Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 18, 2013 - 4:47pm

Writing is kind of like guitar for people who can't play guitar, for people who like like being holed up in a room alone rather than rocking out on stage, Somewhere in the back of the mind of every writer is the desire to get a piece from a piece they wrote. Has that ever worked for you?

 

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On October 18, 2013 - 5:08pm

Well, in a roundabout way. My last girlfriend broke the ice at a coffee shop by asking me what I was writing in a notebook. But as for my actual words casting that special voodoo on a lovely lady, I'd have to say not yet.

Angel Colón's picture
Angel Colón from The Bronx now living in New Jersey is reading A Big Ol' Pile of Books October 18, 2013 - 6:19pm

In the teenage time, yes, many an awful, awful poem (that relentlessly lifeted from The Smiths and The Cure) got me to the good place with a few ladies.

I do remember a time in college where someone actually initiated conversation with me because I was being the broody, sit by a tree guy with his hood up and a notebook type. That went nowhere, though.

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 20, 2013 - 1:16pm

Getting caught writing your novel at your accounting job is a good way to get laid... off.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading A truckload of books October 20, 2013 - 6:07pm

I often celebrate finishing something by getting busy... but I'm married, so I feel like it probably would have happened one way or the other.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated October 20, 2013 - 11:09pm

Wow. Just wow Eddie. I'm a bit impressed at how crude this question is, not much even registers anymore. Kind of impressive.

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter October 21, 2013 - 10:26am

Sometimes I'll write a sex scene and I'll think, "Yeah, that does it."

BUT, like Renee, I'm also married. 

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer October 21, 2013 - 10:56am

I am living with the leader of my writing group. We started dating after she read the first draft of a novel that I wrote. 

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies October 21, 2013 - 2:49pm

if it doesn't, you aren't doing it right. :-)

SRead's picture
SRead from Colorado is reading Stories October 21, 2013 - 2:56pm

I'm fairly certain it has. But it's so difficult to extricate the allure of my prose from all my other natural charms.

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 21, 2013 - 2:57pm

I should be banging broads like Warren Beatty in '73 after this one.

http://all-due-respect.blogspot.com/2013/06/issue-53-june-2013.html

L.W. Flouisa's picture
L.W. Flouisa from Tennessee is reading More Murakami October 21, 2013 - 3:23pm

I don't really think about writing in that way honestly. I'd prefer a significant other, that ideally was also a creative type as well.

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 21, 2013 - 4:44pm

To be clear, my post above was a very funny pun, in which I did a funny joke thing using words on the internet. 

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore October 21, 2013 - 10:24pm

Guitar-playing skill and layability seem to be inversely-proportional, actually. It's still about how you look, and the less shit you appear to give about it, the better. And it's a douche move to write in public with the hopes that someone will come up to you and ask about it.

That said, it probably has indirectly. Not by strangers, but rather, those who already know me and maybe appreciate the whole creativity thang in general. Once, a girl did diddle herself while I played her roommate's guitar on the bed. Fingers be flyin, yo. We were shitfaced, so take from that what you will.

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 22, 2013 - 12:48am

Do you think if you'd offered to diddle her FOR her, instead of playing the guitar, she'd have explained that it was the music itself that make her want to scream with pleasure, and that you were a mere vessel, a medium through which her union with the Great God Pan might finally be actualized?

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore October 22, 2013 - 2:21am

I think that's 100% accurate, even if her mythological knowledge left much to be desired (pun alert!). And then I'd have made some clumsy "vessel" innuendo of my own that spoiled the moment. I was able to perform without the instrument at a later date, but that's a less-interesting story.

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 22, 2013 - 4:06am

Men rarely do anything without the motivator of "will this get me laid?" So, if we spend years of our lives, writing for hours a day, the thought must arise. 

Jay.SJ's picture
Jay.SJ from London is reading Warmed and Bound October 22, 2013 - 6:54am

Not sure if directly laid, but hook up, sure.

