Hey baby, can I have your digits? I collect fingers.
Your eyes are amazing. I don't care if you're blind, Jesus, just take a fucking compliment.
Hello, I hear you're insecure! I myself am rather insincere and willing to flatter.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
I actually said this one to my girlfriend when we first started dating: Hey, can I put my basalisk in your chamber of secrets?
We're still dating more than two years later.
True Story:
Inebriated Middle Aged "Gentleman": "Those, uh, are some real nice jeans ya got on dere... Where d'ya get jeans like dat?"
My lovely Hot Girlfriend: "I dunno, Le Chateau?"
I.M.A.G.: "Tell ya what I'mma gunna do. I'mma take ya to dat dere 'Le Chateau', and I'mma buy you NINE pairs a jeans. One fer each day of da week..."
(Sorry for my terrible attempt at talking in drunk Winnipeg slang, but that's as close as I can get via interweb)
This wasn't a line, I just happened to say it to a really pretty girl that was sitting next to me.
I turned to her and said,
"Quit being so damn cute, you're distracting me from my drinking."
I got a laugh, handshake, a name and a good conversation.
"I like your hair, is it real?"
Guy: wanna go for pizza and sex?
Girl: no.
Guy: fine. We'll skip the pizza.
Pass a note to her:
Do you think I'm cute?
Yes = Smile
No = Backflip
I think your dad is hot, but you'll do.
That reads way fucking creepier than I meant it to.
Guy: I'm gay.
Girl: Yay! You're my new best friend.
Get her drunk on booze, or GHB (your pick), then take her home and fuck her. When she asks you about being gay, tell her no, just happy.
I've got a cramp in my vagina. Would you rub it out for me?
.... yep, that one worked on me.
Courtesy of Renee:
Want to ride me like a horse?
(I'm very good at this)
You made that sound like I asked you...which...logistically...
For the record, she didn't ask me.
Have you seen me naked yet? Would you like to?
Wouldn't you like to be loved by me?
(that's a quote from something)
Sounds like The Beatles.
It isn't.
Dammit, what's it from? It sounds familiar.
Well, I read it in Revolutionary Road. But they attribute it to The Petrified Forest, a play that April is in. And I like the line.
I dig it.
I pick you! That has worked for me, twice. Best delivered In heels walking decisively across the bar, slightly drunk.
Wanna throw half on a bastard?
^ Okay, that's the best one yet.
^^Agreed.
I pick you!
I would totally cold-shoulder that, regardless of the consequences.
We Pokemon are taken advantage of all too often. People think they can just walk up and be like, "I choose you!" or "Look what I found: you!" and it's like, "Whatever, girl. You found me? I live here! Now scram before I evolve all over you!"
I don't know, being picked sounds pretty good. Kind of like the feeling of getting picked first for basketball.
Only there's sex with a woman involved. And no basketball.
Well, if you want to get laid instead of spending the rest of the night looking like a jackass, sure.
Yeah, and there is a special something about a girl with a stagger-swagger...or so I've been told.
J.Y. I wouldn't pick you ;-)
stagger-swagger
one of the many "special things"
just about anything can be special:
freckles / pure spotless skin
top three buttons open / complete button-up
an easy laugh / only smirks until you've really had to work for it
etc.
@Stacy - Ok, I'll take the girl who winks and smiles all the time instead.
She looks like this: ;-)
Be still, my heart...
I don't know, being picked sounds pretty good. Kind of like the feeling of getting picked forst for basketball.
Only there's sex with a woman involved.
- Being picked is nice, but usually the chick's drunk, because it's been standard practice for many, many centuries that the guy chases and courts the girl. More often than not, when her inhibitions have been lowered she will come to us. Which then poses the problem. By the time we get her home she's passed out on the bed with merely a shoe removed, or we're carrying her from the car to the bed. You could still sleep with her, and she could still scream rape in the morning. Your call.
Seems to me you've never been hit on by a attractive woman before. That does happen, you know.
And without the drunken scene and subsequent sleep rape, as you so eloquently put it.
I've actually only ever slept with one guy I met at a bar, and he was a friend of a friend who I dated for awhile before getting to sex. But I've never really trolled the bar singles scene.
Oh, you mean outside of a club where the woman isn't pouring Patron down her throat while falling off the bar in 4 inch heels? Then yes. Yes I have. I just prefer to have the woman I'm talking to standing, coherent and able to hold a conversation.
Sleep rape. You make it sound so much worse than it already is.
Bitterness or pseudo-edginess, I'm not sure which one I'm dealing with at the moment.
Either way, I've officially lost interest in this conversation with you.
I'm sorry to hear that. I was having fun. I wouldn't call it bitterness or pseudo-edginess. Just fact.
"Hi, I'm (insert name here). What's your name?"
Followed by actual conversation and alcohol.
To close the deal:
"Look, this is all cool and everything, but I'm thinking we ditch this place and go to your place."
It's direct, simple, and fucking WORKS!!! And always their place because you get to choose when you leave if she doesn't kick you out first. That and women are usually more comfortable in their own place.
It's really cold out here. Could I use your thighs as ear muffs?
Either way, I've officially lost interest in this conversation with you."
I was wondering when someone would get butt hurt about this thread. Careful Jeff, Moony is a professional. Besides- who actually uses pickup lines?
Also it's going to be 104 today.
Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?
"Seems to me you've never been hit on by a attractive woman before. That does happen, you know."
Of course it does! Didn't anyone read my pickup lines? I can only deliver the vagina cramp line while sober. (as an aside, I came up with that one because a pregnant friend was complaining about her cervix)
"And without the drunken scene and subsequent sleep rape, as you so eloquently put it."
That made me laugh. I'm going to try and work "sleep rape" into a conversation today.
Speaking of which, any time someone says they work third shift, I assume they are rapists.