wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.October 29, 2012 - 8:20pm
Spelling police says it's "vise"
Only in the US. Do your spelling police carry guns too? If they do then cool, whatever, it can be vise. I'm not looking to get shot ;-)
Class Facilitator
Emma C
from Los Angeles is reading Black Spire by Delilah DawsonOctober 29, 2012 - 8:26pm
No, they're pacifist. The funny thing is Sean is in the US so I corrected him (as am I but I grew up spelling the British way, much to my elementary teachers' dismay).
Jonathan Riley
from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland October 29, 2012 - 9:55pm
So my other idea got too complicated and I'm going to do something else with it. I decided to take Emma, Martin, and Fritz's advice and banged this one out tonight. Flash.
Hedgehogging
“This bar’s a fucking sausage fest. Want to go hedgehogging?” Chris knocked back the Jager Bomb and slammed the glass on the bar top.
“Hedgehogging?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah, you know, skunking, bat winging, hamster humping.” Chris wrote in the air with an invisible pen to signal the bartender for the check.
“Yeah, I really have no idea what you’re talking about.” Daniel sipped the melted remnants of a whiskey an ice.
“I’m talking about hitting up Brooks Road, snatching some tail. How much money you got?” Chris flipped through his wallet to count his own cash.
“We going hunting?”
“Not much hunting involved. I’m gonna need to hit up the A.T.M.”
“Oh, shit! You’re talking about hookers.” Daniel said, with a furred brow.
“No shit Sherlock. They’re nocturnal like hedgehogs.” Chris laughed like a jackal.
“I don’t know about that. Why don’t we just hit up the Windjammer and bag a couple cougars.”
“By the time you buy them drinks, get them home and call them a cab, you’ve done spent twice as much. Besides they’re not a sure thing. You spend 50 bucks on drinks then a 6’4” personal trainer with Zor-pecks and Fabio-hair swoops in and snags your prey. Plus they’re old, probably be asleep by midnight. Hedgehogging is way easier on a Wednesday night.” Chris elbowed Daniel in the shoulder.
“Fuck it. You only live once right? But if I’m going to do this I’ll need more whiskey.” Daniel finished off the watered down drink.
“And condoms.”
The only woman in the bar laid the check between them and rolled her eyes at condom-talk and breast-gawking.
“And condoms.”
They left two twenties on the bar and headed out for the street corners.
They stopped at the E-Z Go for condoms, hit up the liquor store with the A.T.M. next door.
“Two birds, one stone.” Chris was the clever one.
*
They stopped the Ford Escort at the corner of Brooks and Millbranch.
“I’be neber ven down here at night before.” Daniel said; drunk now. “These night crawlers are everywhere.”
Daniel and Chris laughed.
“Stay away from the red foxes and the snow leopards,” Chris said to warn Daniel.
“Huh?” Daniel grinned from ear to ear impatient to please his curiosity.
“There’s no such thing as an attractive prostitute,” Chris laughed. “The average-to-good-looking ones are always cops. Make sure you bag a skunk or a possum. Don’t forget.”
“You mean stinky and bald?”
“Pretty much.” Chris looked Daniel straight in the eye and grabbed his chin. “Make sure she’s a meth head. Cops don’t tweak.”
“How can you tell.”
“She’ll look like a used Q-tip.”
“Like a used Q-tip?”
“Skinny as fuck. Meth-heads don’t eat much and her teeth, if she has any, will look like ear wax. She’ll smell like cat piss and melted plastic.”
“Sounds Fantastic!” Daniel slapped Chris’s hand from his face. “I’m going to fuck me a skunk. Ha! It sounds funny when I say it.”
“No snow leopards. Don’t forget.”
Chris walked pass an owl, two bats and a hamster to approach a street-walker with jet black hair; blond roots sprouting from the middle of her scalp. Black knee-high pleather boots and fishnet stockings. Q-tip skinny, with about twelve ear-wax teeth. From three feet away he could smell burnt shower curtains. He smiled at his skunk and negotiated while he watched Daniel head to the opposite corner.
Daniel walked pass a red fox, a skunk, two hedgehogs, and a wombat. He approached a petite Mexican woman with greasy hair wearing leopard print tights. She wore inch long lashes, thick with mascara. The jade eyeliner made her big green eyes shine.
“So you know her, Pepe?” Chris asked his skunk and pointed at Daniel's prospect.
“She only wurkt dis corner a week now. She tink her shit don’t stank."
Chris reached for ass-meat and smacked his hand against what felt like bare tail bone.
“He went and fetched a Margay. He’s so fucking fucked!” Chris laughed, grabbed Pepe’s hand, and walked toward the motel.
