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Behind the Scenes
How It Rates
Description
This story is a transgressive speculative satire narrated by a junkie writer trapped in a corporate Disney think tank to his sex-bot soulmate describing the plot of the reality tv show he writes for, which fools the cast into thinking they're on a ship in outer space and the Earth has been ruined and they're the only humans left alive, so they don't think anyone is watching them anymore, although they're really just in a studio on Earth. It explores themes of the devaluation of nature by entertainment/media, the horror of issues I feel that we, as a species, should have resolved by now, such racism and patriarchal prejudice, surviving into the hi-tech future. The idea was, if Kurt Vonnegut and Margaret Atwood were smoking crack with Ana Lydia Vega, Carmen Naranjo, and Anthony Burgess, and they wrote a story together... Well, this is my idea of what that would be like.
It's only 1,331 words long. I like it how it is, but I can always add seventy words if you insist.
Thank you,
Casey
Comments
Transgressive ... I had to look that one up: "to go beyond a boundary or limit" Well, I'd say you succeeded in that one. I spent the entire time I was reading the story dumbfounded thinking WTF. Wow! You have a talent for offending people ...
The slang you used throughout the story really threw me. There was so much of it that I found it difficult to keep track of. It was enough to force me to slow down and attempt to define the words through context clues. That's my biggest complaint there.
Other than that, there were a few duplicate words and minor editing things here and there. Nothing that another editing read through wouldn't fix.
I'm really not sure what to think of your concept. The attitude of your main character was problematic enough that I almost stopped reading about half way through. I only kept at it hoping it get better. Unfortunately, it didn't ...
I feel like I just stepped out of a really weird freaky dream.
I really do like your idea and your themes are awesome, but the execution is a little alienating. It's not offensive or anything, but really doesn't draw you in. I think this would work better as an actual conversation with the sex-bot.
I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've ever written a sentence like that.
As written, you're just telling us what happened. I'd rather have seen somebody watching the show, describing their experience on the show, being on the show--that sort of thing.
Ultimately, I think you can be proud of your concept here. I'm not sure how palatable it is to the average reader.
Thanks for your feedback, and for reading. The story is probably not for everyone.
I like the idea of describing it as a viewer, thanks for that! It immediately sparked some ideas for another story.
The dialogue used in A Clockwork Orange sprang instantly to mind and I understand what you're trying to do but I do think it still needs something else to give it a bit more weight, I found the stream of consciousness rant style interesting. This is certainly the most experimental piece I've read so far in this contest, so props to you for having the stones for trying something new.
Thanks! I agree; it does need something else...
It's a hard read, the invention in the words is a nice idea but led to some repetition which made it tougher. I'm not the biggest fan of most of the authors you list in your description, so I'm probably not your target audience. It had an almost Burroughs-esque vibe at points as well. I probably got more out of your description than I did out of the story if I'm honest. I think the theme you choose could be a really interesting one to explore, but I think the story needs to be a bit more inclusive. It was just too alienating for me I'm afraid.