Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series April 18, 2012 - 1:58pm

Whoa. There must be some kind of Chocolate Factory reference conspiracy happening in THIS VERY THREAD! I didn't notice Pandrew's picture til i hit submit. Maybe that dude really IS an Oompa Loompa.

I once had a dream I was subbing in for the drummer in Gene Wilder's band and I was so bad at playing his experimental noise music he threw my hand painted R2D2 drum set off the stage and yelled in my face. When I woke up I kind of had a crush on him.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 18, 2012 - 2:10pm

LOL @ Meat, yeah he is an odd dude. 

 

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade April 19, 2012 - 4:16pm

Also, current Western medicine is bull shit. What was the last real thing we cured? Polio? Small Pox? We always seem to be on the verge of a breakthrough, and it never comes....why? There is more money in treatments than cures....spend a lifetime buying pills to treat symptoms, or buy one pill and never have to worry again.....mmhmmm

Or

In the words of the Wu Tang Clan, "Cash rules everything around me, CREAM, Get the money, dollar, dollar bill y'all."

Ditto.

In the words of U2/Bono:

"Don't believe them when they tell me there ain't no cure / The rich stay healthy, the sick stay poor."

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade April 19, 2012 - 4:17pm

"Don't believe them when they tell me there ain't no cure / The rich stay healthy, the sick stay poor."

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 19, 2012 - 4:17pm

BOONE!

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade April 19, 2012 - 4:18pm

VERY busy fortnight....

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 19, 2012 - 4:20pm

Ouch.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 20, 2012 - 3:15am

Boone! Also, great quote!

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 20, 2012 - 3:17am

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 20, 2012 - 3:31am

That's beautiful Panda. 

Harland Williams did an entire standup special on government conspiracies. 

One of my favorites is: JFK is a Wookie

Can't find it anywhere though. 

 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 20, 2012 - 4:21am

@Matt: That guy always looks like he gets paid in hallucinogens.

-

Not quite a conspiracy theory, but close. It's 4/20 and so forgive me for my cannabis related conspiracy (not to say that the prohibition of cannabis isn't a conspiracy, it just isn't a funny or absurd one).

So, one of the things that the Carter administration wanted to do was to legalize cannabis. Not, like, the way that stoners like to hope that Obama will, Carter had appointed a fiercely anti-prohibition head of the DEA and was working to dismantle the entire war on drugs.

The reason it didn't work out? This DEA chief was caught at a party doing blow with Hunter S. Thompson.

So next time you're watching Fear and Loathing, don't forget how dangerous that man was even to his own causes.

-

I think I read that in Gonzo, though. Not that I think the biographers were lying, just clarifying my source. Hunter's conspiracy to do cocaine with the head of the DEA. Went horribly wrong (really though, how was it not going to go wrong).

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 20, 2012 - 9:59am

@Matt: That guy always looks like he gets paid in hallucinogens.
 

LOL

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig April 20, 2012 - 2:26pm

Husband was an archeaologist before immigrating to the States...he watches that Ancient Aliens show EVERY FUCKING SATURDAY and stomps around the house grumbling about how much it pisses him off and tells me all the real history. Then he asks ME why he watches it, knowing it will piss him off. WTF?

I guess that's my conspiracy theory. Husband is conspiring with The History Channel to drive me mad.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 20, 2012 - 2:30pm

Haha I've watched a couple documentaries where the facts were way off. It pisses me off too.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. April 20, 2012 - 2:34pm

I heard Hitler was Jewish.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 20, 2012 - 2:39pm

My dad was Theodore Roosevelt.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. April 20, 2012 - 3:36pm

Abraham Lincoln was black.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. April 22, 2012 - 11:57am

Every night Panda appears in my dreams.

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 22, 2012 - 7:22am

Can't sleep, PandaMask will get me...

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 24, 2012 - 11:22am

@DorianxGrey  and Panda

 

Hmmmmm

 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 24, 2012 - 11:55am

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 25, 2012 - 4:14am

I traverse your dreams and leave ideas in all your heads.

Stalin wrote Twilight.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 25, 2012 - 4:37am

Stalin wrote Twilight."

 

I could see that, he was a poet. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 25, 2012 - 4:37am

The first things people usually notice about me:

How handsome and totally emotionally fucked up I am.

Odd, but this is very similar to the first thing people always notice about me.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 25, 2012 - 4:43am

You're Batman.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 25, 2012 - 4:50am

It would make a lot of sense.

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 25, 2012 - 4:59am

@matt

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 25, 2012 - 5:07am

LOL @ Black

Amcii Cullum's picture
Amcii Cullum from Columbia, SC; now living in Atlanta, GA is reading currently, several source materials for JavaScript and JQuery April 29, 2012 - 9:13am

3 words: ONE WORLD ORDER

Becareful who you vote for this year.  Obama is slowly but surely making a positive impact on our country and foreign relations.  We need to support him in every way possible and get the young people out to vote again.  Very important.  For all of you who are for Obama, you are making a better life for all of us.  Thank you.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 9:22am

Obama is slowly but surely making a positive impact on our country and foreign relations"

 

Where are you getting your information exactly? 

