I took a month off and did a lot of stuff that didn’t involve paying attention to if you were alive or not. But I’m back. Here I am. Ta-dah! I’ll be back at the Community Spotlights soon enough and might have news on a new WAR format and thingies within the next few months. Stay tuned.
ANYWAY – for anyone who is new/just not aware – this is the (usually) monthly thread to get to know your Lit-Neighbors and make some friends. I’ll list some personal and invasive questions and you should answer them, read other people’s answers, and comment/discuss/talk to each other. Mostly, just let us all know you’re alive and what you have going on.
Here we go…
- Are you Alive?
- Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)?
- What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific.
- What writing projects are you working on right now?
- What’s your favorite smell?
- Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it?
- What do you do when you cannot sleep?
- What is your favorite lie that you have ever told?
- Do you have a Valentine this year?
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When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story)
1. Are you Alive? Ja.
3. What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. W/o cheese. I like cheese on other sandwiches, but prefer a hamburger without it.
4. What writing projects are you working on right now? Small ones.
5. What’s your favorite smell? Unburnt pipe tobacco, maybe. Maybe pipe smoke. Maybe coffee.
6. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Probably not. N/A
7. What do you do when you cannot sleep? Same stuff as when I am not trying to sleep and not at work.
8. What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? Don't have a favorite lie.
9. Do you have a Valentine this year? No/not yet.
10. When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Probably the massacre one.
Am I alive? Barely. Insomniac wife + insomniac son + a head full of story ideas + a dog in the apartment upstairs running around at 3am = a slight feeling of tiredness
Nothing of any significance has ever happened in February. Start saving for my birthday gifts though - you have until November to get the cash together.
Favourite burger? Anything but a chicken burger - anyone who chooses to eat chicken when beef is an option is a truly despicable person.
One writing project - a female serial killer novel that I'm putting through the workshop, but you knew that already...
Favourite smell? This weird hybrid chemical/meaty broth smell you get in places that print photos.
Unrequited love? A cancer that afflicted me throughout my teenage years. Sent flowers to the hottest girl in school on Valentine's quoting LL Cool J lyrics? Check. Get drunk and cry at a party when your best friend hooks up with a girl? Check. Write about a girl in a diary on your computer (yeah, I know) when you get home from school every day? Check...
When I can't sleep I try to sleep.
Favourite lie? I don't lie ever.
Valentine this year will be my wife, who has to work on Valentine's so I have to take her out to dinner another night when prices are back to normal. And I get the flowers from her shop. BOOM!
I took a girl to see 'Dead Ringers' (Cronenberg, evil gynaecologists) and she left during the opening credits. I took a girl to see 'Audition' (Japanese horror) and she had her hands over her eyes for 45 minutes. Also went to a dinner party hosted by Evangelical Christians and suggested we watch 'Superbad ' after dinner. That was a loooong uncomfortable silence...
Are you Alive? Yes!
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? January was the anniversary of me joining the USMC and my kid's birthday. February is my step-dad's birthday.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Bacon, avocado, cheese, thick medium patty, brioche bun. The local restaurant down the street does this well and you can add a chili aoili to it which really puts it over the top.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Novel project.
What’s your favorite smell? Aqua Di Gio men's cologne.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Robert Downey Jr. never returns my phone calls...
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Read.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? When people ask me about my tattoos I make up ridiculous stories about their "meaning" for fun.
Do you have a Valentine this year? I do!
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Worst Valentine's Day was probably the one when St. Valentine was martyred, right? I think yes.
Oh, okay, yea JYH-- you might be right about the worst Valentine's Day...
No way, if you got massacred on Valentine's day you would be dead and therefore wouldn't have to endure 24 hours of mild loneliness.
Are you Alive? YES. I think. I'm waiting for it to snow. In South Carolina. And if that's not alive, I don't know what is. (Incidentally, I am also having to have a convo with my FIVE YEAR OLD about NOT HAVING A SECRET BOYFRIEND!)
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? My eighth wedding anniversary, so that's fun.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Cheddar, bacon, guacamole. YUM.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Book 3 in my zombie series. Stay tuned for potential whoring of it in the future.
What’s your favorite smell? I love citrus, lavendar, things like that. Also sweaty kid and clean man.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? All the cute man movie stars. They don't ever seem to notice me.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Take an Ativan and hope for the best. I HATE not being able to sleep.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? When she was small, my husband and I had our daughter convinced that at night, giant monkeys ate the sun, and in the morning they pooped it out.
