I have my suspicions.
I confess...it's me.
I am also Laurance Kitts, Brandon Tietz, aliensoul77, Courtney, and Chuck Palahniuk.
You certainly write like Chuck Palahniuk.
As do we all.
Sex is like pizza: When its' hella moldy, its' real bad.
Sean, you're a busy man!
[insert pervy joke here]
Sex is like pizza: Rats like to eat it.
Sex is like pizza: thick or thin, you'll get some at Papa John's.
(are we allowed to play too?)
Sex is like pizza, thirty minutes or it's free?
Sex is like pizza: If you buy two slices, you get a Pepsi for free.
Sex is like pizza: and I woke in a puddle of cheesy vomit in the alley behind little caesar's.
Sex is like pizza: It's really never any good.
Sex is like pizza: if you don't burn the roof of your mouth, you're not doing it right.
Sex is like pizza: I'm perfectly happy with the frozen kind.
Sex is like pizza: when real tasty it's Italian.
HA!
But when you just can't quite convince it that it's over, and it keeps calling and driving by your house late at night...it's Umbrian.
and it keeps calling and driving by your house late at night...it's Umbrian.
wearing a huge possum head mask? Yes, it is!
wearing a huge possum head mask? Yes, it is!
I WONDERED ABOUT THAT!
it makes me look all dark and mysterious, does it?
Sex is like pizza: mine is supreme.
Sex is like pizza: You can get m both at Taco Bell. Totes magotes.
Sex is nothing like pizza: because I always order my pizza flat and without animal products.
Sex is like pizza: The priest will serves them to you thin-crust or deep-dish. Whatev you wish. Totes magotes.
By the way are u a Aussi milf or a Kiwi milf?
A Kiwi milf is a milf that comes from the capital of Australia, which is New Zealand.
A Aussi milf is a milf that comes from anywhere else in the country of Australia.
A Kiwi milf is a milf that comes from the capital of Australia, which is New Zealand.
People are askin me for a sampling of my first book which is called This Priest is Hot!
Here is a sampling of my first book which is called This Priest is Hot!
PORTLAND, OR
“That’s the way the cookie crumbles when it all comes down to it.”
Father MacMurphy is putting on some panties and a bra, too big for his priest boobs. He’s been through lots, and he displays his ballpark figures and badges of honor like a bull in a china shop as he puts on some panties and a bra. He takes the bull by the horns. He puts on the one first and then he puts on the other one. The scars are very physical and you can see the physical cigarette burns where he’s been burned. Up and then also down. He’s got crows feet and some balding too. He is an old dude priest who likes to dress up like a transsexual. The bra is black like his priest uniform but the panties are white which is not the kind of panties that I’d choose if I was the priest.
I ask the old priest, “do you know where your obsession with woman clothing comes from, priest?”
Black represents Evil, and white represents Good. You prolly don’t know that. The priest bequeaths these attributes to the lingerie that he puts on his flabs. His clothes are sacred and holy and purely sacramental and sacrosanct to. They all came from the lingerie store in Portland, OR on Western Ave, bestowed with good holiness and holy virtue for the flock of the world.
To Father MacMurphy I give a back rub and a massage and see that he is baldish and balding. “Jesus was a virgin who wears a push-up bra the day he married Cleopatra.” Father MacMurphy looks at me disingenuously.
Father MacMurphy lays on the hotel room bed and pushes his panties aside and shows me his mushroom button. Small. Ugly. Like a mushroom.
Fumes of disease are railroading from the microwave oven in the bathroom. They are fumes of pizza, which is like sex. Pizza with mushroom. Sex is like pizza: It always costs $12.75 when your with a transvestite priest.
Part of me hopes this is one of the staff getting made at us.
