Inspired by Laurance, Panda and Dave....
So since I have this cool degree in Psychology that I am doing nothing with but I am working on my Master's towards clinical psych but I still gotta do the hours. 3000 exactly, oh that's gonna be fun. I will be chewing people's faces off by then and wearing them ala Hannibal Lector. Anyway, this thread is a place to relieve stress, get shit off your mind, get free advice from me or your other overreactors, I mean litreactors. You don't have to get super personal but if anything is going on in your personal life that you wanna rant about or if you want non-judgmental advice, feel free to add your two cents. The worst the person can do is tell you to fuck off. I would like this to be a serious place but I know we have a lot of kidders. Oh, you kidders! Please try not to spam the thread with WAR talk. Anyway, feel free to share.....
Here are the rules of Therapy Club:
1. We talk openly and freely in therapy club.
2. We talk openly and freely in therapy club.
3. We do not judge others even if they admit to masturbating with a leather duck on their head while listening to N'SYNC.
4. Don't make this a battle of the sexes and tell women to make you a sandwich or women to tell men that they must be overcompensating for a small penis. Let's be nice.
5. Feel free to share personal problems but don't say anything you will regret later.
6. If you want to give us a hypothetical question about a friend of a friend, I will talk about this "friend" in the third person if you wish me to do so. Okay, "friend".
7. If you want to ask me for advice personally you can, just PM me but don't expect me to solve your life, I will just give you the best advice I can with my minimal experience.
I have OCD and it gets worse with my anxiety. I tap things according to the numbers 3, 6, 12, 24, and 32. All intervals of the number 3. If I don't do certain things, such as step on certain cracked lines, tap doorknobs, or tap certain objects, my anxiety will rise. It won't be resolved until I do it and if I don't I think something bad will happen. I don't know what exactly, but I just think something will. If my anxiety is high it becomes a huge halt in what I do. I've tried many times to overcome it, but I just can't.
Inspired by the Nightcrew. Just say it. The Nightcrew.
I can't pick which issue to start with. I'll get back to you on this.
Start with slight deviations in your routines and then force yourself not to complete these cycles even if it feels painful at first. Once you overcome the initial idea that "something terrible will happen if I don't do this" and there are no consequences of that, your mind will start to realize the patterns are unnecessary. In behavioral modification therapy, that is how people overcome OCD. Often the therapist will force them to do things they avoid like step on a crack or not touch the doorknob, at first you might have a panic attack but if you ride out the panic attack with someone you trust, taking deep breaths, then you go through the initial deviation. Eventually the idea is that the deviations become permanent and that you retrain your brain into new forms of thinking. Good luck!
That's fine, Dave, take your time.
Spoken like a true professional.
I didn't know Linton Robinson played guitar.
But I should have.
Do you think I use humor as a defense mechanism? And if so, defense for what?
A possible deep-seeded aggression and anger. So maybe that's okay, instead of exploding you make jokes but eventually, you will explode. Just sayin'
See, after I posted, I postulated that it was in all liklihood a means by which to keep relationships impersonal and mask my own feelings with humor, which generally everyone appreciates, even if not of my own brand. As opposed to revealing anything (at all) about myself, and risking the consequence of being ridiculed or disliked.
Rebuttal?
In an online forum, that's not a bad stance to take. I think it's entirely valid, if this was a workplace though, it might be different. Although people do sometimes pretend to be completely different people at work than they are at home, as long as you know who you are and your true feelings. Just don't tuck away the feelings to placate others. Humor is a great means of expressing yourself and connecting with other people but if you can never be genuine then it becomes a crutch.
Keen insight, to be sure. Duly appreciated. If I interpret your opinion correctly, I can carry on, then?
Congratulations. You've earned a meme. I would tell all your friends.
PM sent.
Just be happy go lucky guy and bitch to us privately in chat. I wouldn't be sad, mopey guy. That's not the Dave we know and love.
I'm not discounting the anger and agression stance. There's evidence supporting that theory as well. I gave up sad mopey guy about ten years ago. Okay, eight. He didn't get laid, it was a no-go.
Learning has occurred.
I am the most violent-minded person I know. It's my first, second, and so on thought in almost any given situation. However, thought does not equal action.
