Charles's picture
Charles from Portland is reading Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones December 18, 2011 - 9:21pm

now we'll be ronery... so ronery....

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-10745725

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin December 18, 2011 - 9:36pm

But will it change anything? Will we have Kruschev style "secret speeches" coming to light or has the government in North Korea shifted to this wacky and yet somehow stable combination of Communist trappings and relics with a hereditary absolute monarchy.

It's North Korea though, so nobody knows, it's like an information black hole. I was surprised that this news came to light, I always thought there would be some elaborate weekend at bernies style hijinks when this day came.

Charles's picture
Charles from Portland is reading Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones December 18, 2011 - 9:40pm

me too.... im kind of sad. the stand-up comedian in me needed the elaborate parade of the corpse, and the almost obligatory kim jong android, or batman style HARDAC computer with his brain in it...

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series December 18, 2011 - 10:17pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBaPI2AKu2g

 

Not sure how to imbed the video here, but this is my favourite (albeit fake) Kim Jong Il moment.

 

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading December 19, 2011 - 6:25am

Then who was power?!?!?!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 19, 2011 - 6:29am

I believe his equally nutty son is now in charge...so.  Not much of a change there.

postpomo's picture
postpomo from Canada is reading words words words December 19, 2011 - 8:53am

Not all that surprising. He's been Il for a long time.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 19, 2011 - 8:53am

Haha.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 19, 2011 - 9:15am

Well, at least one head of the beast was cut.

JonnyGibbings's picture
JonnyGibbings December 19, 2011 - 9:15am

They say he died with his family around him, it was what he wanted. Dunno, I bet if you asked, he'd have rather had doctors and a defibrillator around him. It was Heart failure according to his doctor, Sum Ting Wong.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 19, 2011 - 9:20am

Fortunately, though, the son had his face cut to more closely resemble dear ol' dad.  Thank god that's not weird.  So even if he's not as crazy as Kim Jong, he desperately wants to be.  That's gotta count for something.

Bruno Hat's picture
Bruno Hat from Glasgow, Scotland is reading writing and arithmetic December 19, 2011 - 10:24am

Was listening to BBC radio today and they were going through his life achievements as told by North Korean state sources.

Apparently, the Dear Leader was speaking fluently within three weeks of birth, composed his first manifesto aged two. He wrote operas as a teenager that are amongst the finest ever written. He invented the microwave oven and the hologram and while playing his first ever round of golf he notched up eight holes in one.

What a guy.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 19, 2011 - 10:35am

That's nothing.  When I was a year and a half old I re-created the works of Jackson Pollock on our living room wall with my own poop.  Now that's saying something. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 19, 2011 - 10:39am

When I was four I "created" a new sytem of governemt that I was sure would solve all the world's problems.  My mother promptly told me I had discovered Communism and I was never to tell anyone else about it. 

I like how they sau he was "believed to be" 69.  There's really no way of being sure.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts December 19, 2011 - 10:47am

Not until they cut him open and count the rings.

JonnyGibbings's picture
JonnyGibbings December 19, 2011 - 11:16am

When i was four i was living with a Spanish hooker called Mia. We were smuggling illegal nesquik across the border to Cornwall, i was hooked on glue. She was so skanky we sold her spit to sperm banks. Before my fith birthday i invented the question mark. My genius was boundless, i even couhighnted to infinity twice. I invented the decaffinated coffee table and a female vagina deoderant called Sprunt!

Bruno Hat's picture
Bruno Hat from Glasgow, Scotland is reading writing and arithmetic December 19, 2011 - 11:21am

My ex used Sprunt all the time. It's a pleasure to finally meet the man who invented it.

.'s picture
. December 19, 2011 - 11:23am

I invented diet water when I was in the womb. My amniotic fluid was sold on the black market. It was very intoxicating. Years later I started a dubstep group with Phillip Seymour Hoffman and we got hooked on Special K.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 19, 2011 - 11:25am

Unfortunately, Jonny Gibbings is a pathological liar.  Kim Jung Il invented Sprunt.  He actually did that two weeks before he invented vaginas, because he was a true forward-thinker.

JonnyGibbings's picture
JonnyGibbings December 19, 2011 - 11:33am

Diet water! Haaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaa! Fuck me that made me laugh.

Bruno Hat's picture
Bruno Hat from Glasgow, Scotland is reading writing and arithmetic December 19, 2011 - 11:39am

See if I'm being honest here, this thread has taken a disconcerting turn. It's almost as if you're all mocking Kim Jong-il's claims to fame,

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 19, 2011 - 11:56am

Utah - you made me laugh and laugh just then.  Wait, I'm still laughing. 

 

JonnyGibbings's picture
JonnyGibbings December 19, 2011 - 12:30pm

I can't get past diet water - its killing me.

.'s picture
. December 19, 2011 - 12:56pm

Yeah the Kardashian's drink it a lot haha.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 19, 2011 - 1:20pm

Its how they keep those figures, oh yeah and plastic surgery.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated December 20, 2011 - 4:24am

The messed up part is that he as a whole nation taught to belive this stuff. I mean stuff that seems crazier then anything we make up as a joke like he would fix there food problems with giant bunnies or that he didn't pee or poo or that a star was over his birth like Jesus.

postpomo's picture
postpomo from Canada is reading words words words December 20, 2011 - 7:12am

but he wasn't a secret Muslim, was he?

Kirk's picture
Admin
Kirk from Pingree Grove, IL is reading The Book Of The New Sun December 20, 2011 - 7:33am
avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 20, 2011 - 7:35am

I don't know if this is funny or horribly sad. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 20, 2011 - 8:34am

Wait.  Does this mean that Lil Kim didn't just die?  My bad.  I thought this was a tribute thread to here.  Couldn't figure out why you guys all kept going on and on about some funky Asian with a weird head.

_'s picture
_ December 20, 2011 - 10:07am
aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 20, 2011 - 10:20am

Poor Lil' Kim, she was finally split in two from all that sex.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 20, 2011 - 10:23am

A few years back, the worst urban legend I heard was that Lil' Kim was rushed to the emergency room and they pumped a gallon of sperm out of her stomach. Clearly it was two gallons.