Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series April 10, 2012 - 7:50am

No matter what I do. Error messages. Half a million dollars doesn't go very far these days. I hate the software on my computer. Today I sent the following message to my IT people.

"If 'the remote server machine does not exist or is unavailable', as suggested, how is it that this dialogue box exists despite the non-existence of its domain? Should we infer from this diagnosis that the Earth is currently experiencing difficulties as a result of the universe simply being unavailable? Can we assume that existence is merely subjective, and if so, what is the alternative? If one puts a bun in the oven, should one not expect toast? From whom should we seek answers, when we cannot even be sure of our own reality? Without the universe to fall back on, who is left answer our calls for help?
'We're sorry, the planet you are currently trying to access has experienced a fatal error and needs to restart. Your call is important to us, please remain on the line.'"

I should probably just do my work on paper now and ignore my computer.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 7:59am

PC load letter....what the fuck does that mean

 

EDIT: There is something very Unabomber about your theory. LOL

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry April 10, 2012 - 7:59am

Fuckin magnets

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series April 10, 2012 - 8:04am

Why are pants different than shirts?

 

Are volcanos really just angry hills?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 8:07am

Here is Matt's philosphy about such things. 

1. We were better off in the forest chasing deer for our dinner. 

2. I don't know about anything and I never will. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 8:07am

Also

 

Fuckin magnets"

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 10, 2012 - 9:04am

1. We were better off in the forest chasing deer for our dinner. 

I mean, if you prefer it the thing is that this is still an option. You'll probably have to do some work to find a properly secluded area, but, hell you don't even really NEED to leave the US to do it.

But you'd still have better luck with it if you did. Although if it were up to me I've come to understand about myself that the answer is more a matter of rainforests and fishing. You want to play that game, move to Bolivia.

-

That's why I keep my compound bow handy with my arrows and short sword, in case it comes to that. But I think I'd rather have consistent access to the LR for now.

Of course, you gotta make it past a lot of guns before you can live among the ancients.it'll be an adventure. Sneak through TJ or try to sail it out? I don't have all the specifics out yet. It takes some planning, but it's a noble venture.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 9:15am

edit

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 9:17am

It is still an option, however, what I mean is: shift society back to 0. I am ardent Darwinist. It really only makes sense. I would agree homo sapiens are an animal designed for a tropical/sub-tropical climate. However there are some slight variations allowing for adaptations in low light or cold climates. Blue eyes, blonde hair, fair skin to stave off Vitaman D deficiency and low light. Just as an example.

Bolivia would work, as would Alaska, Tunguska, parts of the Savannah, Kamchatka, Nunavut, the Outback....just to name a few. Various islands in the Pacific rim would be ideal as well.

It would be an adventure, but I have a feeling we'd be much better off. Survival of the fittest. Genetic, physical, mental ect ect

 

From a biological standpoint it is either this, or destroy ourselves with massive weapons, eugenics, AI or even plain old pollution or even genetic degradation. It's bound to happen....

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 10, 2012 - 9:25am

Oh, so you aren't just worried about your own life, you feel like this has to be a total social change?

Why? I mean, I'm sure you could find some crazy chick to get onboard with the idea and create a new super-race in Saskatchewan.. Play the long game, if their lifestyle works better then eventually they will take over.

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series April 10, 2012 - 9:31am

Saskatchewan. I think they already live like that there.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 10, 2012 - 9:34am

matt - I really think you should do that.  Go live off the land. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 9:38am

The last two girls I went out with were down with it. Sexy as hell. I could go the 'lone wolf' route however, Darwinism is a constant. It takes up to 32 separate genetically different individuals to create a solid base....so, in order to make it work you'd have to get other people on board, plan it out, ect ect seems like a lot of work.....

Besides, why do the work yourself? It's going to happen. Every civilization collapses without exception and we're approaching the 'singularity' as they call it. So, I mean take your pick. 

Genetic degradation (which seems likely if you've ever walked into a Walmart.) 

