helpfulsnowman's picture
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helpfulsnowman from Colorado is reading But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman October 6, 2016 - 1:24pm

As some of you may know, I work in a library. We accept book donations, and once in a while we get treasure. Like this:

The novelization of the movie that one critic reviewed by saying: There's an excessive amount of excess -- a mind-numbing plurality of firearm battles, vehicular explosions and brutally frank sexual talk.

What better use of this gem than as a prize for a contest?

Here's the contest:

Create an action movie novelization. This must include a title (must be original, although nonexistant sequels will work), a tagline (like the above What's forgotten is not always gone), and a summary NO LONGER than 25 words (like the one on the above cover).

The winner receives bragging rights, PLUS I will ship this book to them via snail mail.

Deadline: October 16th, 2016.

Post your entries on this thread.

helpfulsnowman's picture
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helpfulsnowman from Colorado is reading But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman October 10, 2016 - 2:14pm

I came up with mine in the shower this morning:

Demolition Man II: The Wreckoning

To save the future
he must demolish the past

10 years ago he came to the future. Now, he has to demolish the one thing that might be indestructible: his past.

V.R.Stone's picture
V.R.Stone from London is reading Savages by Don Winslow October 14, 2016 - 1:54am

Afternoons of Thunder

Assholes finish first. Again.

Can retired racer Cole Trickle combat his mid-life crisis by winning one more race and persuading his colorectal surgeon to sleep with him?

helpfulsnowman's picture
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helpfulsnowman from Colorado is reading But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman October 14, 2016 - 11:12am

I was in, and then I hit the word "colorectal" and burst out laughing.

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal October 14, 2016 - 11:24am

Jack Whiteguy

Violent scowling impatient buff anti-hero loner ex-CIA ex-military vigilante dude broods, let's no one get close, and goes on bloody revenge killing spree.

helpfulsnowman's picture
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helpfulsnowman from Colorado is reading But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman October 14, 2016 - 1:57pm

"bloody revenge killing spree"

nice.

helpfulsnowman's picture
Community Manager
helpfulsnowman from Colorado is reading But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman October 19, 2016 - 6:39pm

Well, submissions have closed, and the winner (declared by coin flip in this case) is...V.R. Stone! Congratulations, and if you PM me your address, I will happily send you your prize. Well-earned.

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal October 20, 2016 - 4:28pm

Eh, I liked his better.

helpfulsnowman's picture
Community Manager
helpfulsnowman from Colorado is reading But What If We're Wrong? by Chuck Klosterman October 20, 2016 - 6:10pm

I still think "bloody revenge killing spree" has a charm all its own...

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal October 20, 2016 - 6:43pm

yeah but trying to nail your colorectal surgeon? i mean... bravo.

V.R.Stone's picture
V.R.Stone from London is reading Savages by Don Winslow October 25, 2016 - 8:15am

Uh... you want to ship THAT book all the way to the UK?!

I just entered for the glory.

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal October 25, 2016 - 9:38pm

maybe he can just pirate you an e-copy...

wait, who'd bother pirating that?