Seb's picture
Seb from Thanet, Kent, UK October 30, 2012 - 3:48am

So I'm about 20,000 words into a novel now, and all is going well. I am stuck at one part though. I have a section of a chapter missing, simply saying:

INSERT EMBARRASSING ANECDOTE HERE

I need some embarrassing stories. I've used a few of my own already, but need some more. Whatever is written here may well be butchered, torn apart, and rewritten or incorporated into something else, so don't give me something you're planning on using yourself.

Basically I need an anecdote from your childhood or teenage years, something you wouldn't normally share. The kind of thing that makes you cringe just thinking about it. It doesn't even have to be you, it can be someone you know. It can be funny, but that's not essential, as long as it is embarrassing.

Any takers?

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human October 30, 2012 - 4:24am

When I was around 9 or 8 we had a game of kickball. I was up for the kick and I was not a great kicker, but not bad either. So the ball comes a rollin' towards me and I ready up. I kick the ball my hardest and start sprinting to first base. I was a chubby kid so I wasn't very fast either. I'm almost at the base when the ball hits me and I'm outed. The only thing is no one threw the ball, I had outed myself. When I kicked, the path of the ball made it so it landed right on me. Everyone laughed.

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade October 30, 2012 - 4:34am

When I was about eight years old, I was bowling with my mom (she was in leagues, practicing). I was striding forward for the release, with the bowling ball raised behind my back. It was a heavy ball, probably too heavy for my age and inexperience. I swung the ball down low for the release.

I slammed the ball into one of my ankles. This took both my legs out from beneath me. I entered the lane ass-first. I slid quite a few feet on my back. The whole bowling alley erupted into laughter. No "atta-boys" or "are you OKs?" It was tooooo hilarious. For them....

Embarrassing at the time. Very funny to think about, now....

OtisTheBulldog's picture
OtisTheBulldog from Somerville, MA is reading The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz October 30, 2012 - 7:24pm

My mother LOVES telling the story about the time she took toddler me to the grocery store and she started talking to a friend, only to turn around and see toddler me pissing on some plants.

Seb's picture
Seb from Thanet, Kent, UK October 31, 2012 - 2:23am

Nice.

These are good, keep them coming. It's interesting seeing what other people find embarrasing.

I once dyed my hair jet black, It wasn't embarrassing at the time, I was about 15 and I thought I was the nuts, but looking back now at old photos I cringe like, well, Cringer.

Anyone ever been embarrassed by someone else, then got revenge in later life?

Remij's picture
Remij October 31, 2012 - 11:06pm

removed

kimberlynotkim's picture
kimberlynotkim from L.A. (currently in Hawaii) is reading my phone November 1, 2012 - 8:05am

Redacted!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 31, 2012 - 11:30am

That one time the exterminator found the nude photos. 

 

sean of the dead's picture
sean of the dead from Madisonville, KY is reading Peckerwood, by Jed Ayres October 31, 2012 - 11:42am

that one time the exterminator gave me a high-five on his way out...i don't even understand why he did that

PopeyeDoyle's picture
PopeyeDoyle October 31, 2012 - 11:44am

That one time I pretended to be an exterminator in Kentucky.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters October 31, 2012 - 11:48am

Remij's picture
Remij October 31, 2012 - 11:04pm

removed

Seb's picture
Seb from Thanet, Kent, UK October 31, 2012 - 12:07pm

Remij, it is from a feminine perspective, and I'd love to hear both your stories.

Kimberly, the overheard phone call is a nice idea, might bring that in somewhere, but maybe the narrator made the call...I'll think about that one. Watch this space.

Averydoll & sean, exterminators? Don't you clean your houses? Popeye obviously does, not just his own. Nude photos is a great idea though.

Keep them coming, this is hugely helpful (and rather enjoyable). I've got people left, right and center telling me their most embarrassing moments, at home, at work, all of them. You guys are lagging in comparison.

Remij's picture
Remij October 31, 2012 - 11:05pm

removed. 

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 31, 2012 - 8:47pm

The time I told a stranger on the internet my utmost embarrassing story.

JEFFREY GRANT BARR's picture
JEFFREY GRANT BARR from Central OR is reading Nothing but fucking Shakespeare, for the rest of my life October 31, 2012 - 9:11pm

J.Y must be a redditor. 

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human October 31, 2012 - 9:19pm

That one time...

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 31, 2012 - 9:23pm

The time I was on the internet on Halloween instead of something resembling sex.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like October 31, 2012 - 9:26pm

TIL you can AMA

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade November 3, 2012 - 6:31am

The time I had to clean out a gay friend's stash of porno and latex boyfriends, including a 24" double-donged latex boyfriend. The reason I had to do this? The friend was laid up in the hospital with Guillain-Barre syndrome, and he wanted to spare his parents (and himself) the embarrassment of the stash. Something similar had happened another time when he'd sent his father to his apartment to find something...

At the time, I was embarrassed for myself, my friend, and my friend's father...

...and, I thought of Winston Wolfe from Pulp Fiction, and how uncool my role as fixer was...

fport's picture
fport from Canada is reading The World Until Yesterday - Jared Diamond November 4, 2012 - 12:15pm

Standing at a gas pump in my youth and making a comment on an ugly bicyclist across the street without noticing her husband filling his bike tire with air in hearing range.

 

Liana's picture
Liana from Romania and Texas is reading Naked Lunch November 4, 2012 - 12:32pm

There's always the "how far along are you?" to a woman who gained weight. I did do that (say that). Then, seeing the shock on her face and realizing what I had just done, and knowing she had just finished her dissertation, I said, "when do you defend it?" - to which, with relief (and still some suspicion), she answered that she'd already defended it. I still count that as the best verbal save in my life.

fport's picture
fport from Canada is reading The World Until Yesterday - Jared Diamond November 4, 2012 - 1:45pm

Holy crap Batman.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated November 4, 2012 - 4:51pm

A girl liked me. I liked her back. This girl invites me over. I come over to her place, she has to come down from the third floor to let me in. I know she is sick, but she says she wants company. We talk. We click. I move in for a kiss. She doesn't stop me. I'm pumped, because she is pretty. shortly after lips touch she pushes me away. I'm a bit puzzled, she seems into me. She reaches for trash can and vomits. She bounces back and forth between vomiting and laying on her bed. I know it is her being sick, but still feels like the act of kissing me made her sick to her stomach. Hard hit for the old ego. She said she felt guilty and wanted me to try to wait it out/promised to make it up to me. Eventually it reached the point she had her buddy who lived next door walk me out to lock up after me. I went home and started drinking, heavily. When she called for the rain check later that week I never answered, which is really odd for me. I almost never dodge a phone call. I admit it was unfair, but it was just too gross/odd for me. Lucky for me, I didn't catch whatever she had.

Seb's picture
Seb from Thanet, Kent, UK November 4, 2012 - 5:02pm

Ouch. Love it.

I'm like a smack addict, give me more.

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from CA, TX, Japan, back to CA is reading The Tyrant - Michael Cisco, The Devil Takes You Home - Gabino Iglesias November 4, 2012 - 7:42pm

As a kid I once walked straight into a freshly-cleaned glass door (that was usually left open) in front of a large group of people. This was, as you might imagine, a touch embarrassing. But the real kicker was when my mother did the same thing an hour or so later after coming to pick me up.