Nick Wilczynski
from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. MartinMay 17, 2013 - 9:05pm
Guys I haven't checked the leaderboard in months until today, and I know that while working at Working America over the last year I've reviewed maybe five stories tops, and three of those in the last month. But I'm still number 4 on the leaderboard for points in the workshop. Don't you think you're better than that?
Profunda Saint-...
from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy SeriesMay 17, 2013 - 9:34pm
I'm not better than anyone.
Nick Wilczynski
from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. MartinMay 17, 2013 - 9:54pm
I'm not saying that a person with more points on the leaderboard is better than me, I'm just saying as a baseline points accrual-per-year... I'd like to think that you were able to accomplish more.
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 17, 2013 - 11:54pm
I used to be a gravedigger. At the cemetery I worked at, they built a new section a mile and a half away from the entrance. New crypt walls. People were spending money to have their rotting or rotted loved ones moved from one section of the cemetery to another.
One day, we moved a guy who'd been in the crypt wall for two years. He was a motorcycle Nazi from Ohio. His family showed up in worn leather regalia, complete with SS symbolism and 1% patches. They wanted to bury his vest with him; have it put in the casket with him. After two years. So they gave the vest to the funeral director. We pulled the body from the wall crypt, which was as far from the new crypts as you could get, and we brought it into the garage where all the fresh caskets and not-so-fresh bodies were delivered for embalming and showcasing. This one guy, he was black, and he wanted to put the vest in. Just to be spiteful. A secret fuck you.
Caskets are air tight, so the lid had to be opened with a special tool that decompressed the nastiness inside. It was horrid, that smell. And the guy, the Nazi biker, looked as bad as he smelled. I mean, he looked good for having been dead for two years, but he was a pallid green-grey. His cheeks and around his eyes were fat and bloated from the Florida heat. It was a wonder that he hadn't yet exploded. (Most bodies in crypts explode, at least in Florida, because the crypts are like convection ovens. Drainage holes are built into the crypts so that they don't overflow with sticky brownish black goo, which they sometimes did when someone forgot to cut out the drainage plug when prepping a crypt, and we called those, "leaky bodies".)
So this black guy, he throws the vest over the biker. I mean, he literally throws it into the casket, and he mutters, "Piece of shit," while covering his nose and mouth with a silver satin hanky and coughing into it. Then they close the casket and transport it to the new crypts, where we have to re-inter it. Where this family of Ohio Nazi bikers is waiting, and where I'm waiting, contemplating the strangeness of such hateful people being so sorrowful.
We bring the casket up on a lift, about fifteen feet from the ground, and slide it home. Below us, I see the family. The women are weeping. The men are solemn and have their heads down, their ponytails slightly blowing in the sticky hot breeze. And the black guy, he's shaking their hands and giving his condolences.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 18, 2013 - 6:50am
Odd.
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 18, 2013 - 7:37pm
Indeed.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMay 18, 2013 - 8:54pm
My block is full of cars, as if there were a party. But if it's a party, it's the most quiet party ever. Maybe it's a joyless silent film review. Maybe it's a seance. I'm thinking about knocking on some doors just in case it was a mass suicide or something.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMay 18, 2013 - 9:33pm
I hear them now. It's just some people.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 18, 2013 - 10:55pm
I went to a party with some people I worked with. It seemed normal at first and the hostess says hey come see this. She leads me to her finished basement and it seems normal until I see that it has a carving of a stylized skull about 2 feet in it with burn marks. She looks me dead in the eye and says, "This was here when I moved in. We keep trying to think of something normal that the last people could have done with this, any ideas?"
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 18, 2013 - 11:24pm
That's neat.
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 18, 2013 - 11:26pm
I once went to a party and forgot my girlfriend's name. Then realized I couldn't remember my name either. Then I heard the host slapping the hostess in the bedroom.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 19, 2013 - 8:41pm
I was sharing stories that really happened to me, I was hoping you were doing the same. Dang it.
