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Comments
Wow, what a wonderful, evocative story. It's amazing. I love your use of the language. Thanks, too, for the Archibald Macleish poem. I didn't know about that one.
Thx so much for your kind words Jane - I have replied to everyone at http://litreactor.com/events/scare-us/the-darkness#comment-105972 :-)
Regards,
/Z
Wow! Excellent imagery.
The opening combat scene flowed like a ballet. The descriptions were well done. Interesting way the fight went with the warrior fighting in the dark. My assumption was that this was set in the future (or in some human like world with advanced technology) but nonetheless the use of a bayonet as the primary weapon was unique.
The writing flowed very well. It was poetic. You certainly have a way with words.
Beautifully written, and haunting. It felt more like post-apocalyptic sci-fi than horror to me, which I liked. There is so much open to interpretation here that the reader can really walk away with their own idea of character, plot and setting- I know I did and I'm sure it's not what you intended.
My favorite part was the silent statues of her filling the expanded apartment.
I loved the opening fight scene. Reminds me of the God of War or Dante's Inferno video games. It was great. I loved the description of the appartment too. I stumbled a bit with the switches in p.o.v. but that should be easy enough to clean up. Thanks for the great read.
--Jonathan--
Very impressive. You have a real talent for writing. Normally I don't get into this kind of short story but this one had some real quality about it.
Hey guys, thanks so much to you all for taking the time to read 'The Darkness', in fact an extract from the first novella of my debut manuscript ‘Babushka: The Warrior’s Angel’. A positive reaction always means something more when it comes from a fellow writer who understands the blood, sweat and tears required to get the right words on the page in roughly the right order... If you are interested in reading more about this warrior and his storyworld then you might like to know that the rest of this novella is online at http://thewarriorsangel.tumblr.com. Also, FYI, I am curently adapting this story into a screenplay for a film project. More information about this project can be found on its blog at http://whatifloveneverhadtodie.tumblr.com and its facebook page at www.facebook.com/BabushkaTheFilm. I hope you will enjoy the rest of this story as it unfolds and will always welcome any further comments you have the time to offer. Your support means a great deal to me :-)
/Z
PS. If, in return, you would ever like to share any of your writing with me then my email address is Zennis@ThePatchworkProject.com.