General Discussion : The best pickup lines you will never use because you're too sexy for "talking" and wouldn't it be great if you weren't so you could use them?
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersJuly 9, 2012 - 11:25am
Never mind - I can't be mad at this:
And best of all...
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup
from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck WendigJuly 9, 2012 - 11:33am
"In the pink", huh?
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersJuly 9, 2012 - 11:37am
Just like Dr Pepper
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeJuly 9, 2012 - 12:25pm
Thanks to the lighting, it looks like she's about to serve an egg, which would surely be one of America's funniest home videos.
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Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryJuly 9, 2012 - 1:25pm
Having an egg right in the middle of "In the Pink!" is one of the least subtle symbolic manipulations I've ever seen. The only way it could be better is if she were holding a jar of mayonnaise.
Fylh
from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is readingJuly 9, 2012 - 5:11pm
A man once offered to suck my dick. I was very clear that I was not presently interested, thank you, but that I woould gladly call upon him if ever I should change my mind about such matters. Then I punched him in the face because he was actually also a terrorist fighting for the freedom of the Ba'hai faith, that most ludicrous of religions.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersJuly 9, 2012 - 5:13pm
You're a hero!
Fylh
from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is readingJuly 9, 2012 - 5:18pm
You know, Jess, I... I've been thinking about this a lot and yes, I think you're right. I really am a hero. And it's also rather heroic how I just keep on going even though so few people acknowledge how important I am, at least as far as freedom for white rich tax-evading western men is concerned, which is all that matters when you're dealing with gays and terrorists and oh my God, I've become my father.
Gordon Highland
from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher MooreJuly 9, 2012 - 6:47pm
Not a pickup line—quite the opposite—but Fylh's anecdote reminded me of this time long ago when there were a few assholes lurking nearby while I was eating my lunch alone in the park, and for whatever reason, one of them, looking at me, was compelled to say, much too loud, "Maybe he's some kind of faggot." My idiot gear kicked in, and thinking nothing of the consequences, I just blurted out, "Why don't you suck my dick and find out?" I thought I was gonna get my ass kicked as he was getting all puffed up, but his friends were laughing too hard to back him up. One of those rare moments the quip came to me fast enough not to just end up one of those l'esprit de l'escalier moments where I'm driving away thinking of comebacks that could have been. I was new to the area, and later learned that was indeed an area where such activities often took place between strangers. Got drive-by propositioned by some senior citizen who offered $100 to let him blow me. I found other places to eat after that. (Oh, and I didn't accept, in case that wasn't clear.)
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ReneeAPickup
from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck WendigJuly 9, 2012 - 9:54pm
So. It has come to this.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersJuly 10, 2012 - 4:56am
I'm sorry, why have I not told my most amazing pickup story ever? Some of you already know this story, but for those who don't, this is a treat.
Recently, I got a phone call.
No, that's not exactly right. I got a Facebook message from the husband of one of my close friends asking me to call him. Because I am very stupid and trusting and naive...I called him. Well, the long and short of it was that he believed that my ex husband and his wife were fucking. Which was odd, sure. But it isn't the strangest part, and it wasn't the pickup. That came when after a bit of very awkward conversation, this guy offered me what I can only describe as some sort of revenge oral sex. As in, out of revenge for this betrayal, he should be granted permission (or whatever) to go down on me.
And that was the greatest (but completely unsuccessful) pickup line of all time.
It also made me scared to talk on the phone for the rest of my life.
Species84
from Fluidic space is reading UNIX a standard operating system (1985) by Austen & Thomassen July 10, 2012 - 7:46am
Jack asked: Do the Dutch guy's really not pick up the tab on dates?
Well....... Some do, some don't. It's all about 'emancipation', i think. 'Going Dutch' is accepted, appreciated. Because a lot of women work nowadays instead of sitting home doing housework and raise babies etc. they are 'happy' to spend the money they worked so hard for. Welcome to the labourforce ladies... It's liberating for them to spend there own money, I think.
