avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 4, 2013 - 8:49am

I have to add the 2013 part because this has officially been going on for a freakin year, can you believe it?

So, this is a chance for everyone who is alive to let us know about it.  Also a fun "get to know you" experience. 

This is simple.  Answer the following questions, thus letting us know you are alive.  Lurkers - this is fun for you too!  You can just answer the questions and then go back to lurking.  No awkward conversation - unless you want one.

 

  1. Are you Alive?
  2. Do you have a nickname?
  3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of? 
  4. What song best describes your life right now?
  5. What kitchen utensil would you be?
  6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?
  7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?
  8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)?
  9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?
  10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?

voodoo_em's picture
voodoo_em from England is reading All the books by Ira Levin March 4, 2013 - 9:30am

1. Are you Alive?  Yes, my hearts beating and everything
2. Do you have a nickname? Mostly it's Em, although I have also been known as Evil Twin, Evil Em, Dave (long story) and my Dentist has called me Slim Slaney on a few occasions
3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Public services announcment advertisments from the 80's usually about strangers, or other such dangers.....urgh freaky!!
4. What song best describes your life right now? Angel in the Snow ~ Elliott Smith
5. What kitchen utensil would you be? A spoon
6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? So my dog can rip it out with her teeth and leave it all over the house just after I've hoovered
7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? A lot. Enough to cover the health and safty aspect for sure.
8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? When I was 20. I used to have a few penfriends (anyone remember those?) and also i used to run an oldskool style cutn'paste paper fanzine, so i used to have to post that to people.
9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? I'm always amazed that people remember who I am, let alone talk about me.
10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Mothers Day!! and Easter is at the end of March :)

 

Jonathan Riley's picture
Jonathan Riley from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland March 4, 2013 - 9:31am

1. Are you Alive? Yes
2. Do you have a nickname? JR, Jo-Nathan, Jo-Nate, J-Rile, J-Rizzle, Jo-Natural
3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of?  Mermaids
4. What song best describes your life right now?   Since I'm reading all this dystopic sci-fi for Teleport Us, I'll go with John Lennon's "Imagine" (also the title of my Utopia idea I scrapped and will come back to later)
5. What kitchen utensil would you be? Cheese grater
6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? To cushion the blow incase it hits you in the genitals
7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? I'd pay $15 dollars to watch it fly. Refer  to question three for why I wouldn't actually ride it.
8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? My thank you letters for college graduation in 2004.
9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I tell good stories. Don't know who started that one.
10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? I'm not sure if I know any March birthdays. There is this one day where everyone wears green and drinks alot of beer. I think it's fun but that's probably because I like to pretend like I'm Irish because of the origins of my last-name.
 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry March 4, 2013 - 10:12am
  1. Are you Alive?  I am!
  2. Do you have a nickname?  No.  Nicknames are for people named Nick.
  3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of?  Poverty.
  4. What song best describes your life right now? 
  5. What kitchen utensil would you be?  A...ladle.  You know the kind.
  6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?  In the early 1900's, unfuzzy tennis balls were being used, in the pornographic and prostitution industries, as sex toys.  A select group of "unscrupulous" doctors actually made a substantial amount of money removing the tennis balls from orifices into which they had been inserted.  In 1910, the International Tennis Foundation decreed that the standardized tennis ball must now be surfaced with a rougher substance (then, wool) in order to discourage said insertion and thus the besmirchment of the noble game of tennis.
  7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?  What does this have to do with pigs flying?
  8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)?  Two weeks ago.  Notice of Lien.  Business formal only.
  9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?  That I went to work in Albania at a nuclear power plant and joined the relatively obscure Cult of the Rainbow.  I did not, in fact, join this cult, but I did take a couple of brochures because their girls were relatively...friendly.  *No diseases were contracted in the making of this answer.
  10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?  March has Ides, and they can be pretty cool, as long as you're not a militarily brilliant despot who's not to discerning about his (or her!) friends.
jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like March 4, 2013 - 11:06am

1. Are you Alive? Indeed.
2. Do you have a nickname? "Jerms," most commonly.
3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Immortality/death/life.
4. What song best describes your life right now? Something instrumental.
5. What kitchen utensil would you be?  The fleischhammer.
6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Friction.
7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Depends on various market factors such as supply & demand, local wages, inflation, etc. 9LOL0
8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? A letter? Can't remember. A small package? Two--three weeks ago.
9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I attended an all-male boarding school. (Not true.)

