Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 3, 2012 - 4:07pm

I write garbage. 

Solace: "One man's trash is Oscar the Grouch's home."

JEFFREY GRANT BARR's picture
JEFFREY GRANT BARR from Central OR is reading Nothing but fucking Shakespeare, for the rest of my life July 3, 2012 - 5:14pm

Well, you have impeccable taste in movies and books, so you're ahead of 99% of the riff-raff in here. Welcome to the Monkey House!

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 3, 2012 - 5:45pm

And you have impeccable taste in beards. I never could tell if I was mentally ahead of people, or mentally behind. My aunt always told me I was 'special' with no clarification toward the negative or positive. Then came Jeffrey!

Thank you for sorting that out for me, and thank you for the welcome.

:] <<< Have this emoticon. 

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig July 3, 2012 - 5:45pm

Hola.

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 3, 2012 - 5:46pm

Hola, chica~

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig July 3, 2012 - 6:00pm

I was honestly hoping for more depth. But ya know. You get what you pay for and all that.

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 3, 2012 - 6:16pm

And you paid for nothing, so you get nothing, right?

The depth is in the dissection. 

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from El Cerrito, CA (originally), now Fort Worth, TX is reading The San Veneficio Canon - Michael Cisco, The Croning - Laird Barron, By the Time We Leave Here, We'll Be Friends - J. David Osborne July 3, 2012 - 6:53pm

Hey and welcome. You lack a beard, but you have a gun, so I think that evens out pretty nicely.

Looking forward to reading some of your gritty and terrible writing.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 4, 2012 - 5:16am

No intro from Chris? I AM NOT WELCOMING! 

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 4, 2012 - 6:18am

Michael, it's not a picture of me. It's a picture of Robert de Niro playing Travis Bickle--a depressed, Byronic ex-Marine packing a gun. He says, "You talkin' to me?"

And, Matt, I didn't take you for a follower! I want my meme!

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 4, 2012 - 6:23am

I'm big time. No memes until I get my intro! 

Chris Davis's picture
Chris Davis from Indiana is reading A Feast of Snakes by Harry Crews July 4, 2012 - 6:29am

Sorry for the delay. On days when I don't have work I'm most likely drunk and therefore only check Lit once, maybe twice in a 24 hour span.

First I would like to thank you for opening up as you did.  Being the new person in a group of strong personalities is tough and to bare your soul as you have takes a level of bravery we don't often acknowledge. Even though you can't see it a am very literally raising my glass to you right now (This also means I am drinking before 9am, happy birthday 'merica"). 

You have come at an exciting time at this site. The fist open writing activity "Scare Us" is underway. People are starting e-zines and podcast, there really is more to get involved with everyday.  My suggestion, on your first day here kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch, life gets easier after that.

Once you have settled in you will get a picture from Matt. This picture will brighten your day while warming the cockles (sp?) of your heart.  Little known fact, if you do enough peyote before looking at Matt's picture you will instantly discover your spirit animal, so you have that going for you.

Then Avery will be by with the official Litreactor welcome.  She is filling in on this job and hates doing it so make sure to say thank you. I am also required to tell you that by Avery giving you your welcome you are required to side with her in all future debates, welcome to the hive mind.

Last but certainly not least, dick pics from Howie.  You heard me, all the glorious pictures of Howie's johnson you can handle. You want a profile shot of it, done. You want an action shot, just ask. You want to know if he'll put a little hat on it, you bet your ass he will. You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Christopher McKinley Jefferson Kennedy Jackson Clinton Davis Associate Prof. of Decoupage at Howard University.

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 4, 2012 - 6:30am

 

 

Welcome. You're approved. Enjoy your spirit animal. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 4, 2012 - 6:37am

meh

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 4, 2012 - 7:00am

Thank you, Avery and Matt. 

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated July 4, 2012 - 9:03am

Welcome.

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 4, 2012 - 4:54pm

Thanks, Dwayne! 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters July 4, 2012 - 6:38pm

I appreciate your appreciation.

 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry July 5, 2012 - 7:31am

Now that you have received all your official greetings, you have become (if you were not already) the greatest writer in the world.  Congratulations! 

*throws confetti*

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner July 5, 2012 - 7:32am

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 5, 2012 - 8:09am

Avery, I appreciate that you appreciate my appreciation. Don't appreciate that, though, because this whole 'appreciation' thing could turn into a really messy--but really appreciative--circle of appreciation. And we all know how those go. All that crying, hugging, and rubbing snot on each other just doesn't do it for me. 

Utah, I think you just imbibed me with the courage I was looking for. 

 

 

Matt.

 

underpurplemoon's picture
underpurplemoon from PDX July 5, 2012 - 9:05am

Nunchucks!

Michael J. Riser's picture
Michael J. Riser from El Cerrito, CA (originally), now Fort Worth, TX is reading The San Veneficio Canon - Michael Cisco, The Croning - Laird Barron, By the Time We Leave Here, We'll Be Friends - J. David Osborne July 5, 2012 - 9:13am

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated July 5, 2012 - 9:18am

I'm appreciative that you want to avoid a circle of appreciation. Wait, did I just create one? Oppsie.

Stacy Kear's picture
Stacy Kear from Bucyrus, Ohio lives in New Jersey is reading The Art of War July 5, 2012 - 8:00pm

Hi little friend

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 7, 2012 - 7:36am

 

Dwayne: I refuse to reciprocate.

Stacy: Thanks for the welcome. 

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like July 7, 2012 - 9:06am

nunchuck ping-pong > anything

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated July 8, 2012 - 6:18am

What they don't tell you is that it's actually easier with the nunchucks. 

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like July 7, 2012 - 6:40pm

^ lol

Tony Koval's picture
Tony Koval from Jesustown, Bible Belt, Texas, USA is reading more and more and more July 8, 2012 - 11:36am

Uh...

Thanks.

I think. 

: /