Devon Robbins's picture
Devon Robbins from Utah is reading The Least Of My Scars by Stephen Graham Jones October 22, 2013 - 7:00am

I can't help but play pretty, but dark music on an acoustic guitar, which makes me go all introspective and weird. The ladies like it, but I start feeling like a monk. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 22, 2013 - 8:16am

Absolutely.

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 22, 2013 - 3:27pm

When I saw Gordon playing in Kansas City, I touched myself. True story, slightly embellished to add the Kansas City part.

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore October 22, 2013 - 10:09am

It's pretty fulfilling to be able to touch so many simultaneous people while both my hands are otherwise occupied with strings and keys. heh heh  Oughta just have the doorman hand out morning-after pills with the cover charge.

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres October 22, 2013 - 2:09pm

Wow...If you're writing in order to get laid, you should probably just fuck yourself (see what I did there, huh? is it an insult or a relevant masturbatory suggestion? huh? huh?).

In fact, substitute in place of the word "writing" any of the following and the sentiment remains: playing music, painting, drawing, creating, etc etc etc.

I've interacted with a (luckily) very small handful of jerks who write in hopes of their work getting them laid. It is sad, and pathetic, and painfully obvious in their writing. Same thing with musicians, artists, or anyone else who is faking it in order to get in someone's pants. The insincerity, the generic quality of the work, and the obvious lack of heart will always show through.

I'd prefer if people would be sincere about it up front. Let me know they write because they're just trying to get laid. It would help me to avoid their bullshit at all costs. But then again, like I said before, they make themselves pretty obivous, don't they?

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer October 22, 2013 - 2:33pm

I'm pretty sure Shakespeare got laid a time or two because of his writing.

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 22, 2013 - 3:28pm

I like to fuck bitches with my long, hard sentences, and my penetrating insight.

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies October 22, 2013 - 9:47pm

:-0

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 23, 2013 - 4:42am

Congrats, Sean of the Dead. You've won the Lit Reactor award for most overly sensitive and boring post. You must be great at parties. 

eddie

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 23, 2013 - 7:18am

"...most overly sensitive and boring post."

What are you, new?  That doesn't even make it into the top 5.

 

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 23, 2013 - 8:19am

I'm new. I look forward to bigger bores and sensitive Sallies. 

Linda's picture
Linda from Sweden is reading Fearful Symmetries October 23, 2013 - 9:20am

It's never occurred to me to even try. Suspect it wouldn't fly up here anyway.

Now I'm curious though. As writers, are you attracted to other writers?

Devon Robbins's picture
Devon Robbins from Utah is reading The Least Of My Scars by Stephen Graham Jones October 23, 2013 - 9:21am

I find being attractive attractive.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 23, 2013 - 9:31am

Jesus!  I can't believe I didn't think to post this earlier...

 

Don't use writing to be an asshole. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 23, 2013 - 9:54am

I tried to use writing once to score free dope.  It was astounding how fast a bottom-of-the-barrel weed dealer could become both a literary critic and "that guy who's got a great idea for a story but doesn't have time because of the demands of his weed job but I should totally write it for him."

After that, I just used writing to get laid.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts October 23, 2013 - 10:00am

I have had the untested theory that getting laid would help my writing.

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres October 23, 2013 - 1:19pm

Congrats, Sean of the Dead. You've won the Lit Reactor award for most overly sensitive and boring post. You must be great at parties.

Neither one of those descriptions applies to my post, but thanks so much for the award! This was totally unexpected, and I didn't even prepare a speech. Okay, where to start... I'd like to thank all of my friends for their support, my mom and dad, my girlfriend, whom I never could have hooked up with if it wasn't for my overly sensitive and boring writing. Oh man, I'm gonna forget someone... The academy. My producer, my co-writers, my directors. And last but certainly not least, LitReactor, for helping me to see that bro's are fantastic writers and great sports.

Also, my birthday is coming up soon, if you'd like to come to my party and find out how much fun I am, you're more than welcome. Please bring a gift, preferably not anything leather. I'll supply the beer and the cake. I think I have a handful of friends in here that would say I'm a pretty cool person to hang with at parties, so you can join their ranks, new friend. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 23, 2013 - 2:42pm

Sooo...