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines March 4, 2013 - 2:02pm

Are you Alive? Existentially so.

Do you have a nickname? Dre, Drea, Dr. Dre, Drela...

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Religious zealots. 

What song best describes your life right now? I Go To Sleep, by the Kinks. 

What kitchen utensil would you be? A boning knife.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Because the tennis ball is black. 

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Pass. 

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? February and I sent two because I'm old school. 

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? I never hear the good ones because people fucking know better than that.  


Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month? Look at all the WRITERS! Our own Jonny Gibbings, Mess Jess, Laramore Black, a writer in my cohort: Katherine Scott Nelson, Robert Lanham of Hipster's Handbook, The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right, & Foodcourt Druids fame, Portland authors: Vanessa Veselka, Karen Karbo, Kevin Sampsell and Dr. Suess all in March! 

 

Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Apparently everthing goes on in June. See above.

 

Also, thank you Avery xoxoxo

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated March 4, 2013 - 2:36pm

Are you Alive? Yes.

Do you have a nickname? Yes.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Burns.

What song best describes your life right now? Lord I hope this Day is Good.

What kitchen utensil would you be? Knife.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?  Allows more control because of the drag, and lets it last longer.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Depending on the marketing, with the number of pig farms being lower in Western Kentucky (if it is like the town I grew up in) you wouldn't have much competition, but demand might be low too. I'd say around five dollars.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? December 2012.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I was in a coma.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month? No.

Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? College play offs can be interesting.

XyZy's picture
XyZy from New York City is reading Seveneves and Animal Money March 4, 2013 - 2:39pm
  1. Are you Alive? Like Mr. Desiato, I'll be spending the month dead for tax purposes.
  2. Do you have a nickname? A few: Clinticon, Scratch, Music-Clint (to differentiate me from Physics-Clint,) Clintopherson, Robot, and when I was a freshman in college, Baby-Clint. I also had a friend who called me Sandoval, but he's the only one who did, so I don't think it's much of a nickname.
  3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Hmm... can't think of anything. I'm usually excited by and attracted to weird things.
  4. What song best describes your life right now? Carly Simon's "You're so Vain"
  5. What kitchen utensil would you be? A corkscrew... but not the good one. The crappy one your guests pick out and fiddle with for five minutes before you get out the one that works.
  6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Well, once a tennis ball reaches a cetain age, all sorts of changes happen all over its body...
  7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Nothin' doin', but I'll give you $50 to let it fly me home from your farm... my knee's acting up.
  8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Last week.
  9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? I heard that my playwriting teacher once said I'd be a brilliant writer if I "didn't waste time with all that music crap."
  10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Well... St. Patrick's Day is in March. And sometimes Mardi Gras too, but not this year. Crawfish Festival... Cherry Blossom Festival... Frozen Dead Guys Days... The Penis Festival/Honen Matsuri...Also, Spring.
Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On March 4, 2013 - 3:14pm

1. Are you Alive?  For certain. Having work/money problems makes you feel as alive as ever.


2. Do you have a nickname? D, D-Nope, Ronny James Dino.


3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of? What Drea said. Or to quote astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson: "The worrisome issue isn't that 85% of the science community doesn't believe in god; it's that 15% still do."


4. What song best describes your life right now? Without You, by Harry Nilsson.


5. What kitchen utensil would you be? The mandolin. Blood is inevitable.


6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? So you'd feel mildly icky when you handle one.


7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Something like that should be free.


8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? I'd say around the middle of January. Thank-you notes between us have always been hand-written and mailed.