I had extremely poor impulse control as a teen, and got into a lot of fights. Eventually, I reached the point where I didn't get anything out of it. I figured out, more or less, that without behavior modification, that I was most likely to wind up in a coffin or a jail cell. So I chose a vocation where extreme acts of violence is encouraged under specific parameters. For a while, this worked. It was good enough that I could wait out the lulls in between. The problem is, that the thoughts never really went away. I'm still pre-occupied by violent impulses to the point where I prefer social isolation.
Additionally, I'm extremely emotionally detached. I don't really feeel much of anything, but I'm able to go through the motions in most cases. The only emotion I 'know' I've ever really experienced is anger. The caveat is that it's difficult for me to get angry. Intellectually, I understand what anger is, but it's hard for me to achieve that state. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been angry, and the situation(s) justified it.
I've discussed this with counselors and psychologists in the past and the average consensus is either PTSD or possibly indication of some sort of low grade personality disorder.
Fundamentally, I'm in control of my actions, but the recurring thoughts give me pause. There's enough variety in my recurring thoughts that I'm not obsessing over a single thought, but the extreme ranges are enough to give me pause. So should I try to get to the bottom of this and determine if there's a deeper problem, or let it go because 'everybody has negative thoughts' and it's ok as long as I don't act them out?
So I chose a vocation where extreme acts of violence is encouraged under specific parameters. For a while, this worked. It was good enough that I could wait out the lulls in between.
Me too.
I would consider dealing with these emotions. You make yourself sound like a sociopath but if you are able to maintain relationships and have friends then obviously it isn't that bad. I think the best thing to do is get out your violent thoughts in your writing, I think that's why a lot of people write, to say the horrible things or do the horrible things that are in their head but on paper. However, if this "darkness" infects your life to the point where you are incapable of enjoying anything, I would consider getting help for it. As for emotional detachment, if you are naturally inclined to be a violent person then this detachment is a way of adhering to social norms and not allowing you to unleash this violence. You should be grateful for the detachment in a sense, otherwise you might end up killing someone. Although I'm assuming you can feel things like joy, laughter, love or at least disgust. However, if you are a total Patrick Bateman then you need to analyze the root. Nothing comes from nothing, there is always a reason why we are the way we are to the way we eat our food, sleep or greet a person. Nature/nurture be damned, there has to be a childhood reason for the rage and maybe you know what that is and even if you can't reconcile yourself to deal with these things, you must learn to live with them and let the rage against them slowly burn out as the years go by. Even the deepest pains numb over time and I know this from personal experience. You can still have scars but at least it isn't an open wound. Scars we can live with, they give us character, if we are just an open wound walking that just violently lashes out like an animal when touched then we never heal. Try to make amends with past devastations and become someone new.
Nature/nurture be damned, there has to be a childhood reason for the rage and maybe you know what that is and even if you can't reconcile yourself to deal with these things, you must learn to live with them and let the rage against them slowly burn out as the years go by.
Therein lies the problem. I can't identify any particular incident or trauma from my childhood that would have had a significant influence. My childhood was stable and relatively normal. The only issue I ever consistently had was an inability to identify with my peer group. My inability to understand the social circles or try and conform led to repeated confrontation.
I've always perferred isolation, to the extend that I've avoided relationships most of my life. Mostly due to a lack of interest, but partially because I'm inherently mistrustful of people and/or their motives, but that stems from 'wargaming' situations in my head. Unsurprisingly, that lent itself well to contingency planning. In most cases, people are fairly transparent after a few encounters.
To be clear though, I don't think I'm paranoid and I don't suffer from anxiety in any discernable way. I had a brief period where I was having bizarre anxiety issues and extreme paranoia episodes, but that turned out to be the side effect of a health disorder. Once the problem was identified and treated, both the anxiety and paranoia disappeared completely.
The possibility of schizophrenia had been raised in the past, along with aspergers. In recent years however, the focus has been shifted to the liklihood of TBI.
I'm greatly annoyed at the WAR and it's depressing the hell out of me.
I'm also tired of women saying something along the lines of "sure we can go out" and only saying it to spare feelings. If I tell you to tell me "no" tell me no and don't drag me on and give me false hope - it's worse than saying no.
I actually need a therapist - mine moved to Australia (true story).
@Jason, why are you annoyed by the war. Also, women give plenty of hints....even if they don't say 'no' directly, they'll say it in other ways, you just have to learn how to pick those up.
Like when they change their address without notice? I hate it when that happens.
