Just wondering what the general consensus is about adverbs? Do you guys use words like normally, simply, occasionally, etc. in your writing, or do you try to stay away from them? The reason I ask is I am working on a short story and these are two of my sentences:
Staring day in and day out at the yellow, high-noon sun turned pink and I couldn’t force myself to go blind. Not because of the sun, I simply couldn’t make myself stare that long.
(It reads weird, I know, just started on my first revision, so..) Thoughts, ideas, advice? All is welcome!
I don't have anything against adverbs at all and use them quite frequently myself!
Just some pointers on those sentences:
- first sentence implies that the protagonist doesn't want to go blind from the sun, but second sentence suggests otherwise.
- staring day in and day out suggests that the protagonist is staring at the sun for days on end (even after the day has "gone"). Is he/she, or is it only for a few minutes?
Sounds interesting!
After the first draft, my adverbs are sent to live on the adverb farm in Bermuda. Adverbs are crutches for weak verbs, in my opinion.
Words like "simply," "just," and "really" live on the farm as well.
verily.
use adverbs sparingly. Even better, use them unusually. "Boys, I'm so lusciously sorry." (from South Park)
I try to stay away from them but that is just popular belief. Of course I wouldn't overdue it though.
Adverbs? Shit, I don't even like adjectives. Nouns piss me off, too. And here's a fuck you to verbs. Parts of speech are all just a bunch of assholes. God, I hate punctuation.
I like adverbs.
We're often told not to use adverbs because they're lazy. They don't do a great job of showing. Same thing with adjectives, I guess. But to me, no tool in writing is a bad tool. Everything has a use when we're putting our stories on paper.
You can think of adverbs and adjectives as salt. Salt balances the flavors of sweet baked goods, and it brings out the flavor of other foods. I feel that 'telling' words are the same way--if used correctly, they can enhance the flavor of our story. But if you use too much, you can ruin the dish you're serving your reader.
I like Miss Kokamon's salt analogy.
When you read advice that says to stay away from adverbs it's basically saying don't use them as a crutch. It's all about the appropriate time and place.
For instance, it's usually better to describe how a character physically acts than to say that they do something 'gingerly.' When it comes to describing physical actions, 'gingerly' can be a full sentence. Hell, if you're detailed enough, it can be a whole paragraph. 'Softly,' on the other hand, will probably be more appropriate to use than to say, "not very loud" or something like that.
However, say this 'gingerly' action is something you've already described using physical detail, perhaps it's a continuous trait of the character. Then in later instances you may want to go ahead and refer to it using the adverb, because the reader knows precisely what you mean.
If you modify every verb with an adverb, you're going too far. If you purge every adverb from your writing on principle alone, you're going too far.
I would rework those sentences of yours, but adverbs don't have anything to do with it. 'Simply' is unnecessary in the sentence, but I think that's okay since it's in first person. In first person I think it's acceptable to forego word efficiency to establish a more conversational voice. In third person that's annoying. It would actually sound weird if you got rid of it in this instance unless you replaced it with 'just,' in which case 'just' would be used as an adverb anyway.
Another recommendation: just write your rough draft however feels natural without worrying about the details so much. Then workshop it. If you get too heavy with the adverbs someone will point it out.
SUDDENLY, this thread got really, really interesting but sincerely so. Oh, however, I do love a good adverb to spice things up, surely.
Adverbs are fine for me until I notice that the writer is using adverbs. Like razor said, if you modify every verb with an adverb, you're going too far. I notice this in young adult novels. It's as if the authors don't think their readers could understand actual description, so they use adverbs as a cop out.
I've noticed that rough drafts have adverbs (along with a lot of passivity -was,etc...). I believe that the more you know the characters, the setting, and the story the less you use adverbs and passivity. It's a strength of vision to know what is going on in your story. So, a good rule of thumb: - if you notice a ton of adverbs in your writing then consider the possibility that you may need to examine how well you know the character and where they are and what is going on.
@ Razor: Kinda backing up what you were saying. But I will add - as writers one of our main jobs is to be invisible to the reader. Adverbs work against that end (of course - in general - there is a time and place)
Josef, I do the same thing. When I write I tend to put commas where I would pause in the sentence. Usually, though, where I place them is grammatically incorrect. I love commas! They're like breath notes in music for stories.
I am on the death-to-adverbs train when I'm writing stories (although I use them lusciously in my everyday speech ;)). As with anything in writing, it's not a hard and fast rule that you shouldn't use adverbs, but unless it is responsible for the perfect sentence, generally they should be avoided in favor of stronger descriptions.
Words like simply, very, extremely, completely, etc almost always weaken prose. I think of them as 'undermining words'. Words a writer slips in when they're afraid the reader won't believe them unless the writer assures them they're being told the truth. Instead of stating facts -- I couldn’t make myself stare that long -- it seems like they are trying to convince them: I simply couldn't make myself stare that long. I find that a sentence is nearly always stronger when you drop those types of adverbs (and most adverbs in general). The reader is more inclined to trust you, and therefore the believability of your story. Try to avoid using adverbs for a story or two and see how much stronger your prose becomes.
I abnormally like them.
You're rather fustily normal.
Elmore Leonard said: I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances ''full of rape and adverbs.''
Ideally you would probably want to cut every word that either isn't important to the story, or a word the reader would tend to skip over. But that usually ends up as flavorless Lish-lit anyway.
I think Clevenger referenced the Dylan Thomas poem, that "Do Go Unto Your Grave" would have totally missed the point.
Don't use two consecutive adverbs or use them in two consecutive opportunities. But even with that advice it is possible to overdo it. I'm not in the no adverbs club, but the applications are more limited than this rule of thumb seems to imply.
If adverbs do their job right they should contribute to the cadence and flow of the sentence as a sentence, rather than really drawing any sort of picture of their own. As a tool for building individual slabs of wordplay they are alright, but as a storytelling tool they are completely worthless.
Asking a writer if he likes adverbs sounds, to me, like asking someone with a garden shed full of tools if he likes crowbars. And if he happens to hold an opinion on the nature of crowbars in general he may be very interesting but he's still going to end up just using the crowbar as a crowbar.
as an avid gardener, I'm amazed at how often I could have used a crowbar.
and persuading big fucking rocks out of the ground - and dibbling holes for leeks & celery - and uprooting big fucking weeds - and for defending my tomatoes against thieving raccoons - and...
I've tried previously to persuad the rocks to come out of the ground by dangling a piece of flank steak on a string above them and making kissing noises, saying 'here rocky rocky. Oh come on, rock. You don't wanna come out and play?' Crowbar sounds much more effective.
They'd only be hanging around if you grew livers and thigh muscles in your garden, which, you know, would be slightly creepy on its own.
ironically, they are absolutely useless against crows
You mean they aren't tiny taverns for crows to drink at? Well, I have been misled.
those bars are illegal - the gatherings always ended up with a murder
That right there is pure gold.