9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I'm found more appealing to the ladies than I believe, but I'm willing to bet it's men who are spreading that around.


10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? An inexpensive month for a change, so no.

Stephen_Inf's picture
Stephen_Inf from Illinois is reading Whiskey Tango Foxtrot March 4, 2013 - 5:54pm

1.  Are you Alive? Noooo... yesss! Works every time.
2.  Do you have a nickname? Just your generic variations on the name Steve. None that I particularly enjoy.
3.  What is a weird thing you're afraid of? I've realized lately that nothing I'm afraid of is really that weird in comparison to other people. Most recently I met someone who is afraid of snowmen and ketchup. I just can't top that.
4.  What song best describes your life right now? Land of Confusion.
5.  What kitchen utensil would you be? Spatula.
6.  Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? It's a metaphor. If you don't get it, I'm not going to try and explain it to you.
7.  If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Do all pigs fly, or just yours? It might lose its novelty if they all do. Then again people pay to ride ponies and camels and such. If it's all pigs, I'd say maybe $10. I figure double what people pay for pony rides since it's flying and all that. If it's only your pigs, you could charge whatever you want. Just as long as bags fly free.
8.  When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? September of 2003. It was to an ex-girlfriend that I was trying to get back together with, letting her know that I moved, giving her my new number and the like. She did call... eventually. Of course it was a little late by then seeing as I met my future wife and all that.
9.  What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? People at work believe the scar on my wrist is from a botched suicide attempt.
10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? My father and my nephew share a birthday which also happens to be Easter Sunday so that's fun. Aside from that March blows. March through July, really. August through January's where it's at.

leah_beth's picture
leah_beth from New Jersey - now in Charleston, SC is reading five different books at once. March 4, 2013 - 6:01pm

Hello! I'm doing this instead of, oh, working on stuff, because I'm brain-dead. Don't expect much. :D

Are you Alive? Yes.

Do you have a nickname? At home, Mom, or Leah Bean. In high school I was Leah Q. Round these parts I am sometimes LB and I love that.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Clowns and storm drains. Also, tall buildings where the top sways - they make me pass out. In high school I had to be carried off the Washington Monument in a classic, "This one time...at band camp..." moment.

What song best describes your life right now? It would NOT be "I think we're alone now" by Tiffany.

What kitchen utensil would you be? A wooden spoon.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? So dogs will enjoy chewing on them.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? 25 cents.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Probably Christmas thank yous? Yeah. And I signed the kiddo's name, not mine.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? I almost just said something dirty.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? On Friday I fly to Tulsa, Oklahoma for my brother's surprise 40th birthday shindig. While I'm there, we'll also be celebrating my father's 60th. March 3rd was my grandfather's birthday - he'd have been about 92 or 93 I think. He never called me anything other than my full name - Leah Beth - and it's in his honor that I tend to use that for all my online names (though no one in real life calls me that anymore).

Dogmeat42's picture
Dogmeat42 from Long Island, NY is reading House of Leaves March 4, 2013 - 8:55pm

I'm been a bit of a lurker here for a while, so I suppose this is as good a time as any to introduce myself.

  1. Are you Alive?   I just got out of a hour and a half kung fu class.  Every cell in my body is reminding me that I am alive.
  2. Do you have a nickname?  There are some that call me....James.  Dogmeat is obviously my real name.
  3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of?  GMO food.  Yeah, I'm one of those people.
  4. What song best describes your life right now?  I'm going with Trollhammaren by Finntroll- partly because it is the song I am listening to at the moment, but mostly because it is in Finnish and I can't understand a word of it.
  5. What kitchen utensil would you be?  Spatula
  6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?  In the early 1940's scientists discovered that a tennis ball with fuzz holds over 350% more dog slobber in it than a tennis ball without.
  7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?   If you have a farm with flying pigs, I advise going into hiding.  You just lost a lot of people bets they were planning on never loosing.
  8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)?  Letter?  Mail?  USPS?  What is it all supposed to mean??
  9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?  That I have money. 
  10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?  Nope but I do have a late Feburary birthday.  The best thing that happens in March is the winter starts to go away.
drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines March 4, 2013 - 9:00pm

You guys! We're all FUNNY! And awesome. 

