whiteliz's picture
whiteliz from Sarasota, FL is reading Paw Patrol books to her two- and four-year olds December 5, 2011 - 10:31pm

What does LBL stand for? Line-by-line? Letter-by-letter?  

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin December 6, 2011 - 12:05am

Line by line. Unless you are real detailed. Then maybe letter by letter.

-

Avery, I'm not going to lie, a lot of the formative experiences that really jackhammered that lesson into my psyche happened in middle school. And I was creepy then, I did stalk girls, it was an ugly situation. Imagine a homeschooled mogli suddenly pumped full of testosterone and with a crazy fixation on high minded 19th century style romance terrorizing everything without a Y chromosome. So, to this day, long after I've learned all of the various lessons there it is still my habit to assume that any quality which I posess would be viewed by women as somewhat shocking and repulsive. The truth is that my ex found the photographic memory quite charming (but of course, in any quasi-stable relationship it's obviously less of a liability, your significant other would like to think you pay attention to them), although again, the fear of reliving one of those embarassing incidents prevents me from being too forward with details I pick up in such a manner.

At some point someone needs a detail, which pocket of the satchel does X keep their pens, she sent T in to find them and they can't, or it just happens to come up in some sort of misspoken outburst where I barge into a conversation to explain that Y is only on chapter 11 of the book you're discussing and the relevant plot arcs to the conversation aren't even apparent for another 83 pages, so will you idiots please stop going back and forth about this. And then, all of the sudden, I'm that creepy little jacked up mogli all over again and I sulk off ASAP.

Because these are people I see three times a week tops. And I never speak to them. But for some reason I know strange details about their lives. And when it comes out, sometimes they find it disconcerting.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 6, 2011 - 12:11am

Nietzche, the Bible and the works of Marquis de Sade are all the same, if you think about it.  They are all obsessed with sex, death and transcending consciousness in some way and being better than other people.  It's all bullshit, no offense, that's why I prefer stuff about meditation and not smiting or raping people.  I think a person can transcend consciousness without being an asshole.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin December 6, 2011 - 12:21am

lol, alien, I do a similar bit with Marx and Adam Smith where I assert that as they are both materialistic calls to arms that advocate control of the means of production as a means to control the wider society the only significant difference between Wealth of Nations and the Communist Manifesto is the target audience. 

Raelyn's picture
Raelyn from California is reading The Liars' Club December 6, 2011 - 1:28am

On another note, I registered for community college today, but don't get to pick my classes for another week. I'm on a transfer agreement to UC Berkley. YAY!

.'s picture
. December 6, 2011 - 6:25am

I have the paper work in order to buy a house. This will be my first of many rental properties. It helps to know a broker. Maybe I'll get a real estate license and wear pinstriped sports coats. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 7:14am

@nkwilczy - I have to say I think a photographic memory would be great.  Although i can kind of see your point.  I tend to ramble and tell stories that don't seem to relate to anything, they just pop in my mind.  I have a friend, and she has a photographic memory.  She remembers every random thing I've ever told her, and it is creepy to an extent, because I forget telling her these things.  So it becomes unnerving when she mentions certain things that happened to me years before we met.  

 

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 6, 2011 - 7:58am

My wife seems to remember every stupid or rude thing I have ever said and brings it up during an argument. I think that's just being a woman though. Kidding!

.'s picture
. December 6, 2011 - 8:07am

Today On The Patty Winters Show: Salad Bars.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 8:21am

Filthy things. 

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 6, 2011 - 8:32am

Is there a dirty joke in there, Dakota?  About tossing salads? LOL

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated December 6, 2011 - 9:01am

@averydoll  - I'm under the impression there are only like 8 people in America with perfect memory, but yeah if you get too far from the center of the curve it gets creepy. I'll get someone a gift of something they mentioned not owning 10 months earlier, or eat dinner at there place once and know the layout of the kitchen for years afterward. It can bother them.
And I still can't remember names sometimes.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 9:12am

Hm.  I have an excellent long term memory and a shit short term memory.  I keep post-its with me at all times.

R.Moon's picture
R.Moon from The City of Champions is reading The Last Thing He Wanted by Joan Didion; Story Structure Architect by Victoria Lynn Schimdt PH.D; Creating Characters by the editors of Writer's Digest December 6, 2011 - 10:23am

My ex had a great memory. It was fun at first, but then it just became a pain in the ass. I was still catching shit for stuff I had done a year previous. She was silly like that, though.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 6, 2011 - 10:37am

I hate when I forget to check in with my parole officer.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 10:44am

So does your parole officer. 

.'s picture
. December 6, 2011 - 10:49am

There are three side effects of acid: enhanced long-term memory, decreased short-term memory, and I forget the third.  

           -Timothy Leary 

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 6, 2011 - 10:53am

Check it out! My paiting! It isn't me, but, fuck, I'm proud of it :D

.'s picture
. December 6, 2011 - 10:56am

Clicks "Like" button. Oops, thats offensive button.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 11:04am

@jacks - who told you about the acid???  Was it me?  Did I forget again? 

.'s picture
. December 6, 2011 - 11:11am

@Doll Yeah you told me about it. You sold me a strip of computer paper again. I want my money back!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 11:16am

*paranoid*  I have to stop telling people things. 

Or keep better records. 