Atomic weapons

Pollution/Climate Change (which aren't totally linked)

Economic collapse 

Moore's law

The rise of AI 

Insufficient energy

Even a few choice natural disasters would do the trick....the Yellowstone super volcano (it's 40,000 years overdue to erupt) or a mega quake....super cyclones.....meteor (oh, yeah, they just discovered one which has a 1 in 600 chance of hitting us in 10 years, it's a few miles across) 

Just to name a few. 

The second law of thermal dynamics predicts it, everything changes and destruction is inevitable. So no, I'll sit back and wait. If it happens (which does seem likley) then I'll be ready, if not, then I'll just live my life. 

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 9:36am

@Meat, yeah I thought so, isn't there some Mormon guy there living like that with his 40 wives or something...

@AD I have considered it. 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 10, 2012 - 9:40am

Yes, but is it possible that you're just being melodramatic?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 9:47am

It is possible, I am having a bad day.....but normally melodrama does contain some kernel of truth. Don't get me wrong, I am not troubled by any of this in the slightest.....that said, ignoring the inevitable is like bargaining with the sun, nothing is accomplished and you'll walk away burned. 

 

How did we get on this again? Ok, I'll stop. 

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 10, 2012 - 12:06pm

Melodramatic? Fuck no. Smart? Maybe. It never hurts to be ahead of the power curve.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 10, 2012 - 12:13pm

Agreed. There were ton of scenarios I could have listed, but didn't. Change is in the air....I can smell it. 

Two good rules to live by (partially stolen)

1. Always be ready

2. It's never too early to start beefing up your obituary. 

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like April 10, 2012 - 1:13pm

2. It's never too early to start beefing up your obituary.

lol

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin April 10, 2012 - 5:26pm

I don't have a problem with having "backup survival plans" I have backup survival plans. If the noose needs to be slipped I will slip it. When these cases go to court and the shit hits the fan damn right I'll see you in Bolivia.

But when one starts to think in terms of "the whole world is crumbling and I'm going to be the special one who survives, like in the movies," then you are being melodramatic.

Primitivism is a philosophy for Americans who can't think beyond their borders and who spend too much time in urban areas. If vaccines are BS then prove it, if man is stronger when he doesn't have machines helping him then prove it. Prove it the same way that we proved opposable thumbs and social organization work better than the alternatives, survival of the fittest.

But, if one is unwilling to actually adopt the philosophy until it is popular then you are in the same position as a pure Marxist who talks about how it has to be a "worldwide revolution or else it will never count or work out." To me, it's a melodramatic position that requires the "whole world" as a backdrop to reflect the depth of your emotion.

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 10, 2012 - 9:34pm

That's why I keep it simple: Be courteous, be polite, and be prepared to kill everyone you meet.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 11, 2012 - 12:48am

I could see what you're saying Nick. In a way, I did prove it growing up...well in bits and pieces...but you're right....the above was nothing more than me being bored at work and getting the creative juices flowing. 

@Black, that is the greatest rule of all. LOL

Amcii Cullum's picture
Amcii Cullum from Columbia, SC; now living in Atlanta, GA is reading currently, several source materials for JavaScript and JQuery April 11, 2012 - 8:47am

There is nothing like books, in their native form, so beautiful in content and aethetics of binding.

I say, as I grab my pen, write with paper, tree bark, cereal box cardboard, napkins, anything you can find, and leave the computer to all that you must do on the computer.  Spread your wings.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel April 11, 2012 - 9:29am

I AM GOING THE WAY OF CHRISTOPHER MCCANDLESS......without the whole death thing. Stand aside society, this guy is going off the grid.

Don't try and stop me.

Really don't.

Someone try and stop me.

Oh, god, no one cares. Perhaps if I bought some new clothes and technology gizmos, people may care.

Still nothing.

I'm really going now....