Class Facilitator
Emma C
from Los Angeles is reading Black Spire by Delilah DawsonOctober 29, 2012 - 9:58pm
JR, at the wire! Booyah!
I just wrote a fairy tale that featured a pair of retired hedgehogs. Now I can never look at it again.
Jonathan Riley
from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland October 29, 2012 - 10:02pm
Sorry bout that Emma.
Fritz
October 29, 2012 - 10:25pm
got a couple of hooker stories for this prompt.
Liked the dialog driven stuff - so easy to read... good show JR.
@Sean - Milli Vanilli = ruined the world... (smile)
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.October 30, 2012 - 3:32am
Fun fun. Hedgehogs indeed.
Right, that's everyone subbed that was going to methinks. Calling it.
I'll have the poll up soon. Today, maybe tomorrow. Also, new prompt coming sooon. WAR fun, you don't want to miss it.
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.October 30, 2012 - 4:36am
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.October 31, 2012 - 3:46am
FLASH ME! NOVEMBER - WAR QUOTES
The new month is upon us and it is a month of death and destruction, with WAR2 on the horizon.
Flash me! will work alongside the WAR this time, and we want a collection of memorable fictitious quotes and trash-talk from the competitors.
Generals and ace-shooters alike, all the voices are welcome here.
Your fictional war quotes can be short and sweet (think - I love the smell of napalm in the morning) or they can be stoic and uplifting (think - Churchill, think - we will fight them on the beaches). Add a made-up name to attribute the quote to, or simply have it from a nameless soldier. Up to you.
No word count or anything, and it's just a bit of fun this time around, there won't be a poll but there will be a list of the coolest lines which I will repost in the WAR threads.
So, who says it best? Those about to die. Who's tongue is sharpest? Him with his crosshair over your heart.
Have at it folks. All WAR2 participants are expected to submit at least one quote. If you don't I'll come get ya :)
Class Facilitator
Emma C
from Los Angeles is reading Black Spire by Delilah DawsonNovember 2, 2012 - 11:31pm
"Nothing is more intimate than the last gaze shared with the man you've just slain; that light that leaves his eyes will settle upon you like so much weighted dust, until you, too, have fallen." --Unknown
Stacy Kear
from Bucyrus, Ohio lives in New Jersey is reading The Art of War October 31, 2012 - 5:31pm
"There is War inside us all. Waiting, able to burn you from the inside out, or spew forth and set fire to your enemies." Unknown
R.Moon
from The City of Champions is reading The Last Thing He Wanted by Joan Didion; Story Structure Architect by Victoria Lynn Schimdt PH.D; Creating Characters by the editors of Writer's DigestOctober 31, 2012 - 3:55pm
Here. I also posted this in the War thread, but I like this little contest. It's also slightly different here.
'War is not a thing, nor an action. It is a state of mind.'
- Francis Neil
Dino Parenti
from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands OnOctober 31, 2012 - 3:58pm
Never love your enemy; run him through with all the venom, sanctification, and animal fury you can muster. Only afterwards, perched victoriously atop his broken body, may you offer pause to respect him.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeOctober 31, 2012 - 5:08pm
"What's it like? It's like anything else unless you're one of those people who overthink things. Killing someone isn't exciting. Killing isn't intimate. It proves nothing. It proves you can do it. Doing it proves you can do it. Does that mean anything? No. It doesn't mean anything. It is something, but it doesn't mean anything else. It just is. I know. You never learned not to ask questions like that? When was the last time you saw or read an interview where they asked someone 'What's it like to kill someone?' I'll bet never. And I'll bet you didn't realize that meant it was a bad question, because as much as you like to think, you don't think about the right things. Ask me another. Ask me about this soda can. What's it like? Describe it to me. You can buy a fucking soda pop like anybody else if you want to know the answer so goddamn bad. This is over. No more. No more questions."
Jonathan Riley
from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland October 31, 2012 - 5:08pm
"I'll cut out your eyes to see from your point of view. And I'll still have to kill you."
-drafted soldier-
Covewriter
from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & SonsOctober 31, 2012 - 8:04pm
I've been inCharleston all week on vacation, visiting Ft. Sumpter, so here is an imagined war quote conversation between Beauregard ( confed) and Anderson ( union).
Beauregard: Dear Sir, my trusted West Point mentor and friend, my leader, my teacher, I beg you to leave Ft, Sumpter, but if not Sir, this is war.
Anderson: ( from his position at sumpter) I fight for the Union and freedom for all. Remember your training son.
Beauregard: I fight for freedom as well my friend.
And with that, Beauregard sends the command to unleash the first shot of the bloody war.
Here we go friends, a civil war.
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.November 1, 2012 - 8:14am
Great start, folks. Loving this already.