.'s picture
. December 6, 2011 - 11:22am

My hamster hasn't seen any cid around the blue grass since last year. Well theres always mushies. I'll shut up now.

T-Mobile is completely raping me on contracts. I can't wait until I can afford an Iphone and get rid of these bastards.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated December 6, 2011 - 11:28am

@alien & avery - No I like it when he misses, less work for me. Sucka!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 6, 2011 - 1:03pm

"You will always get what you want through your charm and personality"

Oh, Fortune Cookie, how do you know me so well? 

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. December 6, 2011 - 2:03pm

That is a cool painting. 

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 6, 2011 - 3:45pm

thankyew ^_8

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin December 6, 2011 - 3:51pm

I agree with alien, nice work there.

Raelyn's picture
Raelyn from California is reading The Liars' Club December 7, 2011 - 3:04am

There's an alien spaceship camping out by Mercury!!!!

 

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 8:56am

wow! what's the alien's names? let's call one...steve!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 7, 2011 - 9:16am

I'd like to call him "Patches"

.'s picture
. December 7, 2011 - 1:56pm

Just joined ATA college. Going to be a radiologist. Woo hoo!

Raelyn's picture
Raelyn from California is reading The Liars' Club December 7, 2011 - 2:03pm

Dakota -- *high five* Yay for college!

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 3:41pm

two more years till college! yay!

Raelyn's picture
Raelyn from California is reading The Liars' Club December 7, 2011 - 3:53pm

I talked with my councelor about majoring in linguistics and minoring in cosmology. She told me I can't have an arts major with a science minor: they both have to be either arts or science. Does anyone know if this is true? 

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 4:10pm

Well, from my extensive knowledge of universities, I think that you choose linguistics and, say, english as a double-liberal arts major, and take several cosmology electives.

Raelyn's picture
Raelyn from California is reading The Liars' Club December 7, 2011 - 4:21pm

I don't want a double major. I want to major in linguistics and minor in cosmology! *stops foot on ground and crosses arms*

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 4:23pm

Hopefully then you can negotiate that. Or go to grad school.

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 4:26pm

Question: is it too much to have my cross-dressing Hungarian mute girl attempt to cut out her vagina, since she wants to be a boy?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 7, 2011 - 4:28pm

How does one cut out.....?  I don't know that the logic there follows exactly.

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 4:32pm

Mutilate, stab, or in an other way harm. Better?

.'s picture
. December 7, 2011 - 4:39pm

I made a salad with spinach leaves and organic hearts of romaine. I added mandarin oranges and pineapple slices to it with black olives, honey, lemon juice, salt and pepper.  I made my own red wine vinaigrette dressing to go with it too. I regret not adding almonds.

Paradise Cafe got nothin on me boy!

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 7, 2011 - 4:41pm

Post unrelated. Please answer my question

.'s picture
. December 7, 2011 - 4:44pm

Drill her nostrils open with a power drill and duck tape her mouth. Fuck her nose until she suffocates on the jizz. 

Oh I'm sorry, what was your question?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 7, 2011 - 6:58pm

Hmmm.  I don't know Typewriter.  I don't think taking away is the right answer in that situation. 

Nighty Nite's picture
Nighty Nite from NJ is reading Grimscribe: His Lives and Works December 8, 2011 - 2:16am

Easily solved: She finds a man, castrates him, sews it on.

Bam. Next.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 8, 2011 - 5:59am

I think that solution works well.

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 8, 2011 - 11:20am

This is a fourteen year old girl. She pretends to be a boy at school, and  does this because she wants to be a boy. In a moment of self hatred, she does it.

 

Gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp gasp why am I  bleeding why this happening and I feel my feet drowning through my lungs and the razors along my neck and teeth and DEMONS AND KURVAS red so much red and shock an tearing and tearing a great many tears and Mistress among people looking pissed off and why is this happening and cups of blood and why and what is this happening to me? My name is Cat. I am the quiet boy from god-knows-where. I don't speak English, and I am a faggot. But...Katerina is not a boy! Katerina is most definitely a girl. A boy doesn't bleed. Why does a girl? Last, last seven-day, Katerina drew a blade to her body, for no-one knew her as herself. She took the blade. She had the want, the sweet, sweet want, to become a boy. To unhold herself from her nightmares, her dual-ness and to become a boy. A boy- when she could hit boys, cut her hair short, and hear Sid's voice in her ears, without starings at. And, and cleanliness. Washing away, bringing the knife to her hips, Pressuring harder, caress. Twist, draw, and- pretty. Rushing, rushing red. Extinguishment. The lips of God upon mine, and rushings. Flowing, drowning out of me. Flesh rending, attempt to rip it AWAY! To make, make everything GO! Bleed, red-rich, and candy. Pierce and touch. Dig in and stab. Change, of a slit to crucifix. Pushing, pushing. From my body- noise. And press and press and loading over and light blindfolding me and drop my hand.

 

 

there. It's sorta an exploration of masturbation and mutliation :D any good?

Typewriter Demigod's picture
Typewriter Demigod from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by Joyce December 10, 2011 - 5:59pm

For weird experiences, try this: taking your ex to meet your current, your current and her friend stealing stuff, and making out with your ex...

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters December 10, 2011 - 8:19pm

I've decided that  I want some sort of "like" button on my coffin when i die.  Then we'll see what's up.