No, really.
Hello everyone. I'm a UK writer, editor, and sort-of publisher. Nearly.
I write non fiction and fiction for magazines but the thing that I like to tell vicars and priests is that I edit gay porn. Which is actually true but not half as interesting as you might think. I had to do a lot of Googling in the early days, to check the spellings of certain practises I'd never even heard of. If they ever have to impound my laptop, I'm going to be doing some time.
The sort-of publisher thing is a new imprint of historical fiction and I have no doubt that I'll be touting for submissions here just as soon as we've sorted the details.
It's a little intimidating being on a literary forum where you are all being ever so, ever so clever because frankly I'd write anything for a packet of biscuits. Though I did once write an erotic ebook where the main character's gender is never revealed (which was a really good idea that became hell within two paragraphs, and writing a sex scene with no pronouns is just stupid, in hindsight). Also that character is unfaithful to their partner by having sex with a computer. As you do. I suppose that's slightly transgressive.
Anyway, now I'm here, I'm going to have a little lurk in the corners of the other discussions.
Hi Autumn. You sound sexy as hell already. There, I said something clever. Just the thought of you lurking makes the day hornier.
Hello Autumn... I don't really have anything clever to say; save that for my stories. Anyway, welcome to Thunderdome.
~Rian
Nice to meet you, Not Safe for work. I'm Not Appropriate for General Consumption. We're gonna be friends.
Welcome!
Everything I say is very clever, you just have to know how to look.
But I'm more E for Everyone.
Welcome to the pitt, Dave should be along.....I am sad that you aren't an acronym....sad face.
Welcome!
Don't smell Matt's pitts.
This reminded me we don't have a dress down thread here yet.
Yeah Autumn you'll fit right in don't worry about it.
@doll - You're more PG-13 in a theater full of NC-17 movies.
@Dwayne - I have no idea how to take that.
I'm the movie no one showed up to watch...
And I'm going to the movies. Hi Autumn!
Since Matt stole my opening line I will now have to come up with something ever so intriguing.
Nope, I have nothing....wait....nope, nothing. Welcome.
I'm the (self-proclaimed) worst writer on the site. So don't take anything I say seriously. Seriously, don't.
You left us and your line! YOU ABANDONED US DIAZ! But seriously, you're not the worst.
Hello NSFW. :-)
I never abandoned you all. I've been so drunk I couldn't find the keys on my keyboard.
I have a feeling it looks like this.
Did I miss something? Since when do words equal sound?
@Avery
I think Dwayne meant you're like the Hunger Games out of all of us (PG-13). Everyone else is the Adult theatre in the bad side of Downtown. Filled with a distinct musty scent, crusted seats, and odd noises.
Hello Autumn, I'm Dave 2.0 (combat option). Dave will be along shortly. Until then, you're stuck with me. Welcome to LitReactor. Lurk all you want.
AARGHH god damn sloooooow internet. I can assure you all that I've concocted some really insightful replies to each comment but by the time the internet goblins have loaded the page...the moment's passed. I think it's the time of night (here) that every spotty 13 year old boy in the UK is alone in his bedroom downloading something unspeakable.
Just smile and nod as if I've said something witty.
Thanks for the warm, if confusing, welcome.
I'll be in London on the 19th if you want to get a few beers and show me around. :o)
Smiles and nods.
Hi Autumnn, welcome to the site. I'm guessing those swamps orf Eastern England aren't too far from me. I'm in Cambridgeshire...
@Avery and Panda - She is Clerks 2 and we are all the Story of O/Grindhouse.
I understand. I like Clerks 2.
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth.
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.
Panda I see you tucking it in and dancing Silence of the Lambs style now after that comment...I don't want that image in my head.
OMG - in whose world is Clerks 2 PG-13?
What was the name of the donkey?
Kinky Kelley
Thaaaaaaat's right!
Thanks.
Goodbye Horses is the name of the song.
NC-17?
More like XXX with traces of snuff.
He called us softcore porno.
I prefer my testicles mangled and mashed, thank you.
I'm pretty PG-13. Also you should know that "Doc" Day's pic is actually me, and my pic is actually him.
@Doc Day. London is far, far away from where I currently live. I have been to London, a few times. It interests me that my snot changes colour in a city like that. Otherwise, ick. I leave London alone.
@BiLangley. I grew up in south Lincolnshire, on the Fens, so am tainted by madness and frogs. Luckily I've escaped to Lancashire where they laugh at my accent.
@PandaMask. No, no I would not. I write erotica because my life is a howling empty void devoid of human contact and meaningful (or even shallow and fleeting) relationships. And that's the way I like it.
I'm dissapointed Autumn, but I think you'll fit in nicely here.
@Sparrow/Doc - Why did you two trade pics?
@Sparrow - Yes you are more PG-13 then the rest of us.
@Doll - I'm not saying it's PG-13, I'm upgrading you to a R movie!
@Autumn - If you think this is confusing, wait for the fish this blue.
@Kits - We are all too artsy for XXX.
I am in no way too artsy for xxx. Not at all.
Dwayne--lady in the streets and freak in the sheets (holding my hair back when I spit makes me a lady, right?) As for the pics...is it weird that I don't know? But it's become an officially declared staring contest, so I can't go changing it now!
@Sparrow - I have no idea.
I'm late. It will happen again. So here you go