Do you have a Valentine this year? Yes, except I HATE Valentine's Day and we don't celebrate it because we're curmudgeons.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) The movie (Valentine's Day) was remarkably bad. Does that count?
Are you Alive? Si.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? None this month, mercifully.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Firstly, it MUST be grilled, not fried, and medium at most. Bacon, guac, lettuce, pickle, tomatos, and garlic aoili.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Several unfinished short stories in order to get a collection put together.
What’s your favorite smell? It's between freshly ground coffee, rain, and the smell of naturally, non-perfumy shampoo/conditioner on a post-showered woman.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Once in college. Learned my lesson. I've since come to realize that you don't want unrequited love. All true love should be conditional
What do you do when you cannot sleep? I can never not sleep. On the rare times I can't get there, I lie on my back and try to read. About five minutes is all it takes.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? Does someone mistakenly thinking you're someone else--and you don't say anything to correct them--count? Because I had a guy who thought I was a building inspector basically confess that he was cheating on his wife with the bank rep on the project I was on because he thought I was a coworker in on it. I was too far in to stop him...even if I'd wanted to:)
Do you have a Valentine this year? Nope. Not a fan anyway. Commercialized nonsense.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) I don't have the energy to scrape that deep in my dumpster.
Are you Alive? I am going to buck the trend and say NO! I am a zombie. GWAAHRHRHH!
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? My Grandfather, Feb 1st
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. 5 guys - lotsa shit on it. If I am really drunk... Whataburger.
What writing projects are you working on right now? My first novel Worm in the Heart. Which I am posting in the workshop (hint hint)
What’s your favorite smell? Gasoline and gunpowder.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Yes. Genevieve. Don't feel like talking about it.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Watch movies or read.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? That I had sex with a prostitute when I was in Thailand. When in truth, I chickened out. Which was probably the best decision.
Do you have a Valentine this year? I do. Michelle. But fuck valentines day.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) There have been a few.
Lookit Dino stealing my bacon/guac on a burger combo. THIEF!!!!!
1. Are you Alive? YES!
2. Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? I turned 32 on Jaunuary 5th. My neice Stella Lee turned 5 on the 12th. My Dad's B-day is Feb 19th my best friend on the 23rd. And two of the coolest people I know just got married!
3. What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Fat, Medium, Ketchup, Mustard, Pickle, Letuce, Bacon, Cheddar, and I'm now dying to try Guac, on my burger. Sounds amazing.
4. What writing projects are you working on right now? Mostly short stories and flash fiction.
5. What’s your favorite smell? Bacon!
6. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? No one ever loves me back.
7. What do you do when you cannot sleep? Drink, write, read, watch Netflix. But I usually can't sleep because I'm too busy doing those things.
8. What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I try not to lie.
9. Do you have a Valentine this year? No. I'm going to eat choclate cake, drink rum and coke, and watch Rom Coms with a box of Klee-nex close by.
10. When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Could be this one. Depends on how bad these movies are.
Welcome back, lady Of the Dead!
Are you Alive? Dangerously so!
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Hmmm.. hmmm... Yes! No, I can't think of one. Oh yes! One best friend's birthday today.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. I'm also on the bacon avocado thick-medium with tabasco and lettuce.
What writing projects are you working on right now? A story in Italian that was born a short story and is now becoming a novelette or novella. They grow up so fast!
What’s your favorite smell? Coffee. And love. You know, when you like someone's scent even when he stinks.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Yes! I periodically fall in silent love for months and keep very secretive about it. I feel so unrequited those days.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Trick myself into thinking I'm sleeping already. It works.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? "Sorry, I've got pubic lice." (does not always work this one)
Do you have a Valentine this year? Periodically, it turns out one is never secretive enough about one's silent unrequitedness. Likely my thoughts are pretty loud, but with some luck I still may find a good place to hide in the next couple weeks.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Don't know. Can't remember.
