Hatch (revised version)
I'm not very techhie, and I couldn't figure out how to upload a revised version into the same space as the old version, so apologies, I had to make a whole new post.
Thanks especially to Asshole American, Andrew Kelly, and Joshua Blair for your very helpful suggestions, and Joshua for your great LbL. I didn't take every suggestion when I revised this, but I did take a bunch. By the way, Joshua, insects like this don't just exude their eggs, they really do EXTRUDE them, yuck. Thanks to ArianeEnarla for the liquid/liquefaction suggestion, but I stayed with liquefaction. I wanted that process of liquifying to be at the forefront, not just the outcome of the process. Don't know if it works. Similarly, even though I know that literally the bug is sucking Mrs. W, the feeling I wanted was the flesh as it sucks against the pane of glass, I guess from the sucking action of the bug, but I don't think it would feel like that so much from the perspective of the suckee, so I kept my own suckage there. The main thing I fixed was the terrible pov problem, for which I have only myself to blame when I decided on a show-offy Moby Dick reference for the ending. It is gone! (but not the other literary allusion *sly laugh*). I played with a couple of pov options and just went back to the original omniscient pov, which works a lot better. Thanks again, guys! This contest was a whole lot of fun. My story sucks!
By the way, speaking of suckage, please everyone go read AssholeAmerican's great story. Not enough people look like they've read it, and a WHOLE lot of suckin goin on there.