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies March 4, 2013 - 11:40pm

Are you Alive? Yeah, think so. Bit bipolar, but that's nothing new.

Do you have a nickname? Well when I was little my parents called me Dickie.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Falling down stairs and ripping my toenails off.

What song best describes your life right now? Paranoid Android by Radiohead

What kitchen utensil would you be? Spork, duh.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? That's very personal, and a little inappropriate.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? $20

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Today!

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? Involves two ladies from "down under."

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Not me!

Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter March 5, 2013 - 1:29am

Are you Alive? I really did try today. I really fucking did.

Do you have a nickname? I've a nickname for every occasion. Beka (and other varied spellings like Becca, Becka), Becks, Becky, Backster, Roboxacet, Bekanator, Baconator, Rebnation. Only one of those isn't actually a nickname.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Sexual sadists. But that isn't that weird, is it?

What song best describes your life right now? "The Modern Age" by Exitmusic

What kitchen utensil would you be? A spoon, because I scoop shit up. And I like soup, so it just seems right, you know?

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? I'm kind of going through a real 70's kick, but that kind of look needs dedication.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Easily $100 if you threw in a handy-jay.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Does Canada Post count? Does a signed book count? Because two weeks ago.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? Apparently I was a total raver when I was fourteen.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month? My friend's baby was born on February 29th last year but they celebrate his birthday in March. Or at least they chose to. By the way I attended a baby's first birthday and the same night I had a dream that I was losing teeth. Clearly some weird shit's going on in my head.

Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Winter usually settles and the grass turns that shade of yellow gold that I really like. It's like gentle depression. Kind of nice, right?

voodoo_em's picture
voodoo_em from England is reading All the books by Ira Levin March 5, 2013 - 2:48am

@LEAH ~ Clown in a drain !!!!

 

And yeah, I'm scared of clowns too :S

 

@Richard ~ I once had my big toenail pulled out so I can confirm it is something to be scared of :)

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated March 5, 2013 - 3:19am

I'm going to guess Baconator is not a nickname! Didn't we email about that once?

leah_beth's picture
leah_beth from New Jersey - now in Charleston, SC is reading five different books at once. March 5, 2013 - 4:25am

EM!!!!! That is EXACTLY my fear!

One time, my dogs were barking at a gap in my fence that leads to a storm drain. I walked over to see what was up...and atop the storm drain was a YELLOW BALLOON!

I ran away. I really did. Not messing with that shit.

voodoo_em's picture
voodoo_em from England is reading All the books by Ira Levin March 5, 2013 - 6:55am

^ that is an awesomely frightening story :)

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons March 5, 2013 - 10:06am

Are you Alive? More so than last year
Do you have a nickname? I don't, and i think that's kind of sad. I always wanted one. 
What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Loosing my glasses during another Holocost or Zombie war
What song best describes your life right now? That one that goes "only miss the road when your missing home," etc. 
What kitchen utensil would you be? somebody already said spoon, but I'm taking that one too. Wooden spoon, stirring everything together.
Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? I don't know, so duce.
If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Breed them and sell the actual pigs foro more. 
When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? I think i was a teen-ager, mailing to my best friend Leigh who moved away. 
What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? There isn't one and i think it's kind of sad. I always wanted a good rumor going around. Well, some people are whispering that I'm trying to write fiction.  
Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Ides of March. That was a big one for certain people! It's always kind of a creepy day. Plus Easter is March 31. That's a big day. And, the Easter Bunny comes around March 30. 

Jonathan Riley's picture
Jonathan Riley from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland March 5, 2013 - 10:40am

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? There isn't one and i think it's kind of sad

 

Hey, did everyone hear about that time that Covewriter lost her glasses during the Zombie Holocost and accidently made out with the Easter Bunny and a flying pig? At the same time. True story! 