Are you Alive? Yes
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Meh, calendars, whatever.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Medium rare, no bun, Havarti or pepper jack (two pieces), self-made.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Same book, need inspiration, or something…
What’s your favorite smell? Victoria’s secret Love Spell, my boy’s hair, sweet potatoes.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Who hasn’t? How about unrequited lust, now there’s a long list… Do you…feel like talking about it? Sure- she got fatter, my wife’s way hotter/nicer/more fun/smarter/basically everything… and I got handsomer, haw, haw. Honestly, couldn't care any less these days.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Shot of vodka or rum. Maybe wine.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? Damn, what a good question, wish I had a good answer. I like all my lies that I got away with, I think.
Do you have a Valentine this year? If the Mrs. counts, but we don’t do “love day.”
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) The one that didn’t happen when she texted the day of (this is before smart phones) and cancelled to supposedly study math with her friends or something like that. That was it with her, but I did snidely mention how good I was at math, too bad she didn’t ask me for help. For the record, my wife’s way hotter than her, too. Haw, haw.
Are you Alive? Pearl Jam says yes.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February? Going to Seattle at the end of Feb during AWP (not for the conference, but friends)
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Kobe. For a chain, I like Smashburger.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Not writing, and enjoying the reprieve
What’s your favorite smell? petrichor (rain after a dry spell)
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Exclusively. I'm told it's bad for the skin.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Embrace it. I stay up until I fall over, anyway, so I never just lie there trying.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I convinced a coworker on my first day that we'd slept together in college and that she'd forgotten.
Do you have a Valentine this year? No
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? They've all been the same except for one. My best, though, was in college with my then-best friend—someone I not-quite-secretly had stronger feelings for. She'd had this romantic evening planned, but her boyfriend had to bail, and so she invited me to play surrogate. That was a good day.
Are you Alive? Oh, I bet you say that to all the girls...
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Nothing comes to mind, but I'm notorious for forgetting birthdays and anniversaries...
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Right now I enjoy a nice medium cooked burger with swiss cheese, garlic mayo, avocado, lettuce and tomato. But that's apt to change; last year it was medium-rare, swiss, lettuce, sweet chili sauce (kind of like a chutney) and a fried egg.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Working on a couple screenplays for my sister to direct.
What’s your favorite smell? Coffee. It's one of the few things I can smell.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Every chance I get.
Do you…feel like talking about it? A gentleman doesn't not-kiss and tell.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? What I do every night, try to take over the world. That and watch documentaries.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I don't remember.
Do you have a Valentine this year? I'm just going to leave this here:
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? JYH is correct. 1929 was the worst Valentine's Day.
Welcome back. I was waiting....patiently.
Are you Alive? I wiggle and think that's close enough.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? February 14th!!! I finalize my divorce.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Aloha Burger. Teriyaki sauce, pineapple, lettuce, tomato, sometimes american cheese. Delicious.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Back in school. So analytical research.
What’s your favorite smell? Vanilla coconut mix.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Yes, yes.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Masturbate...I mean write. Yeah, I write.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? Of course I love you.
Do you have a Valentine this year? Nope.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) I had been going out with this girl for a few months. She was a sexual being. However, when she would drink she didn't understand you don't need to get blackout drunk to have a good time. I'm going to stop there and let your own imaginations run with it. The details are just details. It all turns out bad.
Are you Alive? hmmm, half-dead feels like a better description
Any Birthdays/Anniversaries/Important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it? I was 35 on the 5th January :)
What's your favorite kind of burger - please be specific. One that is not made of horse meat... :S umm i don't know, flamegrilled, crispy salad, slightly toasted sesame seed bun, nice secret sauce, fried onions and ketchup. oh. and no pickle/gurkin please!
What writing projects are you working on right now? Novella, various short stories
What's your favorite smell? Coffee, the proper fresh ground beans kind, the sea-side, christmas trees
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you feel like talking about it? Nup
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Look at the alarm clock, count how many hours I have left to sleep, panic, realise my brain is nothing but a big noise-riot, try to think of nothing, realise this is impossible, tell myself I really need to buy some nytol or something, look at the alarm clock, count how many hours I have left to sleep, panic....
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? The funny little mean kind you say to someone and let them believe for minutes or seconds before you crack up laughing at your own sad little grasp on humor
Do you have a Valentine this year? Yes
When was the worst Valentines Day? (or just a bad date story) Ummm....? Nothing springs to mind.
Are you Alive? Of course. I'm invincible.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Michael Jordan's birthday is Feb. 17th.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Double-Double, animal style, from In'n'Out. Hands down, the best burger in the country.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Ongoing poetry work, and my first novel.