 

Wait, I found a campaign poster. 

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 29, 2012 - 10:17am

Gee Matt - I thought you believed in survival of the fittest.  WHich would sort of lend itself to the idea that...in order to survive...change is mandatory.

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 10:40am

This is true, but there is a difference between a bear killing the tribal idiot (thus keeping his genes from spreading), and the good folks in Washington forcing me to take care of said idiot through social contract. 

 

Admittedly I am a little pissed, I just got done giving the tax man a grand (on top of the money they took throughout the year) so, instead of a refund, that's what happened. Yeah- I'm bitter. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 29, 2012 - 11:35am

"forcing me to take care of said idiot through social contract"

Really?  That's precious.  One of these days you should figure out how taxes break down and see where your money is actually going.  But then, it would be too inconvenient to not be able to blame people who happen to be less fortunate than you are at the moment for all your problems. 

My grandfather always use to say, being poor is not a crime, it's just damn inconvenient. 

God willing and the creek don't rise maybe you won't have to have help in your life.  But I hate to hear people assume what the circumstances of others are and bemoan helping another person. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 11:49am

Easy cheesy, I've been homeless before. I got a job, then a better job, then kept working up. However, I resent the hell out of working my ass off, and standing in line at the store behind people milking the system and eating better than me. 

 

But! If you want to go there, then let's go there. 

 

 

So, income security which accounts for about 2000 dollars of my taxes is a rather large piece. This covers everything from unemployment to child nutrition. I don't have kids and I have a job, why am I paying for either of these? 

National defense, I love how Obama has gotten a Nobel Peace Prize but has actually increased military spending and horribly managed the war in Afghanistan and committed US forces to at least three theaters of war without Congressional oversight. Not to mention military resources being used for deportations (which, Obama has deported more people than any other president.) 

Social Security, let's be  honest, it'll never be there when I retire. 

Health and Medicare....so why do I pay thousands in insurance costs and copays? I don't even get sick! 

 

 

^^^

None of this shit, is my problem. I don't mind helping people out, I really, really don't. I just want my money used better. That's all. Oversight and independent auditing. Not lobster in line at the store (which I have seen) 

Like I said though, I am bitter about my taxes, so I am just kind of being a dick. 

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 11:58am

By the way, you see that rather small orange piece at the top? That's education.

If you really want people to move up and end poverty, that should be a lot bigger. 

 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 29, 2012 - 12:10pm

Are you talking about Obamacare? Because if you're talking about Obamacare then I don't think you know how Obamacare works. It isn't like you are taxed by the government. You're just required to get health insurance, like you're required to get auto insurance.

If you want to run into other peoples cars then you are required to pay for it, you know, through your insurance.

And so, when people want to get healthcare should we leave it up to the ER? Should the doctors work and use materials for people who need immediate medical care for free, but only when the shit has hit the fan? Doesn't that end up inflating your hospital and insurance costs and doesn't that make it impossible for people who (through no fault of their own, even if they do happen to also be "village idiots") have prexisting conditions to get coverage?

So, why shouldn't these village idiots be required to cover their own healthcare costs by purchasing insurance through the free market?

-

But as for his other "redistributive" policies.... what other "redistributive" policies? The bailout? I'll give you that one. We should not have seen our tax money go to pad the pockets of AIG and Goldman Sachs. We should end redistribution of wealth to the top 1%. But Who's going to do that? Mitt Romney?

Turning GM from bankrupcy to, well, I think they're doing OK these days. Taxpayer money was involved sure, but it's been paid back.

But there has certainly been no expansion of so called "entitlements" under Barack Obama. Unless the "get a power scooter on Medicare's Dime" people have been especially busy, but I don't buy it. The numbers don't add up.

-

Which is not to say that Amcii is right. Barack Obama has done many things to improve our relations with the world. But he has also overseen more unmanned drone strikes than Bush and he has killed more civilians doing it.

He continues to talk big about some "clean energy revolution" that is currently happening in China as if talking about it makes it happen in America instead.

He has expanded the power of the Executive in unprecedented ways in the name of the "war on terror."

He has continued the war in Afghanistan.

He has continued the war on drugs.

He has done nothing to reign in the power of the military or the subsidies to even the military contractors who want to build fantastic and completely impractical machines.

He has not closed Guantanamo Bay.

America continues to torture terror suspects.

"Operation Fast and Furious."

-

I hope Ron Paul takes the Republican ticket, but he won't.

And I am not going to vote for Mitt Romney, because he is not going to improve any of those things. He is not even remotely interested in the US prison population, he would probably torture just as much as his predecessors, he wouldn't end a single damn war.

So, what do you have? Obama or protest vote?

Democracy is the real joke.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 29, 2012 - 12:11pm

"This covers everything from unemployment to child nutrition. I don't have kids and I have a job, why am I paying for either of these? "

Because fuck 'em, right?  You don't have kids in school, so why pay for public schools?  Why would you mention education, and then say you don't want to pay for something you do not personally use?  And I would bet money you have had help in your life.  Why begrudge others that same help?

