can be full of dreams. . .” wrote V.W, referring, of course, to sleep.
My relationship with sleep is problematic. Even after somehow having made it through a day on a lousy few hours from the previous night, sleep will take its sweet time coming. At one point, I even came up with the terrible idea that I should just not sleep every other night. Predictably, this was not a productive time in my life.
When I eventually do fall asleep, I usually have something like 40 to 90 minutes of peace before being thrown into an insane hallucinogenic trip, in response to which some primitive part of my brain sends me running around the apartment in a wild panic, allegedly fending for my life (bystanders beware).
Finally, no matter how tired I am, I can't sleep for more than 7 hours without getting a headache. In conclusion, I'm tired most of the time and daydream a lot about sleeping, but actual sleep tends not to agree with me.
So... how's your relationship with sleep? Any other insomniacs or parasomniacs (although I'm pretty sure that's not an actual word) in here? Anyone sitting on some good strategies for falling asleep and staying asleep?
And while we're on the topic. I know some folks get ideas and inspiration for stories from dreams, keeping a notebook on the nightstand and so on. My dreams are usually not that generous. Anyone else get lucky though?
I keep a voice recorder on the nightstand, which I use for notes and other stuff when walking the dog (though I so often forget to bring it and forget all the good ideas I come up with). I've recorded a few weird dreams, and there's nothing like later listening to myself slur their weirdness into the mic while barely conscious.
I have a few pieces of advice, though I find sleep advice doesn't tend to work for people since the problems and solutions vary so widely. I can be an insomniac by choice (I was up until 4:30 last night, compiling stuff from the last class I took here), but I generally sleep well unless truly disturbed about life. Working out heavily a few hours before bed excellent, but don't do it too close to sleep as it will just wake you up. Using essential oils known for calming effects (lavender, etc.) can at least help to encourage the right mood. If there's a physiological problem, you might look into supplementation (melatonin can help you regulate your sleep cycle, though you don't want to take it long term... l-tryptophan has been known to help some). White noise can be a real boon for some folks, where total silence may help others. I prefer a little noise, and usually have a source of recorded rain pattering somewhere. Also, turn off the TV, lights, etc. Sleep in total darkness. Light interferes with sleep in a way most people don't understand, keeping your body from doing everything it's supposed to, even if you feel as though you're falling asleep okay and feeling reasonably refreshed.
But yeah, I've known a lot of insomniacs. My ex-wife was one, as she suffers from chronic pain, and my current girlfriend basically doesn't sleep at all, nor did the girlfriend before her. The latter had a bad relationship that really screwed with her, and she couldn't ever sleep until we started together. I believed at the time that removing herself from the bad situation and being with someone who loved her changed that. She still sleeps well now, though, despite having gone back to the old relationship. Maybe because she's made her peace with it. My current girlfriend can't sleep on her own for anything, but if she spends the night with me, she sleeps like someone blackjacked her in an alley. I'm working under the assumption now that I must radiate boredom to the extent that others just pass out in my presence.
Not to sound preachy, but establishing a good sleep schedule is REALLY important. I learned that after suffering a long time of trying to get by with an average of maybe 5 hours per night. The rest of the time i'd be tossing and turning and thinking about shit. It affects your attitude, your mood, your perception of the world. I sought medical intervention and i do not regret it at all!
If you don't feel that your comfortable seeking out a doctor, here are some other things that might help you.
1 Shut off your computer at least 1-2 hours before bed time.
2. Try finding some reading material that is light, fun to read, and relaxing before going to sleep.
3. Find some herbal teas that promote good sleep.
4. Try yoga or meditation.
5. Avoid eating before bed, and avoid caffeine at all costs before bed.
Sleep problems pretty much define my existence. Since I was diagnosed as bipolar type II, I've recognized that most of my issues are symptoms of a larger problem. Most notably, I pull regular all-nighters (about three to four a month) when hypomania tries to set in. I'm in a manic swing right now (been that way for around a month and a half) and I barely sleep at all.
That said, I've relied on sleep aids my entire life because my family has a history of severe, severe, severe nightmares. The last time I quit taking them, I woke up screaming for my mom at sixteen years old because I'd had such a horrific dream. She bought a box of Benadryl the next day and I've been using regularly again ever since.
It's a terrible idea to use sleep aids, but it's the only thing that works. I either can't sleep, have trouble falling asleep, or can't stay asleep.
I've used dreams as inspiration once, and it was this weird, possibly drug-induced manic dream that led me into my first and only foray into sci-fi. Most of my dreams are so fucking scary and cruel that I don't talk about them, let alone write about them.
