I write garbage.
Solace: "One man's trash is Oscar the Grouch's home."
Well, you have impeccable taste in movies and books, so you're ahead of 99% of the riff-raff in here. Welcome to the Monkey House!
Hola.
I was honestly hoping for more depth. But ya know. You get what you pay for and all that.
Hey and welcome. You lack a beard, but you have a gun, so I think that evens out pretty nicely.
Looking forward to reading some of your gritty and terrible writing.
No intro from Chris? I AM NOT WELCOMING!
I'm big time. No memes until I get my intro!
Sorry for the delay. On days when I don't have work I'm most likely drunk and therefore only check Lit once, maybe twice in a 24 hour span.
First I would like to thank you for opening up as you did. Being the new person in a group of strong personalities is tough and to bare your soul as you have takes a level of bravery we don't often acknowledge. Even though you can't see it a am very literally raising my glass to you right now (This also means I am drinking before 9am, happy birthday 'merica").
You have come at an exciting time at this site. The fist open writing activity "Scare Us" is underway. People are starting e-zines and podcast, there really is more to get involved with everyday. My suggestion, on your first day here kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch, life gets easier after that.
Once you have settled in you will get a picture from Matt. This picture will brighten your day while warming the cockles (sp?) of your heart. Little known fact, if you do enough peyote before looking at Matt's picture you will instantly discover your spirit animal, so you have that going for you.
Then Avery will be by with the official Litreactor welcome. She is filling in on this job and hates doing it so make sure to say thank you. I am also required to tell you that by Avery giving you your welcome you are required to side with her in all future debates, welcome to the hive mind.
Last but certainly not least, dick pics from Howie. You heard me, all the glorious pictures of Howie's johnson you can handle. You want a profile shot of it, done. You want an action shot, just ask. You want to know if he'll put a little hat on it, you bet your ass he will. You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Christopher McKinley Jefferson Kennedy Jackson Clinton Davis Associate Prof. of Decoupage at Howard University.
Welcome. You're approved. Enjoy your spirit animal.
meh
Welcome.
I appreciate your appreciation.
Now that you have received all your official greetings, you have become (if you were not already) the greatest writer in the world. Congratulations!
*throws confetti*
Nunchucks!
I'm appreciative that you want to avoid a circle of appreciation. Wait, did I just create one? Oppsie.
Hi little friend
nunchuck ping-pong > anything
What they don't tell you is that it's actually easier with the nunchucks.
^ lol