So you know how sometimes you hear people talking and you can't not listen? And then you're told you're supposed to do this in order to make authentic dialogue? (or I just tell myself that to justify a bad habit...)
So the table next to me had a small group of people talking about the fate of the South Street Seaport in New York, in particular the museum.
"Because how many bankers are really interested in crusty old seaman?"
Excellent topic, S.
Best (or worst, I guess, due to circumstances) one I was witness to was maybe 20 years ago? Local bar, Feb. 14, a Sat. nite, on the Southside: This took place beginning around 4:30 pm:
Anxious, expectant, young man of 25? Well-dressed, looking around. Young (22? or a few plus), very blond woman in skin-tight but tasteful screaming red short dress, enters bar/restaurant. He stands up, with dozen roses in hand, joyous/penintent look on his face. She leans forward, picks up a glass of water, throws it in his face, and calmly, in a LOUD voice, states that he is the biggest asshole, two-timing, low-life, son of a bitch, scumbag she's ever known!, and something about and she NEVER, Ever, wants to see his face again as long as she lives. She exits bar/restaurant; scumbag sits for the next hour at same table, offering roses to everyone who is leaving, no one taking them. SOB drinks (of course) too much, our friend who owns the bar asks the cabbie waiting to take drunk jerk home, and pays fare plus tip.
Worst Valentines Day I've ever seen for some one other than me!
Ah, damn. I would have taken a rose. Poor guy... I mean, who knows what he did, but ouch.
And I've drawn a blank after that story...
Excellent. We had an "overheard" thread on another forum back in the day, and I filled it with random awesome.
Best thing I can remember overhearing was a heated sign-language argument in a pizza place, all this flesh slapping and table pounding and guttural noises. I borrowed it for a scene in a book.
First and only time I heard my mother use the C word, it was just like that scene in Arrested Development years later when Tobias got walked in on by his daughter while saying to his wife, "You cunt … -try-music-loving woman" or whatever. My mother instead effected a really bad accent upon seeing me, like, "I … cunt undastand a wuhd yer sayin." Ah, childhood.
On a crowded bus stop (our bus stops get way more crowded) a man slaps a shabby looking guy and yells, "Shame on you. This is NOT how you pickpocket." Granted, this guy meant something else, but he put it down awkwardly that it sounded like he was scolding him for not pickpocketing him correctly.
Okay, that's not true. I'm just making it up. But this place is so cramped and crowded, you can't help but overhear if people are talking, no matter how low they are speaking.
Sometimes this place teems with students off to their schools. I remember brushing by two girls (possibly high school students), one of whom said, "and then he DIED!", and the other burst out laughing. To this day, I'm trying to find out what situation it could be that a death of someone/thing makes the other crack up.
@Gordon: Of all the endless stream of profanities I heard in my household from both parents, I have to say I never heard mention of the C word; I remember that show, though!
Like your mom, and way too many times I care to remember, I'm afraid I've also had to change horses midstream when my son made an impromptu appearance while I was carrying on a heated, one-way conversation with tv/radio/former husband. Sigh. Life goes on . . .
I grew up spending a lot of time in a Bronx beauty parlor. Most Bronx conversations are difficult to NOT eavesdrop on, but needless to say, I have a firm grasp on how to write a discussion between two men regarding the quality of their velour tracksuits.
I promise I'm not exagerrating.
About five years ago, Overheard in New York was my favorite site. Haven't been back until today, but good to see it's still going. They've got other ones for offices and beaches as well.
It's bring-your-kid-to-work-day, and my coworker just brought his 12-y.o. adopted Chinese daughter by my editing room to show her this video daddy's in that I just wrapped up for that "Framily" campaign: you know, with the Frobinsons and all that? After it was done, she said, "Where I come from, they call that "Famiry." I died!
"Where's Cooter??"
"I don't know, I think he's with Geraldine."
Gordon that is a hoot!
SConley, is Cooter as in "drunk as Cooter Brown"?
Overheard at a Salvation Army Thrift store: "Naw, man, Shanara texted me and said them FBI was sitting in they cars outside my crib, so I be like, 'Fuck that shit, I just gonna hang around the Goodwills all day!"
SP: in Fort Wayne?
Couple having sex in a room next to mine in college, the lady was very dumb, very sheltered. I changed the names.
Slapping sounds and John Doe saying "Whose your daddy," in his best I'm the man voice.
Very long hesitation, his girlfriend Jane Smith says in a very confused voice, "Tom Smith?"
mine's a very long conversation in one of the rare free days in gov. class in high school- this particularly stupid girl was apparently having some guy come over to her house all the time (that was not normally connected with her, cliche-wise and all that) and banging her. and the two guys she was going on and on with about all this were trying to get her to see that, yeah, he's really in it just for the sex. it was hilarious how she danced around it for so long, couldn't seem to wrap her mind around the concept, until she finally said something to the effect of "so you think he's just wanting to do it with me?" and they both simultaneously give her a crazy-eyed "yes!" with half-amused, half-disbelieving smiles over the fact that she didn't get it. still not sure she accepted it at that point either.
^
Sometimes the truth is hard to accept.
One of the things I miss about living in Seattle and taking public transit several times a week. I used to hear these young (19-29) hipster dudes talking about various girls they'd banged and speculating on sex. It was hilarious.
@justwords: Yep, gotta love the Fort.
I love that is was the 'Goodwills' Reminds me of all the people in New York who shop at 'Trader Joe'
How hard is it to put the S in the right spot?!?!?! It says it on the goddam sign!!
@SP: never been there; is it fun? (not Goodwills, Fort Wayne)
@ TheScrivener
Shall we start talking apostrophes?
I would rather talk about apostles.
We all got problems.
but a bitch ain't one?
Crappy 24 hour deli in New York at about 2am.
Two cops in uniform, one is a woman and the other is a short dumpy man. They have a pal with them, he's really fit in a tight T-shirt.
Cops are in line up to get a sandwich. While the sandwiches are being prepared, dumpy man cop says, "I've...forgotten IT." (perhaps he is trying to be subtle?)--His holster is empty.
Man in tight T-shirt says, "I've got two right here." He's flexing his arms.
Courtesy, Professionalism, Respect---NYPD. *rolling eyes*
he's talking about his radar gun, right?
