Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin May 10, 2012 - 7:37am

Hey, Matt, I couldn't find the original post with the "Meanwhile in Russia..." picture, but I still wanted to share this gem with you.

So, not only is that guy just walking around with a replica of an assault rifle, he's walking around with a replica of an assault rifle during a police crackdown, when there has been street violence for days, and the cops don't bother him. 

 

I don't know if you can tell from those pictures, but it isn't like he's hiding it or avoiding the cops. And this guy here on the left is freaked out.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner May 10, 2012 - 7:42am

Hahahhahah that is so awesome it hurts. I am reminded of Ice Cube

"I didn't even have to use my AK, today was a good day."

I really think this one should be a prompt. The other two made me laugh and also I asked myself things like, "Why" and "What"

 

 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin May 10, 2012 - 11:06am

lmfao, that bear is terrified.

In Soviet Russia the bears play dead when they see you.

-

When I was first learning Russian I was kind of surprised that the grammar was actually a lot like a Romance Language. People would ask me what Russian was like and I would explain that it was like Latin as spoken by a Bear. There's cases and declensions and the verbs and nouns and adjectives have the agreement that is pretty much foreign to me as a native English speaker, but also there's a lot of growling noises.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner May 10, 2012 - 11:11am

It is very guttural. There were a lot of Ukrainian and Russian immigrant families back home. I asked a friend of mine in High School to teach me some so I could pick up girls. 

He did. They giggled a lot and walked away. That's when I realized he wasn't teaching me anything helpful. Learning is fun. 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin May 11, 2012 - 12:01pm

You HAVE to see this one.

I started hanging out on Russia Today (RT.com) for a variety of reasons, they carry Julian Assange's Talk Show and the sort of News that you wouldn't expect to get covered by the mainstream American media.

But since they are based in Russia they also carry a ton of stories about Russia, and this one... well...

A hairdresser from the small Russian town of Meshchovsk has subdued a man who tried to rob her shop, and then raped him for three days in the utility room, Life.ru reports.

Meanwhile... in Russia

“What a bastard,” the woman said about Viktor. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1.000 roubles (around $ 30) when he left.”

Mickaël Dutertre's picture
Mickaël Dutertre July 4, 2012 - 3:34am

For those who have a little knowing in french language, there is a website who has made buzz with the conspiracy theory, called Réseau Voltaire: http://www.voltairenet.org/

They said that the Nine Eleven was diriged by American people, not by Islamists. Quite pathologic...

 

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from El Cerrito, CA (originally), now Fort Worth, TX is reading The San Veneficio Canon - Michael Cisco, The Croning - Laird Barron, By the Time We Leave Here, We'll Be Friends - J. David Osborne July 4, 2012 - 10:59am

No shortage of Americans saying that, either.

doctorrude's picture
doctorrude from Hampshire, England. is reading The Castle-Kafka July 26, 2012 - 9:49am

I once heard that all clouds are merely sheep that have died but bcause animals can't get into heaven they float in limbo in the sky urinating on humans as a form of revenge.

School was a simpler time.

Mike Adam's picture
Mike Adam from Toronto, Canada is reading Wytches Vol. 1 July 26, 2012 - 8:21pm

SUUUPERRR THERMITE PAINT

justin's picture
justin from Magratheia is reading lots of Christopher Moore, John Irving, Tom Robbins and Neil Gaimen July 26, 2012 - 9:23pm

Tom Robbins poses an awesome conspiracy theory about redheads and pyramids in Still Life with Woodpecker

Wildman666's picture
Wildman666 from Kentucky is reading Revelation Space by Alastair Reynolds September 24, 2012 - 3:17am

Holocaust never happened.

CIA murdered X.

CIA murdered JFK.

CIA murdered MLK.

Project MKULTRA never ended and the Aurora, CO Batman shooting was part of a CIA psy-op.

Mars has already been colonized.