Flaminia Ferina
from Umbria is reading stuffNovember 1, 2012 - 9:10am
"Bro. Jesus, bro. I'm sorry! Didn't mean to shoot you. Hell, I shouldn't have enlisted for the mollies."
Stratton
from Phoenix
November 1, 2012 - 9:12am
"I crashed planes into buildings before it was cool." --Hipster Kamikaze pilot
"Though I walk through the valley of--so it goes--the shadow of death, I will--so it goes--fear no evil. Thy rod--so it goes--and thy staff comfort me. So it goes." --Religous Sniper in action who is also a Kurt Vonnegut fan
"You'll be drinking morphine out of your boot when I'm done with you, you Nazi bastard!" - American soldier, WWII
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchNovember 1, 2012 - 9:58am
From Slaughterhouse Five:
"This, too, was the title of a book by Trout, The Gutless Wonder. It was about a robot who had bad breath, who became popular after his halitosis was cured. But what made the story remarkable, since it was written in 1932, was that it predicted the widespread use of burning jellied gasoline on human beings. It was dropped on them from airplanes. Robots did the dropping. They had no conscience, and no circuits which would allow them to imagine what was happening to the people on the ground. Trout's leading robot looked like a human being, and could talk and dance and so on, and go out with girls. And nobody held it against him that he dropped jellied gasoline on people. But they found his halitosis unforgivable. But then he cleared that up, and he was welcomed to the human race."
Was there a word count limit...?
Stacy Kear
from Bucyrus, Ohio lives in New Jersey is reading The Art of War November 1, 2012 - 10:12am
@ Liana It is supposed to be an original quote, you write it, and then attribute it to some made up character, or you can just put Unknown.
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchNovember 1, 2012 - 12:06pm
Oh man, that's what I get for not reading through all the comments, or the prompt. Grrrr to me!!! Being too busy: excuse or justification?
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchNovember 1, 2012 - 12:16pm
There once was a girl in Seattle
Whose beau had just signed up for battle.
"Will you wait?" said the boy,
(Held the gun like a toy).
And she found a new beau in Seattle.
(Lucinda Dwellington)
Courtney
from the Midwest is reading Monkey: A Journey to the West and a thousand college textbooksNovember 1, 2012 - 12:34pm
"Forget the girls back home, it's time to have some fun." -- A prostitute
Dave
from a city near you is reading constantlyNovember 1, 2012 - 1:31pm
Relish the mayhem.--Unknown
Dino Parenti
from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands OnNovember 1, 2012 - 3:01pm
I write my history with the blood of the vanquished.
--Unknown
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.November 4, 2012 - 3:13pm
The vitriol and murder speak seems to have slowed off. I suppose folks have an excuse, what with writing their stories and all. If you need a break from that, then more smack talk!
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchNovember 4, 2012 - 4:11pm
"And death... death is not even the worst of it. It's the shame, the slime of that ghost limb you carry within, for having returned without triumph. The knowledge that, win or lose, you have not gained a thing, but lost it all on those foreign fields, in the gurgling of blood."
Hernest Emingway
iamsnaggletooth
November 4, 2012 - 4:14pm
"The problem with Jimmy was he was Jimmy. He always did stupid shit like this. In the fourth grade, he ate a whole box of Crayolas for a buck fifty. Seventh, he jumped off Grant's mom's roof and broke his arm. Twelfth grade, he got himself drafted. Somebody probably dared him to walk through that field."
"You aren't disturbed by this?"
"Yeah, well, what do you expect?"
-- Wayne Sykes to a reporter, commenting on his brother's death.
voodoo_em
from England is reading All the books by Ira LevinNovember 5, 2012 - 7:26am
"These young kids they say, Show me your War face! Show me your War face!
As if that's what really matters. As if that's all it takes.
Truth is, snarling and yelling don't make a War face. Truth is, it takes more than a beet red angry roar to take a man's life. You wanna see a real War face I ask 'em, a real War face is in the eyes, those hollow sunk glass reflections haunted by the past. It's the death mask of your comrade bleeding out in your arms. It's PTSD, POW and KIA. A real War face is the broken agony worn by parents burying their kid. It consumes the widow and young 'uns it leaves behind.
A War face, I tell them, is what I see everytime I look in a mirror. You wanna see a real War face, then look closer."
~ Comrade Martin "Macabre" Black.
Dave
from a city near you is reading constantlyNovember 5, 2012 - 4:09pm
Stacy Kear
from Bucyrus, Ohio lives in New Jersey is reading The Art of War November 5, 2012 - 4:54pm
@Dave nice
Dave
from a city near you is reading constantlyNovember 5, 2012 - 5:05pm
Thanks. It's what I do.
