DaveShepherd's picture
DaveShepherd from Calgary is reading No Country for Old Men February 22, 2012 - 1:58pm

Here's the cliff-notes version of me:

I was detained and questioned in Cuba for... I'm still not sure, to be honest. My Spanish is limited to a slurred version "Dos cervezas, por favor!" I think I tried to buy cigars from the wrong person, and apparently that's frowned upon. Also frowned upon in Cuba -- bribes. Who knew?

I'm producing a short film based on a Stephen King short story this spring.

I need more writer/reader friends in my life. The last time I tried to convince my friends to read a book, the response was "Meh. If it's any good they'll make a movie out of it anyway."

As for my writing, I've published articles in small real estate magazines here in Calgary, and had a short film made from a (bad) script that I wrote. I'm guilty of not fully applying myself, which is something I'm working on changing.

I also began way too many of the above sentences with "I", and it's annoying me.

Clutch's picture
Clutch from Detroit Metro Area now living in Charlotte, NC is reading "The Spooky Art" by Norman Mailer February 22, 2012 - 2:04pm

Hi Dave,

My name is Ryan.

I'm new here too. Just joined five minutes ago.

Dig it.

 

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 22, 2012 - 2:09pm

Calgary! I live there. Nice winter, huh?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 22, 2012 - 2:11pm

Hi Dave!  Enjoy the site.  It's a nice place. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 22, 2012 - 2:14pm

Hey Dave, the other Dave will be along shortly with the whole "welcome to the pit" speech. 

Running jokes:

Trolls

Panda Porn

Chuck Norris

More Cowbell?

wickedvoodoo's picture
wickedvoodoo from Mansfield, England is reading stuff. February 22, 2012 - 2:27pm

That all sounds pretty swell ;-)

So which King short story are you helping to film? I like a lot of his short story work.

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 22, 2012 - 3:27pm

Welcome Dave! Please tell me someone finally had the guts to film King's "Survivor Type"....!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 22, 2012 - 3:33pm

Wow.  Survivor Type would be pretty intense.

@Dave Shepherd:  I think you might have to fight our other Dave Shepherd from Kentucky if he ever comes back.  Maybe some sort of honor duel for the right to keep your own name.  Just thinking out loud...in type-face.

@Dave and Clutch:  Welcome!

R.Moon's picture
R.Moon from The City of Champions is reading The Last Thing He Wanted by Joan Didion; Story Structure Architect by Victoria Lynn Schimdt PH.D; Creating Characters by the editors of Writer's Digest February 22, 2012 - 3:53pm

Welcome Dave... As well as Ryan.

~Rian

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 22, 2012 - 3:57pm

The Cuba thing was a joke???

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 22, 2012 - 4:03pm

Trending Jokes is better.

"Welcome fellow traveler! There's pie and beer a plenty in the world of Litreactor!"

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 22, 2012 - 4:07pm

Hello.

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 22, 2012 - 4:08pm

Is that the cocaine birthday clown?

Also, I know plenty of people who have had similar Cuban problems. We Canadians like to vacation ON THE EDGE.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 22, 2012 - 4:09pm

Yes it is.

 

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 22, 2012 - 4:10pm

 

It is done!

Also, be on the lookout for David Shephard, though I haven't seen him around lately.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 22, 2012 - 4:55pm
  • Is that the cocaine birthday clown?"

 

GIGITY YEAAHHHHHHHHHHH. BLAMY ZAZZMATAZZZ! I do cocaine! LOL

 

 

 

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 22, 2012 - 4:55pm

Thank you for posting Dave. Welcome to the pit other Dave

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 22, 2012 - 4:58pm

The Cocaine Clown looks like Kiss and The Villiage People went on on tour - and imploded/fused.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 22, 2012 - 5:01pm

Observe- he does cocaine. 

 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 22, 2012 - 5:02pm

I do c-c-c-c-cocaine!

DaveShepherd's picture
DaveShepherd from Calgary is reading No Country for Old Men February 23, 2012 - 11:24am

@ Meat Seeker: Calgary is alarmingly beautiful this time of year.

The Stephen King short story is The Boogeyman out of Night Shift -- it's the only one I have the budget for. Someone made "Survivor Type" (you can Google for the trailer, not sure if links are allowed). Haven't seen it, can't vouch for the quality.

The Cuba thing is legit. Short version: Rented a car, drove to Havana, met up with a guy who said he'd show me the city for 10 pesos, agreed because he was wearing a Quebec Nordiques hat and was therefore trustworthy, he showed me the city, and I asked about cigars.

