Hello, nice to meet you all. My name is Nick and I'm a young writer from over the pond in grand old England.
I've been writing most of my life and started to get a bit serious about it lately. I finished writing my first "proper" novel last Christmas which has gotten some good feedback and I'm cracking on with my next.
I thought I'd join this community because you all sound like a friendly and articulate bunch. Glad to be here.
Hi Nick, good to hear from you. It's Sunday so we tend to be a little quiet. You joined at a very cool time, make sure you check out our first ever writing challenge, Scare Us. If you don't care to write, feel free to read stories as people submit them.
Now, on with the "getting to know you" part
Welcome! I'd offer you a beer, but... Internet and all. Enjoy your stay!
I am here to pre-welcome you. The official welcome will come in the form of a picture left by Dave, Jack's user name, or someone else who decides to step up (I'm not quite sure who is doing this now so be patient).
Also Matt will drop by and leave you a picture if he likes the cut of your jib. The more outlandish the picture the more he likes you.
After that, if we truly believe you are one of us, this introduction will turn into a heated debate over something mundane that will be sprinkled with dick jokes. When this happens we will start ignoring you in your own welcome thread.
The only other rule I can think of is that as a member of this site you are required to publicly shit on "Fifty Shades of Grey" at least once a week (either metaphorically or literally. I mean it, last week I literally shit on that book. Why? Because my copy of Twilight was out of pages.)
Now think of something to do and see that task through to completion,
Thanks for all the warm messages, especially the beer one. As much as I enjoy the thought of defecating on Mrs James' book I think I'd rather use it as a way of cleaning my rear end. Can't waste paper now can we?
In answer to your questions Kirk:
1. I munch on some tasty sour cream and chive pringles as I enjoy the delights of the Book of Disquiet by Pessoa.
2. That would have to be William Somerset Maugham
3. Tough one. The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Naive. Super by Loe.
As long as shit ends up on the book in some way or another, it's good.
God but Chris makes us sound weird. The problem is, that is entirely accurate.
Welcome. If any of that sounded terrible, well, I apologize for the sex jokes that will be arriving...probably sometime tomorrow.
Not feeling up to the task tonight? Come on now, that's not the Avery we all know and love.
Do one about genitals.
Hm. Now I feel put on the spot.
Actually I'm fairly certain I've never made a sex joke. Must have been someone else you're thinking of.
We may love you slightly less now. Fair warning.
Story of my life.
Aww. Now I feel bad.
We don't bite. Unless you want us to...
I thought cutting someones jib was a dick joke. It's not. Here's your picture. You're approved.
No Matt, you were thinking about the mast not the jib.
I gotta go tie up my dingy!
Besides, it's the "cut of their jib", not "cutting their jib".
Nick! That's so cool that you get to sit by a pond, total inspiration there! Whereabouts are you in England? Welcome!
Ponds, lakes, a lot of puddles as well. I live in the southeast in a little village near Portsmouth.
As another newbie to this whole thing, welcome!
Also, my introduction thread has most posts than yours. I'm not saying that people clearly like me better, but I'm also not not saying that people clearly like me better.
Just as academic achievement is no substitute for real intelligence, popularity is no replacement for a good personality.
Thank you for the welcome.
(Does this mean I'm not a noob anymore?)