Dave
from a city near you is reading constantlyNovember 5, 2012 - 7:06pm
Alexander the Great’s proclamation,
'I am never afraid of an army of Lions led into battle by a Lamb. I fear more the army of Lambs who have a Lion to lead them.'
bryanhowie
from FW, ID is reading East of Eden. Steinbeck is FUCKING AMAZING.November 8, 2012 - 3:23pm
I have nowhere to put this little thing, so I'll just post it as a super-flash (under 100 words):
Sweet Jesus
When everyone is telling you that you should accept Christ into you, it's not a terribly large leap in a boy's imagination before he's sticking a crucifix up his ass while jerking off to pictures depicting the whores of Babylon. Mostly, it slides in with a little spit, but it takes some wrangling to get his feet to pop through the sphincter. Sliding it in and back out slowly, Jesus touches me in just the right place. Jesus loves me. Yes, he does.
Jonathan Riley
from Memphis, Tennessee is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland November 8, 2012 - 3:32pm
Actually I could see you saying that on the battlefield, waving that crucifix in your hogtied enemie's face right before you shove it down his throat and make him choke on it, then you might say, "Now Jesus loves you too."
Bill Tucker
from Austin, Texas is reading Grimm's Fairy Tales (1st Edition)November 12, 2012 - 8:59am
"You call that a bayonet to the kidneys? That 'aint nothin'. You ain't been slain 'till you've been speared by the Bekanator." - Anybody fighting in WAR 2 who lost to Bekanator in WAR 1.
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchNovember 12, 2012 - 10:11am
"They had been pounding at each other with all they had. They shot their guns. They waved their swords. They thrust their knives. They even picked up sticks and stones in a last act of desperation.
Only then did they call to God, the tie-breaker.
One lost."
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.November 16, 2012 - 10:55am
This is still running if anyone wants to vent some vitriol or get some smack talking done in the form of a fictional quote.
Some of the ones there have been so far have been great.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeDecember 9, 2012 - 8:16pm
+
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.December 10, 2012 - 7:25am
Just to let y'all know, I have not forgotten or abandoned this. There are some EPIC plans. I have been travelling to the north pole to speak with Chester (he lives there now) and we have been cooking stuff up.
WAR is the big game for the winter. There will be (almost) flash battles being conducted in the pit. Fixes can be aquired there. Or go here, this is a great site for reading flash in the meantime.
Flash Me! will be back. Bigger, harder, dirtier, and more flashy than ever.
Soon.... there will be SIN.
Covewriter
from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & SonsDecember 10, 2012 - 3:19pm
Glad to hear it Wicked. Flash is awesome. makes me think, and write.
Rachel Saunders
from York, UK is reading Lots of factual stuff for ideasFebruary 10, 2013 - 2:51pm
This is my take:
Prime Contact
Exposing my flesh to the bacteria was not my idea, rather he had asked me in the desperation of a man without any further hope. He looked at me the way that my terrier used to do when he needed to go outside, so here I was, sitting in the sterile chair on a ship adrift amongst the stars.
“I promise this will be quick,” his voice was tort with emotion, “for all our sakes I hope this cure works.”
Fear gripped my chest, yet I knew this was the only way. The apothecary had been euthanised prior to our emergency awaking, so Mandrake was doing his best with the limited knowledge he had as a noviate. Gripping the edge of the chair, I forced myself to stay calm, for his sake more than anything, “I'm sure I'll be find, just promise me that you will stay by the monitoring station when I am quarantined.”
Grimly he nodded, and taking a small gel patch from the tray to our side, it pressed it against the skin on the back of my hand, then locked my wrists into place with restraints, “it should take effect in the next few minutes, so I'll lock down the room from the outside.”
Watching him leave, I tried my best not to cry. None of the others had survived this procedure, and they had all stoically borne the burden of hope much as I was doing. As crew of the ship it was our job to keep the hundred thousand cryogenically frozen passengers safe, even if it meant sacrificing our lives to do it. We had all drawn lots to see in which order we would go in testing the cure, and now it was my turn.
“Lord Vishnu hear my prayers. Help us find a cure for this disease, let my life save those who slumber still in this craft. I prayer that my life will not be lost in vain.”
As the minutes ticked by, I played over the moments after I had been released from the long slumber of the cryogenics, panic setting in amongst the crew as we realised that a spaceborn virus had somehow managed to infiltrate the ship and infect the water supply. In an attempt to stem the flow, our AI had euthanised the worst hit sections, including most of the senior crew, which left us all desperately searching through StellaNet for answers. By the ships chronometre we were ninety three months out from our system of origin, and there was no chance of a rescue ship getting to us in time.
“May Ganesha watch over my mother, aid her, give her sucker and comfort, and may the mandate of all the Lords of Heaven bring her peace.”