 

 

 

 

*You're welcome*

 

 

 

 

 

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter March 5, 2013 - 10:42am

@Dwayne: Baconator IS a nickname. One of my friends calls me that in text messages. I mean, it was a joke, but it was a joke that became REAL.

@Leah: That would probably freak me out where I afraid of clowns. Fiction idea, right?

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres March 5, 2013 - 10:54am


Are you Alive? After being buried in the Pet Sematary over the weekend, I am alive again, yes.


Do you have a nickname?  Zodiac, or the Zodiac Killer


What is a weird thing you're afraid of? eyes and anything having to do with them. red in the whites. the thought of eye surgery. the thought of what "detached cornea" represents. seeing people put their contact lenses in.


What song best describes your life right now?  either "Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog or "Face Down, Ass Up" by 2 Live Crew


What kitchen utensil would you be?   fork you


Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? how else would blind people play tennis?


If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?  well, if you charge your standard $3.99 for the first minute, $0.99 for each additional minute, that comes out to $12.90.


When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)?  I'm planning on sending a strongly worded letter to the Kroger for not carrying regular Cadbury Eggs, does that count?

 

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?  In high school, people always assumed I did a lot of drugs because I wasn't like them. I'd hear people say that I was super high in some class or at some party, which was funny, because I never did drugs nor did I go to their lame parties, I was just from Iowa. I also heard a rumor that I was a writer once, but I think that was just my girlfriend being nice.


Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?  I think only tornadoes

wavedomer's picture
wavedomer from Boise is reading Rum Punch March 5, 2013 - 2:14pm

Are you Alive? Yeah.

Do you have a nickname? Jay, JRock, Dad

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Being reincarnated into a whale.

What song best describes your life right now? Stranglehold by Ted Nugent

What kitchen utensil would you be? Spork

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? It's oddly comforting to rub that fuzz on your face before you serve. Especially before your second serve when down a break. (Tennis humor yo!)

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? It depends, but I think not much. If pigs flew, they probably wouldn't be eaten as much, so there would be a lot of pigs. So the supply would drive prices down. And you think bird poop is bad?

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Dunno

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I have my shit together.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? No bdays. No anniversaries. St. Patrick's Day. March Madness, if you like basketball or gambling in office pools.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters March 5, 2013 - 2:46pm

@J-Rile – you should have never revealed these nicknames to me.

@Utah – Welcome to LitReactor!!

@Leah – Was the rumor that you almost said something dirty?

@Richard – I knew I’d find your line or appropriateness eventually.

@Bek – I call you Baconator quite often.

@Sean -   …  the new 2013 rates are about to take effect.

 

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons March 5, 2013 - 4:00pm

Thanks Jonathan!

leah_beth's picture
leah_beth from New Jersey - now in Charleston, SC is reading five different books at once. March 5, 2013 - 6:41pm

@Cove - if you're interested in the Holocaust and zombies, man, do I have a book for you.

@Avery - why yes, yes, it was. 

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series March 5, 2013 - 7:26pm

Are you Alive?
Yessir, Ma'am. Alive and perky. 

Do you have a nickname?
I used to be called Kiki. Some call me Fist Kitten. Some call me tasty.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of?
Symmetry. I HATE that shit.

What song best describes your life right now?
Polka Never Dies - The Dreadnoughts

What kitchen utensil would you be?
Immersion blender. They're useful but under appreciated.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?
I'd imagine it has something to do with aerodynamics. Damn lazy tennis players and their slow balls.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?
I'd probably pay up to $2.50. Canadian.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)?
I think it's been a couple years. Of course I've never used USPS. Unless I'm on the receiving end. 

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?
Oh there's some good ones. Most of them are true though.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?
I have no idea. But I have to go stop a toddler from beating me up using brass knuckles made of cheese strings. GOODBYE, Internet!

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons March 5, 2013 - 8:22pm

Leah Beth, are you talking about WWZ? I read it and the movie promo looks so scary.