Just shut up and pay you're taxes.  It's so easy to blame someone who is gaming the system, and the system is flawed, but it really isn't busted.  The vast majority of people on unemployment are regular people who worked hard and found themselves in a circumstance that was not foreseeable.  If you have ever lived on unemployment benefits, then you must know they do not pay for the life of luxury some would make out.  It isn't a free ride.

To say you have a job, so why should you pay for unemployment is willfully ignorant at best.

For a country that screams so loud that they want to be Christian, they should probably worry less about what people are doing with their resources, and more about giving freely with a glad and happy heart to those who need or ask for help.  What are they doing with my money?  Why, that's none of your fucking business.  Giving does not require or imply ownership. 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 29, 2012 - 12:16pm

I remember this thread was about having flan.

 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 29, 2012 - 12:18pm

I mean, he's a Kenyan anyways. So none of that really matters.

Stalin said something insightful once about counting votes.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 29, 2012 - 12:23pm

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 12:37pm

The vast majority of people on unemployment are regular people who worked hard and found themselves in a circumstance that was not foreseeable."

I would agree provisionally. 

 

child nutrition"

This isn't public schools, which when I have kids, they will not attend. 

If you have ever lived on unemployment benefits,"

3 years ago, the tech company I worked for folded and left us without a job. I spent 10 hours a day looking for work, going to interviews, doing everything I could, even door to door. I had a better job, before I even got my first unemployment check. I am not saying it's that easy for everyone, but seriously, work is out there. In Alabama they have a manpower shortage (thanks to deportations). Why? Because Americans are "too good" to do farm work. No, there's work out there, even if it's shitty. 

more about giving freely with a glad and happy heart to those who need or ask for help."

Agreed, if 10% of income generated by all Americans were given charities crated for education, or food, or shelter, those programs wouldn't be needed. I DO give to charity, I just want oversight not wasting the money I give. (It would be around 1 trillion dollars) and the difference is, I choose where my charitable donations go. 

I hope Ron Paul takes the Republican ticket"

Yes. 

"clean energy revolution"

Yeah, that tiny little blue slice at the top is energy development. Isn't that neat? 

 

Democracy is the real joke."

 

At this point, it's turning into that. 

He has expanded the power of the Executive in unprecedented ways in the name of the "war on terror.""

EDIT: Yeah, the National Defense Authorization Act was my favorite. According to the Justice Department if you have more than 6 days of food in your house, you're a terrorist and can be detained without your constitutional rights, indefinitely...That was neat. 

Mitt is the biggest Wall Street douche ever and bailouts are NOT free market. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 12:37pm

LOL @ Panda

 

You can't begrudge us the occasional debate. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 29, 2012 - 12:54pm

"No, there's work out there, even if it's shitty."

Let me ask you this...

You have four kids, a wife who works, and you have a full time job making a good salary.  Things work.  Then you are laid off.  You have trouble finding work for whatever reason.  You unemployment benefits are a percentage of your old salary and amount to more than you would make at a minimum wage job.  You have a family to support.  Do you continue taking the unemployment check while you look for work that is in the same area/payscale as your last job, or do you give the government the finger and go work at McDonald's for $7.25 an hour for 15 hours a week? 

And better still, will McDonald's hire you?  I mean, you are a business professional with a degree, they will know you aren't going to stay there long term, but jump ship as soon as the opportunity arrives.  Why not give the job to a guy with a GED who plans on staying there for awhile, save on turnover?

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 29, 2012 - 12:57pm

And better still, will McDonald's hire you?  I mean, you are a business professional with a degree, they will know you aren't going to stay there long term, but jump ship as soon as the opportunity arrives.  Why not give the job to a guy with a GED who plans on staying there for awhile, save on turnover?

Yep. This is why I got out of the hamster wheel of rejection and jumped into the fast lane of state sanctioned homicide. 

I always hated this: "We can't pay you what you're worth..." and "You're overqualified... etc."

Fuck that. I need a job. Who do I have to kill to get a paycheck?

Ding. Achievement unlocked.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 29, 2012 - 1:06pm

@Jessica, I'll seriously have to think on that. 

 

@Black, interesting. 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human April 29, 2012 - 2:11pm

I didn't know you played Xbox, Grigori.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin May 2, 2012 - 9:52pm

@Matt

But of course, if Democracy is really a joke then the real problem is that Marx was right. There is only one way for just men to obtain power and right the wrongs and that is to have an army and to murder those who oppose them.

I'm trying to think outside of the box on this issue. So I occupied the box (and 99% of the outside the box space) and demanded some sort of middle path.

There was no response to my demands so I burned down a starbucks in Seattle.

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin May 2, 2012 - 10:07pm

@Panda

I don't, but I slept in a Holiday Inn once. Does that count?

Courtney's picture
Courtney from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooks May 2, 2012 - 10:10pm

I was going to rant about the fact that due to my family's finances I had to enroll in IUPUI instead of one of the six Ivy League schools that recruited me, but I'm bitter as fuck so it came off sounding whiny, self-pitying and childish. Instead, here's a fun Cracked article about lost photographs and conspiracy theories.

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin May 5, 2012 - 6:22am

It's quiet. Too quiet...