If this was to be my last moments in this lifetime, I wanted to make right with the universe. When was the last time I had been to temple? Not since I had been on Sahar station probably, and even then it was to say hello to the Guru. I never truly believed the tales of old Mother India, yet now in these desperate moments the hope of the next life, the next turn of the wheel, brought me comfort. What would I choose to be? Given my lack of faith probably a cricket or some other insect, though knowing my luck I could just as easily be a Quillian's t'ucha. Being a botanist I didn't think that that being an insect was all that bad, considering their short life spans I would quickly move round the wheel, but then again, how much balance was in my life?
“Lord Varuna spare me your wrath, let me cross over into the next life as Gutra did across the Kuleptra.”
A tingling in my hand brought my attention back into the room, it moved and gradually crept up my nervous system. Going numb, my hands turned a pale shade of purple, which followed the up my arms out of sight under my uniform. As it reached the top of my arm, for the first time I head the voice, like the rustle of paper in the wind, calling me from an unimaginable distance.
“We have returned.”
Feeling the muscles in my neck seize up, I was unable to call out, but in my mind I let out a scream as imagines of a thousand thousand worlds unknown to human eyes flashed through my mind, a billion billion voices all calling out in cacophonous disharmony.
“We have returned. Let everyone voice sing out to our majesty, for we have returned.”
In the instant before the numbness reached my brain, I looked out of the room at him, his eyes filled with tears, and the last thing I saw was the cleansing flames of the decontamination protocols claiming my body on the pyre of hope.
Covewriter
from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & SonsFebruary 10, 2013 - 9:29pm
Do we have a new monthly flash prompt?
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.February 10, 2013 - 10:15pm
Only in the US. Do your spelling police carry guns too? If they do then cool, whatever, it can be vise. I'm not looking to get shot ;-)
No, they're pacifist. The funny thing is Sean is in the US so I corrected him (as am I but I grew up spelling the British way, much to my elementary teachers' dismay).
So my other idea got too complicated and I'm going to do something else with it. I decided to take Emma, Martin, and Fritz's advice and banged this one out tonight. Flash.
Hedgehogging
“This bar’s a fucking sausage fest. Want to go hedgehogging?” Chris knocked back the Jager Bomb and slammed the glass on the bar top.
“Hedgehogging?” Daniel asked.
“Yeah, you know, skunking, bat winging, hamster humping.” Chris wrote in the air with an invisible pen to signal the bartender for the check.
“Yeah, I really have no idea what you’re talking about.” Daniel sipped the melted remnants of a whiskey an ice.
“I’m talking about hitting up Brooks Road, snatching some tail. How much money you got?” Chris flipped through his wallet to count his own cash.
“We going hunting?”
“Not much hunting involved. I’m gonna need to hit up the A.T.M.”
“Oh, shit! You’re talking about hookers.” Daniel said, with a furred brow.
“No shit Sherlock. They’re nocturnal like hedgehogs.” Chris laughed like a jackal.
“I don’t know about that. Why don’t we just hit up the Windjammer and bag a couple cougars.”
“By the time you buy them drinks, get them home and call them a cab, you’ve done spent twice as much. Besides they’re not a sure thing. You spend 50 bucks on drinks then a 6’4” personal trainer with Zor-pecks and Fabio-hair swoops in and snags your prey. Plus they’re old, probably be asleep by midnight. Hedgehogging is way easier on a Wednesday night.” Chris elbowed Daniel in the shoulder.
“Fuck it. You only live once right? But if I’m going to do this I’ll need more whiskey.” Daniel finished off the watered down drink.
“And condoms.”
The only woman in the bar laid the check between them and rolled her eyes at condom-talk and breast-gawking.
“And condoms.”
They left two twenties on the bar and headed out for the street corners.
They stopped at the E-Z Go for condoms, hit up the liquor store with the A.T.M. next door.
“Two birds, one stone.” Chris was the clever one.
*
They stopped the Ford Escort at the corner of Brooks and Millbranch.
“I’be neber ven down here at night before.” Daniel said; drunk now. “These night crawlers are everywhere.”
Daniel and Chris laughed.
“Stay away from the red foxes and the snow leopards,” Chris said to warn Daniel.
“Huh?” Daniel grinned from ear to ear impatient to please his curiosity.
“There’s no such thing as an attractive prostitute,” Chris laughed. “The average-to-good-looking ones are always cops. Make sure you bag a skunk or a possum. Don’t forget.”
“You mean stinky and bald?”
“Pretty much.” Chris looked Daniel straight in the eye and grabbed his chin. “Make sure she’s a meth head. Cops don’t tweak.”
“How can you tell.”
“She’ll look like a used Q-tip.”
“Like a used Q-tip?”