Jonathan Riley's picture
Jonathan Riley from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland March 5, 2013 - 8:54pm

I believe she was talking about the book I'm reading right now Cove. It's really good!

 

 

 

 

*FYI

Leah Beth=Leah Rhyne

OtisTheBulldog's picture
OtisTheBulldog from Somerville, MA is reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz March 6, 2013 - 2:58am

What kitchen utensil would you be? A baster - plastic javelin straight slathering turkies far and near til the juices run clear.

Meredith_103's picture
Meredith_103 March 6, 2013 - 5:27am

Are you Alive? Yes, just barely
Do you have a nickname? Not that I am aware of...but in HS some people called me Megadeth.
What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Crowds
What song best describes your life right now? Boulevard of Broken Dreams
What kitchen utensil would you be? A butcher knife
Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? To soften the blow when someone gets hit? IDK.
If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? $100
When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? High school, maybe... unless thank you notes count. Or birthday cards?
What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I don't exist. My two (much more attractive than me) siblings went to the same college and apparently there was an interest in the idea of a third sister until somebody determined I was a made-up person. 
Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Not for me. March is a slow month.

leah_beth's picture
leah_beth from New Jersey - now in Charleston, SC is reading five different books at once. March 6, 2013 - 1:34pm

JR is right, Cove. :) I was totally, secretly plugging my own book! Hahahahaahahaha.  :)

Colton Adrian's picture
Colton Adrian from Williamsburg, VA is reading a book about souls March 6, 2013 - 3:20pm

Are you Alive? Yes, I am living. This is different than simply exsisting.
Do you have a nickname? Your mom calls me Daddy ;)
What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Getting a STD - The reason i never take off my condom...
What song best describes your life right now? Poeitc Justice, Kendrick Lamar.
What kitchen utensil would you be? The Brave Little Toaster.
Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? To cuddle with it.
If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?  You'd better have the pig tied down with a long rope, or else the price wouldn't matter, as I would be far gone. Flying away on your piggy.
When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? A couple months ago to a buddy incarceranted. He has since been let free.
What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? '' Is that Colton? I heard he's the reincarnation of Jesus Christ...''
Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?  No birthdays I'm aware of. & things happen worthwhile everyday. One just not might notice.

Strange Photon's picture
Strange Photon from Fort Wayne, IN is reading Laurie Anderson lyrics March 7, 2013 - 7:42am

Are you alive? The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

Do you have a nickname? Several: Chief Dave, Happy Fun Dave, Dave the Grape, Pokey, the Mean Armenian, and DayDay

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? The only thing that I've ever had even the remotest fear of is horses. I don't know why. I've never been on one, never had a bad experience with one, they just terrify the fuck out of me.

What song best describes your life right now? David Gray's "Dead in the Water Now" or Incubus' "Pardon Me (While I Burst into Flames) or Johnny Cash's "Hurt" (Yes, asshole, I know Nine Inch Nails wrote the song, but Cash's version is more soulful, so fuck you, you know-it-all prick)

Excuse me, sorry about that. Now you see why my fam and friends call me Happy Fun Dave.  ;)

What kitchen utensil would you be? a cleaver

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Why anything?

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a ten minute ride around the farm? A ride on the pig, or on you? I imagine the value of either would be vastly different from that of the other.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? When you're locked up, access to email is kaput. Haven't written a letter on paper since then, though.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? "He didn't just beat that motherfucker, he actually took a bite out of him!"

Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? My own is today, 35. My cousin, who's in the Marines at the moment, was yesterday. Germany's re-conquering of the Rhineland happened on this day in 1936. 

Does anything worthwhile happen in March? Hmmm... the illusion of worth is a tricky one.

Strange Photon's picture
Strange Photon from Fort Wayne, IN is reading Laurie Anderson lyrics March 7, 2013 - 7:44am

@Colton: that yo mama crack was worth the price of admission here. Classic!