What’s your favorite smell? Napalm in the morning.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Unrequited infatuation, sure. But I haven't loved anything but my woman.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Listen to books on tape, and contemplate the end of the world.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? "It was only self-defence. All six times."
Do you have a Valentine this year? Of course I do. The aforementioned woman.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) It was a second date with a girl who I was into, and after the first date, she seemed really into me. I was gonna make dinner for her at my place, and had spent the whole day cleaning and preparing food when my boss called me in - which was out of the norm since my job wasn't ever one to be done outside work hours. I said I already had something going and couldn't come in. Then later, the girl calls and cancels an hour after she was supposed to be at my place. So I go into work to see what the hell they needed, and to calm my temper for the whole thing getting fucked up. My boss tells me I'm fired because I'm not a team player. That stupid inconsiderate girl cost me a job, and subsequently a place to live because I couldn't pay rent - all because she was too self-absorbed to call me in a timely fashion. WORST. DATE. EVER.
1. Are you Alive? Not really but I'll probably feel better when it warms up. Winter is not my favorite season.
2. Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Nope.
3. What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. No burger sounds too good right now. I'd take a grilled cheese, BLT, or french dip, though.
4. What writing projects are you working on right now? No writing for a couple of months. Meh, blah.
5. What’s your favorite smell? Some men's cologne. Some food cooking. Coconut. I don't know.
6. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? In later elementary school I was in love with an "older man," who was in junior high. He liked me back but then he kissed me and it scared me so I broke up with him. Then I changed my mind but he would not give me another chance and I was miserable for months.
7. What do you do when you cannot sleep? Write or see what's in the fridge or roam around the house.
8. What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? One I was kinda impressed with (afterwards) is when my horrible friend stolen four or five tops from the mall and her mom found them. She told her mother I had gone shopping with her and loaned her the money. I happened to stop by her house and her mother called me into a room alone and grilled me. I actually kept a straight face, didn't stutter, and said all the correct things, and that woman was scary too. I was proudly surprised to realize I had such a talent and such bravery. I was still pissed off at horrible friend, though.
9. Do you have a Valentine this year? Yes! Husband. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. It's easy and pretty and I get to go on a romantic dinner date.
10. When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Last year husband had to work. I went to a little nearby restaurant by myself. They had a special menu for the day, for couples only. I had to ask to just get it for one person, it wasn't offered. It was clear I was unimportant and not wanted. The owner had seated me by the kitchen and restrooms even though there were other tables open. Then she went around with a special cake and offered everyone a slice except for me. She changed her baby's gross diaper at the booth right across from me where only I could see the contents. My torture continued, but really it wasn't "the worst" because I was not really "alone" just alone for the day, and really thought it was hysterical.
Leah: Yes...but you stole from Renee above you first!
Strange Photon: That bad first date was the best thing I've read here.
"I convinced a coworker on my first day that we'd slept together in college and that she'd forgotten." I love this!!
Someone was touring me around the office making introductions, and I overheard this one gal talking regretfully about what a slut she used to be (her words), so when I officially said hello and it quickly came up that we went to the same school, I was like, "Yeah, I know," etc. Never met her before.
Hi - Avery I'm glad you are back, and look at you -- ahead of the game for February.
Are you Alive? Feeling great
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Elvis and my husband were Jan.8.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Kroger's pre-made blue cheese burger, grilled in the summer.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Connected short stories set in Appalachia, based on some family things. One story might turn into a novella. I'm really excited about it, but taking my time.
What’s your favorite smell? Eucalyptus! but fresh cut grass is good too. And honeysuckle when it's wild.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? I'm not sure, so I guess not.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Toss and turn
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? This sounds like a WAR prompt. I'd have to take some time to think about that one.
Do you have a Valentine this year? My husband.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) string of bad dates in college. Can't pick one over the other. I was going to give examples but realized I might offend whole races and types of people. I'm just glad I'm still alive is all I'll say.
Hi Avery, I love this :-) hello to you, I never knew you were missing as I only just kind of got here. But I am glad you are alive.
1) Are you Alive?
Mostly, occasionally my left foot will keel over for a while, it always comes back though.
2) Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)?
I am doing a 10km run on Feb 16th, 12 weeks ago I couldn't run a bingo game.