Some time ago I was on a date with this beautifull dutch woman. (Not long hair blonde but short brown hair) She was hot, I can say. Independant and intelligent woman she was. To bad it didn't work out for us, but that is not the point here. The point is, as I recall, that in the end she paid for more drinks then i did. And I wasn't acting 'lame' like Archie :), I had enough cash in my pocket to pay for both but she 'insisted' of paying drinks too.
Oh wait: How did I get this date?
Her sister gave me her number, I called her, and she agreed to go on a date. Her sister was a woman I really really liked, but she didn't like me that much (still isn't clear). Then suddenly,being slightly pissed, I thought and told her: If you don't want to visit me or go out on date with me, maybe your sister will.... and she did.... haha
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryJuly 10, 2012 - 7:49am
I never go Dutch, but I often go commando.
Now that I think of parallels with the Arnold movie, I've determined that "commando" is appropriate: unconcealed and well-armed.
Species84
from Fluidic space is reading UNIX a standard operating system (1985) by Austen & Thomassen July 10, 2012 - 7:58am
@Sparrowstark, as long as people in this thread dont talk to much about 'Nam' it's all fine with me... You americanes............:)
@averydoll, he wanted to go 'third base' with you? haha......
See ya
Gordon Highland
from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher MooreJuly 10, 2012 - 8:09am
Did he ask if he could "strap on the feed bag"?
Species84
from Fluidic space is reading UNIX a standard operating system (1985) by Austen & Thomassen July 10, 2012 - 8:20am
@utah, you like to date 'rough'? ...cool... But please watch out with it, things could get easily out of hand...
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryJuly 10, 2012 - 8:54am
But that's the point of dating: so things never get "in my hand" in the first place...
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup
from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck WendigJuly 10, 2012 - 11:08am
@Species--what is an Americane?
EDIT: Never mind, I figured it out. Ladies and gentlemen--the Americane.
bryanhowie
from FW, ID is reading East of Eden. Steinbeck is FUCKING AMAZING.July 10, 2012 - 12:31pm
Avery, call me. I have a propostion.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersJuly 10, 2012 - 12:36pm
Sounds legit.
Apparently Itake simple commands very well and without much consideration.
Species84
from Fluidic space is reading UNIX a standard operating system (1985) by Austen & Thomassen July 10, 2012 - 12:38pm
Sometimes when being on a date I use 'the Americane' as an accessory to impress the lady............
:)
Anyway, thanks for correcting me.
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup
from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck WendigJuly 10, 2012 - 1:44pm
:D
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryJuly 10, 2012 - 2:43pm
Well, I guess you could beat them on the first date, but I've always thought it more polite to wait until they're emotionally invested to really start the abuse.
To each their own.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedJuly 11, 2012 - 12:16pm
I didn't know you were such a sissy Utah.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryJuly 11, 2012 - 12:51pm
Dude, what can I say? I'm a sensitive man of the 90s.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedJuly 11, 2012 - 9:30pm
Choke on my vomit.
underpurplemoon
from PDX
July 11, 2012 - 11:38pm
I'm a sensitive man of the 90s.
Yay 90s!
bryanhowie
from FW, ID is reading East of Eden. Steinbeck is FUCKING AMAZING.July 12, 2012 - 10:15am
Gag me with a spoon.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryJuly 12, 2012 - 10:19am
Gag me with a spoon your manhood.
It's not really my bag, but if it'll make you feel better...
Never mind - I can't be mad at this:
And best of all...
"In the pink", huh?
Just like Dr Pepper
Thanks to the lighting, it looks like she's about to serve an egg, which would surely be one of America's funniest home videos.
Having an egg right in the middle of "In the Pink!" is one of the least subtle symbolic manipulations I've ever seen. The only way it could be better is if she were holding a jar of mayonnaise.
A man once offered to suck my dick. I was very clear that I was not presently interested, thank you, but that I woould gladly call upon him if ever I should change my mind about such matters. Then I punched him in the face because he was actually also a terrorist fighting for the freedom of the Ba'hai faith, that most ludicrous of religions.
You're a hero!
You know, Jess, I... I've been thinking about this a lot and yes, I think you're right. I really am a hero. And it's also rather heroic how I just keep on going even though so few people acknowledge how important I am, at least as far as freedom for white rich tax-evading western men is concerned, which is all that matters when you're dealing with gays and terrorists and oh my God, I've become my father.
