Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:29pm

It's a trap.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 3:31pm

The right smelly foot.

Greetings, Litreactors.

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 17, 2012 - 8:27pm

@ Bill Tucker: get the hell out now. These opinionated crazy bastards have held me captive for several weeks. Time I'll never get back.

Run, Bill run...

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 9:27pm

<--- pwns nkwilczy's ass

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 17, 2012 - 9:31pm

I mean, it's a nifty story, sure, but I still think my characters and atmosphere were stronger.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 9:43pm

<--- is actually fairly impressed with nkwilczy's story.

That one should clean up pretty nice, man.  I liked it.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 17, 2012 - 9:52pm

You bring out the best in me Utah.

I also enjoyed your story tremendously, I'll have to think deeply about my reccomendations.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 10:05pm

Same here.  I'll stew on it tonight and put together the LBL in the morning.

Until then, chew on this:

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 18, 2012 - 12:12am

Utah I am instantly transported back to high school listening to RATM drinking beer and doing general stupid shit. Oh the good ole days.

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade February 18, 2012 - 8:21am

(socialist?)

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 18, 2012 - 9:22am

Well, RATM might = socialist.

But young Utah just = angry youth with a gun in his lap.

Only, you know, not so angry, really.  And sans gun.

But I'm w/Diaz:  takes me back.  Every time I hear their version of "Pistol Grip Pump" I want to light a cigarette and go pick a fight.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 18, 2012 - 9:27am

I want to light a cigarette and go pick a fight."

 

Love it. Do it. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 18, 2012 - 9:30am

I'll have to wait til after work.  Everybody here right now are Spanish traslators/vocal talent and audio/visual guys.  If I scare them off I'll be stuck on this project for another 6 months. 

So I have to wait til after work.

Bill Tucker's picture
Bill Tucker from Austin, Texas is reading Grimm's Fairy Tales (1st Edition) February 19, 2012 - 9:35pm

@Boone It's amazing. Every time I go to do some actual work at my nine to five, I find myself drawn to this fine site and the content therein. The virus has infected me. And now to post in the sexy thread. Viva la Sunday night whiskey!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 20, 2012 - 6:47am

So the scratchy sound above my home office turned out to be a family of rats.  I was just excited to have company.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 20, 2012 - 7:48am

And just so you all know, I am listening to Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 8:28am

When I was 19, a couple raccoons moved into the attic above my bedroom.  And at night they had some sort of organized fight club directly over my bed.  Each night I would wait for the ceiling to give way and a pack of feral raccoons to fall on my head.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 20, 2012 - 9:02am

The first rule of raccoon fight club is...

 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 20, 2012 - 9:29am

Very nice Dave. Avery will now have this mental image everytime she thinks of raccoons fighting above her bed.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 9:32am

Well, there aren't raccoons in my attic now.  This was ten years ago.  Those raccoons are probably dead.  Also I live in a whole other place.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 20, 2012 - 9:34am

But I know you think about them and wonder which ones survived.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 9:41am

Probably the fat one.  Once, at night , I looked out the kitchen window and there was a giant raccoon looking back at me.  He was up on one of the porch posts and he was ENORMOUS.  Like...I don't know.  I can't think of a good analogy.  Let's say he was beach ball sized.

And I sort of freaked out and I wanted to scare it off, but I wasn't sure what to do (at this point I am going to reveal that I was about 16 at his time - so old enough to be smarter) and finally I got in the cookie jar and got a cookie out.  I opened the window and there it at the raccoon.  And that motherfucker caught it.  I shut the window.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 20, 2012 - 9:44am

I'm sure he was "That's what I thought little girl. Pay homage."

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 20, 2012 - 9:51am

Old racoons never die, they just get stuck in trash cans.

I've seen a few racoons, but their place in the ecosystem is mostly inhabited by possums in this state. Now that is an ugly rodent, makes a racoon look dignified.

Dave's picture
Dave from a city near you is reading constantly February 20, 2012 - 9:51am

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 10:12am

Yeah.  BAscially I gave him a serious taste for 'people food'.  It was poorly thought out.

.'s picture
. February 20, 2012 - 10:43am

Did I mention Drive was an amazing movie/

I'm done with periods, I'm just going to do the Kerouac thing/ 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 20, 2012 - 10:50am

"I notice that there's a long gap in your job history and it says here that for 22 years you went Kerouac on everyone's ass?"

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff February 20, 2012 - 1:49pm

Possums. I love possums. Maybe just because I never seen one live. But I frigging love possums. Must be from that Ice Age movie, all this love. Fact is, I love possums, it seems.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 20, 2012 - 1:59pm

If you love them, flaminia, it is because you've never seen one.

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff February 20, 2012 - 2:05pm

Are they so ugly? Maybe that's why I love them. It could be.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 20, 2012 - 2:12pm

It's not an ugliness like an ugly dog kind of ugly.

They're ugly like a mean rat.  Big mean teeth.  One wandered into my friend's house one day and looked at us and hissed and showed us its big mean teeth.  We burned down his house just to get rid of it. 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 20, 2012 - 2:14pm

They are hideous, I understand "so ugly it's cute" but I mean, overgrown rats with Dr. Emmet Brown hair that frequently carry crazy diseases and smell ungodly, ehhh, some things are ugly for a reason.

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 2:17pm

They have scary human faces on rat bodies.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 20, 2012 - 2:19pm

Normally when I run over a creature I feel a bit bad.  When I run over a possum I just try to get its family as well.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 20, 2012 - 2:22pm

Wouldn't want to leave orphans.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 20, 2012 - 2:25pm

Why do we have a marsupial on this continent anyway?  And why is it the ugliest marsupial?  I mean, I know koala and wombats aren't the friendliest things in the world, but they can hang out in my front yard all they want.  For the ladies.  If the ladies see a possum in your front yard they don't get out of the car.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 2:25pm

Hitler got reincarnated as a possum.

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff February 20, 2012 - 2:37pm

I'm dying inside.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 20, 2012 - 2:40pm

Possums eat wicked children.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 2:42pm

Possums eat good children.

 

Possums eat children.

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff February 20, 2012 - 2:43pm

I hate 20th century fox for making me love an unworthy creature. I will never, ever, sing along their jingle when a movie starts anymore. Never.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 20, 2012 - 2:44pm

Eat possums, they're awesome?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 2:46pm

There is a possum jingle?

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 20, 2012 - 2:51pm

Possum pot pie. Great with sour cream and onions.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 20, 2012 - 2:57pm

okay - wait..that little thing in Ice Age is not a possum.  It's like...a prehistoric squirrel or something.  You mean that thing that is always chasing an acorn, right/  Squirrel.

Possums only eat children.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 20, 2012 - 3:21pm

Ice Age animal is a Sloth or the one that goes after the nut is indeed a squirrel

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff February 20, 2012 - 3:55pm

I mean Ice Age the Meltdown Possums

They're hilarious

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 20, 2012 - 4:01pm

flaminia_klla= win ---though I guess we can forgive you Utah, you are from Texas, you guys arent happy unless you're killing something;. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 20, 2012 - 4:04pm

That's the beauty of Texas.  When everybody is happier killing stuff than not, everybody tends to be a lot more polite.