John Loeffler's picture
John Loeffler from Brooklyn, NY is reading Gallatian Canyon by Tom McGuane March 7, 2013 - 12:48pm

1. Are you Alive?  Yes, been busy past month doing edits on my first book and grinding out twoshort stories. I’m also moving back to Brooklyn from Queens, so I’ve been absent. Apologies.


2. Do you have a nickname? None that I know of. I hope the ones I don’t know of are flattering.


3. What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Dolls. Porcelain Dolls. Their eyes follow you and I swear to God, they move when you’re not looking at them.


4. What song best describes your life right now? “Let it Roll” by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band


5. What kitchen utensil would you be? SPOOOOOOON!!!


6. Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? To protect the sensitive underlayer that’s been hurt too many times before. Really though, it's just waiting for the right person.

7. If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Depends on where you live. Supply x Demand and all that. If you live in North Carolina, I imagine everybody’d have a pig of their own. In NYC, an easy fifty to a hipster who’s visiting your urban rooftop farm.


8. When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Since my day job is being a Letter Carrier with the USPS, I cannot in good conscience answer this question and look myself in the mirror. 


9. What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? I haven’t heard anything, what are they saying about me?


10. Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? Dad would have been 68 on March 30th. R.I.P. Dad.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig March 7, 2013 - 5:41pm

Are you Alive? yeahmm.


Do you have a nickname? There is still one friend of mine that calls me "Big Rig"... my old Marine Corps nickname. Believe me, its funnier if I don't explain t.


What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Ventriloquist dummies.


What song best describes your life right now? yakety sax

What kitchen utensil would you be? A knife? Maybe? A cupcake tin? I'm not sure.


Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? For aerodynamics, obviously. (I have no idea).


If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? If they had always been able to fly, I'd say about $5. If they suddenly became capable of flying and you trained them, I think you could get $50-100, at least until the novelty wore off.


When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Last year when the HusBANG was in Afghanistan.


What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?  That I'm rich and only pretending not to be. Oh man, I wish that were TRRRRUUUUUUUUEEEE.


Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? My brother and my cousin have March birthdays.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts March 7, 2013 - 7:29pm

Are you Alive? Questionable
Do you have a nickname? Who??
What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Fast food service
What song best describes your life right now? Either Pere Ubu's LIFE STINKS or their HUMOR ME depending
What kitchen utensil would you be? Melon Baller
Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Because the material tennis balls are housed in are actually the scrotal sacs of dead clowns
If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? a ha'penny
When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Last time I was in a mixtape trading group probably, last year maybe
What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That's I'm dead.
Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? There's March Madness right? I haven't watched basketball in a while.

Ian's picture
Ian from Texas is reading Low Down Death Right Easy by J. David Osborne March 7, 2013 - 7:57pm

Are you Alive? Barely.

Do you have a nickname? Several.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Definitely dolls. Definitely porcelain dolls and those shiny little, everywhere eyes.

What song best describes your life right now? Either Prison Sex by Tool or Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen.

What kitchen utensil would you be? A zester.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Because it's artisanal.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? A case of Tic-Tacs? I'm bad at business.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? You mean like the letter "A" or "B"? Otherwise, I don't understand the question.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? That I was a Norwegian foreign exchange student here in the States to train for the Winter Olympics. In Louisiana. A tiny town in Louisiana.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? WAR2 wraps up.

voodoo_em's picture
voodoo_em from England is reading All the books by Ira Levin March 8, 2013 - 2:45am

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? Because the material tennis balls are housed in are actually the scrotal sacs of dead clowns

That's my favorite answer so far, it so damn freaky :)

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons March 9, 2013 - 6:50pm

I don't really like zombies though. I just don't want to loose my glasses if I have to escape them. And, check out World War Z. The movie will star Brad Pitt.

mattymillard's picture
mattymillard from Wolverhampton, England is reading Curse of the Wolf Girl - Martin Millar March 10, 2013 - 4:26pm