Not a pickup line—quite the opposite—but Fylh's anecdote reminded me of this time long ago when there were a few assholes lurking nearby while I was eating my lunch alone in the park, and for whatever reason, one of them, looking at me, was compelled to say, much too loud, "Maybe he's some kind of faggot." My idiot gear kicked in, and thinking nothing of the consequences, I just blurted out, "Why don't you suck my dick and find out?" I thought I was gonna get my ass kicked as he was getting all puffed up, but his friends were laughing too hard to back him up. One of those rare moments the quip came to me fast enough not to just end up one of those l'esprit de l'escalier moments where I'm driving away thinking of comebacks that could have been. I was new to the area, and later learned that was indeed an area where such activities often took place between strangers. Got drive-by propositioned by some senior citizen who offered $100 to let him blow me. I found other places to eat after that. (Oh, and I didn't accept, in case that wasn't clear.)
So. It has come to this.
I'm sorry, why have I not told my most amazing pickup story ever? Some of you already know this story, but for those who don't, this is a treat.
Recently, I got a phone call.
No, that's not exactly right. I got a Facebook message from the husband of one of my close friends asking me to call him. Because I am very stupid and trusting and naive...I called him. Well, the long and short of it was that he believed that my ex husband and his wife were fucking. Which was odd, sure. But it isn't the strangest part, and it wasn't the pickup. That came when after a bit of very awkward conversation, this guy offered me what I can only describe as some sort of revenge oral sex. As in, out of revenge for this betrayal, he should be granted permission (or whatever) to go down on me.
And that was the greatest (but completely unsuccessful) pickup line of all time.
It also made me scared to talk on the phone for the rest of my life.
Jack asked: Do the Dutch guy's really not pick up the tab on dates?
Well....... Some do, some don't. It's all about 'emancipation', i think. 'Going Dutch' is accepted, appreciated. Because a lot of women work nowadays instead of sitting home doing housework and raise babies etc. they are 'happy' to spend the money they worked so hard for. Welcome to the labourforce ladies... It's liberating for them to spend there own money, I think.
Some time ago I was on a date with this beautifull dutch woman. (Not long hair blonde but short brown hair) She was hot, I can say. Independant and intelligent woman she was. To bad it didn't work out for us, but that is not the point here. The point is, as I recall, that in the end she paid for more drinks then i did. And I wasn't acting 'lame' like Archie :), I had enough cash in my pocket to pay for both but she 'insisted' of paying drinks too.
Oh wait: How did I get this date?
Her sister gave me her number, I called her, and she agreed to go on a date. Her sister was a woman I really really liked, but she didn't like me that much (still isn't clear). Then suddenly,being slightly pissed, I thought and told her: If you don't want to visit me or go out on date with me, maybe your sister will.... and she did.... haha
I never go Dutch, but I often go commando.
Now that I think of parallels with the Arnold movie, I've determined that "commando" is appropriate: unconcealed and well-armed.
@Sparrowstark, as long as people in this thread dont talk to much about 'Nam' it's all fine with me... You americanes............:)
@averydoll, he wanted to go 'third base' with you? haha......
See ya
Did he ask if he could "strap on the feed bag"?
@utah, you like to date 'rough'? ...cool... But please watch out with it, things could get easily out of hand...
But that's the point of dating: so things never get "in my hand" in the first place...
@Species--what is an Americane?
EDIT: Never mind, I figured it out. Ladies and gentlemen--the Americane.
Avery, call me. I have a propostion.
Sounds legit.
Apparently Itake simple commands very well and without much consideration.
Sometimes when being on a date I use 'the Americane' as an accessory to impress the lady............
:)
Anyway, thanks for correcting me.
:D
Well, I guess you could beat them on the first date, but I've always thought it more polite to wait until they're emotionally invested to really start the abuse.
To each their own.
I didn't know you were such a sissy Utah.
Dude, what can I say? I'm a sensitive man of the 90s.
Choke on my vomit.
Yay 90s!
Gag me with a spoon.
It's not really my bag, but if it'll make you feel better...