3) What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific.
The kind with pasta and tomato sauce, and cheese... oh that might be lasagna.
4) What writing projects are you working on right now?
Poetry. Trying to increase my skills in order to get a writing project. I guess that means my project is improving my writing skills.
5) What’s your favorite smell?
The earth in a rainforest
6) Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it?
About twice a year. And it is delicious.
7) What do you do when you cannot sleep?
Try not to wake up my husband from fidgeting, read and read and read. Have amazing ideas for stories that I promptly forget by morning.
8) What is your favorite lie that you have ever told?
I know small talk is essential for breaking the ice at social gatherings, but I find it really tedious to be asked what job I do all the time, like it defines an individual completely. So I never ask that question and when people ask me I make up something different every time :-)
9) Do you have a Valentine this year?
Don't do the valentine thing, but when I was in primary school I gave my mum a home made card and some flowers picked from our garden - does that count? She explained to me what it actually was about, not for daughters and mothers - oh.
10) When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story)
See above.
leah_beth I like your version of sunset and sunrise much better - that is going to make me smile every morning now.
Jose F. Ninja - you crack me up.
Strange Photon - oh that date, I hope the 6 times self defense was used on her.
Voodo Em -the seaside smell - just glorious.
1. Are you Alive? Right now, yes.
2. Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? My youngest is 4 on Monday.
3. What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. There’s an American diner in my hometown that does one topped with American cheese, crispy bacon and crunchy peanut butter.
4. What writing projects are you working on right now? After spending the last two years working on short stories, I recently finished a couple which just do not work in short format. I’m working on building one of those up into something bigger. Also working on a WW1 ghost story, and an Alzheimer’s horror story.
5. What’s your favorite smell? Food. Bacon will always be high up there, but I also love the smell of slow roasted meat (not a euphemism).
6. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Only the vast majority of times I’ve been in love. I’m suspicious if theylove me back… I wonder what is wrong with them.
7. What do you do when you cannot sleep? I stay in bed, listening to my wife sleep, and build stories in my head, most of which will never (and can never) be written.
8. What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I’m a terrible liar, and I never remember them, which means I get caught out a lot.
9. Do you have a Valentine this year? My wife.
10. When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) I’ve never been on a bad date, and I’ve never really had a bad valentines. All the ones where I have not been with someone, I just used to go out on an anti-valentines drinking binge with other single friends, and they were some great nights out.
Adam - I once attempted an Alzheimer's horror story. I forgot to include the ghost and realised I'd been sitting in my car for eight hours. That was scary.
Ha, that does sound scary. I figured there were few things in life scarier than losing your marbles, and as such, surely it would make the perfect horror story. I made one attempt at it last year, and quickly aborted, but I think I have my head round it this time.
@Carly, it doesn't seem like the best restaurant in town. I hope they've got excellent food at least, 'cause they really suck at being hosts.
Here I go…
Are you Alive? A mellow 106/60
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? I'm going to NOLA in February with an accomplished writer friend who is intent on kicking my writer's ass back into shape during the trip . That's important dates.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Bison.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Renovating my writing space so that I can wrap up this 10 month period of non-writing.
What’s your favorite smell? AvGas, rain on pavement, lilacs, the smell of a horse's nose.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Yes, and no. It's an unpossible situation and so we do not speak of it and we don't speak to each other. Sometimes the knowing is enough.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? After I rein in the galloping thoughts, I say--I know that I am breathing in--as I inhale, and then--I know that I am breathing out--as I exhale. Kind of a mid-night meditation.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? Probably that the 1/4oz of weed my mother found while I was visiting her (I was 14) was catnip and that she should give it back to me so that I could return it to the person who sold it to me because clearly there had been a mix up.
Do you have a Valentine this year? I'll be in NOLA with my friend. We've committed to putting hexes on our exes.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) I eschew most Hallmark Holidays, although one V-Day I worked 18 hours; 8 of those hours spent driving with a co-worker through blizzards and ice storms. We found all the shittiest toilets in Alberta along the way.Super romantic.
ps I love Avery-of-the-Dead; best married name ever. xo
What does a horse's nose smell like?
(This feels like a setup, like a duckworth.)
Q: What does a horse's nose smell like?
A: Like this: *snort-snort*.
What does a horse's nose smell like?