“Skinny as fuck. Meth-heads don’t eat much and her teeth, if she has any, will look like ear wax. She’ll smell like cat piss and melted plastic.”
“Sounds Fantastic!” Daniel slapped Chris’s hand from his face. “I’m going to fuck me a skunk. Ha! It sounds funny when I say it.”
“No snow leopards. Don’t forget.”
Chris walked pass an owl, two bats and a hamster to approach a street-walker with jet black hair; blond roots sprouting from the middle of her scalp. Black knee-high pleather boots and fishnet stockings. Q-tip skinny, with about twelve ear-wax teeth. From three feet away he could smell burnt shower curtains. He smiled at his skunk and negotiated while he watched Daniel head to the opposite corner.
Daniel walked pass a red fox, a skunk, two hedgehogs, and a wombat. He approached a petite Mexican woman with greasy hair wearing leopard print tights. She wore inch long lashes, thick with mascara. The jade eyeliner made her big green eyes shine.
“So you know her, Pepe?” Chris asked his skunk and pointed at Daniel's prospect.
“She only wurkt dis corner a week now. She tink her shit don’t stank."
Chris reached for ass-meat and smacked his hand against what felt like bare tail bone.
“He went and fetched a Margay. He’s so fucking fucked!” Chris laughed, grabbed Pepe’s hand, and walked toward the motel.
JR, at the wire! Booyah!
I just wrote a fairy tale that featured a pair of retired hedgehogs. Now I can never look at it again.
Sorry bout that Emma.
got a couple of hooker stories for this prompt.
Liked the dialog driven stuff - so easy to read... good show JR.
@Sean - Milli Vanilli = ruined the world... (smile)
Fun fun. Hedgehogs indeed.
Right, that's everyone subbed that was going to methinks. Calling it.
I'll have the poll up soon. Today, maybe tomorrow. Also, new prompt coming sooon. WAR fun, you don't want to miss it.
Poll is up.
FLASH ME! NOVEMBER - WAR QUOTES
The new month is upon us and it is a month of death and destruction, with WAR2 on the horizon.
Flash me! will work alongside the WAR this time, and we want a collection of memorable fictitious quotes and trash-talk from the competitors.
Generals and ace-shooters alike, all the voices are welcome here.
Your fictional war quotes can be short and sweet (think - I love the smell of napalm in the morning) or they can be stoic and uplifting (think - Churchill, think - we will fight them on the beaches). Add a made-up name to attribute the quote to, or simply have it from a nameless soldier. Up to you.
No word count or anything, and it's just a bit of fun this time around, there won't be a poll but there will be a list of the coolest lines which I will repost in the WAR threads.
So, who says it best? Those about to die. Who's tongue is sharpest? Him with his crosshair over your heart.
Have at it folks. All WAR2 participants are expected to submit at least one quote. If you don't I'll come get ya :)
"Nothing is more intimate than the last gaze shared with the man you've just slain; that light that leaves his eyes will settle upon you like so much weighted dust, until you, too, have fallen." --Unknown
"There is War inside us all. Waiting, able to burn you from the inside out, or spew forth and set fire to your enemies." Unknown
Here. I also posted this in the War thread, but I like this little contest. It's also slightly different here.
'War is not a thing, nor an action. It is a state of mind.'
- Francis Neil
Never love your enemy; run him through with all the venom, sanctification, and animal fury you can muster. Only afterwards, perched victoriously atop his broken body, may you offer pause to respect him.
"What's it like? It's like anything else unless you're one of those people who overthink things. Killing someone isn't exciting. Killing isn't intimate. It proves nothing. It proves you can do it. Doing it proves you can do it. Does that mean anything? No. It doesn't mean anything. It is something, but it doesn't mean anything else. It just is. I know. You never learned not to ask questions like that? When was the last time you saw or read an interview where they asked someone 'What's it like to kill someone?' I'll bet never. And I'll bet you didn't realize that meant it was a bad question, because as much as you like to think, you don't think about the right things. Ask me another. Ask me about this soda can. What's it like? Describe it to me. You can buy a fucking soda pop like anybody else if you want to know the answer so goddamn bad. This is over. No more. No more questions."
"I'll cut out your eyes to see from your point of view. And I'll still have to kill you."
-drafted soldier-
I've been inCharleston all week on vacation, visiting Ft. Sumpter, so here is an imagined war quote conversation between Beauregard ( confed) and Anderson ( union).
Beauregard: Dear Sir, my trusted West Point mentor and friend, my leader, my teacher, I beg you to leave Ft, Sumpter, but if not Sir, this is war.
Anderson: ( from his position at sumpter) I fight for the Union and freedom for all. Remember your training son.
Beauregard: I fight for freedom as well my friend.