Ron Paul's campaign was blacked out by mass media.

Federal Reserve.

Peak oil.

HAARP.

Cats.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly October 7, 2012 - 9:15pm

"HAARP" 

the Hispanic American Association of Retired People?

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks October 8, 2012 - 10:43am

Ron Paul in general

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 8, 2012 - 12:57pm

Player                  Att    Yds    Yds/Att     Long    TD

Chris Johnson     73     210       2.9          19        0

[Need I say more?]

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks October 8, 2012 - 1:16pm

The Casey Anthony and OJ Simpson trials were created by the government to unify everyone behind a common enemy.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 8, 2012 - 1:18pm

^ They did a poor job of it then.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks October 8, 2012 - 7:18pm

As in they got off so that everyone could be angry about the same things.

(I really had someone try to convince me of this)

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human October 11, 2012 - 3:46am

Reality TV was created to unite people and melt their minds. Truth.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin October 11, 2012 - 7:11am

The Job Numbers were faked!

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly October 11, 2012 - 8:24am

Reality TV was created to unite people and melt their minds. Truth.

 

I fixed it for you.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human October 11, 2012 - 5:49pm

@Dave

Thank you.

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks October 11, 2012 - 8:46pm

I have a picture of me at fifteen doing duck-lips and pointing at a T-shirt that says "NO TV" designed like the MTV logo. Unfortunately, I'm pointing at my tits and didn't realize it so I buried it in my hard drive and will never unearth it.

That statement was designed to distract you all from the presidential election by making you laugh at me instead, I'm an agent of the government.

Tantra Bensko's picture
Tantra Bensko from Zionsville, Indiana is reading Weaveworld May 13, 2014 - 4:32pm

The Tooth Fairy is an Intelligence operative. She is actually a He. She implants nano recording devices with needles stuck into the holes where the teeth once were, and when she leaves money under the pillow -- it's got mind controlling substances on it in micro-powder form.

melmurphy's picture
melmurphy from Spokane is reading "Julian" by Gore Vidal May 13, 2014 - 10:16pm

I have this crazy theory: the NSA is spying on LitReactor.

No ... wait ... eeeeek!

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal May 14, 2014 - 1:47pm

The VP's son has a lucrative position in an Ukranian oil or natural gas company.

Oh, wait...

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin May 15, 2014 - 9:46pm

<*pause recording*> The NSA is not spying on you. <*resume recording*>

 

Natso's picture
Natso from Mongolia is reading Moby Dick May 15, 2014 - 10:01pm

The Internet is actually made by a gentle giant sea monster's farts. We're internet-ing so much the farts are depleting. That's why the NSA is building a sea monster farmville in Mariana trench.

Don't believe me? Youtube it.

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal May 15, 2014 - 10:15pm

We're actually all in the matrix right now.  It's almost exactly like the movies.  They made the movie to make sure that nobody would ever believe that it was real.  Even the "nuttiest" people (who are actually the most perceptive of all) would say: "That's the movie with Keanu Reeves!  And people call me crazy!"  

Adenosine's picture
Adenosine from The Pits of Hell is reading "Nation" — Terry Pratchett December 18, 2014 - 4:38pm

World War 2 never happened. Not just the Holocaust, the whole thing in general. And the continent of Africa is actually no larger than a good-sized piece of furniture.

Barack Obama isn't from America. He's from Albania. 

You do not know these things because Joe Biden does not wish you to know them.

 

L.W. Flouisa's picture
L.W. Flouisa from Tennessee is reading More Murakami December 20, 2014 - 7:47pm

Did George MacDonald really survive into the 21st century, and maintains a pen name as editor of a prestigious magazine?

I honestly wouldn't mind if that were true.

Would work for Poe, Travers. Shake well. New World Order syrup for New World Order milk.

(Not entirely not a joke about Rhoda Island Coffee Syrup.)

Seriously, coffee milk can take over the world.