I keep a voice recorder on the nightstand, which I use for notes and other stuff when walking the dog (though I so often forget to bring it and forget all the good ideas I come up with). I've recorded a few weird dreams, and there's nothing like later listening to myself slur their weirdness into the mic while barely conscious.
Haha, oh dear I couldn't do that to myself. Do you transcribe the recordings? And thank you for the tips, I find exercise in general is a plus, although I need to do it at least 3 or 4 hours before bedtime.
Not to sound preachy, but establishing a good sleep schedule is REALLY important.
No I agree, it really is the main thing. It isn't always enough though, the time I fall asleep always seem to depend more upon the time I fell asleep the previous night than what time I got up. So I can get up at 6 (my usual hour) and fall asleep at 2 am, and the next day I'll fall asleep at 2 am even if I got up at 6. Admittedly the computer tends to be the last thing I turn off, next to my nightstand lamp. Will try that one. The one thing I've noticed that definitely disrupts my falling asleep is painting or writing before going to bed.
Most of my dreams are so fucking scary and cruel that I don't talk about them, let alone write about them.
I'm with you on that one. Possibly my memory just sorts out the good dreams, but I never remember having them. The only not entirely bad dream I remember vividly is running from some sort of skirmish and running across a clearing when a ghost general (in a civil war type uniform) grabs the front of my shirt and yells to my face "ETERNITY IS SILENT!" and then pushes me away into space. It was weird.
I can imagine that sort of diagnose comes with a lot of unwanted tourists. I've never had anything near a manic period though so I can't begin to imagine what that must be like. Can you stay focused and get things done or is it just "wasted" energy?
I learned about done thing about myself a long time ago: when I am happy sleeping I want to keep on sleeping and not get up. when I am awake, I want to stay Wake and cannot go to sleep. I would do better with 20 hours of awake time, then eight hours of sleep. The worst is when you know you need to sleep but you wake up every hour, wide awake.
I don't know your age, but Estrovan helped me regulate sleep. It contains soy and a little melatonin. It's over the counter and non addictive. it could help.
if I start writing at night, which is the best time for me, I never can shut down and go to sleep. I'll be up all night.
I have a long and troubled relationship with sleep. When I was in High School, being straightedge, going to Christian Faith-Camps I found sleep deprivation to be a most interesting sort of consciousness altering activity. Truth be told I rarely was so dangerous on the road, or liable to do such strange things stoned or drunk as I was when I was sleep deprived. I often walked into women's restroom's after two or three days without sleep, no reason, often just because I couldn't tell the difference, sleep deprived Nick was a nightmare on the roads.
This goes back much further, to my early youth when I would habitually stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning reading or telling stories to my younger siblings (which my parents seemed to feel was a corrupting behavior, although I do not agree that letting them know that Santa wasn't real was in truth a negative influence).
I have, in my recent years, discovered a series of breathing exercises to be the most effective way to put oneself to sleep when one does not want to. Steady breaths of medium fullness, in rhythm until you can feel your heartbeat and begin to slow that. Regular REM sleep is apparently important in maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
@Linda I've had a few "happy" dreams (read: just mildly fucked up, not crazy) but I can only remember two "good" dreams. One was just recently, the first time I took Klonopin -- it was a beautiful, wonderful, amazing dream where I ran through a factory and dumped fountains on myself. Weird. The other (probably the best dream I ever had) was when I was about sixteen; I dreamt that I was riding a motorcycle through Kentucky with the Marlboro Marine (I'd been doing a lot of research on him at that time) and just seeing these beautiful, rolling hills under a purplish sky, knowing that nothing meant anything and we weren't going anywhere.
Digression aside, the diagnosis was really difficult. It came during my first semester of college, and I was actually diagnosed because of my sleep problems. (They were able to ask me the right questions when they saw the physical manifestations of my symptoms.) I'd always had depression issues, but I'm at the perfect age for bipolar symptoms to start coming out of the woodwork.
With type II, hypomania is really scarce, and this is only the second time I've experienced. The first was around the time they diagnosed me (again, it's why they were able to.) Basically, hypomania is like being seventeen again. You're invicible! No matter how fast you drive, how rarely you eat, how little you sleep, nothing bad can happen. Your sex drive skyrockets and you're horny all the damn time, and your invincible, so you can have unprotected sex whenever you want without suffering a consequence (obviously, this is one I monitor carefully as fuck and try to stock up on condoms when I think mania is settling in.) You make tons of plans. For your life, your career, your writing, whatever it is you do -- you decide to go on a diet, or switch majors, or quit your job.
Still, I don't get much done. I have this insatiable urge to write, but I can't. I have no impetus or desire to -- that, honestly, comes more from depression. It's like having this bubbling life force behind your heart that constantly encourages you to move but, surprise, you're a paraplegic. It's a bitch.