I'd say warm hay and puppies--the best part is that in order to smell a horse's nose, one must be being nuzzled by said horse, which, if you haven't experienced it I highly recommend. Some horses are better huggers than others, and some are just plain assholes, so be selective.
Gordon- that lie just made you my hero for a day. If I ever get the chance some day I'm stealing it.
Are you Alive? Yes!
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Plenty in January: my birthday, my husband's, my daughter's... January for us is cake month.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. My favorite is served at a bar near my place. A nice bun with lettuce, tomato, a vegetarian kind of lentil burger and plenty of sauce. It comes with thick roughly cut french fries.
What writing projects are you working on right now? A series of short stories and a novel
What’s your favorite smell? The sea, food, the smell as you enter a flower shop, hair products, oranges
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? I experience it every day. I have two cats. Enough said.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? I think. I go over things that have happened, things that haven't happened yet or never will. It probably doesn't help to fall asleep.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I'm a writer!
Do you have a Valentine this year? Yes, my husband.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) I've never paid attention to Valentine's Day.
Are you Alive? Yes and no. The heart thing is now on its way to the hospital, where I'll be getting an electrical cardioversion (shock) to attempt to get my heart back into normal rhythm. The drugs may or may not have been working, but I was allergic to them and broke out in a rash all over my body. That was fun.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Cardioversion happens on the 7th. Friday.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. I honestly couldn't say. I make a mean black bean patty thing, Loving Hut has an awesome burgery thing with wonderfully tender, marinated, grilled BBQ seitan strips, and Red Robin's Western BBQ Burger with a Boca patty isn't too shabby.
What writing projects are you working on right now? In talks with Solarcide about potential publication of Peristalsis, the novella. Working on a piece for Despumation Press because it just sounded like too much fun. Still technically working on the novel, even though I really haven't been.
What’s your favorite smell? Probably the smell of brewing coffee.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Yes. No. There are a couple stories, and they're long, complicated, and extremely painful.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Nothing, generally. It's rare that I can't sleep, but in the event it does happen, I usually just lie there and wait it out. If I get up and go do something, the dogs will take over my side of the bed, which then means in getting them off I'll wake up my girlfriend.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? That I'm a writer.
Do you have a Valentine this year? In a committed relationship, you sort of always have one. Though we don't tend to celebrate it.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) I already told my best bad date stories on the Books and Booze contest FB thread. It seems to me I actually did have a really bad Valentine's Day once, but for the life of me I can't remember why. It was a long time ago. I'm old and have forgotten most of my experiences.
Okay, I missed VR Stone's valentine's day earlier- watching Superbad with Evangelicals?
That must have been the funniest thing ever if you like to watch other people. Maybe write a short story on THAT one...
Michael keep us posts on the heart condition. You need to write about this experience.
Are you Alive? Yes very.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Um one of my friends has a birthday at the end of the month.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Buffalo meat, rare (bloody) blue cheese, bacon and bbq sauce. With a local beer called Btown Brown.
What writing projects are you working on right now? Ah crap. I need to finish some non fiction, decide or write something to do at an AWP event. Also the usual submissions and stuff. And I just started writing a siren myth retelling that takes place in the Bahamas.
What’s your favorite smell? Clean baby.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Yes. And it resulted in my first ever published poem when I was 18 and in angsty baby lesbian love with a much older woman.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? LOL my whole life. It depends on how long I've gone. Most of the time I watch things I find soothing or just continue on with my life.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I once told a prospective writing job employer that I was heterosexual.
Do you have a Valentine this year? Yep.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Worst Valentine's day ever. I had a date with my at the time dreamgirl and managed to not only have epic gastric distress but I found out while on the date and hiding my distress that she was a complete asshole of epic proportions. Heartache and Bhole ache in one night.
Are you Alive?
Almost entirely.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)?
MIIIINE! (My birthday, I mean. You can all send me money orders)
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific.
I'm not a huge lover of burgers, but there's something spectacular about the ones my dad makes, which I cannot seem to replicate, and for anyone in Calgary, anything you can buy from Rocky's Burger Bus is a solid choice.
What writing projects are you working on right now?
None, I'm too busy with illustrating everyone else's writings, but that's fine by me for now.
What’s your favorite smell?
The opposite of Axe Body Spray.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it?