On a more serious note, nearly everyone sends mixed signals at some point. With some people it's deliberate, women usually don't notice. I've never cared for the 'I just wanted to spare his feelings' approach. Most people I've known handle 'no' pretty well and move on.
With some people it's deliberate"
<---this guy.
I struggle to understand or relate to people I dislike or don't know. People who I don't mind or I like, i can walk fifty miles in their shoes, etc. But some asshole in physics? Nope. He asks me why I spat on him the day before. It's because I had done a minor fuckup and everyone laughed, but not him. He did a jerk-off sign. So I spat at him. Then he asks, why are you such an asshole to me? And I tell him very simply, that his existance disgusted me and it would unfaze me completely if he killed himself. His face remained the same, but something died in his eyes.
Also, I have quite drastic mood swings. See picture one for "Mood one".
Mood one is my "happy" mood. It can be changed by almost anything into the other three moods. It is sparked by cute things/people being cute, happy information, or pretty much anything that I find beneficial directly to me.
Picture two is mood two.
Mood two is when I feel my body has raised above sadness and humanity, and I feel very cold and alone. It can take five words for this to happen. It usually takes around an hour to get out of it. Five hours if I am alone.
Picture three is mood three.
In this mood I swear a lot, I am violent and loud and it is short lived. Someone pisses me off, this happens.
Picture four is mood four.
Here I am sullen, quiet, untalkative. I work, I do not interact. It is my normal mood. Mood one turns into this after the happiness has burnt away
Okay here's one for you, Danny. Last night I had a dream that I was at the park with my 2 year old. I am surprised to see that Brad Pitt is also at the park with one of his kids (in this dream he has a son my daughter's age). His kid is afraid to climb the jungle gym and he tells the kid "don't be a pussy", so I go over and tell Brad Pitt off. I then spend the rest of the dream telling people that with as progressive as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are, I wouldn't have expected him to use such a gender laden insult.
So, tell me Danny, what do you think it means? Where did this deep hatred of Brad Pitt come from?
Gosh showing our problems to the world.
EDIT
a fourteen year old? tell us more.
Yeah, I didn't want to say anything.....but, is that like dog years...cause.....well....
The law would ask you not to tell us more.
People assume I'm always drunk, which lately I've been. Think it's the whole age thing, but that's quickly wearing off. I think it's because I say a lot of stuff a typical person wouldn't say outright sober.
Anyways, I got this friend that tries to kill himself practically once a month via overdose. I've studied up on it quite a bit because it is a weird phenomenon. There is this weird form of addiction called "suicide addiction" that hasn't made an entrance into any DSM book, but you can find shrink people talking about it every now and then. More or less what a person does is attempt to kill themselves in a certain way quite frequently, but the difference in just being a depressed person is that it's more of a gamble.
"Suicide addiction" sounds rather silly because if you just loaded a gun there would be no room to grow fond of it. However, there are ways that are not so finite. Such as pills, cutting, poisoning, and liquor that everyone knows isn't always successful to off a person. Anyways, it's kind of a life gambling addiction. Examples of such behavior would be downing enough pain medication with bottles of Nyquil to fall unconscious knowing that you could either not wake up again, fail an organ, or wake up several hours later just sick. Household appliances that have been known to kill people, just take the limit to test it. Or cut your wrists the wrong way several times in one day to see if you lose enough blood to leave the world.
People like this fall under the radar of psychiatry because the first thing they do when they catch one is explain to them that their "depression" is calling out for help. I think you'll find in your future career there will be many colleagues with such a belief. Prior to the incident big enough to get somebodies attention to lock the individual up somewhere, the patient has probably did the same thing several times, but they won't tell you or anybody. They'll walk right out the door after a 72-96 hour hold because they'll appear to be quite normal, just like they were when they attempted. Worst of all, the lab coats arm them with their next round of bottled ammunition. I'm sure my friend, if he'd talk about it, would tell anybody with a plan of going into the field of psychology to truly look at every patient as different and never jump to conclusions from an evaluation because paper can be lied to. Care about getting to know a patient, don't become another fast food derivative of pharmaceutical companies.
Discussion pony is excited!
Also, the age of consent in Missouri is actually 13, not sure about Kentucky.
Then again, I've known people that got sagetory rape charges just because a young girl took advantage of the law. In the laws eyes you are taking advantage of them no matter what really. No law against being in love with somebody younger than you though. In fact, in adulthood six years isn't that much of an uncommon difference with couples. As a young girl though, chances are she'll change as a person quite a bit before 21.