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 20, 2013 - 10:28pm
I was doing the same.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMay 21, 2013 - 8:07am
Mine was "creative non-fiction."
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 21, 2013 - 10:56am
Mine was "blah non-fiction".
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 21, 2013 - 1:17pm
These things happen.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 21, 2013 - 1:17pm
These things happen.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMay 21, 2013 - 5:36pm
Nothing blah about that little story, G.X. (The one about the bikers, that is.) The prose was "workmanlike," but when the substance is strong, there is really no need to embellish. (Not trying to instruct here; just spilling a little opinion.)
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 21, 2013 - 8:11pm
That little story was the first thing that popped into my head when I first read what this thread was. So I typed it and left it at that.
What I typed about the party was the first memory that popped in my head about a party I attended. It might not include spooky B movie effects, but hey, these things happen.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 21, 2013 - 8:16pm
In my defense, it isn't my fault my real life seems to include b movie effects and some author intervention.
G. X. Bradbury
from Corvallis, OR is reading The Modern School Movement: Anarchism and Education in the United States, by Paul ArvichMay 21, 2013 - 10:43pm
No. That isn't your fault. You're absolutely right.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 22, 2013 - 7:33am
This conversation bores me.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedMay 22, 2013 - 10:26am
@Avery - Good, my plan to bore you to death is going well.
@G.X. - I'll admit I don't have to bring up my real life though, so you can reasonably blame me for talking about it.
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerJune 20, 2013 - 11:25am
I am resurrecting this thread simply to have a forum for whatever random shit falls out of my head.
Here's a picture of my dog. His name's Trevor.
Profunda Saint-...
from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy SeriesJune 20, 2013 - 3:30pm
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerJune 21, 2013 - 5:18am
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"
Yes! Aw. He deserves that. Also, how ya been, Meat!
Edit: Also, here's another picture. Enjoy. You're welcome.
Also, muh lady is wanting to go on vacation but, sadly I don't know very many couples to go with. Then I realized if that's one of my only problems in life, I'm doing alright.
Profunda Saint-...
from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy SeriesJune 22, 2013 - 8:54am
That is a sweet puppy. As for Meaty, I'm doing ok, my city is underwater at the moment, but apparently I live high enough up to still have electricity, water, internet and a dry basement. Can't really complain, right?
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerJune 22, 2013 - 9:38am
I know. I have more, but alas, I don't want to spam, Trevor......yet.
I digress, I heard about your water issues in Alberta. I feel like I should send you my kayak, or at the very least a beach towel. I suppose it could be worse. You could run out of bacon, then it would really suck. Truly a nightmare.
Profunda Saint-...
from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy SeriesJune 22, 2013 - 11:12am
Please spam the puppy as much as you can. I LOVE PUPPIES! I might go tooling around later and go see the water for myself, haven't left the house in a few days, as my paint stained sweat pants might suggest, so maybe... real clothes today? and... FRESH AIR? It's sunny out, so I might as well take advantage. :D
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerJune 22, 2013 - 11:19am
MORE TREVOR!
Also get the hell out of the house! Get on your best flip-flops and clean-ish sweat pants and then go canoe down to the store and get a beer! You've earned it.
Profunda Saint-...
from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy SeriesJune 22, 2013 - 1:39pm
I went out. Took the girl to the playground. Started raining heavy again within 5 minutes. SORRY CALGARY, I WON'T GO OUTSIDE ANYMORE. At least I can feel like a bigshot making it rain.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedJune 23, 2013 - 6:05am
My dog.
Profunda Saint-...
from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy SeriesJune 23, 2013 - 4:28pm
Heeeheeeeheee! What a cutie.
Dean Blake
from Australia is reading generationend.comJune 23, 2013 - 4:33pm
I LOVE LAMP.
