Questions & Help : Classy/Sexy Description vs Durrrrrrty Sexy Description

Henry Miller was very descriptive when it came to that sort of thing.  Try Tropic of Cancer or Tropic of Capricorn.

His penis twanged harder than a banjo string as it popped out of his shit streaked Hanes. She could smell the foul mess in his shorts and blood rushed to her giant, sloppy clitorus before she could even get her man sized fingers into her yeast infected hole. She lifted three hundred pounds of wart infested and hairy gut to find her cavernous lady grin buried deeply within the muck of two unbathed thighs. Her wedding ring slipped off into the chiasmic void due to the stagnant juices excreting from its walls, dropping deep into the unknown as she busted a canker sore on his cock in between her toothless gums. He would have came at that but just as the rancid juices were being sucked down his mothers tar ridden throat his father walked in, sweaty beer belly swaying, and he knew his asshole was headed for certain destruction.
Is this dirty/sexy enough?
Read some harlequin romance novels, they always have softly detailed sex scenes. If you want to write harlequin you need only a few words, quivering, heaving, voluptuous, throbbing, exploding, and bursting haha!

Classic Victorian erotica:

He touched her chaste breasts with his frigid lips.  They held hands briskly in the subtle snow of the mandatory garden.

"Mary, would you consider being bethrothed to me?" Malcolm said, smoking a pipe.

"Why, Malcolm, I would be delighted," she replied with a jolly kick in her step.

He gave her a prompt kiss on the cheek and she patted his back in agreement.  They made the announcment to their mutual families, handshakes were given out furiously.

On their wedding night, they consummated their relationship quite frivolously but in a spiritual way with the utmost importance to detail.   It was quite pure, I assure you.  Their child was of the finest breeding and had a healthy demeanor of which only European children can.  A lower class of woman helped birth the baby and was shot soon thereafter for being a harlot.

The Victorians weren't uptight about their porn at all, they loved the stuff. They got pretty freaky with it, especially considering how uptight we believe they were. Here are some excerpts from The Memoirs of a Young Rakehell:

We were in such a position that we could clearly see ourselves in the mirror. I led her toward the bed, where she sat down and said: “I know you want to see all of me.” She raised her legs and displayed her hairy cunt right up to her pot hole. I immediately set to tonguing her, and lingered at the task for quite some time. Her lips began to swell. When I went to insert my tool, she laughed and said: “Not like that. Get on the bed.”

I asked her to please use the familiar “thou” form with me, and to allow me to do the same with her.

I got onto the bed. She climbed on top of me and I thus had her whole beautiful body before my eyes. She told me to play with her boobies. Then she grasped my prick, paraded it awhile against her love lips, and at the same time asked me to be sure not to come inside her. Then she suddenly shoved my tool in right up to the ballbearings. She was riding me so strenuously that it was almost painful. Round about that time she came, and I could feel all the warmth of her cunt, hear her heaving sighs, and see her eyes roll back in her head.

I asked her to tell me all about it. She said that her husband could get an erection only if she beat him with a rod until she drew blood.

 

She likewise had to let him strike her, but only with his hand, and now she was so used to it that she enjoyed it more than it hurt her. He also made her peepee and shit in his presence, so eager was he not to miss a trick. And he got especially worked up when she had her periods.

After she had struck him fifty or even a hundred times, she had to hurry and slip his half-erect member inside, for otherwise it fell limp, except when she licked his buttocks or let him lick her between the toes. Whenever that happened he was able to keep a good hard on, but all these things were pretty disagreeable.

I was holding her cunt, which the bout of pleasure had caused to narrow, with my hand. Both of us thrust our fingers into the other’s arse-hole. I let my prick slide softly into her cunt, and began to rock as before, sucking her nipples all the while.

 

I kept my finger moving in her throbbing arse-hole. She came a second time with a cry of delight. She had taken hold of my balls from behind and was squeezing them so tightly that she hurt me, and I had to ask her to let them go.

After having caressed me gently, she turned her head toward the pillow, so that her magnificent buttocks were prominently displayed. I had her rise to her knees and lift her buttocks high. I sent a wad of spit flying into her pothole, and thrust my prick in easily. At each stroke I felt my balls bounce off her buttock cheeks.

 

She kept telling me how good it felt. I could touch her hairy cunt with one hand and fondle her breasts with the other. Just as I was about to come I started to withdraw but she contracted her buttock muscles around my glans, and I ejaculated squarely into her arse-hole. Afterwards she told me that that was the first time she’d done it that way, and that, although it had hurt in the beginning, in the end she’d enjoyed it.

Feeling my prick harden in her buttocks hole, her sensual forces had awakened and she had had another orgasm at the same time as mine.

Ah yeah, but there is a lot of it out there. I read an interesting article on Cracked.com (a favorite of mine) about 5 Historical Sex Myths You Believe (or something similar). The Puritans were kinkier than you'd think, as well.

And don't get me started on Austen.

I think the more rigid a society is the weirder their sex is. I mean watch an American made porn and then a Japanese made porn.

I just remembered we have crush and hard crush though. Of course it would be Americans to make fat feet stomping on food, animals, penises, etc a fetish haha. But then japs are into monster rape and tentacles so I guess it sorta evens out.

Renee: I'm giggling, giggling, giggling at the excerpts you posted. Just wonderful.

This is my favorite:

She told me to play with her boobies.

Oh, I love it. Next time I'm sexing it up, during a moment of wild abandon I will shout play with my boobies! and see what kind of reaction it gets me. Just because it's the kind of thing that needs to be done.

Oh, I love it. Next time I'm sexing it up, during a moment of wild abandon I will shout play with my boobies! and see what kind of reaction it gets me. Just because it's the kind of thing that needs to be done.

I've never gotten a poor response when asking a man to focus on my tits, regardless of the terminology.

Uh okay. My wife says I don't suck them hard enough.

This thread is providing me with lots of giggles.

What is this 'raw dog' anal you speak of?

I hope you don't mean sloppy ass seconds?!

I just don't know how I feel about that.

I pulled my dog on acid once. It was the most difficult and anti-climatic orgasm to date. Actually I've had worse.

Anal wasn't in THAT sentence. Read Palahniuk's Choke and you will see what dog is. Though I'm sure you can figure out what I'm talking about. 

Drugs are awesome. They kill brain cells so you don't have to remember more than you need to.