Have some flan.
If more therapists gave out flan the world would be a better place too.
Theres no logic to what I do so I don't really linger on the pedo issue much.
In other news, I lit my room mate on fire yesterday for my birthday. Theres probably something wrong with that.
I want my five cents back - I got no good advice.
I'll share my flan with you.
The official therapist isn't in yet.
@Renee--you like to challenge male authoritative power but that's a good thing. You are also a protective mother and this shows in the dream.
@jason--show them your amputee story, it is a surefire hit with the ladies but seriously women try to be nice, well most of them, when it comes to rejection so just be more in tune with body language and restraining orders. Tell your penis to relax and the right woman will come along someday. And always masturbate before a first date so you are actually listening to your date and not staring at her boobs. Never assume sex and just do your Morrisey pose a lot, its actually very sexy.
Just join a Morrisey fan club, Jason. Locate a female in your area.
Win.
@laurance--I have had a lot of friends like this throughout my life. It is attention seeking behavior, they want help and don't know how to ask. Or they do have serious conditions that aren't being addressed. Bipolars can be very suicidal coming off a manic cycle. I understand drugs aren't always the answer, the answer is usually behavior modification and recognizing triggers for self-destructive behavior. Yet no one can really help someone unless they want to change, many mentally ill people become addicted to their own madness and get off on the inspiration it gives them or that they feel unique and powerful. It always reminds me of Angelina Jolie in "Girl, Interupted". She believes her madness gives her power over people to see all their weaknesses and destroy them but it also drains her soul to live off that manic energy. So the question is: do you want to live day to day, hour to hour and thrive on chaos with the possibility of death always looming or take what productive energy you have and live a less destructive existence? It's not a judgment, it's a choice, many artists and people have chosen to swallow their madness and embrace despair fully so they could create and feel that power but they usually die young or by their own hand.
@Dakota--you are young, I am sure you have some moral compass, just don't do anything you will regret for the rest of your life.
@typewriter--sometimes people deserve second chances, so maybe he was an asshole one time but desperate to fit in. I know you put up a lot of walls to protect yourself but I think sometimes you alienate yourself. Some of my best friends were people I hated on sight, then I realized all the stereotypes I projected onto them.
no, but the thing is, that last year, before I "came out" so to speak, he was a really nice guy. I actually kinda liked him. But...basically the moment he thought I was even slightly gay, he was an asshole from thereonin.
I think your advice is solid, because honestly who would want to be depressed or bitter all their lives?
I think there is something else out there like what you are describing though. Who hasn't had the friend that continuously says to call them or they were going to off themselves? The person I am describing wouldn't tell anybody about it when it happens or is about to. Nobody would know unless they are hospitalized or get that phone call from a mutual friend that they are dead.
I do think change of scenario is often a cure or temporary fix for most conditions though.
My advice was....expected.
@Danny--that is probably more accurate than you realize. What I left out is that since Fight Club, Brad Pitt has always kind of reminded me of my dad. Mostly because of his laugh in that movie, but maybe just a little because my dad was as batshit crazy as Tyler Durden.
Orgasms get really boring after a while, so when erect I slap it around like a kitten playing with one of those springy door stoppers. Sometimes I dress it up like a little boy and make miniature pinatas to wack it against filled with His and Hers warming sensations jelly. Lately I've gotten adventurous with wacking it against random peoples door knobs and different friends' belongings and girlfriends.
What the fuck is happening to me, Danny?
Edit
@Lara
you're sexual-frustratedly trying to find a source of amusement. Or at least htat's what I think. Tell us more.
I think you're right. This hole, that hole, and the other get boring after a while.
There's just so many things to put my penis on in this world, why waste time shoving it in and out of the same places? At bars I take random peoples cups to the bathroom and spread dog water all around the lip of the glass. My seed has found a home in more places than biologically intended.
That, or...Lara, does it turn you on to touch things with your dick that shouldnt be?
Dip your cock in candlewax every night before bed and let it form a mold around your penis. Once you remove the outer layer of skin, your penis will feel fresh and new again. Then you and your skinflute pal can be out on the town and find new orifices to corrupt again.
My friend said that burns, Danny.
Are you a wizard?
Yes, I am an anal wizard.
The way I see it, if someone really tries, they can drink themselves to death in two weeks.