And with that, Beauregard sends the command to unleash the first shot of the bloody war.
Here we go friends, a civil war.
Great start, folks. Loving this already.
"Bro. Jesus, bro. I'm sorry! Didn't mean to shoot you. Hell, I shouldn't have enlisted for the mollies."
"I crashed planes into buildings before it was cool." --Hipster Kamikaze pilot
"Though I walk through the valley of--so it goes--the shadow of death, I will--so it goes--fear no evil. Thy rod--so it goes--and thy staff comfort me. So it goes." --Religous Sniper in action who is also a Kurt Vonnegut fan
"You'll be drinking morphine out of your boot when I'm done with you, you Nazi bastard!" - American soldier, WWII
From Slaughterhouse Five:
"This, too, was the title of a book by Trout, The Gutless Wonder. It was about a robot who had bad breath, who became popular after his halitosis was cured. But what made the story remarkable, since it was written in 1932, was that it predicted the widespread use of burning jellied gasoline on human beings. It was dropped on them from airplanes. Robots did the dropping. They had no conscience, and no circuits which would allow them to imagine what was happening to the people on the ground. Trout's leading robot looked like a human being, and could talk and dance and so on, and go out with girls. And nobody held it against him that he dropped jellied gasoline on people. But they found his halitosis unforgivable. But then he cleared that up, and he was welcomed to the human race."
Was there a word count limit...?
@ Liana It is supposed to be an original quote, you write it, and then attribute it to some made up character, or you can just put Unknown.
Oh man, that's what I get for not reading through all the comments, or the prompt. Grrrr to me!!! Being too busy: excuse or justification?
There once was a girl in Seattle
Whose beau had just signed up for battle.
"Will you wait?" said the boy,
(Held the gun like a toy).
And she found a new beau in Seattle.
(Lucinda Dwellington)
"Forget the girls back home, it's time to have some fun." -- A prostitute
Relish the mayhem.--Unknown
I write my history with the blood of the vanquished.
--Unknown
The vitriol and murder speak seems to have slowed off. I suppose folks have an excuse, what with writing their stories and all. If you need a break from that, then more smack talk!
"And death... death is not even the worst of it. It's the shame, the slime of that ghost limb you carry within, for having returned without triumph. The knowledge that, win or lose, you have not gained a thing, but lost it all on those foreign fields, in the gurgling of blood."
Hernest Emingway
"The problem with Jimmy was he was Jimmy. He always did stupid shit like this. In the fourth grade, he ate a whole box of Crayolas for a buck fifty. Seventh, he jumped off Grant's mom's roof and broke his arm. Twelfth grade, he got himself drafted. Somebody probably dared him to walk through that field."
"You aren't disturbed by this?"
"Yeah, well, what do you expect?"
-- Wayne Sykes to a reporter, commenting on his brother's death.
"These young kids they say, Show me your War face! Show me your War face!
As if that's what really matters. As if that's all it takes.
Truth is, snarling and yelling don't make a War face. Truth is, it takes more than a beet red angry roar to take a man's life. You wanna see a real War face I ask 'em, a real War face is in the eyes, those hollow sunk glass reflections haunted by the past. It's the death mask of your comrade bleeding out in your arms. It's PTSD, POW and KIA. A real War face is the broken agony worn by parents burying their kid. It consumes the widow and young 'uns it leaves behind.
A War face, I tell them, is what I see everytime I look in a mirror. You wanna see a real War face, then look closer."
~ Comrade Martin "Macabre" Black.
@Dave nice
Thanks. It's what I do.
Alexander the Great’s proclamation,
'I am never afraid of an army of Lions led into battle by a Lamb. I fear more the army of Lambs who have a Lion to lead them.'
I have nowhere to put this little thing, so I'll just post it as a super-flash (under 100 words):
Sweet Jesus
When everyone is telling you that you should accept Christ into you, it's not a terribly large leap in a boy's imagination before he's sticking a crucifix up his ass while jerking off to pictures depicting the whores of Babylon. Mostly, it slides in with a little spit, but it takes some wrangling to get his feet to pop through the sphincter. Sliding it in and back out slowly, Jesus touches me in just the right place. Jesus loves me. Yes, he does.
Actually I could see you saying that on the battlefield, waving that crucifix in your hogtied enemie's face right before you shove it down his throat and make him choke on it, then you might say, "Now Jesus loves you too."
"You call that a bayonet to the kidneys? That 'aint nothin'. You ain't been slain 'till you've been speared by the Bekanator." - Anybody fighting in WAR 2 who lost to Bekanator in WAR 1.
"They had been pounding at each other with all they had. They shot their guns. They waved their swords. They thrust their knives. They even picked up sticks and stones in a last act of desperation.
Only then did they call to God, the tie-breaker.
