Write a sentence or paragraph using the worst possible metaphors you can think of. Mix 'em. Make them make no sense, but then maybe they kind of do, in a ludicrous or totally sick way. Or just make them really, really dumb. Because making fun of idiocy is our solemn duty.
Here's one from a novel I wrote, still shockingly unpublished:
'His restaurant, The Cracked Egg, dangled from the tip of Summerlin like an unflicked booger.'
But my favorite will always be from Throw Momma From the Train:
'His guts oozed nice, like a melted malted.'
And now, Danny Devito.
'His restaurant, The Cracked Egg, dangled from the tip of Summerlin like an unflicked booger.'
Haha, come on, it does paint a vivid picture.
Haha, come on, it does paint a vivid picture.
But I am a man of refinement and delicate sensibilities! I for one, found it offensive, and the author should be ashamed.
Oh, fungus, I can't stop laughing.
Can I do a simile, instead of a metaphor?
"He stood tall and lean, like something tall and lean and standy that stood there, where he stood."
Or!
'The apple is an orange.'
Tony:
I really enjoy the word "standy." It makes me laughy.
Jeffrey:
I used to play Apples to Apples with some friends. Our gold cards (cards that always won no matter what we paired with them) were Danny Devito and AIDS.
That man had no moves. On the dance floor he was a stiff hamster.
You can't pave the drive way until you quack the duck.
