PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 5:08pm

List some stories of your laziness.

Just don't be too lazy to post.

MIne:

Sometimes when I run out of white socks I just put on dress socks. Because I don't want to do laundry.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin March 13, 2012 - 5:27pm

Wait, you get worked up about clean socks?

I do my laundry when I run out of clean underwear, until that point anything can be reused.

This might play into the fact that I am... very single.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 5:31pm

Haha just an example.

But I do the same.

I only clean my room when I can't see the floor and start tripping over objects.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin March 13, 2012 - 5:40pm

Oh, I hear you on that. But I wouldn't want to admit it. I JUST spent like a week cleaning up my apartment every day, I got the floor vacuumed, even dragged out the Bissel to get up stains, and right now I'm in total denial about it. I WILL keep this apartment clean.

I didn't finish "Time must have a stop," I think that I quit reading it shortly after the seance, but Huxley's point about "if you want to improve the world start with your corner of it," has been ringing in my head and I am very dedicated to getting my act started on at least developing the neccesarry discipline to clean up.

Having said that, it is much more likely that I will wait until it's a total disaster to get it back into shape. But I'm enjoying it being clean at this specific moment and I want to think I can keep it up this time...

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 13, 2012 - 6:07pm

You both disgust me.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 6:08pm

I tell myself all the time.

Then I come home exhausted and throw my clothes in random directions, which shoots out loose change with it. My nightstand gets littered with mugs. I start putting books in random spots. I toss reciepts and papers to the floor. I spill coffee on my tiles which leaves stains. This all leads up to what I call the "tornado effect" because everything is strew everywhere.

It's strange being in my room.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin March 13, 2012 - 6:12pm

My boxers are clean! My shirt is actually also clean right now.

I may have worn these jeans 5 times since the last wash though...

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 13, 2012 - 6:13pm

This is some advice from my grandmother to you:  It only takes a second to put things where they belong, but it takes hours to clean up a mess of little things that have been building up.  If you just do a little everyday, it makes a big difference. 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 6:13pm

It's a great feeling when everything you're wearing is clean...

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 6:16pm

Avery, your grandmother is right.

The problem is I don't notice until I hear something crack when I take a step.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 13, 2012 - 6:23pm

A place for everything and everything in its place.  That's another Grandmother-ism.

Liana's picture
Liana from Romania and Texas is reading Naked Lunch March 13, 2012 - 6:26pm

Sadly, Avery, the way you're raised is pretty much the way you'll stay. Grandmothers and mothers train guys to be or not to be useful (in that way).

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons March 13, 2012 - 6:31pm

I wish hats or bandanna scarves woudl come back in style so i didn't have to wash my hair. I hate doing that. Hate it. But it is one of those things you have to do. When i wake up and it's a hair-wash day it's like ah shit.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin March 13, 2012 - 6:32pm

My grandmother taught me how to play cribbage and chain smoke parliaments.

Also, she went insane with so much less style than I did, I learned a lot from her descent into madness.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 13, 2012 - 6:31pm

Liana - when I read that first sentence I thought, "What's wrong with the way I was raised???"

But then I got it.   :)

Actually, yeah, my grandmother didn't make my uncle learn how to iron or do laundry because...she is old fashioned.  His wife is pretty mad about that. 

 

Another grandmother-ism: JESSICA!!  *said in a tone of horror, usually after I've just said something about sex, my period, or other random impolite dinner conversation*

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel March 13, 2012 - 6:51pm

And now you know. 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel March 13, 2012 - 6:53pm

I have skipped over a lot of the exposition in books and just read the dialogue, because I just don't feel like mentally building the world. Sad, but true.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like March 13, 2012 - 6:58pm

I once missed out on a hundred-million dollar lottery jackpot because I was too lazy to do all the paperwork.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like March 13, 2012 - 7:09pm

Sometimes when cooking I use inappropriate premixed seasoning blends (like seafood seasoning on beef) because I don't feel like opening, shaking, closing and replacing several different bottles.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 7:10pm

@Joe

That's me everyday.

 

Well, I'm pretty self-sufficient. I learned since I was little, that if I wanted to get anything done I had to do it myself. I had to teach myself how to read and tie my shoes.

I have to clean, cook, iron, and do everything.

I was forced to do everything on my own and nothing was really handed to me. So since I was five I had to save up for everything I wanted, except food, a roof, and an education.

 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 7:11pm

@ J.Y.

That's why I use all-purpose seasoning blends. I enjoy cooking, but sometimes I don't want to put the effort.

.'s picture
. March 13, 2012 - 7:17pm

Going a week without washing my favorite coffee mug. It's no worse than Waffle House coffee cups.

Also always being too lazy to write more than 3 sentences in my posts.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 13, 2012 - 7:21pm

Okay...mixing tequila with apple cider because it's all I have handy.