Renfield
from Hell is reading 20th Century GhostsAugust 17, 2013 - 5:29pm
ViggyNash
from New Jersey is reading various wordsAugust 19, 2013 - 1:17pm
I was going to post something about paintball and anime but then live action Captain Planet happened.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtrySeptember 3, 2013 - 11:09am
How did Captain Planet kill Battle for the Last Post?
Renfield
from Hell is reading 20th Century GhostsSeptember 5, 2013 - 6:21pm
Captain Planet kills everything.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedSeptember 6, 2013 - 3:45am
It didn't kill it. We just had to stop and think, "Am I really this petty?" I've decided "Yes, yes I am."
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersSeptember 6, 2013 - 7:32am
When we had Monica Drake on the show I made a Captain Planet reference. And she said she didn't know what that was. Renee and I went on a lengthy tangent about it, explaining the show. Eventually she was like, "...yeah, I think I do remember that..."
I think she just wanted us to shut up.
Renfield
from Hell is reading 20th Century GhostsSeptember 8, 2013 - 2:09pm
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedSeptember 9, 2013 - 1:41am
Good times.
voodoo_em
from England is reading All the books by Ira LevinSeptember 16, 2013 - 1:52am
^^THIS is what has been appearing around Northampton, UK creeping people out.
Guys I haven't checked the leaderboard in months until today, and I know that while working at Working America over the last year I've reviewed maybe five stories tops, and three of those in the last month. But I'm still number 4 on the leaderboard for points in the workshop. Don't you think you're better than that?
I'm not better than anyone.
I'm not saying that a person with more points on the leaderboard is better than me, I'm just saying as a baseline points accrual-per-year... I'd like to think that you were able to accomplish more.
I used to be a gravedigger. At the cemetery I worked at, they built a new section a mile and a half away from the entrance. New crypt walls. People were spending money to have their rotting or rotted loved ones moved from one section of the cemetery to another.
One day, we moved a guy who'd been in the crypt wall for two years. He was a motorcycle Nazi from Ohio. His family showed up in worn leather regalia, complete with SS symbolism and 1% patches. They wanted to bury his vest with him; have it put in the casket with him. After two years. So they gave the vest to the funeral director. We pulled the body from the wall crypt, which was as far from the new crypts as you could get, and we brought it into the garage where all the fresh caskets and not-so-fresh bodies were delivered for embalming and showcasing. This one guy, he was black, and he wanted to put the vest in. Just to be spiteful. A secret fuck you.
Caskets are air tight, so the lid had to be opened with a special tool that decompressed the nastiness inside. It was horrid, that smell. And the guy, the Nazi biker, looked as bad as he smelled. I mean, he looked good for having been dead for two years, but he was a pallid green-grey. His cheeks and around his eyes were fat and bloated from the Florida heat. It was a wonder that he hadn't yet exploded. (Most bodies in crypts explode, at least in Florida, because the crypts are like convection ovens. Drainage holes are built into the crypts so that they don't overflow with sticky brownish black goo, which they sometimes did when someone forgot to cut out the drainage plug when prepping a crypt, and we called those, "leaky bodies".)
So this black guy, he throws the vest over the biker. I mean, he literally throws it into the casket, and he mutters, "Piece of shit," while covering his nose and mouth with a silver satin hanky and coughing into it. Then they close the casket and transport it to the new crypts, where we have to re-inter it. Where this family of Ohio Nazi bikers is waiting, and where I'm waiting, contemplating the strangeness of such hateful people being so sorrowful.
We bring the casket up on a lift, about fifteen feet from the ground, and slide it home. Below us, I see the family. The women are weeping. The men are solemn and have their heads down, their ponytails slightly blowing in the sticky hot breeze. And the black guy, he's shaking their hands and giving his condolences.
Odd.
Indeed.
My block is full of cars, as if there were a party. But if it's a party, it's the most quiet party ever. Maybe it's a joyless silent film review. Maybe it's a seance. I'm thinking about knocking on some doors just in case it was a mass suicide or something.
I hear them now. It's just some people.