He takes me down these back alleys to this building that would collapse if you leaned on it. We go up this narrow staircase to an iron door -- complete with those little slider things that open up so you can only see the other person's eyes. He says something in Spanish, they let us through. An ex Cuban boxing champion comes out -- scars, smashed up nose. They speak in Spanish. A cop appears behind me -- doesn't speak English (it's hit or miss whether a Cuban speaks English as well as Spanish, apparently they're taught it in school, but I was taught French in school and don't remember anything after "Je ne parle pas francais".) The tour guide tells me we have to follow the cop.

We end up at this hole in the wall police station. My tour guide ends up in handcuffs. I take a picture. He smiles. The one cop tells me I need to follow them to the main dispatch station. They take my tour guide away in a separate car, and I never see him again.

At the main station, a cop who can kinda-sorta speak English starts interrogating me about what happened. I repeat the lie my tour guide told me to tell "I was only trying to see how regular Cuban people live". He keeps asking about cigars. I keep lying. I tell him that smoking is a disgusting habit. He informs me that he smokes. I tell him Cuba is beautiful. He tells me that when I leave the police station, I shouldn't come back to Havana. And I don't -- but I do take a picture of him before leaving.

When I get back to Calgary, I tell this story to one of my friends. He laughs. Then says "You idiot, why didn't you just buy your cigars from the pool guy like everybody else?"

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 23, 2012 - 12:11pm

Oh Cuba. I will probably never get there, but if I do, I hope it is as adventure-y as that.

This weather is kind of freaking me out. I feel like it's either going to snow all summer, or continue being super warm and awesome until the entire city implodes. I'm not sure which is worse.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 12:22pm

Its 65 here....though...I think that is like 18 or 19 for you. You should be jealous, just thought I'd throw that out there hahaha, I used to live in Canada and I remember how god-awful cold it get and how I had to take vitamin D  but at least it's warmed up, can't wait to see the Whitecaps play again, I am hoping they have better season. 

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 23, 2012 - 12:59pm

It's a pretty balmy February up here. We've only been below zero during the day (water freezing zero, for all you non-metrics) for maybe a day or two here and there. I think I love leather jacket February. 18 would be nice, but then I couldn't make snowmen that melt the next day. And really, that's kind of the fun of winter.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 1:00pm

My friends in Europe tell me it has been really cold and snowy....climate change, go figure. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 23, 2012 - 2:23pm

Climate change:  exactly!  It's 81 degrees here today!  Totally unseasonal.  Withough climate change it would be a much more normal 80.75 degrees. 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 23, 2012 - 2:25pm

This is weird.

I have a toolbar that tells me the current temperature.

I've been monitoring it for days.

I'm serious.

It's 76 degrees right now.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 23, 2012 - 2:26pm

It has been a very stange winter here.  No snow at all.  It's nearly 70 today.  It should be around 40.  

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 2:26pm

HA! Well, I didn't mean to go all 'Green Party' with that. Haha, Climate Change is a natural process on this planet however, it is possible it can be.....sped up with the help of stuff we're doing. However over the last 50-100 years we have been coming out a cold period so it's really any ones guess. 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 23, 2012 - 2:27pm

It's all a conspiracy.

No, I'm kidding.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 2:29pm

Hahahaha, I have seen theories regarding that....not sure I buy into them....but makes you think

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 23, 2012 - 2:30pm

Just like the Reptilians.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 23, 2012 - 2:30pm

I haven't farted in three years because I'm terrified of the catastrophic global change.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 2:32pm

Reptilians"

 

Ha! If those crazy ass David Icke theories are true, then I share that blood line, and should be getting my invitation to Denver airport any day. 

Also @Utah LOL, thats awesome. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 23, 2012 - 2:34pm

I'm very tempted to have an internet fight about this subject...but I don't want to start another panda porn party.

 

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 23, 2012 - 2:36pm

Start a CLIMATE FIGHT! thread, so we don't ruin New Dave's welcome too badly ;)

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 2:38pm

Its all yours ladies. 

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig February 23, 2012 - 2:40pm

Can we see the pictures? I love random photos like that. I just bought Henry Rollins' Occupants which is full of a bunch of random photos of people (none while he was under arrest, though).

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 23, 2012 - 3:29pm

@Avery:  definitely start a climate change thread.  Just please put Al Gore's name in the title so I don't stumble into it accidentally.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 23, 2012 - 3:31pm

Its already up, Meat proved it with a graph and pirates. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 23, 2012 - 3:31pm

No.