One lost."
This is still running if anyone wants to vent some vitriol or get some smack talking done in the form of a fictional quote.
Some of the ones there have been so far have been great.
+
Just to let y'all know, I have not forgotten or abandoned this. There are some EPIC plans. I have been travelling to the north pole to speak with Chester (he lives there now) and we have been cooking stuff up.
WAR is the big game for the winter. There will be (almost) flash battles being conducted in the pit. Fixes can be aquired there. Or go here, this is a great site for reading flash in the meantime.
Flash Me! will be back. Bigger, harder, dirtier, and more flashy than ever.
Soon.... there will be SIN.
Glad to hear it Wicked. Flash is awesome. makes me think, and write.
This is my take:
Prime Contact
Exposing my flesh to the bacteria was not my idea, rather he had asked me in the desperation of a man without any further hope. He looked at me the way that my terrier used to do when he needed to go outside, so here I was, sitting in the sterile chair on a ship adrift amongst the stars.
“I promise this will be quick,” his voice was tort with emotion, “for all our sakes I hope this cure works.”
Fear gripped my chest, yet I knew this was the only way. The apothecary had been euthanised prior to our emergency awaking, so Mandrake was doing his best with the limited knowledge he had as a noviate. Gripping the edge of the chair, I forced myself to stay calm, for his sake more than anything, “I'm sure I'll be find, just promise me that you will stay by the monitoring station when I am quarantined.”
Grimly he nodded, and taking a small gel patch from the tray to our side, it pressed it against the skin on the back of my hand, then locked my wrists into place with restraints, “it should take effect in the next few minutes, so I'll lock down the room from the outside.”
Watching him leave, I tried my best not to cry. None of the others had survived this procedure, and they had all stoically borne the burden of hope much as I was doing. As crew of the ship it was our job to keep the hundred thousand cryogenically frozen passengers safe, even if it meant sacrificing our lives to do it. We had all drawn lots to see in which order we would go in testing the cure, and now it was my turn.
“Lord Vishnu hear my prayers. Help us find a cure for this disease, let my life save those who slumber still in this craft. I prayer that my life will not be lost in vain.”
As the minutes ticked by, I played over the moments after I had been released from the long slumber of the cryogenics, panic setting in amongst the crew as we realised that a spaceborn virus had somehow managed to infiltrate the ship and infect the water supply. In an attempt to stem the flow, our AI had euthanised the worst hit sections, including most of the senior crew, which left us all desperately searching through StellaNet for answers. By the ships chronometre we were ninety three months out from our system of origin, and there was no chance of a rescue ship getting to us in time.
“May Ganesha watch over my mother, aid her, give her sucker and comfort, and may the mandate of all the Lords of Heaven bring her peace.”
If this was to be my last moments in this lifetime, I wanted to make right with the universe. When was the last time I had been to temple? Not since I had been on Sahar station probably, and even then it was to say hello to the Guru. I never truly believed the tales of old Mother India, yet now in these desperate moments the hope of the next life, the next turn of the wheel, brought me comfort. What would I choose to be? Given my lack of faith probably a cricket or some other insect, though knowing my luck I could just as easily be a Quillian's t'ucha. Being a botanist I didn't think that that being an insect was all that bad, considering their short life spans I would quickly move round the wheel, but then again, how much balance was in my life?
“Lord Varuna spare me your wrath, let me cross over into the next life as Gutra did across the Kuleptra.”
A tingling in my hand brought my attention back into the room, it moved and gradually crept up my nervous system. Going numb, my hands turned a pale shade of purple, which followed the up my arms out of sight under my uniform. As it reached the top of my arm, for the first time I head the voice, like the rustle of paper in the wind, calling me from an unimaginable distance.
“We have returned.”
Feeling the muscles in my neck seize up, I was unable to call out, but in my mind I let out a scream as imagines of a thousand thousand worlds unknown to human eyes flashed through my mind, a billion billion voices all calling out in cacophonous disharmony.
“We have returned. Let everyone voice sing out to our majesty, for we have returned.”
In the instant before the numbness reached my brain, I looked out of the room at him, his eyes filled with tears, and the last thing I saw was the cleansing flames of the decontamination protocols claiming my body on the pyre of hope.
Do we have a new monthly flash prompt?
Better.
You have THE SINTHOLOGY.
Is FLASH ME dead?
Don't be dead.
Is Chester dead, or just in Pane?
Har dee har!
Get it? Pane!
Don't be dead.
Chester is in Hawaii. He's going to write the novel. Unquote.
Yeah, I chatted with him yesterday. He seems pretty upbeat.
At least, not dead.
Hawaii. Fucker.
Not because I'm jealous, but because every time I spell Hawaii I have to fucking look it up.