Cartersdaddy's picture
Cartersdaddy from Pennsylvania is reading Room March 10, 2012 - 3:34pm

Hello Everyone. My name is Matt and, as the title says, I am actually at work right now bored to death and dreaming of the day I can live in some house where my desk faces water and not a hospital lobby. I stumbled on this site after being a fan of the Cult for a long time. I've been fortunate enough to get some things published but am still attempting to hash out that one great story.

I look forward to getting some work ripped apart by everyone and reading some quality discussions.

~Matt
 

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly March 10, 2012 - 3:38pm

HAHA First reply!  You'll understand later.  Welcome!  Join our zaniness.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks March 10, 2012 - 3:41pm

If I'm not mistaken, Dave is laughing because he took the joy of saying "Dave will be along later to welcome you." And I'm shitty because I thought I'd finally get the chance to say it. If that's not the joke, Dave... fuck you, I still wanted to say it.

Welcome! I'm Courtney and I'm pretty new, but it's easy to get the hang around here. The next person will likely ask: what do you write? So... what do you write?

I'm assuming you got a workshop subscription, so I'm waiting on your first submission. I'm a prolific editor... wish I could say as much about the writing aspect of it, but hey. I'm forcing myself to write (I'm multi-tasking) as we speak.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks March 10, 2012 - 3:43pm

Oh, and I can sympathize on the lobby-watching part. I'm a hotel front desk clerk... anything I've done today prior to 3 pm was during work.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 10, 2012 - 3:45pm

My desk is a couch and I face the mess my toddler makes everyday. I am not sure which of our situations is worse. Well, my toddler is cute...so there is that.

Anway, in the words of Montel Williams, "Welcome, welcome, welcome!"

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks March 10, 2012 - 3:51pm

Well, my toddler is cute...so there is that.

I think that was one of the most adorable things ever. I have a soft spot for anything baby related 'cause I'm eighteen and my body is in its "let's-have-a-million-babies!" phase. My family starts young.

.'s picture
. March 10, 2012 - 3:56pm

Welcome. 

Favorite Ice Cream?

Favorite member of the Rat Pack?

Coffee or Tea? 

 

 

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 3:56pm

Hey Matt, Matt will be along soon to say that you stole his name or something. I think I remember you from The Cult.

What is wrong with a desk facing a hospital lobby? That sounds downright sanguinary.

Maybe Renee will tell you about her first time if you ask nicely.

Watch out for Courtney, she is underage (kidding). 

@Courtney: I have a hard spot for anything baby related.

Welcome Matt. 

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 10, 2012 - 4:08pm

Ha! Chester is a creep.

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 4:11pm

I love that song.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 10, 2012 - 4:17pm

DAMN YOU! STOP STEALING MY GLORIOUS NAME! FUUUUUCCKKKKKKKK. 

Also, welcome. 

Also, it is better than working. 

Also KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 10, 2012 - 4:19pm

Did you just have a seizure? Is KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK what a "Matt Attack" sounds like?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 10, 2012 - 4:25pm

No, I was just continuing the word fuck. I can see how it might look like that. 

Nikki Guerlain's picture
Nikki Guerlain from Portlandia March 10, 2012 - 4:34pm

Welcome! My pet unicorn Bob thinks you're cute and unlike Randy he doesn't have limp horn or a small pizzle!

Cartersdaddy's picture
Cartersdaddy from Pennsylvania is reading Room March 10, 2012 - 4:45pm

Thanks all for the greetings!

Ice Cream- anything with peanut butter

Rat Pack-Dean Martin

Coffee

I thought it was "than" working after I finished typing and figured someone would nail me on it! As you can see, grammar is not my strong suit-sad because I'm looking for a job teaching high school english.

The lobby is actually the Emergency Room lobby and we do get all kinds of good things, bullet wounds, fights, stabbings, seizures, heart attacks, ODs, all kinds of goodness.

 

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly March 10, 2012 - 4:47pm

An endless stream of potential stories.  Go ahead, write 500-1000 words for each trauma that comes in!

Nikki Guerlain's picture
Nikki Guerlain from Portlandia March 10, 2012 - 4:49pm

Sweet I worked at a hospital for 5 years as a film librarian in radiology and I spent quite a bit of time in er. You must be triaging? It was always great fun looking on the screen to see all the crazy shiz happening in er. Plus I worked back to back 16 hr shifts so I had five days off a week. Can't shake a stick at that!