But first, I need to hit up Chipotle. Can't start living off the land without a full stomach.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry April 11, 2012 - 9:40am

I'm w/Diaz.  Gonna work my way into this idea.  Today it's Chipotle.  But tomorrow, who knows what I'll be eating?  Maybe backpackers who think they're gonna traipse across my mountain.

This is my mountain.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 11, 2012 - 9:53am

@Utah....oh, because......because you're bigfoot? 

 

 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry April 11, 2012 - 9:58am

Ha!  I see you did like that Peretti book Monster!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 11, 2012 - 10:00am

Pretty elaborate trap you set there.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry April 11, 2012 - 10:03am

The inner workings of the shit I've got going on here are intricate.  My plots is / like Swiss watchiz.  <-- totally came up with that shit myself.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 11, 2012 - 10:09am

That is deep game sir. You bastard. Still didn't like it though.....

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry April 11, 2012 - 10:19am

You know, I actually read that book all the way through.  I was able to do that because I was drinking, and I pulled my way through several sub-mediocre books when I was drinking.  I will say this for the book past that first 20 pages you read:  it never got better.

Plot synopsis:  SPOILER ALERT!  So a mad scientist tried to prove evolution by creating Sasquatches.  But his Sasquatches wound up being all fucked up and violent, unlike real Sasquatches (because, as we find out, there are real Sasquatches).  Since the phony Sasquatches couldn't measure up to the real Sasquatches, a literal interpretation of the book of Genesis is the correct one.

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters April 11, 2012 - 10:23am

There is a show (okay there are several, but I'm talking about one in particular) about people who are out looking for sasquatch.  And they keep calling it "squatch" for short I guess.  And it is really funny. 

What was that sound?  I think I heard a squatch!

 

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 11, 2012 - 10:25am

I'm locked in a windowless facility, working for no one, because I don't exist, yet I must keep the facility open, because it serves a vital purpose and spend my day going through various Kung Fu forms until the powers that be call me to serve my true purpose*. 

 

If my life gets any weirder, I'll have to write it. 

 

*One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 11, 2012 - 10:27am

@AD, yeah, Bigfoot hunters I think....kind of dumb...

@Utah That sounds......kind of dumb........I am a little disappointed but happy I didn't finish it....

I have never really got that literal interpretation thing anyway, despite growing up around it. It seems to me we lack the mental architecture needed to even fathom an eternal God, so it is futile to pin down anything he said or did. I have also always found it a tad arrogant to say you know the truth and no one else does....I have a feeling God keeps his own council. It is possible to reconcile say....a Darwinian and scientific view point and that of the Genesis account...but it is complicated and takes a lot of physics....

Just like Job, there is very little evidence he actually existed, but if the Bible is the actual, living word of God, it wouldn't matter if he did or not...the meaning behind his story and the truth you take away from it should be all that matters....

@Black, you're living in an existential nightmare. Kudos. 

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 11, 2012 - 10:30am

I've been tempted for a while now to post a sign outside my building: "In case of war, push buzzer." with an arrow pointing at the buzzer under the security cameras. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 11, 2012 - 10:32am

Why do I get the feeling you work here comrade Black.....is it double plus good? 

 

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 11, 2012 - 10:36am

Four sets of cameras actually. Who watches the watchmen watching the watchers? Yeah... that would be me. I'm the contingency plan filling the gap due to budgeting shortfalls in a place that was closed for a mission that was ended in an organization that doesn't exist because it's essential to maintaining freedom and democracy*. 

 

 

 

 

*And killing people. Let's not forget that. Because let's face it, some people can't be reasoned with. And it's not a matter of people being killed, but making sure you kill enough of the right people**.

 

**The ones who need killing. 

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner April 11, 2012 - 10:39am

Comrade Black...he's gonna free the shit out of you.

Grigori Black's picture
Grigori Black from US is reading Radium Girls by Amanda Gowin April 11, 2012 - 10:40am

I'm with the government, I'm here to help.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated September 20, 2012 - 12:57am

I have a feeling we'd be just as frustrated with splinters from spears.