Experienced, no, but I have a tendency to cause a lot of it. I'm pretty spectacular but lack human emotion. Except smugness. I've got that for days.
What do you do when you cannot sleep?
Amphetamines, of course. Everything else makes me extra sleepy.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told?
Probably most of the answers to the "ARE YOU ALIVE" questions every month.
Do you have a Valentine this year?
I get lots of heart shaped cards from the wee one. But that's not because of any creepy armed flying babies.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story)
I think I went on a date once with a guy I met at a VD clinic. I don't know that it had anything to do with Valentine's day though, or that it was really a date. Someone drank Listerine. I went home. Usual Tuesday.
Are you Alive?: Yes, indeed.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Nothing anything at the moment.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific: Bacon, mushroom, and swiss,
What writing projects are you working on right now? I'm presently concluding a middle grade fantasy, and presently outlining for a YA novellete.
What’s your favorite smell? Chocolate anything, chocolate brownies, chocolate peanuts.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? I read Mary Poppins or Jude The Obscure.
Do you have a Valentine this year? Not that I know of.
Are you Alive?
Yes.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)?
Not really.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific.
The list is too long to put here, but the one I get the most is the Royal Red Robin.
What writing projects are you working on right now?
Memor, novella, novel, and sort of half way a few short stories.
What’s your favorite smell?
Apple pie.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
Yes.
Do you…feel like talking about it?
We got close, I feel, she didn't, life moved on.
What do you do when you cannot sleep?
Get up and try not to shake what ever is making the loud sounds that keep me up.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told?
I love you.
Do you have a Valentine this year?
No comment.
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story)
Short version - She didn't tell me that she had a bf and with her driving we ended up in a car chase with him coming after us.
TIL Dwayne lives la vida loca more than anybody here.
I think I just face palm more.
Don't worry, Dwayne. Contrary to popular belief, women can car chase outstandingly well!
My sister once chased a dude who had cut her at a stop sign, all the way to where he lived.
And I once car chased a bf from town to town, 'cause he had vexed me at a party with a fit of jealousy. When we stopped he said, "Damn, you can drive!"
Oh, this one can be my bad date story.
Long ago. My wild years.
Now I behave in a more becoming way. Now I would just pretend I'm hearing voices, and keep dancing to the voices' crooked rhythm.
Ahh... maybe I don't pay enough attention, but I've never heard of a stereotypes about women not being able to take part in a car chase. Or anything thing about women in car chases. I don't know if she was good, but this guy was horrible and she got us away.
I think this calls for the long version of the story.
Are you Alive? Mostly. Still recovering from some surgery in January, but almost back to normal, now.
Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? My grandfather would be 84 on the 19th, if he hadn't flown his plane into the ground.
What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. Buffalo--well done, with cheddar and onions.
What writing projects are you working on right now? I'm on the third-and-a-half draft of my YA horror novel. Starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Said novel has resulted in waaaay too many short story WIPS. I haven't finished anything in ages. Trying to wrap a few up this month.
What’s your favorite smell? Honey.
Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Do you…feel like talking about it? Of course. He was a cook at the restaurant where I waitressed in college. It was working out fine until he discovered that I was 11 years younger than him. That was too weird for him, so he called it off, and I pined form afar.
What do you do when you cannot sleep? Jigsaw puzzles and British comedy. And rum.
What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I told this creepy egomaniac boss of mine that my dad worked for the CIA. My dad played along, and convinced this guy to "guard" an empty missile silo in Wyoming for an entire weekend.
Do you have a Valentine this year? My hubby. :)
When was the worst Valentine’s Day? (or just a bad date story) Probably the V-day where my college roommate's boyfriend thought it would be super romantic to climb through her bedroom window. Except he got the wrong window and climbed through mine. I only stabbed him a little bit, but he still won't talk to me. Which is for the best, really. He's an idiot.
Dino-- A collection, you say? ::waits::
Okay SRead... That's a story worth telling the long version of, too. Got a guy to guard an empty missile silo?
There really isn't a long version! My dad did most of the lying. He's better at it than I am. But the guy took his camp gear and just slept in a field at the old silo site for the weekend. I confess, I was kinda hoping he'd get arrested for trespassing and tell the cops he was guarding a missile for the CIA...but alas, he was never seen. Although he did tell people he had "done work for the CIA" after that. Which was pretty funny to watch.