Are you Alive? Just about. It's getting late
Do you have a nickname? Many. Shaft (I look just like him), Matty M, Millie Vanilli and Fat Duck. Serves me right for thinking up so many for others
What is a weird thing you're afraid of? I used to have this regular daydream of falling down the stairs whilst carrying a glass, breaking it on the way and landing on it, stabbing me through the heart. That wasn't nice
What song best describes your life right now? David Bowie - Ch ch ch changes!
What kitchen utensil would you be? A cake tin (I probably wouldn't be very useful though, the cake would never come out)
Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? To keep it warm. Its a chilly world outside that there tube.
If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? Seven carrots and a rusty nail.
When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Never, but in the UK about 4 years I think!
What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? One of my friends keeps telling everyone I'm pregnant. I don't think it'll catch on.
Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? St Patricks Day and Easter are good fun. Some people get ghost birthdays if the 29th Feb doesn't exist. I don't cos I wasn't born then.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin March 10, 2013 - 4:42pm


Are you Alive?

Apparently so.

Do you have a nickname?

Montage. Back in my pro Halo days I was known by RL friends for my video editing and attempts to pull off flashy tricks.

What is a weird thing you're afraid of?

I'm afraid that when people are nice to me it means they intend to trick me into some utterly humiliating situation.

What song best describes your life right now?

Let 'em Come, Scroobius Pip.

What kitchen utensil would you be?

A rolling pin.

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?

To remind people to play on dry clay courts.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm?

The law of supply and demand insists that I wonder how many pigs can fly. If you have the only flying pig then the potentials are limitless.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)?

I am not technically allowed to write the letters, as they are supposed to come from constituents I meet during my shift, but I often get a "primer letter" ready on the top sheet of the pad and then mail the rest off.. actually the receptionist does that. On a weekly basis.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself?

I don't listen to Rumors. Fleetwood Mac sucks.

Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?

Saint Patricks. Also my sister's birthday.

Wonder Woman's picture
Wonder Woman from RI is reading 20th Century Ghosts March 10, 2013 - 10:31pm

Are you Alive? Yep! Though feeling fatigued. 

Do you have a nickname? Mel

What is a weird thing you're afraid of? sharks, dentists 

What song best describes your life right now? The Coffee Song by Ralph

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_BG_8Wjo88&sns=em

What kitchen utensil would you be? Coffee scoop

Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? If I told you then I'd have to kill you.

If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? I'm thinking like $5 for a few minutes.

When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? a week ago. I love sending cards & letters to people.

What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? I'm a screamer...in the movie theater. I'm very jumpy & reactionary during horror flicks, which I love.


Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March?

March has always been a great month for me... I was engaged in March, moved into our first house in March & had our first baby in March! My pixie just turned nine & was born on Dr. Seuss's 100th birthday. Also...St. Patrick's Day, occasionally Easter & it's the second year in a row that the children's theater production I directed was performed at our school. Lots of wonder and delight in March for us! (Which is why I'm in constant need of C-O-F-F-E-E.)

SRead's picture
SRead from Colorado is reading Stories March 15, 2013 - 5:00pm

Are you Alive? Yes, but please don't ask me to prove it today.
Do you have a nickname? Yes, several. Lately: "Mom.mom.mom.mom.mom.mom."
What is a weird thing you're afraid of? Populations (of any kind) and my teeth falling out.
What song best describes your life right now? Music makes me uncomfortable.
What kitchen utensil would you be? My tea kettle.
Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball? To hide what's underneath.
If pigs could fly how much could I realistically charge for a 10 minute ride around the farm? I need more information before I can answer this.
When was the last time you wrote someone a letter (on paper and mailed it USPS)? Monday.
What's the best rumor you've heard about yourself? In eighth grade my schoolmates thought I was a for-realsies witch. Then that really awful witch movie came out, and one of the snotty girls had an identity crisis and asked to join my "coven". Of course I said yes. Best. Semester. Ever.
Almost forgot - any birthdays or anniversaries this month?  Also...does anything worthwhile happen in March? This week is the two-year anniversary of me buying my own house, which was a dream of mine. Tradition dictates that something very expensive will explode any minute now.