I've had insomnia on and off for years. I had thought that having kids had cured me of this (granted this would be an extreme way of getting rid of it), but in the last year the bouts have come back. Usually they last for a few weeks and I can muddle through. In the last month or so it's become so bad that I finally gave up and went to see the doc. I now have some knock out drugs, though I can only take them for short periods because they are a tad addictive.
I find that as soon as I tell people I have trouble sleeping, I get inundated with advice, very little of which is any good at all. Hot milky drinks, warm (not hot) baths, meditation, magnesium tablets, classical music, herbal remedies... none of them work for me. If I can't switch off properly, nothing is going to put me out short of chloroform. On rare occasions I give up on sleep and read or watch mindless TV, but mostly I stay in bed trying just to rest.
I wish I had insomnia during the day...
I think several generations currently suffer from absolute and terminal overstimulation. We're never not looking at a screen or absorbing something, it seems. It can be really hard to get away from and I think the symptoms are really consistent within certain demographics. A lot of my friends and associates have similar sleep-related issues, and almost all their habits are similar. I've tried to get away from stuff myself, but thankfully for me, stress and depression generally mean lights out. So if I'm not feeling at my best, I tend to auto-recover to some degree through getting a decent night's sleep (though I still don't sleep as much as I'm supposed to... generally 5 or 6 hours a night, and this is a biological thing where it took me years to train my body to sleep more than 5 hours without waking up automatically).
Unless I have to get up for work I can pretty much sleep when I want for however long I want, which is nice. The only exceptions happened when I let my self discipline lapse, and didn't keep my thoughts focused during the day.
@Covewriter, I'm still in my 20s so I don't think I'm quite ready for Estrovan, but it might be worth checking out which ingredient works for sleep. Likely it's out there in other form as well. Thanks.
@Courtney. That must be incredibly frustrating. In a way the highs seem more dangerous than the lows.
I find that as soon as I tell people I have trouble sleeping, I get inundated with advice, very little of which is any good at all. Hot milky drinks, warm (not hot) baths, meditation, magnesium tablets, classical music, herbal remedies... none of them work for me. If I can't switch off properly, nothing is going to put me out short of chloroform.
I agree to some extent. Sometimes, it doesn't really matter what I do. But I think little tricks and routines can help quite a lot to minimize the damage. And I know for a fact that I can make falling and staying asleep harder, should I want to. But yeah, careful with the drugs.
@Drea: Haha, that makes two of us. I'm fine as long as I can activate myself but when things slow down, sitting in meetings for example, I seriously resort to pinching myself to stay awake. It's embarrassing.
I think several generations currently suffer from absolute and terminal overstimulation.
This I believe. And a serious lack of physical activity. When I've had tough jobs my sleeping problems have been at a minimum.
@Dwayne: How do you mean 'let your thoughts slip during the day'?
Well not exactly what I said, lol, but I meant most days I have stuff to do. Impose order on the chaos that life can be so to speak. If I stay on task, stay focused, I might not get everything I wanted 100% done, but I'll put a dent in it. Doing that lets me sleep because for a few reason. One, it is exhausting. Two it puts me in a mind set of determining what I do and don't think about so it is much easier to decide I won't let my mind run in a 1000 different directions and keep me up/just pick when I go to sleep. All though I admit this has been a bit harder the last few years since I work nights.
I sleep within fifteen minutes of hitting the pillow.
I drink coffee and use my computer until bedtime. The rule is no drama or discussion for half and hour before I go to bed. I am to be left totally alone for fifteen minutes, and then life in the household can proceed as normal without any further consideration to me.
The bed has individual bowling ball resistant pocket coils, the room is well ventilated and kept at 68 degrees, and there is a noise generator set on ocean waves hitting the shore ($39) which provides white noise to counter the regular passage of 24/7 coal trains to the super port that I can hear clearly when I rise at 4 a.m. despite being behind a ridge and a couple of miles away.
Having to get up so early for work has forced this discipline upon me in the dark of winter and the light of summer because of a need to hit the sack at 8-9 p.m. My breathing syncs to the rhythm of the ocean waves pounding the shore. It took a while for this to take successfully, but it works perfectly now.
I want to write a long answer, but reading the other posts made me think I should shut down my PC soon. It's 23:38pm in here, and I'm alone in my apartment. If I don't set a time to sleep, I usually transgress over the sleep period and wake up early feeling miserable. I have a sleep deprivation problem, my girlfriend has one, too. Hers is more serious than mine. In some mornings, she tells me she couldn't even get a single hour of shut-eye, that she's been just staring at the ceiling and thinking about things.
