Brandon's picture
Brandon from KCMO is reading Made to Break December 22, 2013 - 11:43am

Follow me on Twitter to keep up with the latest pizza jokes.

Pre-order GOOD SEX, GREAT PRAYERS and THIS PRIEST IS HAWT!! 

Yeah bro, you've been saying this for over two and a half years.

Jay.SJ's picture
Jay.SJ from London is reading Warmed and Bound December 22, 2013 - 2:30pm

Remember this guy from The Cult. Kind of a lame way to attack, mimicing and not being original. 

Bob Pastorella's picture
Bob Pastorella from Groves, Texas is reading murder books trying to stay hip, I'm thinking of you, and you're out there so Say your prayers, Say your prayers, Say your prayers December 22, 2013 - 2:33pm

Wasn't Crash published in the 70's. 1973 to be exact, just checked. So, this moron compares Chuck to Ballard, goes negative, and is not aware how dumb he sounds. 

Oblivion is pure bliss, I tell you. Pure fucking bliss. 

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books December 22, 2013 - 5:23pm

Just when I was wondering to myself how many more of your facebook posts were going to end up on that thread...

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated December 23, 2013 - 7:49am

This guy is boring.  Why doesn't someone just delete Jacob's account and posts?

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer December 23, 2013 - 8:43am

Glad to see this thread, because I was just fucking lost.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 23, 2013 - 12:20pm

Dwayne, do you really want me to start deleting posts/people for being boring?

Mess_Jess's picture
Mess_Jess from Sydney, Australia, living in Toronto, Canada is reading Perfect by Rachael Joyce December 23, 2013 - 4:09pm

I'm mildy disappointed that this moved  from a somewhat entertaining mystery to dead boring, so quickly. 

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated December 23, 2013 - 4:18pm

No, but since the general consensus is that Jacob isn't a real person I don't see the connection.

Jacob C.'s picture
Jacob C. from Astoria, Oregon is reading Doomed by Chuck December 25, 2013 - 12:56pm

This is the first page of THE JISM OF GOD.

 

Urine is squirting out of the urethras of the ring girl wannabees, drenched in designer, that are subconsciously timing their relief into the toilets in the bathroom in the bar.  Nachoes are being eaten by a huddle of obese media in the bar.  Electro-heavy bars is being sang by the pop band on the stage in the bar.  Fresh domestic beers are being drinked by the half-soused people in the bar.  No TV left unturned in the bar.

Big cameras are held on the fat shoulders of the obese media that is speaking their neutral spiel in the bar.  Big name tags are in front of the nipples of the obese media in the bar.  CNN and ESPN tags are in front of the nipples of the ex Playmates and ex cheerleaders, drenched in designer, in the bar.  Room temperature pizza is being refilled to the plates of the people from American households across the country in the bar.

There all waiting for the big happen in the bar.  Somebody comes in to the door in the bar.  It is Father MacMurphy in the bar.

"Yo bra, why you wearin a bra, bra?"

 

Brandon's picture
Brandon from KCMO is reading Made to Break December 27, 2013 - 10:52am

Although not 100 words or less, The Fashion of the Christ is available on Amazon HERE for 99 cents (and free for Prime Members)

Jacob C.'s picture
Jacob C. from Astoria, Oregon is reading Doomed by Chuck December 27, 2013 - 11:54am

holy shit!  he writes as pretty as me!

Vonnegut Check's picture
Vonnegut Check from Baltimore December 27, 2013 - 11:56am

^ This dude obviously wants to blow Brandon.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 27, 2013 - 12:01pm

Who doesn't?

.'s picture
. December 27, 2013 - 12:08pm

Isn't there a harrasment policy that would able Kirk to ban the troll's IP? 

Jacob C.'s picture
Jacob C. from Astoria, Oregon is reading Doomed by Chuck December 27, 2013 - 12:11pm

damn skippy i wanna blow him!  he writes just as pretty as my writing!

 

 

eirikodin's picture
eirikodin from Auburn, NY is reading Mediterranean Caper by Clive Cussler December 27, 2013 - 12:47pm

For sum reeson "Haunted" cums to mine with the addvent of this poste.

Jacob C.'s picture
Jacob C. from Astoria, Oregon is reading Doomed by Chuck December 27, 2013 - 1:37pm

his english is real special just like my english!

eirikodin's picture
eirikodin from Auburn, NY is reading Mediterranean Caper by Clive Cussler December 27, 2013 - 2:06pm

OMG, it's Chunk from the Goonies.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 27, 2013 - 2:17pm

Is it really harrasment?  I mean...it looks more like an old and ineffective joke.  And had Brandon not pointed out what the joke was about, I would wager that few people would make the connection themselves.  Or care. 

The real issue here isn't harrassment.  It's that the joke is pretty unoriginal and not just not funny. 

I think we should focus on making wittier, funnier jokes about Brandon and his writing.  It's a better use of time. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 27, 2013 - 2:20pm

Avery, I have to warn you that if you continue to harass Jacob in this manner I will have to take ameliorative action.

And Jacob:  she's right.  Be funnier.

Jacob C.'s picture
Jacob C. from Astoria, Oregon is reading Doomed by Chuck December 27, 2013 - 2:23pm

what do u mean

 

 

 

Brandon's picture
Brandon from KCMO is reading Made to Break December 27, 2013 - 2:25pm

You did all that work, but the thing that stuck out most to me was the timestamp.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 27, 2013 - 2:25pm

I mean you can rest easy.  I'm not going to let Averydoll harass you.  Sometimes she can be really mean.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books December 27, 2013 - 2:53pm

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry December 27, 2013 - 3:04pm

After that, Renee, I'm going to have another conversation with Kirk about getting a "Like" button in here.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books December 28, 2013 - 5:00am

There will never be a time when that GIF doesn't bring me the purest, most unadulterated joy.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 28, 2013 - 9:12am

I just feel like if a personis going to troll, it should be clever, new, and innovative. 

An example: When Sean and I were dating I told him I thought Jimi Hendrix was overrated just to get a reaction.  Basically face to face trolling.  I still use that joke over a year later.  He doesn't believe that I think that anymore, so it's not effective.  I killed the joke with my sheer laziness and lack of originality. 

Don't be like me, recycling the same old material day after day - troll after troll (time after time).  Give me a new angle!  Make me love you! 

Yes, yes...Brandon's writing is superficial with no depth.  I get it.  I'm no longer amused.  What else? 

Brandon's picture
Brandon from KCMO is reading Made to Break December 28, 2013 - 9:34am

Hey, I worked really hard to get this shallow!!