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 13, 2012 - 7:22pm

Or wait...am I admitting to an alcohol problem?  That wasn't my intent.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 7:23pm

It's called being creative.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts March 13, 2012 - 7:34pm

Sometimes I don't feel like doing dishes for a couple days, so I just eat straight out of the fridge.

about that drinking, I keep waking up in strange places. I woke up the other week with a full plate of food in the bed and all over my jeans. My plan is to start drinking earlier in the day so I don't get so exhausted.

.'s picture
. March 13, 2012 - 7:37pm

Using pickle juice as chaser for vodka. Epiphany. 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin March 13, 2012 - 8:03pm

Dirty ghetto martini.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts March 13, 2012 - 8:48pm

Dirty Sanchez Martini.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books March 13, 2012 - 9:52pm

Too lazy to keep making the bookshelf look nice after my toddler messes with the books and now one bookcase is overflowing and the other has plenty of open space.

Too lazy to clean my own house so I hire someone to do it, even though I am home all day everyday.

 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 9:55pm

I hope they're cheap.

I actually clean on the side. If you're interested in my services. I charge $10 an hour. I'm serious and I work quickly and efficiently.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books March 13, 2012 - 10:21pm

I couldn't afford your gas. And my lady is also $10 an hour :D

 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 10:32pm

I'll bus it. I'm way cooler and extremely detailed. But fine!

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books March 13, 2012 - 10:40pm

Yeah but then I'll have to feel awkward about socializing with the help.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books March 13, 2012 - 10:43pm

Plus,the bus doesn't come this far. Driving 45 minutes each way to the bus stop 2x a week would really get in the way of my laziness,

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 13, 2012 - 11:05pm

This is true :(.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. March 14, 2012 - 12:36am

I will leave dirty plates on the table after dinner because I am too lazy to pick them up sometimes.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly March 14, 2012 - 3:07am

Dirty underwear? go commando, yo

I'm not lazy.  I'm deliberate.  There's a difference. I deliberately deprioritize hanging my laundry in favor of more pressing activity, like LitReactor.  See how that works?

I deliberately don't change a lightbulb, to see if my wife possesses the skill with which to do it.

It makes life colorful.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 14, 2012 - 4:44am

I sometimes wake up at 5 instead of 330am just to sleep in a little bit....

Also, and I think this might be more anti-social than lazy, but I hate feeling obligated to talk to people. I am someone in which no silence is awkward....making small talk and such is not my cup of tea. It obviously offends a lot of people, but I'll talk when I am good and ready. Plus, have something to say to me if you do want to talk, don't waste my time. 

 

So, instead of smoking where everyone else does, I go to the other side of the building just so I don't have to talk to them if I don't feel like it. Yes, too lazy to talk. 

I mean if I know someone or choose to be friends I'll talk, but not just with everybody. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 14, 2012 - 5:02am

I where headphones in my office so people will not talk to me.  It doesn't always work.

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner March 14, 2012 - 5:08am

I where headphones in my office so people will not talk to me.  It doesn't always work."

I am wearing mine currently. I just don't want people to get too offended is all....they don't always take the hint. I am picky who I talk to. 

SConley's picture
SConley from Texas is reading Coin Locker Babies March 14, 2012 - 8:12am

Just have a general annoyed look on your face and most people won't bother you, they'll just think you're too busy or something. Like that one Seinfeld episode.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 14, 2012 - 9:01am

I have furry eyebrows, so everyone thinks I'm an asshole or serious.

David Shepherd's picture
David Shepherd from shepherdsville, KY is reading Idoru by William Gibbson March 14, 2012 - 10:09am

I generally wake up at about nine in the morning but i'm to lazy to get out of bed unti about three.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books March 14, 2012 - 12:18pm

Here's a tragic one:

I was too lazy to put the net for the fishbowl away last night, and so my toddler got ahold of it and scooped a fish out. Fish is now dead.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly March 14, 2012 - 12:29pm

Ive passed up on many a hook up because I was too lazy to call or talk to the girl.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 14, 2012 - 12:43pm

Stop lying Dave. The women come to you, not the other way around.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 14, 2012 - 12:44pm

That is what has made him lazy.

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series March 14, 2012 - 1:02pm

I thought ramen noodles were responsible for everything?

 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human March 14, 2012 - 1:06pm

That too. Those noodles are evil. The bane of productivity.

Raelyn's picture
Raelyn from California is reading The Liars' Club March 14, 2012 - 1:10pm

All of my new co workers think I'm a bit rude because I give them really short answers. I just don't like answering "So how are you liking the job?" twelve different times. Count me in to the not-liking-idol-chit-chat club.

Also I just got out of bed (1:10pm) *yawn...and I'm thinking about crawling back in.