Is it just Eddie who isn't allowed to bring leather?  I hope so.  Because I totes have a set of chaps that I think would look absolutely endearing on you, Mr. Of-the-Dead.  You don't want to miss out on that action.

big_old_dave's picture
big_old_dave from Watford, about 20 miles outside London, Uk October 23, 2013 - 3:09pm

With all the restaining orders in place i've never tried the whole "I'm a writer hump me please" approach

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated October 23, 2013 - 3:09pm

Sean, since really it is only people who are close who'll come is it okay if I bring my leather jacket? Not as your gift, but just for me to wear as part of a normal outfit? My other winter coats just aren't the same.

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore October 23, 2013 - 3:18pm

I'm glad you didn't specify assless chaps, Utah (as people often do), that being the very definition of redundancy.

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres October 23, 2013 - 4:13pm

Let me qualify: Dwayne, you are more than welcome to wear a leather jacket. I don't care if it is Grease style, or has fringe on the arms, or has a big American flag on the back, it's alright with me.

Utah, are they the David Lee Roth brand chaps? Will they make me say "Whoa-oh, Hey you! Who said that?" when I first put them on? If so, assume you'll be seeing my ass for the first (*wink) time when I try them on immediately.

Oh, and Gordon: the fact that Utah said "chaps" and "absolutely endearing" in the same sentence is the very definition of redundancy.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts October 23, 2013 - 4:21pm

I'm an assless chap.

Bob Pastorella's picture
Bob Pastorella from Groves, Texas is reading murder books trying to stay hip, I'm thinking of you, and you're out there so Say your prayers, Say your prayers, Say your prayers October 24, 2013 - 4:07am

You mean I could have been using my writing to get laid?

 

All this time...dammit! 

 

Use your talents to write stories, they said.

Maybe one day you could write a story and get paid, they said. 

 

LAID. Hmmmp, apparently I'm doing it wrong. 

 

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 24, 2013 - 2:39am

@Averydoll

Great video, from a great man. A truly layable man. With many layers, as a person. And as a writer.

Eddie McNamara's picture
Eddie McNamara from NYC is reading High as the Horse's Bridles October 24, 2013 - 4:02am

It's my (100% correct) opinion that men only attempt to better themselves in order to put their penis in someone better. Women are slightly more complex because they don't have to make any effort to sleep with someone—all they have to do is nod in the affirmative. 

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts October 24, 2013 - 5:01am

I don't think that's men and women, I think you're thinking of protozoa.

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff October 24, 2013 - 5:05am

O thanks jeses, so I can stop writing now.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry October 24, 2013 - 7:25am

Fuck.  I can never escape redundancy.  I try and try.  But I have so few thoughts, I get whatever traction I can out of them.

Sean:  The DLR brand are cool and all, but these are better.  Partially because they are way cheaper (read:  pleather, which is cool because that stuff only chaps--get it?--if you wear them too long, and nobody ever wears chaps with the intention of wearing them any longer than "just long enough"), and partially because they were made in the good ol' U.S. of A. (Albania).  Brand name:  RAW.  You're gonna dig 'em.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 24, 2013 - 7:51am

"It's my (100% correct) opinion that men only attempt to better themselves in order to put their penis in someone better. Women are slightly more complex because they don't have to make any effort to sleep with someone—all they have to do is nod in the affirmative."

I feel so silly now.  Because you're being a troll and I didn't even realize it.  Thank God I can now just ignore you and save my efforts for conversations that matter.

Like this chaps discussion.  Because yes, Utah, please send sean chaps for his birthday.  I'll message you the address.  

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff October 24, 2013 - 7:57am

I mean, as a protozoon.

Fylh's picture
Fylh from from from is reading is from is reading is reading is reading reading is reading October 24, 2013 - 8:17am

You people really need to get laid.

Maybe you should go to a bar and casually scribble your number on a nakpin. That's the kind of writing that gets you laid.

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay Hunter October 24, 2013 - 8:19am

@Jessica: Photos or it never happened.