I went to a party with some people I worked with. It seemed normal at first and the hostess says hey come see this. She leads me to her finished basement and it seems normal until I see that it has a carving of a stylized skull about 2 feet in it with burn marks. She looks me dead in the eye and says, "This was here when I moved in. We keep trying to think of something normal that the last people could have done with this, any ideas?"
That's neat.
I once went to a party and forgot my girlfriend's name. Then realized I couldn't remember my name either. Then I heard the host slapping the hostess in the bedroom.
I was sharing stories that really happened to me, I was hoping you were doing the same. Dang it.
I was doing the same.
Mine was "creative non-fiction."
Mine was "blah non-fiction".
These things happen.
These things happen.
Nothing blah about that little story, G.X. (The one about the bikers, that is.) The prose was "workmanlike," but when the substance is strong, there is really no need to embellish. (Not trying to instruct here; just spilling a little opinion.)
That little story was the first thing that popped into my head when I first read what this thread was. So I typed it and left it at that.
What I typed about the party was the first memory that popped in my head about a party I attended. It might not include spooky B movie effects, but hey, these things happen.
In my defense, it isn't my fault my real life seems to include b movie effects and some author intervention.
No. That isn't your fault. You're absolutely right.
This conversation bores me.
@Avery - Good, my plan to bore you to death is going well.
@G.X. - I'll admit I don't have to bring up my real life though, so you can reasonably blame me for talking about it.
I am resurrecting this thread simply to have a forum for whatever random shit falls out of my head.
Here's a picture of my dog. His name's Trevor.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Yes! Aw. He deserves that. Also, how ya been, Meat!
Edit: Also, here's another picture. Enjoy. You're welcome.
Also, muh lady is wanting to go on vacation but, sadly I don't know very many couples to go with. Then I realized if that's one of my only problems in life, I'm doing alright.
That is a sweet puppy. As for Meaty, I'm doing ok, my city is underwater at the moment, but apparently I live high enough up to still have electricity, water, internet and a dry basement. Can't really complain, right?
I know. I have more, but alas, I don't want to spam, Trevor......yet.
I digress, I heard about your water issues in Alberta. I feel like I should send you my kayak, or at the very least a beach towel. I suppose it could be worse. You could run out of bacon, then it would really suck. Truly a nightmare.
Please spam the puppy as much as you can. I LOVE PUPPIES! I might go tooling around later and go see the water for myself, haven't left the house in a few days, as my paint stained sweat pants might suggest, so maybe... real clothes today? and... FRESH AIR? It's sunny out, so I might as well take advantage. :D
MORE TREVOR!
Also get the hell out of the house! Get on your best flip-flops and clean-ish sweat pants and then go canoe down to the store and get a beer! You've earned it.
I went out. Took the girl to the playground. Started raining heavy again within 5 minutes. SORRY CALGARY, I WON'T GO OUTSIDE ANYMORE. At least I can feel like a bigshot making it rain.
My dog.
Heeeheeeeheee! What a cutie.
I LOVE LAMP.
I was going to post something about paintball and anime but then live action Captain Planet happened.
How did Captain Planet kill Battle for the Last Post?
Captain Planet kills everything.
It didn't kill it. We just had to stop and think, "Am I really this petty?" I've decided "Yes, yes I am."
When we had Monica Drake on the show I made a Captain Planet reference. And she said she didn't know what that was. Renee and I went on a lengthy tangent about it, explaining the show. Eventually she was like, "...yeah, I think I do remember that..."
I think she just wanted us to shut up.
Good times.
^^THIS is what has been appearing around Northampton, UK creeping people out.
http://metro.co.uk/2013/09/15/not-funny-creepy-clown-lingers-on-streets-of-northampton-in-middle-of-the-night-4012455/
"Want a balloon..."
For the win
^ losing
Ouch!
Burn!
I have to go to the grocery store this afternoon and I'm totally excited about it.
I HAVE A LIST!
Prove it!
Prove that you're not a dog with Asperger's Syndrome, Dwayne.