Cartersdaddy's picture
Cartersdaddy from Pennsylvania is reading Room March 10, 2012 - 4:57pm

I thought about working some things into a story or even some kind of creative non fiction thing. Actually, at this moment, I am discharging patients, taking insurance info, collecting money (always fun), and reading the entertaining things that bring people in, like you said.  Right now this board is the only thing keeping me sane, this and left over pizza from the medical staff.

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 4:58pm

 

Can't shake a stick at that!

Can shake a  limp, drizzling horn at it though. Thud, thud, thud. Tinkle, tinkle, tinkle.

Nikki Guerlain's picture
Nikki Guerlain from Portlandia March 10, 2012 - 5:00pm

You are gooing all over his thread chestie!

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 5:00pm

Right now this board is the only thing keeping me sane,

 

Oh, not to fret, we will have you going insane soon enough.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks March 10, 2012 - 5:03pm

Watch out for Courtney, she is underage (kidding).

HEY. I take offense to that. I waited eighteen years to shake off the jailbait label and I'm damn proud I can finally say I won't be responsible for men (or women) going to jail were they to have sex with me.

..."Matt Attack" sounds like?

I really expected it to be more vicious. Or like a rottweiler attacking a very plump pug.

write 500-1000 words for each trauma that comes in!

Any kind of desk-work can make great fiction. Hotels are a plethora of stories. I can only imagine the ER and writing about it. I think I'd die a little out of joy every time something strange hobbled in.

 

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks March 10, 2012 - 5:05pm

I second that, Chester. I'm growing more demented by the moment. I thought I was reasonably insane until I was taken under LitReactor's collective wing and showed that, no, dementia is much less subtle.

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 5:11pm

Courtney, I like your tongue.

I found a picture of Randybob:

Nikki Guerlain's picture
Nikki Guerlain from Portlandia March 10, 2012 - 5:17pm

Wow I'm surprised he let you take that pic, chestie.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks March 10, 2012 - 5:30pm

I appreciate that, Chester. I rather enjoy it myself.

So that's what Nikki's been sending to me every night? Ah, I understand my nightmare now.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 10, 2012 - 5:39pm

Welcome!

Nice pic Chester. I think that will help my penicorn fan fiction.

"It was always awkward when penicorn would whisper in your ear..."

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly March 10, 2012 - 5:42pm

Unicorn Porn has replaced Panda Porn.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 10, 2012 - 5:54pm

Never

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 10, 2012 - 6:11pm

Lies. LIES AND SLANDER. There can be only one kind of porn in this forum and it will involve pandas. 

 

"Matt Attack" sounds like? I really expected it to be more vicious. Or like a rottweiler attacking a very plump pug."

I think we have a new prompt. LOL

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel March 10, 2012 - 6:13pm

Welcome to the pit.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 10, 2012 - 6:55pm

I can't BELIEVE you all welcomed this guy without me!  I leave for one day and it's just choas when I return. 

Welcome!  Look around, you will surely find something you like. 

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 7:15pm

Come on now Avery, is that anyway to welcome our newest member? You know what would really be a warm welcome?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 10, 2012 - 7:16pm

What's that? 

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 10, 2012 - 8:07pm

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 10, 2012 - 8:28pm

Dude, seriously, Joseph. That is weirding me out!! I am going to fix this.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly March 10, 2012 - 8:35pm

I don't know, you might want to ask Avery what it cost to get hers back.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 10, 2012 - 10:02pm

I just stole his drunk pic and I am going to roll with it. If this is anything like a staring contest--I'm a Doctor Who fan--I know not to fucking BLINK!

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel March 10, 2012 - 10:38pm

I actually changed it to that one and then come to realize that you changed yours. I will now change it back. Staring contest begin!

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 10, 2012 - 11:28pm

It is so very surreal to see my 20 year old face next to your posts. But, I'm ready to roll.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel March 10, 2012 - 11:34pm

and my drunk as self next to yours. it took me a second to figure out what the hell was going on.

Matt's picture
Matt from New Zealand is reading This is how you lose her by Junot Diaz March 11, 2012 - 12:33am

DAMN YOU! STOP STEALING MY GLORIOUS NAME! FUUUUUCCKKKKKKKK

Hello.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 11, 2012 - 6:31am

Now the other Matts are stealing my posts and pointless anger. FML

 

@Chester- I like how she was giving me shit for smoking not too long ago. So says the pot to the kettle. 

 

 

enough's picture
enough from Indiana is reading Warmed and Bound March 11, 2012 - 10:18pm

Welcome Matt! My desk faces a wall, so no excitement here.